Surviving as a Trash Bard in a Game

Is this a story so sensitive that it requires blocking out sound and being mindful of the ears listening?

So much so that you can’t even tell a coachman you know.

‘…What the hell is the Mad King?’

The question floats up. It was a question that would soon be resolved.

“The Mad King is a hero and a psychopath.”

“Huh?”

“As contradictory as it sounds, the Mad King somehow managed to reconcile these two concepts. A hero of the past, and at the same time, the tyrant of the present.”

“What does that have to do with anything? Even if he’s a tyrant, he can’t harm someone passing through the territory of the Empire.”

“The problem is that the Mad King’s personal power is comparable to that of a nation. The Empire doesn’t have the capacity to subdue the rebels right now, they just have to cede some territory and bestow the title of king, which is lower than emperor. In fact, they did.”

“So he’s the Mad ‘King’? A state recognized by the Empire?”

“Yes. They bowed their heads a little to the rebels. The Empire did.”

No, there were still a few things I didn’t understand.

I wasn’t the type to hold back my curiosity, and I didn’t like to keep my mouth shut and create stupid misconceptions.

I opened my mouth without hesitation.

“What does that have to do with us?”

“…That’s.”

“It’s not like the man who is a king is going to come out of the capital and roam around the border, kidnapping citizens to build up his forces. He’s called the Mad King because he’s causing tyranny within the nation he runs. Am I wrong?”

It was quite a long sentence, but there was no way to refute it logically.

There is not much difference if you go straight. Going in a curve will only waste money and travel expenses. My story was correct from start to finish.

Skyler closed his mouth for a moment. Then, he looked at me with hesitant eyes.

–

1. [Interrogate] (Charisma bonus)

2. [Question]

3. [Intimidate] (Strength + Health / 2 bonus)

4. [Charm] (Charm bonus)

–

…Choices.

It’s good timing.

Interrogate.

–

4. [Charm] (Charm bonus)

–

Oh, come on…!

It was the ‘clumsy habit’. It said it would only trigger once a day… are you going to keep triggering it so conveniently like this? Really? Seriously?

‘I’m going crazy.’

Certainly, before, as soon as the choice appeared, it triggered as if it had been waiting, and I cursed at the adventurer who was flirting with me. I hope it doesn’t succeed this time?

–

[Charm – 20 or more]

[10 + 5]

The opponent is someone who has reached a certain level in the past.

A mage who has awakened to one side.

Has very high willpower.

A member of ‘Those Who Chase the Stars’.

[Failed!]

–

Wait, 20?

Why?

He’s just a kid.

No matter how experienced an adventurer he is… even if he’s a silver tag adventurer… these numbers don’t make sense?

‘A certain level, very high willpower, one side, those who chase the stars…?’

The judgment failed, but I was able to glimpse some of the information he was hiding through the status window.

I had chosen to provoke Skyler before.

I think it was 15 at the time. Why?

‘Is it the difference between provocation and charm?’

No matter how high the mental age is, 20 almost never comes out. Because the difficulty means ‘almost impossible’.

A kid with a lot of secrets.

After a while, the status window started narrating.

–

You have realized that you need big breasts to seduce such a kid.

Unfortunately, you don’t have big breasts, nor a heart that can embrace everything.

Not only did you fail to charm, but you’re also at risk of being discovered.

It’s all because of your poor heart.

–

‘…Hey.’

The status window’s narration felt like it was subtly dissing me. No, it was definitely dissing me.

This guy disappears only when needed, displays strange choices, and activates penalties at inconvenient times, isn’t it all intentional?

Skyler suddenly sharpened his eyes.

“What did you just do?”

“It was a mistake.”

“…It was a pretty advanced mental attack to be a mistake.”

“It’s really a misunderstanding.”

“The sound barrier is still up, so if you’re going to confess, now’s the time to do it.”

“…”

“Everyone has things they want to hide. But, there are things that are good to talk about in advance when traveling together. Especially… about those curses and blessings on your body.”

The topic of conversation started to shift in a direction unfavorable to me. I lost the initiative.

More than that… he read the charm?

Are the choices a kind of magic?

‘Headache.’

My train of thought stopped as if it were blocked somewhere, and it wouldn’t flow. I felt like my intelligence was decreasing.

Even if the flow is blocked, the head does not harden. I can still think. What is the best choice I can make now? I ask myself. The answer comes quickly.

Even if my intelligence is lowered, my mouth can still move.

This is why I chose eloquence.

“One for one.”

“Yes?”

