Re:Zero - Reincarnated on a Co-op Route

"Emilia... I..."

Muttered Subaru, mustering all the possible strength he had left to tell her the truth.

When he tried to speak, something strange happened. The words just wouldn't come out. It was as if his tongue was trapped, as if his throat had closed completely. It was impossible to say anything.

Then, he noticed. Everything around him was frozen. Emilia stood motionless in front of him, her face worried, but completely static. The air was not moving, not even the faint sound of the environment was present. Subaru tried to breathe, but he couldn't either.

Time itself had stopped moving forward.

"What's going on!" thought Subaru, as his mind began to fill with panic. He wanted to move, but his body didn't respond. It seemed that only his soul was still conscious. He was trapped in an inhuman state, with no control over anything.

Suddenly, his vision was completely obscured. He could no longer see Emilia, or the room, or anything. There was only a black, deep, terrifying emptiness.

Subaru began to feel something strange inside him. It was as if something was slipping inside him, moving slowly through his body. His mind screamed for answers, but there was only silence.

Then he saw it.

A hand made of shadows, black as the abyss, emerged within his field of perception. The hand moved with an eerie calm, as if it knew exactly what it was doing. It went straight to his chest, to where his heart would be.

Subaru wanted to scream, but he could not. He wanted to stop it, but he had no control over anything.

When the hand reached his heart, it caressed it gently. It was almost a loving gesture, but what came next was not. The hand squeezed his heart, not physically, but in a way Subaru couldn't understand. It was as if it was pressing on his very soul.

The pain was not physical. It was something deeper, more intense, something that made him feel completely helpless. It was a warning, as clear as a blade to the neck.

And then the hand disappeared.

--- 

[Returning to Reality]

"AHG!"

Subaru snapped back to reality, clutching his chest tightly. The pain lingered, not in his body, but inside, as if his soul was being squeezed.

"Subaru! Are you all right?" exclaimed Emilia, leaning toward him, visibly worried.

"Do you need me to heal you?"

"No... I'm fine, Emilia. I'm sorry for worrying you. Really, I'm fine,"

Subaru replied, quickly pulling himself together, though his pale face and the sweat on his forehead said otherwise.

"What happened to you? You looked like you wanted to tell me something important, didn't you?" asked Emilia, still worried.

Subaru lowered his gaze, trying to avoid her expression. He knew he couldn't tell her the truth Every time he tried, something stopped him. Something he couldn't understand.

"Oh, that..." muttered Subaru, desperately searching for an excuse. But inside, he was on the verge of collapse.

"What can I do? I can't tell her anything. I can't change anything. Everything I try ends in disaster. Emilia, I just want to protect you, but I can't do anything right."

Fear consumed him. Ever since he had arrived at the mansion, every third day had ended the same way: brutally murdered, without mercy, without hope. He had tried everything, from gaining Rem and Ram's trust to avoiding any suspicion, but it all ended in his corpse shattered on the floor like worthless, pitiless trash.

It all seemed pointless.

"Emilia... I... I... I need some time alone, please," Subaru said in a frail, almost broken voice.

"Alone time...? That's fine, Subaru. But if you feel you need to tell me something, please talk to me," Emilia replied tenderly.

She took his hand gently, bringing it to her cheek. Her skin was warm, comforting, Subaru felt a small spark of calm in that gesture, as if for a moment he could forget about the suffering.

He blushed slightly, his mind filled with confusion. "Your warmth... your love... it's the only thing that keeps me going. But I don't want to die anymore. I don't want to suffer anymore. I'm afraid."

With a small smile, Emilia walked out of the room, leaving Subaru alone with his thoughts.

---

Kaoru was waiting in the hallway in front of the door, arms crossed. His expression was serious, as if he already knew what was happening.

"Kaoru, there's something wrong with Subaru," Emilia said, stopping in front of him. "He won't tell me what it is, but please help him. He's in pain."

Kaoru nodded. "I know very well what's wrong with him. Leave it to me, Emilia."

Emilia nodded slowly, trusting Kaoru, and walked off down the hallway. Now, Kaoru was alone in front of Subaru's door.

"It's time to talk to him. " Kaoru thought as he took a deep breath and prepared to go inside.

--[Kaoru POV]--

As I reach for the doorknob, I pause.

"What am I supposed to say to him, 'Be strong, we'll get through this' or some empty phrase I don't even believe myself?".

I lean against the door, dropping all my weight. My back slowly slides until I'm sitting on the floor, my legs wrapped around my arms. My expression must be that of a corpse, because that's how I feel.

