LIGHTNOVELWORLD Chapter 11: chapter 11 -Reason
Rishitha stumbled to her knees, the cold tip of Erin's sword brushing against her neck. Her breath hitched, her pulse hammering against her temples. Every instinct told her to look away, to avert her gaze from the merciless steel gleaming under the dim light of the cave.
But something deeper within her—the same force that had driven her to survive this long—demanded she meet his eyes.
Erin's voice cut through the silence, sharp and unyielding. "Why do you always close your eyes in dangerous situations?"
Her lips parted, but no words came. She couldn't answer—not because she didn't know, but because admitting it out loud felt like surrender.
Erin's cold expression didn't waver. He leaned closer, his blade steady. "Look. Look at the blade."
She flinched, and his gaze hardened.
"If you flinch or close your eyes in a fight," he said, his voice like ice, "you're already dead."
With a sharp motion, he pulled the blade away from her throat and stabbed it into the dirt beside her. The metallic clang reverberated through the cave, as if to punctuate his point.
"You need to be brave," he continued, his tone carrying an edge of frustration. "Don't be easily agitated. Don't let anything take you aback. If you want to survive, if you want to protect anyone, you can't let fear control you."
Her fists clenched against the rough cave floor, her nails digging into her palms hard enough to draw blood.
"Become a bastard," Erin said, his voice lowering, almost growling. "A beast who doesn't know the meaning of death. That's how you fight. That's the heart of a beast."
The words struck her harder than his blade ever could.
The heart of a beast? she thought bitterly. A beast who doesn't know death? Is that what it takes to survive? To protect the people I care about?
Her body trembled, but she couldn't tell if it was from exhaustion or the storm of emotions raging inside her.
Am I afraid of death?
The question gnawed at her, even as she forced herself to stand. Her legs shook, and her vision blurred at the edges, but she planted her feet firmly beneath her.
She wasn't afraid of dying. That much she knew. If anything, death had always felt like an escape—a peaceful ending to a life full of rejection, pain, and betrayal.
Her voice was barely a whisper, but the cavern amplified the sound. "Why does everything I try to do go wrong?"
The words slipped out before she could stop them, carrying with them the weight of years of heartache.
"Why do the people I trust always leave me behind?" she continued, her voice cracking. "Why do I keep hoping that the next time will be different?"
She didn't know if she was speaking to Erin, herself, or the uncaring void around her. But once the dam had broken, the questions spilled out faster than she could stop them.
Her knees buckled again, but she caught herself, falling into a low crouch. She tilted her head back, staring at the jagged ceiling of the cave.
"Oh God," she murmured, her voice trembling. "If you're out there, if you're listening… help me. Please."
Tears pricked her eyes, but she didn't let them fall. Her voice cracked under the weight of her desperation.
"I want to be strong," she whispered. "I want to protect the people I love. I want to stop being someone everyone can walk over. But… will you help me?"
The silence that followed was deafening.
The cave offered no answers, no divine intervention. There was only the sound of her shallow breathing and the faint hum of Erin's blade as it caught the light.
"Talking to God now?" Erin's voice broke the silence, his tone sharper than the edge of his sword. "Don't waste your breath. No one's coming to save you."
Rishitha's head snapped toward him, her jaw tightening.
"But if you really want to survive," he said, his eyes narrowing, "stop looking for help from anyone else. Stand up and make your own damn miracles."
Her breath caught, his words igniting something deep within her—a small, flickering spark of defiance.
She pushed herself to her feet once more, her knees threatening to buckle but her resolve stronger than before. Her trembling hand gripped her dagger, and she met Erin's gaze with newfound fire.
"I'm not afraid of death," she said, her voice low but steady. "But I don't want to die either. Not when there's so much left to do."
Erin's lips quirked into a faint smirk, but he said nothing.
Rishitha tightened her grip on the dagger, her knuckles white. She wasn't strong yet. She wasn't brave yet. But she was still here, and that had to mean something.
Maybe she didn't need to become a beast who didn't know death. Maybe it was enough to be someone who could face it.
Erin stepped back, giving her space but watching her closely.
"Good," he said finally, his tone softer than before. "Now let's see if you can actually fight like you mean it."
Her heart raced, but she nodded.
The fight wasn't over. Not against the monsters in the cave, and certainly not against the doubts within her.
But for the first time, Rishitha felt like she had a chance.
Am I afraid of death?
Rishitha's mind echoed with the question, louder than the clanging of Erin's sword. Her head bowed, her shoulders trembling. She didn't think she was afraid. Death didn't loom over her as an end to fear—it lingered as a promise of peace.
A release.
The thought wasn't comforting, but it wasn't terrifying either. It just was.
She stared at her hands, raw from gripping her dagger too tightly, and her voice came out in a whisper, barely audible against the oppressive silence of the cave.
"Why do I always fail?"
Her words didn't expect an answer. They hung in the air, heavy with despair and unanswered prayers.
Her thoughts spiraled into a chaotic mess, each one louder and sharper than the last.
Why is every good thing I try to do twisted into something else?
Why do the people I trust turn their backs on me?
Why does everyone abandon me?
Why do I keep hoping, even when it only brings more pain?
Her chest tightened. It felt as though the world itself was bearing down on her, an unseen weight pressing her into the dirt.
