Star Trek: Voyager and the Descendants of Q

Passing through the first barrier, the chaotic mana that had managed to worm its way past the other layered barriers reacted immediately, swarming my senses. It was on par with the Anomaly Storm from our time in 'The 100', calling to me like a siren's call with promises of more power if only I let it in. Instinctively, I released wisps of my Chaos Storm which greedily absorbed the foreign Chaos mana. 

I waited for a few moments, draining away all of the buildup and trying to tell if there was any effect on me. After emptying the small gap between barriers and ten minutes or so of self-examination, finding no difference, I took two steps forward and crossed the next barrier. The difference in intensity was like the difference between a candle and the sun, and my thin Chaos Storm cloak was not enough to negate the effects of the chaotic mana this time. 

Power rushed into my body like a drug in my veins. I could feel my body starting to transform into my Dusa form, but I managed to hold it back, determined to control myself and hold onto my trump card as I did not know how many barriers were left. I knew better than to try and suppress the raging Chaos through my body and, instead, I focused on giving it gentle nudges to circulate through my mana pathways as if I was meditating while trying to keep myself grounded in who I was. 

"Katye, Raven, Echo, L'Naan, Filigree... Katye, Raven, Echo, L'Naan, Filigree... Katye, Raven, Echo, L'Naan, Filigree..." I chanted over and over, focusing on the most important things in my life. 

As my mana reserves stretched painfully by the constant influx of energy, I started condensing mana crystals. Typically, it would take over five minutes for me to form a crystal that was about the size of a finger, but the mana around me happily conformed alongside my own, faster than I could manipulate my own. The space around my hands, where I typically formed mana crystals, started to 'rain' tiny, crystalized shards, growing outwards at a slow rate. Before it could get too crazy, the foreign Chaos mana emptied out and all that was left around my feet was a 'puddle' of stormy-gray mana crystals. When the stress on my mind finally eased, I sighed, collected all of the crystals, then sat down to meditate. If crossing one level was such a difference, I did not want to cross another unless I was fully rested.

My mind turned inward as I meditated, observing my Soul Realm. The galaxy backdrop had not changed, but the Dragon that represented my core did. A few scales around its horns and eyes were a seafoam green instead of stormy gray like the rest of its body.

"Not too bad," a deep voice rumbled. "You're absorbing the Chaos quite well for someone so young. You listened to your instincts."

"While you are the Embodiment of Chaos, I know that you mean me no harm," I retorted.

"Well, 'you' are on the same path, and this will speed you up along it."

"So, what are my chances?" I asked.

Dystina, in her Dragon form, chuckled and replied, "I'd give you an eighty percent chance of success... for 'this' Shard, but it will only get harder from here."

"Of course," I sighed, knowing that my life was an uphill battle. "I assume that 'we' have gone through this before."

"No. Istar brought the last ten reincarnations before this seal, and I manipulated them into killing themselves as their chances were below twenty-five percent for this one. You're the first that I've allowed to even attempt this test, but fret not, I'll kill you myself if I feel like you are losing control... Sadly, if you do succeed, 'I' will be erased as my seal will be gone."

I chuckled, "What a fucked-up life we have when the failsafe is to kill me, and I'm truly relieved."

"Amusing, no?"

"Not really," I replied dryly. "So, that means you've found a way to weasel out of my five questions."

"Four and a half," she rumbled with a chuckle. "The dreams will still continue, and be honest, you weren't going to use them anyways aside from relationship advice."

"True," I smirked. "Well, if this is our last meeting, fuck you for pulling me into this crap. I can't imagine that I would ever have been as happy if I had stayed in my old life before I learned of this, but I'll still curse you to my dying breath."

"You're welcome, whelp. You have a strong spirit and a big heart. Just remember, Chaos is not about control, it's about direction. Your Will needs to navigate its currents lest you be swept away," Dystina replied.

"I know," I replied with a light sigh as I looked at the ancient Dragon that was my past-self.

I placed a tiny hand on her enormous snout then woke myself up from my meditation. I stood up and flared my Chaos Storm to clean up the zone that I was in as some of the foreign Chaos mana had seeped in while I was resting. After absorbing everything, it condensed around my body, and I stepped through the next barrier.

