Refusing My God’s Advances

"Once you enter a cave like this, there is no exit. Would you like to know something very interesting?"

Vaedos's voice came from everywhere as I tried to make my way back over to the monster. The crystals were starting to slow down, but now they were shooting out of the sides of existing crystals. I could easily evade them, but I had been forced back numerous times because my path started to close in on me.

Since I didn't speak up, Vaedos kept talking. "Ember was the last one to defeat me, and he did so with a strategy that I have not seen since. He understood that direct confrontation was not the only way to win. Instead, he used the environment to his advantage, turning my own strengths against me. It was a battle of wits as much as it was of power."

I already knew that brute force wouldn't win this fight and that being unpredictable was the key. Vaedos was a divine-ranked monster for a reason, and if I was going to survive, let alone win, I needed to think creatively. I glanced around the cave, taking in the shifting crystals and the myriad of colors they reflected. There had to be a way to use this environment to my advantage.

"Interesting," I murmured, buying time as I formulated a plan. The crystals... were connected to Vaedos, but they were also a part of the cave. If Ember used the environment against Vaedos, then perhaps I could do the same.

I activated Chrono Vortex, creating a localized field where time was dilated. The crystals slowed, their movements becoming sluggish. I withdrew my Drill of the Abyss and switched to the Drill Bit of Oblivion. According to Garland and the description, this bad boy could drill through anything, even the plot holes of a poorly written space opera. With the Drill of the Abyss in hand, now sporting the Drill Bit of Oblivion, I couldn't help but feel like the protagonist of a cosmic DIY show.

"Time for a bit of home renovation, Vaedos style," I quipped, revving the drill like it was a motorcycle from a 90s action flick. The sound echoed through the cave, turning the intense atmosphere into something out of a cartoon.

As I approached the nearest crystal, I couldn't help but imagine a DIY show's host narrating my actions. "And here we see our intrepid hero, about to demonstrate the proper way to redecorate your ancient crystal-infested cave. Remember, folks, always wear protective gear when handling divine-grade crystals!"

The Drill Bit of Oblivion made short work of the crystal, sending shards flying like confetti at the world's most dangerous party. "Who needs a decorator when you have the right tools?" I said, dodging another crystal spike with a grace that would make a ballet dancer envious.

Vaedos, for his part, seemed amused by my antics. "I must admit, your approach is... unique. Ember never had power tools."

"I bring a modern touch to ancient problems," I replied, now using the drill to pole vault over a particularly nasty patch of crystal spikes. "You could say I'm a pioneer of the mystical handyman arts."

As I landed, I realized that the cave itself was starting to look like a Swiss cheese model of what not to do when designing a villain's lair. Crystals were either missing, making the place look like it had a severe case of geological acne, or were just shattered on the cave floor like most people's hopes and dreams after a week of adulting.

I was getting closer to Vaedos, but I couldn't help but notice how much fun I was actually having. The fight had started off in a bad way, but now that I had acclimated to the crystal's patterns and growth speeds. Now it was just a war of attrition as I used my drill to cut my path. The only upside was that the drill prevented the crystals from growing again in the same spot.

As I made my way toward Vaedos, the atmosphere in the cave shifted from a deadly battlefield to something resembling a bizarre obstacle course designed by a mad architect with a crystal fetish. Every step I took was accompanied by the whir of the Drill of the Abyss, now my trusty sidekick in this underground comedy of errors.

"Vaedos, you ever considered a career in interior design?" I called out, slicing through another crystal with the ease of a hot knife through butter. "I mean, this place has potential, but it's a bit... stabby for my taste."

The divine beast, now seemingly more entertained than threatened, replied with a rumble that vibrated the very air. "I had not, but watching you work makes me consider the possibilities."

I couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity of the situation. Here I was, deep in a dungeon, bantering with a divine being while demolishing his crystal menagerie with a power tool. If this wasn't a story to tell my grandchildren, I didn't know what was.

"Alright, let's add a little personal touch," I said, eyeing a particularly large crystal that seemed to be pulsing with energy. With a grin, I aimed the Drill of the Abyss at its base. The drill bit met the crystal with a resounding screech, sending echoes throughout the cavern. Shards of crystal flew in every direction, glinting like a disco ball gone supernova.

As the crystal toppled, I jumped back, but then I noticed all the crystals started to shatter. I looked around until I spotted Vaedos, but he looked like a crystal 10-foot-tall hulk of a man now. His body was still filled with the same purple and blue colors, but he looked far more ominous.

Vaedos, now resembling a crystalline titan from the depths of an epic saga, stood imposingly before me. His transformation was nothing short of miraculous, a testament to the sheer power of divine creatures. Yet, the situation's inherent humor wasn't lost on me—here I was, armed with nothing more than a high-powered drill, facing off against a being that could easily be the final boss in any fantasy game.