"I want to be strong," she muttered, her voice cracking. "But what's the point if everything I do goes wrong?"
Her legs buckled, and she fell to her knees. Her head tilted back, her tear-streaked face turned toward the jagged ceiling of the cave.
"Oh God," she whispered, her voice trembling. "If you're listening… if you're out there… help me."
Her throat tightened, her voice breaking as desperation seeped into her words.
"I've tried. I've tried so hard to be strong, to do the right thing. But no matter what I do, it's never enough. If you're out there… if you can hear me… please. Help me."
Her plea was met with silence.
The oppressive weight of the cave felt heavier now, her own doubts and fears reverberating back at her like a cruel echo.
"Talking to God now?"
Erin's voice shattered the silence, harsh and unyielding.
Rishitha's head snapped toward him, her tearful gaze meeting his.
"Don't waste your breath," he said coldly, his sword resting on his shoulder. "No one's coming to save you. You want help? You want strength? Then stand up and fight for it."
His words hit her like a blow.
"You think this world cares about what you want?" he continued, his tone biting. "It doesn't. It never will. If you want something, you have to take it. If you want to survive, stop waiting for someone else to save you."
Erin's words stung, but they also lit a spark deep within her—a flicker of defiance against the overwhelming darkness inside her.
Her trembling hands pressed against the ground, and she pushed herself up slowly, her legs shaky but firm. She wiped her tears with the back of her hand, her fingers tightening around the hilt of her dagger once more.
"I'm not afraid of death," she said, her voice barely above a whisper but steady. "But I'm not ready to die either. Not yet."
Erin tilted his head, watching her with an unreadable expression.
"Good," he said after a moment, his tone softer but no less sharp. "Now let's see if you can fight like you actually mean it
Rishitha's chest heaved with each breath, but the crushing weight on her heart seemed a little lighter now. She wasn't sure if it was Erin's words or her own defiance that had sparked this new resolve, but it didn't matter.
She raised her dagger, her grip firm.
"Maybe the world doesn't care about me," she said, her voice growing stronger. "Maybe no one's coming to save me. But I'm still here. And I'm not done yet."
Erin's lips quirked into the faintest hint of a smirk.
The fight wasn't over—not against the monsters in the cave, and not against the doubts within her.
But this time, Rishitha wasn't fighting to escape.
She was fighting to survive. To protect. To become the person she wanted to be.
Rishitha lifted her head, her tear-streaked face searching the jagged ceiling of the cave as if the heavens were just beyond it. Her voice trembled as it escaped her lips, soft and cracking under the weight of despair.
"Oh God," she whispered, a faint plea against the oppressive silence. "If you're out there… if you're listening… help me."
Her hands trembled as she pressed them against her chest, her heart pounding with the anguish she could no longer contain.
"I've tried," she continued, her voice breaking. "I've tried so hard to be strong. To be good. To protect the people I love. But no matter what I do, it's never enough."
Her breaths came quicker, her chest heaving with the weight of her words.
"Why?" she asked, her tone a mixture of anger and pain. "Why do things always go wrong? Why do I keep hoping, only to have that hope crushed?"
Her voice softened, a raw whisper against the emptiness. "Will you help me? Or will you leave me like everyone else has?"
The silence that followed was deafening.
No divine voice spoke back. No light descended from the heavens to offer solace. Only the soft echoes of her desperate words reverberated in the cavern, fading until even they were gone.
The weight of her plea hung in the air, heavy and unanswered.
Her shoulders slumped, her body trembling as if the silence itself was crushing her. The dagger in her hand felt heavier than ever, a symbol of the fight she was starting to question.
Is this all there is?
Erin's voice cut through the silence like a blade, sharp and unyielding.
"Talking to God, huh?" he said, his tone cold but not unkind. "Waste of breath."
Rishitha's head snapped toward him, her tearful gaze meeting his steady one.
"No one's coming to save you," he continued, stepping closer, his sword resting lazily against his shoulder. "You want strength? You want to protect someone? Then stop begging and start fighting."
His words were harsh, but they didn't carry malice. Instead, they held an undeniable truth that stung more than any insult ever could.
"You think the world cares about what you want?" he asked, his voice low. "It doesn't. It never will. If you want something, take it. If you want to survive, stop waiting for someone else to do it for you."
Rishitha's fists clenched, her nails digging into her palms. The weight in her chest didn't disappear, but Erin's words lit a small flame within her—a flicker of defiance against the overwhelming darkness.
She pushed herself to her feet, her legs trembling but steady.
"I don't need saving," she said, her voice quiet but firm.
Erin raised an eyebrow, watching as she wiped the tears from her face and tightened her grip on her dagger.
"I don't need anyone to save me," she repeated, louder this time. "I just need to keep moving forward. No matter what."
A faint smirk tugged at the corner of Erin's lips.
"Good," he said simply, turning away and readying his blade. "Now let's see if you can fight like you actually mean it."
Rishitha took a deep breath, the heaviness in her chest easing just slightly. The silence in the cave still loomed, but it no longer felt suffocating.
She wasn't sure if her plea had reached anyone—or anything—but it didn't matter.
She would fight. Not because she was fearless. Not because she was strong.
But because she refused to give up.