She Wants to Divorce Me

Crying and yielding could no longer solve the problem. How could Ji Yaoguang not know how deep the rift between her and Chang Yu had become? Accumulated emotions always need an outlet; she sat alone on the floor, alternating between laughter and tears. She still remembered the year she first met Chang Yu, when they were both freshmen with dreams. The school wasn’t short of beautiful people, but she was still attracted to that person in military training camouflage as they brushed shoulders. If love at first sight is based on appearance, then as her understanding deepened, the last of those fanciful thoughts in her mind disappeared. She didn’t love that beautiful face; she loved Chang Yu’s soul.

Chang Yu, hailed as a goddess from the moment she entered school, naturally had countless suitors, including some extraordinarily talented individuals. And Ji Yaoguang back then? Her vibrant exuberance ultimately turned into hesitation and shyness when facing Chang Yu. The anxiety during confession, the ecstasy of holding hands and embracing, the heartache after arguments—she remembered each step so clearly, and her heart was filled with self-loathing. How wonderful Chang Yu was, why had she let her slip away into time, never to be found again?

If all she could do was cry, then she wouldn’t be Ji Yaoguang. After venting her emotions, along with three years of regret, she rubbed her swollen eyes and looked at her haggard reflection in the mirror, silently encouraging herself. She didn’t believe Chang Yu truly didn’t care anymore. Even if she had lost her memory and forgotten everything, if Ji Yaoguang was determined, couldn’t she pursue her again?

When Ji Kaiyang called, Ji Yaoguang was eating. The dining table for one carried a hint of sadness, each grain of rice swallowed with sharp pain.

“Yao Yao, when are you going to bring Yu’er back for a visit? Don’t forget about family while you two are being lovey-dovey out there.” The tone clearly indicated it was a message from their parents, not something Ji Kaiyang would typically say. Those two elders usually only cared about their own happiness, traveling the world, leaving the company for Ji Kaiyang to manage. How could they have time to worry about the younger generation? They must have seen some news. Ji Yaoguang’s smile carried a hint of bitterness as she sighed and asked, “Brother, have you seen the news online?”

Ji Kaiyang on the other end was silent for a moment before replying, “Yes, you and Yu’er—”

“Don’t worry about this. I’ll handle it myself. We won’t divorce. I won’t possibly divorce Chang Yu,” Ji Yaoguang said firmly. In her memory, after divorcing Chang Yu, her family hadn’t said much to her, but they were undoubtedly heartbroken. They extremely liked Chang Yu, sometimes seeming as if Chang Yu was their own daughter, while Ji Yaoguang was at the bottom of the family hierarchy, like an adopted child.

“Of course you’ll handle your own affairs. Did you expect us to go talk to Yu’er?” Hearing Ji Yaoguang’s words, Ji Kaiyang immediately responded, “It must be your fault. You better apologize properly to Yu’er, or don’t come home for New Year’s.”

“Brother, you—” Before Ji Yaoguang could finish, all she heard was the busy tone.

Suddenly returning to three years ago hadn’t brought Ji Yaoguang much. Many things had already changed, not following the path in Ji Yaoguang’s memory, such as the film “The Treacherous Courtier.” At that time, it was still directed by Li Ou, but the lead wasn’t Chang Yu, but another rising star in the industry. But none of this mattered anymore. For Ji Yaoguang, she only needed Chang Yu, only cared about Chang Yu. She didn’t know which was the dream, but she was willing to continue on this path.

“We are fine,” Ji Yaoguang posted on her Weibo account. As for what others thought, she couldn’t control that. One phone call after another, either from concerned friends and family or industry acquaintances probing, Ji Yaoguang grew impatient. Dealing with this left her mentally and physically exhausted, but sometimes she had no choice but to maintain relationships with others.

A text message flashed: “Come out for a drink. Meet at the usual place.” Ji Yaoguang didn’t have many friends, and her closest was her childhood friend, Bian Yuting. This young lady, instead of staying in her family’s company, had plunged into the entertainment industry as a manager. In her words, wherever there were handsome men and beautiful women, there was Bian Yuting. While other managers had to curry favor with popular celebrities, Bian Yuting never seemed to do a manager’s work, yet had a queue of people wanting to be under her. “Damned capitalism,” Ji Yaoguang had once joked, to which Bian Yuting had casually replied, “Why don’t you rely on your family then? Why work so hard? You could have avoided years of struggle.”

