Chapter : Sin (4)
"Such a passionate moment, huh? You two really make a great pair!"
The voice echoed through the room, cold and mocking. Startled, I whipped around, my body tense, ready for whatever was coming next.
It wasn't Orga's gang, but a tall man, looming with an air of confidence that made my blood run cold. Behind him, his underlings stood in formation, eyes fixed on me with malicious intent.
"What's going on?" I thought, my mind racing to comprehend the situation. My vision blurred with confusion and disbelief.
"You're something, aren't you? Taking down all my men by yourself…" The man sneered, his voice dripping with contempt. "But sadly, we don't need you."
He raised a hand, and in an instant, his men surged forward, rushing me with the relentlessness of a tidal wave.
Too many. Far too many.
There was no escape. No way to fight back against such overwhelming numbers. They swarmed me, grabbing hold of my limbs, pinning me down with brutal force.
Their fists pummeled my chest, stomach, and head—each blow a reminder of how insignificant I was in this moment. My body screamed in agony, but I didn't give them the satisfaction of a sound.
I remained silent, my breath ragged but controlled.
I was used to pain. To being beaten. To being crushed beneath the weight of the world. I had endured worse. And I wouldn't scream. Not for them. Not for anyone.
"Shirou!!!"
Her scream shattered the darkness, a raw cry that cut through my numbness. It echoed in my ears, reverberating through every fiber of my being. It was the spark that lit the fuse deep inside me.
They had taken her.
Her warmth, her smile, her softness… All of it had been ripped from me.
They dared to take everything I had left.
I couldn't accept it. I wouldn't.
The image of my family—each one slipping away from me, one by one—flashed before my eyes.
The pain of their absence surged back, ripping open old wounds, dredging up a flood of rage I could no longer contain.
The suffocating feeling of being alive yet dead at the same time, the ache of being tethered to this world with nothing left to hold onto—it all came rushing back.
And now, they dared take her. My only remaining tether to this cruel existence.
"No… I won't accept an ending like this!"
I screamed, but it wasn't the scream of a man.
It was the roar of something primal, something savage.
I thrashed against them with every ounce of strength I could summon, my body convulsing with fury.
I had to kill them.
Tear them apart.
Make them suffer as I had suffered.
They had taken her from me, and they would pay.
The deep crimson energy—an almost forgotten part of me—flared to life inside my chest, spreading like wildfire through my veins.
It was warm, a comfort, a fire that burned with a vicious hunger.
I had ignored it, suppressed it deep within me, burying it beneath layers of control and restraint.
But now… now it surged to the surface.
This was who I truly was.
I could feel the raw power coursing through me, transforming my very being.
It wasn't just physical strength.
It was a force of nature—something darker, something ancient.
My body trembled as it adapted to this new power, my senses heightening, my emotions boiling over.
I was no longer Shirou. I was something else.
A savage beast, driven by rage and a desperate need to reclaim what was mine.
The world around me blurred into chaos, the faces of the men surrounding me becoming nothing but fleeting shadows, insignificant in the face of what I was becoming.
I would rip them apart, piece by piece. Nothing would stop me from getting her back.
A primal scream tore itself from my throat, feral and unhinged.
Saliva dripped from my lips as my eyes blazed with the fire of madness.
This was it.
There was no turning back now.
The time for restraint had passed.
ECLIPSE SOUL—AWAKEN.
SYSTEM CORE—RELEASE.
The rest of what happened is a blur.
Everything simply turned red.
The world around me, once filled with noise and chaos, fell into a deadly silence as my mind drowned in bloodlust.
A fire burned deep within me, scorching my every thought, turning my every movement into a furious, unstoppable force.
There was nothing but the red—so warm, so beautiful.
It consumed me, like a painter lost in his masterpiece, the canvas of reality slowly morphing under the violent strokes of my rage.
Blood.
Flesh.
The colors melded together.
The slashes, the strikes—they all blended into a single, unrelenting rhythm.
With every swing of my hand, the world became redder, like a tide of crimson swallowing up everything in its path.
