Scent Of Time

Chapter 54

After I left the palace, I went straight to the capital government office, feeling extra bumpy in the carriage. I pulled out a small bottle from my bosom and played with it in my hand before finally lifting my hand and throwing it out of the window. It was a small bottle of painkillers, the very same medicine I had applied to Zhong Xiwu before. When I arrived, the jailer seemed to have been notified earlier and had unlocked Hua Rongzhou’s shackles.

Hua Rongzhou quietly stayed in a dirty place, but his face was clean. I felt less depressed at this time, so I smiled and said, “Come out, I’ll take you back.” He shrank in the corner and didn’t move, looking at me with hazy eyes. I waited quietly in the doorway before he made a move. When he walked up to me, he frowned and spoke, “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing,” I responded with a smile.

“Liar.” Hua Rongzhou looked slightly annoyed, “You can’t lie, so don’t try to.”

I said nothing and took him out. I was about to enter the carriage, but my foot stepped on the air. Luckily, Hua Rongzhou held my body in time.

“Be careful of your injuries—” I hadn’t finished the words when the sky started spinning. Hua Rongzhou carried me onto the carriage. Even though I was depressed, I was shocked for a moment.

“Hua Rongzhou, are you …… having a double personality?” I couldn’t help but ask in the carriage.

“What is that?” Hua Rongzhou looked at me confusedly.

I felt something was wrong, but I couldn’t say it. After all, there were a lot of things going on these days. When I arrived at the Hua Mansion, I took Hua Rongzhou back to the courtyard, instructed him to freshen up, and then packed a parcel myself.

Yin Xing had already disappeared, and now this courtyard had fewer people—probably, it would be only me in the end. About half an hour later, Hua Rongzhou walked in with high spirits. He bathed, changed his clothes, and looked like a handsome young man. Greeting his sparkling eyes, I pushed the prepared package and spoke, “Here are some money and food. You don’t have a contract, so I prepared these things.”

I then enjoyed a play called Face Change. Hua Rongzhou’s glittering face instantly became gloomy. Looking at his clenched fists, I raised my hand to rub my brow and said, “It was wrong of you to kill people. I’ve already done my best by preserving your life, so find another way out yourself in the future.”

“Didn’t Miss say you wouldn’t let me alone? Now you’re going to abandon me as well?” Hua Rongzhou opened his mouth; his tone was heartbreaking, although he didn’t seem sad.

This person knew how to attack one’s weakness and use the most tragic words for people to hear. But it wasn’t easy to protect myself now so that I couldn’t keep anyone around me. “En, you can leave.” I hardened my heart not to look at him.

“Miss, no one in the mansion can beat me, right?”

Hearing these words, I subconsciously looked up, and Hua Rongzhou added, “So if I don’t leave, no one will be able to drive me away.”

I froze for a long time before reacting. Was he still the honest Hua Rongzhou? Before I could say anything to him, I saw his expression change to a pitiful look again. “Miss said she would take me away, and I agreed. Now, how can Miss go back on her word?”

Steadying my mind, I say, “This time is different from the past, I have ……”

“If Miss blames me for killing others, then I will not strike without your command in the future.” Without waiting for me to speak, Hua Rongzhou spoke again.

I felt how difficult he was to deal with for the first time, so I put away all my expressions and boarded up my face, preparing to drive him away sternly. However, he turned his hand and took a sword, saying, “If Miss doesn’t believe me, I will now destroy my right hand so that I can never hurt anyone again.”

I hurriedly reached out to pull him back and saw a shallow scratch on his right wrist, startling me to the point where my whole body went numb. I know that although his nature was soft, he has always been stubborn. Still, I did not expect to reach this point. Thus, my plan of using ‘I-can’t-tolerate-you-had-killed-people-so-I-drive-you-away’ didn’t work out.

I pulled his hand and looked at him, who was already a head taller than me. His eyes were, ‘If you drive me away, that means you don’t believe in me so that I will abolish martial arts.’ I had many ways to treat others, yet I couldn’t do anything to him.

