Separation Anxiety

Guilt

It was on the way back from summer vacation supplementary classes. Rain was pouring down as if a hole had opened up in the sky. Even with an umbrella, clothes and shoes quickly became soaked. It was Dawoon himself who had refused the offer to be driven by car.

Third generation of the Haedo Group. He hated having that label attached to him. In elementary school, he really did commute with a chauffeur. Back then, he didn’t realize how special it was to be driven by a chauffeur rather than his parents.

“What does your dad do?”

“The person who drops you off every morning, if it’s not your dad, is it really your family’s chauffeur? Does your family really have a chauffeur?”

Around third or fourth grade, the children started showing curiosity.

Jeong Dawoon was the third generation of the Haedo Group.

As that rumor began to spread, the children’s attitudes changed. Girls approached him with unnecessary kindness, while the boys split into groups—those trying to become close friends and those showing complete antipathy.

As more people began to see only the Haedo Group’s third generation, not Jeong Dawoon, normal daily life became impossible. Even within the private elementary school known for wealthy students, once the Haedo Group label was attached, Dawoon became a conspicuous presence.

That’s why for middle school, he deliberately chose a public school instead of the affiliated private one. He also stopped commuting by car. Although the house wasn’t on the main road and required some walking, it wasn’t an impossible distance. He stubbornly started commuting alone and never mentioned that his father was the vice chairman of the Haedo Group when asked.

Even being a third-generation chaebol didn’t make much difference. Dawoon wanted to live an ordinary, everyday life with his friends, and in middle school, no one knew he was a child of the Haedo Group. So even during the rainy season, even when the rain was pouring so hard that he couldn’t see ahead, he couldn’t accept his mother’s offer to send a car.

Water seeped into his shoes, making a squelching feeling with each step. Thinking he’d need to shower first when he got home, he trudged along.

Just before turning onto the street with the mansion, he saw a familiar car stopped at a traffic light. It was the car his father used for commuting. It seemed odd at this early hour for returning from work. Maybe he had a quick errand at home. The house was still quite a walk from the main road. This entire area was Haedo Group property. It was more of a mansion than a house. Thinking he might catch a ride if they were going the same way, he approached but slowly came to a stop.

He saw his father in the back seat with another woman. A secretary? Sometimes secretaries did accompany him, so at first, he didn’t think much of it. But then he looked at his own condition. He was already soaked through, making the umbrella almost meaningless. It would be inconsiderate to get into the car in this state, especially with someone else in the back seat with his father.

I’ll just walk a bit more.

While he hesitated, the light changed, and the car started moving. It was indeed heading home, turning right onto the street with the mansion. Not feeling inclined to call out to the car that had already left, he just kept walking. After walking for about 10 more minutes to reach home, he saw his father’s car parked at the entrance of the mansion. He slightly regretted not having caught a ride after all, feeling drained from walking in the rain for so long.

“Oh my, Dawoon!”

His mother, who was just coming down from the second floor, was startled to see Dawoon. She quickly called an employee to bring a large towel. His mother took the towel herself and dried Dawoon’s wet hair.

“You need to shower first.”

Dawoon nodded obediently to his mother’s words.

“Is father home? I saw his car out front.”

“Yes. But he said he needs to go out again soon. He’s going on a business trip.”

Business trip? So he won’t be home today? Dawoon tilted his head in thought. His father didn’t take female secretaries on business trips. His mother had once said it was to avoid any potential unsavory rumors.

“Did father’s secretary change?”

“Huh?”

His mother asked what he meant.

“On my way here, I happened to see someone who looked like a secretary with father in his car. But it was a face I hadn’t seen before.”

“That could happen. You don’t know all of your father’s secretaries.”

His mother was right. While he occasionally saw the faces of secretaries who came to pick up his father, he didn’t know how many secretaries there were at the company.

“Was it… a woman?”

His mother stopped Dawoon as he was turning to go shower. She was still smiling gently, but was it his imagination that the corners of her mouth seemed to tremble?

“Yes.”

Dawoon answered truthfully.

“…I see.”

His mother’s response came a beat late. To Dawoon, it was just an ordinary after-school conversation with his mother.