I was no longer a person, no longer a soul in a broken body—I was something else, something driven solely by destruction.
A monster.
A force of nature.
This madness felt familiar, like something I had known my entire life but had only now unleashed.
Each swing, each strike, it was like an artist reveling in the creation of his art.
The more I killed, the more I became absorbed in it.
The red was my vision, my reality, my truth. It was all I could see, all I could feel.
And I didn't want to wake up.
I didn't want it to end.
After all, what was a world without her?
What was the point of existence without her warmth, her smile, her voice?
A dull painting, an empty canvas.
And a dull painting has no value.
I would rather burn it all to feel the heat, to feel the life in the flames. I didn't care about the world.
If it had treated me cruelly, then I would burn it down. If I couldn't have happiness, no one else would be allowed to.
I was selfish.
So deeply selfish.
A person no one could love, a person who shouldn't even exist in the first place.
But there was one person, one person who would always love this monster.
As long as I had her, I would exist.
The rest?
They didn't matter.
They could all die for all I cared.
It was simple.
All I needed was her.
Everyone else could burn.
"…"
"Wake up, Shirou..."
A warm voice, gentle and familiar, reached through the haze of madness.
The heat of the blood-red world around me seemed to cool, and reality began to creep back in.
That voice—her voice—it had the power to pull me from the abyss. Those familiar hands touched my face, grounding me. The rage, the bloodlust, the madness—it all began to recede.
My true self, the one I had long suppressed, slowly sank back into the shadows, waiting for another day.
I had taken her back. She was in my grasp again. I could feel her small hand, her warmth, the softness of her skin as I gripped it. It was everything I had wanted. The anger, the destruction, it had all been worth it.
But as I looked down, my vision cleared, and my world came crashing down in an instant.
The knife I had been holding—the one I had used to carve through everything in my path—was lodged deep into her chest.
Blood poured from the wound, splattering across me, painting me in a crimson I had already become so familiar with. But this time, it wasn't the world I was destroying. It was her.
"Sakura…?" My voice barely escaped. It was weak, choked, filled with disbelief. I didn't understand. This couldn't be real. It couldn't.
She didn't respond. Her face, once flushed with life, was now pale—pale and lifeless.
Her beautiful eyes, the ones that had always looked at me with warmth, with hope, were now empty. They were glassy, devoid of the spark that had once lit them.
The light that had once filled her soul was gone.
She was gone.
I had done this.
I had taken her from me.
I had destroyed the only thing that mattered.
The knife slipped from my trembling hand, clattering to the ground as if mocking my brokenness.
I could hear my own heartbeat—slow, heavy, almost like a death rattle in my ears. The world spun around me, everything sinking into the darkness.
Her blood pooled around her, around me, around the remnants of my mind, and it was all I could see. I could still feel her warmth in my hands, but it was fading.
I've killed her.
The realization hit me like a wrecking ball, and the sound of my own thoughts crumbled everything inside me.
I had failed her.
I had promised to protect her, to keep her safe.
But I had failed.
I had taken everything from her, just like I had taken everything from myself.
"Sakura… no… no, no, no!" I shouted, my voice breaking. But there was nothing. No response. No breath. No heartbeat.
Just a hollow silence, the only sound my own sorrow. My own regret.
Her body lay motionless in my arms, and I was left with nothing but the consequences of my actions.
The world seemed to fall away. The blood was still warm on my skin, but it felt like it belonged to someone else now. I couldn't even begin to comprehend what I had done.
I had ended her life in the name of madness, of obsession. I had crushed the only thing worth living for.
And now, there was nothing left. Only the cold, empty void that would consume me forever.
At this point, guilt descended upon me like a monstrous weight, dragging me into an abyss of despair.
The mass of flesh—the countless lives I had extinguished—seemed to come alive in my mind, writhing, screaming. Their faces twisted in agony, their voices pleading, asking why they had to die.
I could feel their anger, their hatred, their desire for revenge. Their forms shifted, growing monstrous tentacles, reaching out to pull me back, to drag me down with them.
They wanted me to feel what they had felt. They wanted me to die.