The place Bian Yuting mentioned was an old-fashioned bar, located in a bustling corner. It was rarely visited during the day, but at night it was a sea of lights, permeated with an ambiguous, romantic alcoholic atmosphere. At this juncture, Ji Yaoguang didn’t dare to appear openly on the streets. Wearing sunglasses and wrapped in a scarf, she bundled herself up tightly, sneaking into the bar like a thief, finding Bian Yuting swirling a glass of wine in a private room.

“I said, why did you have to choose this line of work? It’s such a hassle just to go out,” seeing Ji Yaoguang enter, Bian Yuting flipped her hair and rolled her eyes, continuing, “You said you wanted to be a professor when you were young, but now? Better leave the industry and stay safe. It’s not like you’re going to produce anything good anyway.” Bian Yuting spoke bluntly to others and was even more merciless to her best friend, not afraid of stabbing Ji Yaoguang’s already bleeding heart.

Knowing her childhood friend’s temperament well, Ji Yaoguang retorted irritably, “Aren’t you the same?”

Bian Yuting shook her head, smiling coquettishly, “How can we be the same? I’m not like you, losing your wife in this circle.”

Ji Yaoguang didn’t respond, her breath catching slightly. Back then, she and Chang Yu had signed the divorce agreement with lightning speed, leaving no time for other friends to comfort or advise. In fact, when she received the text message, Ji Yaoguang had vaguely guessed why Bian Yuting wanted to meet. From dating Chang Yu to marriage, this friend had watched the whole journey. She had never explicitly expressed her like or dislike for Chang Yu, but from certain things, one could see she was quite satisfied with Chang Yu. Even though Chang Yu was cold, she seemed to have a kind of addictive charm.

Seeing Ji Yaoguang fall silent, Bian Yuting put away her smile, her gaze showing a trace of helplessness, “Your usual bickering can be seen as little spices in life, but what’s going on this time? I heard it’s escalated to lawyers coming to prepare for divorce? It wasn’t easy to get here step by step, do you really want to give up? This isn’t child’s play, you two need to think it through.”

“I’ve thought it through very clearly,” Ji Yaoguang said with a bitter smile, “I don’t want a divorce, and I won’t divorce Chang Yu, but this time she’s very determined. It’s all my fault.”

“What’s the use of knowing you’re wrong? You need to take action!” Seeing Ji Yaoguang’s state, Bian Yuting felt both angry and anxious. She stood up abruptly, saying as if disappointed, “Go win her back! How good is Chang Yu? She’s excellent in every aspect. Do you want to watch her fall into someone else’s arms?”

Bian Yuting’s words instantly brought back Ji Yaoguang’s memories. She saw Chang Yu intimately embracing another person. She couldn’t see that person’s face clearly, but she couldn’t forget the joy and happiness emanating from that person, felt even by her standing far away in the crowd. Perhaps Chang Yu could live a better, happier life after leaving, but Ji Yaoguang was unwilling to let go. The human heart is ultimately selfish. “I can’t bear that situation,” Ji Yaoguang shook her head, saying to Bian Yuting and to herself, “I will wait for her to change her mind, wait for her to return to my side.”

“I was afraid you’d act impulsively and sign that agreement,” Bian Yuting sighed in relief. Young as she was, she acted like an old mother hen, worrying endlessly about her friend. Crossing her arms, looking at Ji Yaoguang’s determined gaze, she casually asked, “How do you plan to win her back?”

Ji Yaoguang frowned, suddenly staring at Bian Yuting’s face, and slowly said, “I might need your help with this.”

“If I knew how to pursue someone, would I still be single?” Before Ji Yaoguang could finish, Bian Yuting snorted. She was used to others chasing after her; when had this young lady ever needed to coax someone herself?

Ji Yaoguang found it a bit amusing and glared at Bian Yuting, “What are you thinking?” After a pause, she continued, “Chang Yu has moved out. Of course, I don’t dare to go to her and annoy her, but I can’t keep not seeing her either. I heard she recently accepted a role in ‘The Treacherous Courtier’. Sister Su said the casting is already settled, but I want to join the production.”

Bian Yuting nodded and smiled, “That’s simple. If Su Ci can’t handle it, I’ll go talk to them myself. What role do you want? If Chang Yu has accepted, she’s the female lead. How about the second female lead for you?”

Ji Yaoguang imagined herself on set, with the ill-tempered Director Li Ou furiously yelling. She shuddered and quickly waved her hand, “It’s fine if it’s an ordinary person, but with Director Li Ou’s requirements, I’d better not burden the production. I can’t ruin Chang Yu’s starring film. Just find me an unimportant role, but one that can make my presence felt in front of Chang Yu.”

“Look at you,” Bian Yuting glared at Ji Yaoguang with disdain.