To be honest, I'm just as scared, if not more scared than he is. My anxiety levels have reached heights I didn't even know were possible.

I look straight ahead, but my mind is elsewhere, saturated with thoughts and emotions I don't know how to handle.

"I really don't know what to do," I mutter, my voice muffled, almost a whisper. I lower my head and rest my forehead on my knees.

"I haven't been this confused since high school math midterms. What a fucking joke."

"How many times has Subaru died without me noticing? How many times have I died?"

That thought hits me harder than I expected.

I only remember the last moments of the last loop. The screams, the pain, the despair. But Subaru... Subaru remembers everything. Every death, every suffering.

Why does he have to carry all that and I don't? What a cruel joke. He remembers it all, and I barely a fraction. How much torment must he have endured that I can't even imagine?"

"I'M SICK OF ME" I say aloud, without thinking.

I look down at my hands, trembling. I'm sitting here, while Subaru is on the other side of the door, facing a hell I can't even begin to comprehend. And I'm here. Sitting. Paralyzed. Like an imbecile.

"I'd give anything for a cigarette right now. Shit..."

I run a hand through my hair back, letting out a frustrated sigh. I feel helpless, like I'm trapped in a maze with no way out.

As I'm sunk in my thoughts, I hear footsteps approaching. I look out of the corner of my eye and see her: Rem.

My heart instantly fills with anger and resentment.

She was the one who tortured us. The one who mutilated me and killed Subaru in the last loop. I can still feel the weight of the chain, the sound of my flesh tearing.

"Stupid bitch."

I hold back with all my might the urge to throw myself at her. I know it would be useless. I have no skills, no strength, no nothing. I'd just end up dead again.

"Is something wrong, Rem?" I ask, hiding my hostility behind a neutral voice.

"Mr. Roswaal has just arrived. Can you go to the main dining room?" asks Rem politely, his tone as cool and professional as ever.

"Oh, Roswaal. Yes, we'll be there," I reply, forcing a smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes.

Rem makes a small gesture of farewell before retreating down the hallway.

When he disappears, I let out a low growl. "Stupid bitch," I mutter, gritting my teeth.

---

"Are you going to stand there all day? How pathetic you are."

The voice takes me by surprise. I turn sharply toward the source of the comment, ready to respond with fury, but I stop when I see who it is. Beatrice.

She's standing, looking at me with her usual expression of indifference, as if she's sizing me up.

"Beatrice," I say, more as a statement than a greeting.

"If you can't even talk to your friend who's in there, then you should stop considering yourself his friend," she says bluntly, her words cutting like a knife.

I lower my gaze for a moment. I know he's right. Every word.

But I can't help justifying myself in my mind. I can't find the words. I don't know what to say. No one in this goddamn mansion is to blame for what happened in the last loop, but the pain, the fear...it's all still there. 

Then, something crosses my mind. I remember something Rem said in the last loop. "You emanate a foul miasma. "

"Beatrice," I say, raising my head. "Do you know what Miasma is?"

Beatrice frowns, surprised by the question. "You seriously didn't know about that stench you emanated? Spirits like me and those two maidservants can smell it. It is repulsive. It's the Witch's scent," she replies disdainfully.

"Witch?" I ask, confused.

"Yes," Beatrice says, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

For a moment, my mind goes into what I can only describe as a soothing catharsis. Everything starts to click.

"Thank you so much, Beatrice. Knowing that helped me a lot," I say with a genuine smile as I raise a hand and stroke her hair.

"Hey, what are you doing?" exclaims Beatrice, very surprised.

"Seriously, you saved me from a lot of headaches - that explains everything!"

"Everything? What are you talking about? Stop touching my hair!" grumbles Beatrice, pulling away a little.

"Oh, sorry, sorry," I say as I pull my hand away quickly, grinning like a child caught getting into mischief.

"You're lucky I didn't send you flying, kashira," Beatrice says with an annoyed tone, crossing her arms.

"I'm sorry!" I say as I make an apologetic gesture, raising my hands in a peace sign.

Beatrice sighs, shaking her head. "Whatever, I have things to do and I don't want to keep wasting my time with you."

"See you, Beatrice," I say as I watch her walk away.

She pauses for a moment, looks at me with some curiosity, and then leaves without another word.

---

"So the problem was Miasma all along... Why do I have Miasma in the first place?" I think as I stand up, one hand on my chin. "Shit, I should have asked Beatrice more about that. Well, maybe another time. There's something much more important to do right now."

I take a deep breath. "Subaru can't give up. I won't allow it. "

With that renewed determination, I turn to Subaru's door and place my hand on the knob. "It's time to talk to him. "