My head spun with the influx of power, and it was everything that I could do to focus on forming mana crystals before I burst from too much mana. A jumble of memories, thoughts, and emotions were flashing through my mind without any type of connection. I could sense it; the Chaos was wanting to 'rewrite' my past, to change it, to confuse it.

My first instinct was to push the Chaos out of me forcibly, but I also knew that was the worst decision I could make. Instead, I split my mind into two and shielded one as best I could while the other tried to circulate the Chaos through me.

"Katye, Raven, Echo, L'Naan, Filigree... Raven, Katye, Echo, L'Naan, Filigree... Echo, L'Naan, Raven, Katye, Filigree..." I chanted with the mind circulating the Chaos through me and my second recognizing the difference.

Finn dying in Clark's arms, Raven in a jefferies tube with grease across her forehead and a smirk on her lips, waking up on the battlefield against the Disciples, relaxing in my private oasis in Eden... thoughts, memories came and went with different emotions than what I knew happened. Instead of self-hatred, I felt amusement. Instead of love and affection, I felt indifference. Instead of fear and confusion, there was excitement. Instead of feeling peace, a bloodthirsty fury was a part of that scene.

My second mind was able to correct the thoughts and experiences. Untwisting my thinking, it was scary to realize how much Chaos could warp a person. I had seen it in my Heart Demon trial, corrupting everyone around me, but I had been 'safe' from it, so I always saw it from an outside perspective. Finally, I understood the reason for the drastic change in their personalities because everything was constantly changing.

Iseto holding me by the neck changed from feeling hopeless, yet defiant to acceptance and peace. Tom and Harry pestering me about a questline in the Dragon Age holo-novel was no longer amusing, but rather boring and tedious. Echo naked in bed pinned under me, my hand reaches to caress a cheek then grips her throa...

"NO!" I shouted, transforming into my Dusa form.

Immediately, what was left of the foreign Chaos mana in my body submitted to my Will and became fused with my reserves. I looked down at my scaled hands which had a few seafoam green scales around my talons. There was none with more than three, but also a couple of fingers had none.

The pile of mana crystals reached my ankles this time, but I collected them. My mana crystals were great for the mana-based torpedoes, so they would get used in time. I released my transformation then sat down to meditate again. It was quiet this time, and I awakened without anything to note. 

The buildup was stronger than the last section, but it was not surprising and easily handled without needing to rely on my Dusa form. Of course, with how close I came to losing control, I was not going to hold it back when I stepped across the next barrier which looked to be the last as I could see something floating behind the green glow and the ever-shifting colored smoke that somehow seemed to still be gray. I needed to use my full strength from the beginning, or it could be too late to even regret the mistake.

Transforming into my Dusa form and splitting my mind into three, two focused on shielding each other, I stepped through the barrier and into an ocean of Chaos. Crimson lightning rippled around me, reacting to my intrusion of this wild Chaos zone as it rubbed against my Chaos Storm Domain. Unlike before, the energy did not rush into me but rather pulled back like a predator meeting its equal in the jungle, sizing me up and protecting itself.

The Shard had a consciousness of its own, but it was only the most basic of instincts. The desire to live. The desire to grow. The desire to 'change'. That is what my past-self had done when she became the Embodiment of Chaos; she had given Life to Chaos which is what these Shards were. Slightly similar to a Soul-Beast, like Nyka, but with a corruption similar to Borg assimilation, which granted incredible power, though the growth of which couldn't be contained and the chances of losing yourself to the 'chaotic call' would only grow.

"I am the 'Elder'," I growled at the mass of Chaos in front of me, flexing my Domain against it.

It did not respond in words, but rather actions. Feeling me threatening it, it stabbed out, unwilling to surrender. A dart of pure Chaos mana hit me in the chest, dyeing the scales seafoam green as my body absorbed the mana. I did not allow the attack to go unanswered as my stormy gray clouds condensed around my right arm and I threw out a clawed thrust, launching my Chaos Storm like a Dragon clawing prey which grew as it moved.

The 'mass' within the foreign Chaos was slapped to the floor, and I followed the move with an enhanced leg sweep that wrapped around it with my Chaos Storm. There was still foreign Chaos mana outside of the 'mass' surrounding me, but cut-off from the core, it was docile and willing to submit to my storm. I used the extra energy to 'press' against the 'mass', ready to destroy it if necessary.

"This is your last chance. Submit or be consumed," I growled, infusing my Will into my voice, instinctually.

