Surviving as a Useless Bard in a Game

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The dawn air is cold.

It wasn’t particularly surprising.

There’s a hole in the wall, and the ceiling is neatly carved out, showing me an awkward night sky like a poorly edited photo.

It looks like a beginner at Photoshop accidentally pasted the entire landscape onto the ceiling without cropping the background.

It’s amazing that I’ve survived among these crazy people who slice through the bricks of buildings and city walls like tofu.

No, it’s not me who survived… it’s the me that has already changed.

It’s vague.

Am I losing my mind?

I found myself resenting my brain for worrying about things I wouldn’t normally consider.

My head was still throbbing from the aftereffects, and my condition hadn’t returned.

I stared blankly at the sky.

My body shivered, and I felt the cold.

“…Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“……”

“No, maybe not okay. Yeah. I don’t think I’m okay.”

He definitely caught onto my unusual speech pattern.

He was sensitive and observant, after all.

My body trembled.

It wasn’t my intention.

I still hated showing weakness to others. I thought that kind of behavior revealed vulnerabilities in society.

Even though I knew this world wasn’t the cold, mechanical one I used to live in, I still saw it as dangerous.

Ah, it’s true that it’s dangerous.

Normally, you don’t get attacked by bandits on the highway.

You do get charged tolls by legal thieves known as the government, though.

‘…With thoughts like this, it’s clear I’m not in a normal state. I should go to sleep soon.’

Skylar’s hand reached toward me.

“What’s up?”

“Hold on.”

“…Can you explain a bit?”

“I’m releasing magic power. Hold my hand.”

“Got it.”

I asked him for an explanation, but he didn’t provide one.

He must have deemed it unnecessary to explain.

So I accepted it. Without any doubt.

Skylar was a person I could rely on and trust.

There was no need for more unnecessary conversation.

Suddenly, I wondered what he needed magic for. I was a bit curious.

Magic power flowed from my fingertips.

A sense of weakness.

It felt strange.

Power gradually faded away, and the sensation in one arm slowly became dull.

I must have slightly failed at controlling it.

It was a basic mistake.

Why was I making a mistake I’d never made after playing countless times and crafting melodies?

I couldn’t figure out why.

Maybe it was a ridiculous coincidence, or maybe it was the situation I wanted.

I entrusted myself to another.

I relied on them.

And, I gave up.

“Selina.”

He whispered my name.

Well, it didn’t sound like a whisper, but it felt that way. So I decided to think of it like that.

Who would argue with me on that?

“Yeah.”

“…You can stop holding my hand now.”

“Okay.”

I slowly eased my grip on his hand.

After all, even if I put all my strength into it, I was still weak, so it didn’t take long to release my grip.

Skylar let the magic power he received flow around his heart.

The magic flowed.

It spun, and spun, and spun some more, eventually forming a circle.

The scroll activated.

It was a phenomenon I had seen time and again.

Skylar’s figure gradually began to change. He started to grow. Though it was a bit ambiguous to call it growth, still… he was getting bigger.

“Suddenly?”

“…I can activate it multiple times. It disappears when all the magic power runs out, and reappears when it’s charged.”

“That’s convenient.”

“Very convenient.”

The gift left behind by the me of another world was turning out to be quite helpful.

Replacing a heart, huh.

It stung a little.

Was I feeling jealousy because I wasn’t the one to make his heart beat again, or was it just the sickness making my chest hurt?

Having denied my feelings multiple times so far, I found it difficult to do so now.

It was because my head hurt.

Yeah. It’s all about the head.

Damn intelligence.

“So why the sudden change?”

“Get up.”

“Fine. But answer me first.”

I slowly got to my feet.

Suddenly, my head began to spin.

I didn’t let it show.

Is this anemia?

Orthostatic hypotension?

I’d heard of it, but this was my first experience. I hadn’t been lying down that long. Why was this happening?

“Okay, you’re up.”

“I have something to say.”

“Really? I have something to say too.”

“Do you want to go first?”

“Yeah.”

Usually, regular humans would say, “You go first.”

I couldn’t understand that kind of thinking.

I had to say what I wanted to say first to feel at ease.

I opened my mouth.

My tongue felt heavy.