However, that night, his mother went alone to meet his father at the company, without taking a chauffeur, and for some reason, his father, who was supposed to go on a business trip, rode with his mother, and they died in an accident when the car slid on the wet road.

“It seems the madam suspected the vice chairman of having an affair.”

“That new secretary? I thought something was fishy.”

“To have an affair when he had such a beautiful wife… Sigh, people these days…”

When he heard the company people talking at the funeral, his heart sank. The woman in his father’s car was indeed a secretary, but he never imagined she might be his father’s mistress.

“A woman’s intuition is amazing. I wonder how she knew.”

They said his father had planned to go on a secret trip with that secretary, but it was thwarted when his mother barged into the company that day. It seemed the employees found out because his mother caused a scene at the company. They also said the secretary left behind would now have a hard time working at the company.

The face of the woman sitting in his father’s car flashed before his eyes. The image of them sitting together in the back seat, laughing and chatting…

Should he not have told his mother? If he hadn’t, would she not have suspected his father? Then would she not have gone to the company? If so, would neither his father nor his mother have had the accident?

Ever since hearing the employees’ conversation, these thoughts wouldn’t leave his mind. His heart had been pounding since then. If his parents had died because of him, because of what he said, it was all his fault.

If only he had kept his mouth shut, nothing would have happened.

“It’s because of you. It’s all your fault.”

“Jeong Dawoon! This is what you’ve done!”

His mother’s and father’s voices alternately rang loudly in his ears. Their stern voices scolding him made him feel as if someone was choking him, his breath suddenly cut off.

No. I didn’t mean to…

His eyes stung. It would be better if tears just poured out, but they only throbbed painfully. He was in so much agony that he just wanted someone to do something about it.

“Young master, young master!”

His eyes snapped open at the force shaking his shoulder. After blinking a few times at the unfamiliar ceiling, he realized he was in the funeral hall.

“Are you alright? You were sweating as if you had sleep paralysis…”

The butler who took care of the mansion was looking down at Dawoon with a worried face. Dawoon slowly nodded. He wanted to answer that he was fine, but his mouth was so dry that he felt a burning thirst in the back of his throat and couldn’t make a sound. Noticing his condition, the butler handed him a bottle of water.

Only after taking a few sips of water did he feel a bit better.

“What about Haram…?”

Belatedly remembering Haram, he panicked, but the butler gestured to the side with his eyes. Haram was sleeping next to Dawoon. Though his eyes were swollen from crying, he seemed to be in a deep sleep, breathing evenly.

When had he fallen asleep? Hayun had come into the room and hugged both Haram and Dawoon, patting their backs. He had repeatedly said it would be okay, that he would protect them from now on. Something that had been deeply suppressed seemed to loosen at his kind voice and warm touch. It seemed he had drifted off to sleep then.

“It’s understandable to reach your limit when you haven’t slept properly for days.”

The butler said, looking closely at Dawoon’s face. Feeling a bit embarrassed that his thoughts might be showing on his face, Dawoon asked,

“Where’s my brother?”

“He went to see the chairman for a moment. It’s late now, so there are no visitors. You can sleep more if you want.”

At the butler’s words, Dawoon checked the time to find it was past 3 AM. Indeed, at this hour, there wouldn’t be any mourners.

My brother needs rest more than I do…

Since the day of the accident when they rushed to the emergency room, Dawoon hadn’t seen Hayun sleeping. Yet he was playing the role of chief mourner without a single lapse.

“If you feel you can’t go back to sleep, would you like to go out for some fresh air?”

The butler pointed to the window. The relentless rain seemed to have stopped. Seeing that the rain had stopped made Dawoon want to feel the outside air.

“Could you please look after Haram for a bit?”

The butler smiled reassuringly at Dawoon’s request.

***

In the VIP room of the hospital. Jeong Tae-seong was sitting on the living room sofa facing Hayun.

“I said we’d talk after the funeral.”

Jeong Tae-seong spoke first. It was Hayun who had stopped him as he was about to leave, asking for a moment of his time.

“I have a favor to ask.”

“A favor, is it.”

Jeong Tae-seong’s cold gaze fell on Hayun’s face.