But, perhaps death was the only escape. Maybe it was the only way to endure this unbearable pain.
"Just die already... Yeah, I should just die... After all, there's no place for me in this world anymore."
I raised my blood-soaked hand to my face, trying to hide the tears that poured like a river from my eyes. But no matter how much I tried, the tears wouldn't stop.
I realized, in that moment, that I had no reason to live anymore. There was nothing left for me.
With the same knife that had ended so many lives still clutched tightly in my trembling hand, I forced it toward my chest.
The cold steel pressed against my skin, and I hoped—no, begged—for the end. The blood poured out, soaking me even more, but I didn't die.
Why? Why was I still here? Why couldn't I die?
My trembling hand, it was shaking with fear, with doubt. It lacked the courage to take my life.
It couldn't bring itself to end the life that had been given in exchange by the one I loved. She sacrificed herself for me, to wake me up from my madness.
How could I end it now?
How could I take my life when she gave up hers to save me? It was unfair.
So terribly unfair.
"Sakura... you're so... unfair... Why did you have to die?"
I choked on my words, but they felt hollow. Even if I wanted to end it, I couldn't. I couldn't even bring myself to take that final step.
How pathetic.
I had failed at everything. I couldn't live, and now, it seemed I couldn't even die. What kind of person was I? What was the point of my existence?
"No, you really accept defeat, don't you?"
Suddenly, an unfamiliar voice echoed in my mind. It felt almost familiar, like a whisper from some distant part of me, but I couldn't place it.
I didn't care enough to try.
"Yeah, I accept defeat."
I said it without hesitation. Of course, I had nothing left. I had failed. There was nothing for me here. If this were a game, I would have lost. So, why bother trying?
"…So, you've accepted it… Shirou, do you want to continue living?"
The voice seemed to probe further. "Do I want to continue living?" The question seemed absurd.
With all the blood on my hands, with all the pain I had caused, how could I possibly deserve to live?
No.
I didn't want to live anymore.
"Let me die."
Without thinking, I answered. I wanted it to end.
"Too bad, I can't do that."
The voice's reply was matter-of-fact. Why even ask me if you couldn't grant my request?
How stupid. I didn't want to play these games anymore.
"How about we make a deal?" The voice continued, unaffected by my despair.
"I'll erase your memories, take you out of this world, and give you a new life in another world. But in return, at the end of that journey, I want an answer."
"How about it? A deal that sounds pretty good, right?"
I didn't know what to think. It sounded good, but how could it possibly be?
My life had never been beautiful. Even if I went to another world, or to hell, it wouldn't matter.
I would still suffer. Nothing would change. I'd still be cursed to live with this pain.
But at this point, what did I have left to lose?
I didn't care anymore. I couldn't live, I couldn't die. I just wanted the pain to end.
Forget it all, forget everything.
Forget who I was, forget what I'd become.
If I could just erase it all, maybe I could escape this agony.
"Whatever. Do whatever you want."
I had no strength left to resist. I agreed.
"Alright, try to live well in that world."
The voice sounded… sad.
Why? What was it sad about? I didn't understand, and frankly, I didn't care.
It wasn't like it mattered. Nothing mattered anymore.
I couldn't take it. I couldn't bear to live in this broken world. All I wanted was to escape it.
The world around me began to fade. My body glowed with a faint light, flickering like a dying flame.
The darkness surrounding me dissipated, leaving behind nothing but a pool of deep red blood on the cold, unforgiving ground.
Sakura, goodbye. Goodbye, my world. If we ever meet again in the next life, I hope our paths never cross.
I never wanted this.
I wanted to protect you, but in the end, I was the one who hurt you.
I threw away everything to hold your hand again, but this was the bitter end I deserved.
Maybe, from the beginning, I was cursed.
My fate, my existence—it was something no one should have been involved with.
I should have died alone, quietly.
If I had died in my mother's womb, maybe everyone would have been happier.
But no.
I always survive.
Well, regretting it now is pointless.
It's too late.
Forget it, Shirou. Don't remember.
Don't feel. It will only hurt.
It's all over.
A bitter end.