But I spoke.

“I think my eyes work without needing magic power to function. I don’t know when it started, but it’s been like that.”

There was a hint of a lie in that.

If we were to pinpoint a time, it would probably be from the very beginning.

I was not used to being disliked by others.

It wasn’t that I was nice; I just didn’t have a close-knit circle of friends.

My family dynamics were fine, and I was an ordinary person with a narrow social circle, just like anyone else you’d see around.

So I was scared.

What if the reason Skylar was looking after me wasn’t out of any purpose or emotion, but simply because of my eyes?

And what if he discovered that?

What then?

Destruction.

A powerful two-letter word echoed in my brain.

“I know.”

And with Skylar’s response, I felt closer to that two-letter word.

‘…Does he already know? Since when? Is he pretending not to know? What about my lie?’

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

My heart started to race.

I couldn’t control it.

I didn’t love him.

For now, I considered him a close friend.

Maybe I thought of him as a benefactor.

Why was I acting like this?

Why was I feeling this way?

Everything was unfamiliar. It was all my first time.

And the one who hijacked that first time was him, right in front of me.

“…Why didn’t you say anything until now?”

“Because it didn’t matter.”

“That’s… why doesn’t it matter?”

Eyes garner favor from others.

They manipulate others’ feelings.

It leads emotions in desired or undesired directions.

There’s a possibility that the reason Skylar had been so good to me all along was merely because of my eyes.

If not my eyes, it could be because of my looks.

Such shallow feelings.

Human emotions become quickly familiar. The most prolonged feelings fade away in mere three months, leaving hardly any trace.

The reason couples can love each other for long stretches is that they discover each other’s new charms every three months or out of a sense of loyalty.

At least, that’s what I’d thought until now.

So I didn’t quite understand Skylar’s words.

What could possibly not matter?

“If it didn’t affect you, that would be a lie, but at least right now, I’m not affected by your eyes or looks.”

“…Really?”

“The power of the eyes influences others’ emotions. Your appearance is the most attractive I’ve seen among all the people. But right now, my reasons are different.”

Reasons.

Reasons have always been important.

Cause and effect are not something humans can easily escape, no matter how hard they try.

Skylar was speaking to me right now.

This was a confession.

The reasons behind my actions, the cause, were not related to my eyes or looks.

Maybe it started out that way, but at least not now.

And I was happy about that.

I couldn’t understand why.

I was simply glad.

Right now, I wanted to quietly indulge in this feeling and gaze up at the sky. The starlight entered my eyes. It was a sparkle. Perhaps I was sparkling in his eyes like that too.

As I became lost in my thoughts, Skylar didn’t stop talking.

“At first, I denied it. What kind of love could a wizard have? Wasn’t it just feelings stemming from appearance and bodily power? Something like that.”

“……”

“Now, I think I understand for sure.”

“What is it?”

“Let’s be honest. The timing, situation, everything is a mess, and I don’t even know why I’m acting like this. But it feels as if it must be now or never.”

“Skylar, you—”

“The Mad King is still targeting physical forms, your condition is still unstable, and although I reunited with my comrades, I have no idea what they’re thinking; it feels like I’m trapped in a fog. I can’t see a thing.”

“Right now, what are you trying to say?”

If I let that slip, I wouldn’t answer.

You’ve watched me throughout this journey. You know me well.

There’s no going back.

If I refuse, oppose, or reject, what will you do?

I still remember my past.

I can’t love him.

“People find their way by looking up at the moon and stars in the fog where nothing is visible.”

I must not say those words.

If I shout that, everything will end.

This early morning will all be buried as if nothing happened.

But I didn’t want to shout it.

Because I wanted to hear it.

“I wish you would become the moon in my life.”

Amid the ruins of the shattered city, under the moon and starlight shining down on us, Skylar confessed his feelings.

No.

Skylar.

I’m already the ruin of a shattered city and can never return to what I once was.

You were my moon and starlight.

You led me.

I took a deep breath without answering.

What reason is there for you to shake me in this state that I’m barely managing to hold on?

My eyes saw his feelings.

Ah, I see.

You were the one shaking me.

I think this isn’t supposed to happen.

If that’s the case, my answer is.