“I’m not chasing you away anymore. Put the sword away for me.” I shook off his hand and barked.

Hua Rongzhou’s eyes suddenly came alive and joyful as he looked at me, causing me to swallow back a bellyful of anger. Forget it. It was better to think of other methods.

After resting for a day, I sent a letter. Then, I went to Mrs. Hua’s courtyard on a rare visit. When Li Mama, who guarded the door, saw me, her eyes suddenly reddened: “Miss finally came. I thought Miss held a grudge against Madam’s words before and wouldn’t come here again.”

I held her hand and said, “It was me who unfilial. It’s been hard on Mama.”

Li Mama trembled and spoke, “It’s not hard–”

I entered the inner room and saw Mrs. Hua holding an embroidery. She was embroidering alone. She looked much older, and her head was full of gray hair. She had stayed inside since Hua Shen’s death.

There was some guilt in my heart. Hua Shen saved me from death, but I gave up avenging him for Hua Rongzhou. But even if I wanted to take revenge, what could I do? There’s no law here, and Zhong Xiwu was insistent on his defense, so what could I do with Noble Consort Qi? I didn’t have superpower or influence. As a female supporting character, I didn’t even have a heroine’s halo or golden finger. I’ve been constrained in every way since I transmigrated here, and I’ve tried my best to do everything, but there were always things I couldn’t do. I couldn’t possibly throw my own life to die with Noble Consort Qi, so I could only use this matter as a bargaining chip to maximize my welfare. This was me, me who didn’t fantasize about the impossible, who was always awake, sensible, and cruel to the point of loathing myself.

I sat beside Mrs. Hua and spoke softly, “Mother, I come to see you.”

Mrs. Hua’s hands shook, but her body did not move. I leaned my head against her back, wrapped my hands around her waist from behind, and spoke, “I’m unfilial, letting Mother suffer.”

Mrs. Hua raised a hand and blocked her mouth with the back of her hand, but the whimpering sound came out intermittently. My eyes burned, and my mouth whispered, “Mother, I miss you.”

Mrs. Hua could no longer hold back. She turned to me in my arms and loudly cried: “It’s me who ruthlessly scolded you and hurt your heart. It’s me who is wrong, ah…”

At this moment, I’m full of regret. How good would it have been to get close to Mrs. Hua earlier? Or, being ruthless from the beginning would also be good. Would it become more complicated if we’re doing it now? But even in modern times, I have only just graduated. I should be surrounded by family and friends, longing for the future, but I have come here—to this place full of repression and injustice, to survive cautiously. The future was already dark; now, I wanted to be reckless and no longer suffocate myself. Surprisingly, crying with Mrs. Hua and letting out mother and daughter’s honest words made our gap smaller.

Hua Xiang heard that Mrs. Hua and I unraveled the knot and felt happy. The atmosphere in Hua Mansion became light, and I’m gratefully enjoying this serenity. Having enjoyed such a place for half a month, I finally received a letter of reply. At this time, it has reached the fourth day of the month. After dinner, I went to find Hua Xiang alone.

“The palace will be crowded tomorrow, and Mother’s health is not good. It’s better not to go to the banquet.” I tried to wear a concerned expression. Some of it was true; after all, I was worried that Mrs. Hua would not be able to withstand the excitement I triggered at the banquet. Hua Xiang hesitated momentarily and nodded, “That’s right. After all, there’s not much to see at this palace banquet, so it’s better for your mother not to go.”

I nodded and spoke again, “Has Father thought about resigning?”

Hua Xiang stroked his beard before speaking: “Your brother’s tablet has settled. Now, my only knot is the person who harmed your brother. Even if I die, I’ll be willing.”

Restrained the pain in my heart, I spoke, “Father, don’t say that. I am here. I’ll protect Father and the Hua Family.”

Hua Xiang smiled and rubbed my hair, “Good child.”