The consciousness of the Shard could understand me despite not speaking. A bit of pride was being snuffed out, I could sense it, but finally, the Shard decided that a partnership was better than Death. Slowly, I absorbed its mana and gently connected myself to it. As a 'child of Chaos', it could not resist the urge to strain my allowances of its behavior and begged to move around me, but I knew that the lump of metallic-like mana would be a problem for me if I ever let my vigilance wane.

Thankfully, I had an idea of how to 'handle' the unruly side of Chaos Shard. For the first time in over ten years, I removed the two artificial fingers on my left hand and encased them around the Chaos core. There was nothing more than my 'fingers' that I was bonded to, enriched with my Will, after so many years of using them as my own limb. The Metal could constrain the Chaotic influence, but it could never be 'fingers' again.

A new sheath settled on my belt, but I accepted it all the same. Removing Chaos from myself, and 'it', was impossible, but that did not mean that other parts of me could not tame the wilder side of myself. The Shard of Chaos became a dagger on my hip, but it could easily transform into more, only needing a slight 'nudge' when I needed it.

"This isn't the last part you'll need, only the first true step. Katye bares thirteen Shards of Order for a reason, reflecting the levels of Godhood, so know more is coming. You've handled this piece, but each will be harder than the last. I believe in you, and the strength that you draw from, but don't relax. Life and Death is just a part of existence, yet never the end. Don't force anything in Istar's Realms, you can argue it back if needed, but you've done what 'I' could not. Whatever 'strength' is remaining in my seal is being infused into you before 'I' am truly gone. Above all, my last words of wisdom are love Katye and the others that you hold dear. They will always be your Rock in the sea of Chaos," Dystina's voice echoed through my mind one last time and then, I could not sense her presence anymore. 

She always kept to the back of my mind, never trying to influence me, or even be noticed by my conscious self except when I needed her... but now, I could feel the hole that she had left. I knew that she was right. I knew that I had to rely on myself to hold back the Chaos within me... but it was still the first time that I truly felt the responsibility on my shoulders. 

There were no more safety nets to catch us. I had bonded with the Shard of Chaos, and Dystina was gone. Death would guarantee the wipe out of Tori's pantheon, along with those I held close, but stifling my growth could be even more dangerous. Katye had thirteen Shards that she had bonded with, so I would likely need to match, if not exceed that number before I was truly done with the mess that was my life.

It was just 'my' Will that kept the Shard of Chaos in line, not completely submitting to me, yet willing to conform as needed. The dagger at my side would do whatever I ask of it, but I instinctively knew that if I was not careful, the Chaos corruption would rear its nasty head. It was a weapon in my arsenal, and powerful, but it was a double-edged sword if I was not careful.

I thumbed the blade, looking it over. A simple leather wrapped iron handle and a thin, one-sided blade that casually fit into my left hand with a reverse grip. I used dozens of weapons to compliment my fighting style, but a reverse gripped knife or sword were more common than any main weapon that I used. Finally, I had a true weapon for myself, but it needed to be used carefully... just like my true power.

The dagger shifted into a long sword with a light wave of my hand. I smirked as it transformed into a long staff in my other hand, needing nothing more than a fleeting thought. Compared to L'Naan and Echo, my Weapon-Force was weaker than them because I had so many that I wielded. If I had a weapon that could transform with a thought, their advantages in a 'true' spar, only using Weapon-Force and chosen weapon, would be gone. I might still be weaker, but I could use far more tricks during the fight.

I sheathed the dagger, unable to truly change its essence as a weapon, but that was influenced by my opinion of it. The space around me crumbled like a sandcastle, and I was floating in space yet again. My connection to Echo suddenly came back in a rush, as I had not noticed its absence, and I was nearly overwhelmed with her concern.

[I've done it. I've bonded with a Shard of Chaos. You should be able to direct Voyager to come pick me up. Just give me directions, and I'll fly towards it.] I sent through our connection.

[You're back! You're okay. You're...]

[Ready to be picked up. I need to be back with you all, and I will fight Janeway for three days off for our entire group. I want to recharge.]

Although Echo's and my acts of 'love' were very different, we had this deep understanding due to the Borg implants. Without words or explanations, she knew I wanted to retreat into the embrace of hers, Katye's, Raven's, and L'Naan's arms... I had done my task, but now it was time to enjoy the reason why I struggled.