“If you demand honesty from me, I will demand honesty from you. That’s only fair, right?”

“Fine. After I ask you, you can ask me one question. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. So, what’s the question?”

“Tell me about the curses you have. Especially that strange curse that activates once a day.”

Curse.

What curse?

It’s not like I have no idea.

‘He’s probably talking about the negative traits I chose. He must have noticed the narcolepsy since it activates once a day.’

Is there a scroll that can identify negative traits?

When I collapsed from narcolepsy, he would have had plenty of time to observe me. It’s not a situation where I can lie. Should I just be honest?

“I get scared easily, become sickly, no matter how much I eat, nutrients are not stored in my body, I make mistakes at important moments, I get tired after walking a little, I bleed even from a slight scratch, and I fall asleep once a day.”

“That’s… a lot. I knew there were many, but I didn’t know it was this much.”

“How is it?”

“The difficulty of removal is almost impossible, the materials are difficult to obtain, and yet it doesn’t really harm the person… It’s a strange combination. It seems intentional.”

“Removal?”

“All curses can be removed. It just requires the right materials and preparations. If the situation is not good, you can offset it by adding an opposing curse. Is what’s engraved on your body permanent? Or temporary?”

“It’s probably permanent.”

“Then it can’t be undone.”

“Why?”

“Permanent curses require an enormous price. Curses are meant to kill the opponent quickly or make them sick and die, not to ‘leave them alive for a long time’. Besides, there are few casters who would waste such valuable things on someone they want to torment.”

So it can’t be undone. But, can it be offset?

‘Honestly, I didn’t expect much.’

When creating the character, I tried not to include traits that were impossible to deal with, and I thought I only included ones that wouldn’t affect my life.

‘Thinking about it now, it was a stupid thing to do. Forget about concepts, a character built for performance to clear the first playthrough is the standard.’

Still, it’s a relief that I included some useful positive traits.

‘Since I have the traveler trait, there must be a moment to use it during the adventure, right?’

It’s not that a moment to use it will come – it has to come. If there’s no opportunity to use it, I’ll die of frustration. I’ll really die!

“…Ah.”

“What?”

“I forgot.”

“Yes?”

“It’s my turn to ask a question. Right?”

“…Yes.”

Skyler waited for my words.

Honestly, it was the first time I’d seen him so nervous.

He finally looked like a kid, and I almost laughed. Was it because I felt relieved? Or was it because I saw that he was human, just like me? I don’t know.

Anyway, let’s choose a question. A question that will let me know Skyler’s intentions as much as possible.

“You could be lying.”

“I can’t.”

“Huh?”

“I’m… a mage, after all. Even if I’m a half-baked mage who can’t use magic and only uses scrolls, I’m still a mage.”

“Mages can’t lie?”

“To be precise, we must keep our deals and contracts. Magic is only granted to those who accurately state their weight on the scales.”

“That’s complicated.”

“Don’t frown at such a simple metaphor. You look stupid.”

“…Ugh.”

So, since I didn’t lie, he can’t lie either?

‘Complicated.’

I’ve confirmed that Skyler will answer my question truthfully, and now it’s time for the real question. What question should I ask?

There are many things I’m curious about, but I can only ask one.

Let’s organize a few points of doubt first.

The important thing is…

Why is Skyler traveling with me? Why did he help me? How much does he know about me? What does he want from me?

‘And, why is he trying to avoid the Mad King?’

To be honest, I want to ask about the meaning of the words that appeared after failing the charm choice earlier.

But if someone who doesn’t even know the basic common sense of this world suddenly asks such a question, it will only arouse suspicion.

Okay. I’ve decided.

“Why are you trying to avoid the Mad King? I mean… I’m curious why you’re trying to go around to the capital without approaching the Mad King’s land.”

“Ah.”

“Huh?”

“Have you been pretending to be a fool all this time?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Someone who frowns and says their head hurts at a simple metaphor can’t possibly ask such a pointed question.”

“You’re too much.”

“Hah… Anyway, I’ll answer since you asked. My answer is—”

Skyler was about to answer.

And, the barrier breaks.

Transparent glass fragments scatter in all directions, and the sounds from outside pour in like thunder and lightning. It was a shock made of pure information.

The rattling carriage stops in the middle.

It’s not like it suddenly stopped because it hit a rock or a wheel fell off. The coachman intentionally stopped the horses.

‘…I’m uneasy.’

The air feels sharp. It was so sharp that it felt like my skin would be pricked if I moved even slightly. I can feel several presences outside.

Skyler and I looked outside, filled with tension.