Surviving as a Useless Bard in a Game

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It’s about time to hit the sack.

After a lot of struggling, I’ve reached a conclusion.

The owner of this body is either my past self… or me existing in some parallel world.

Is it a difference in character creation? Or timelines?

It’s a miracle that I’ve survived this long with such a character.

“Status Window.”

Still can’t see it.

Nothing’s popping up at all.

I seem to be judged as a different entity from the owner of this body.

Once dawn passes, I won’t be able to move, and I’ll get forced back to where I woke up before my active time ends. Can the current ‘me’ even force any action?

“Is the loss of consciousness a condition?”

For some unknown reason, when I collapsed in the past, all the alternate possibilities and scenarios I saw in that ‘dark room’ chose negative traits about ‘something related to consciousness.’

Did this guy also see that room? The one I mistook for the Ending Room?

It’s probably a common trait among all Selinas.

Did the collapsed Selina respond to help from another world?

Or does she receive help instead?

So, did the original me just collapse in an unguarded state…?

Or is someone else inhabiting my body?

“It’s just a hypothesis.”

If this trait applies to Selina in this world too, would I go help someone else in this body?

That seems… not right, does it? I can’t see how I could be any help at all.

What kind of specialized character is this?

Well, it’s ‘me’ after all. I know the bard is a profession, but it must be subtly different.

“After all, bards are way too diverse.”

My head was throbbing.

It felt like my intelligence was dropping in real-time. My other self seems to have failed in distributing the intelligence stat. Is it about time to head back?

“If there’s a next chance, let’s meet again.”

I had a good time after a long while.

Both playing music and fighting.

I hope I don’t lose consciousness too often?

Especially since I’m already feeling weak from [ Insomnia ] and [ Thoroughness ].

It would be nice if you called me often.

And there’s something that’s bothering me.

At which point did you start this damn game?

And then, consciousness fades away.

I open my eyes again in the empty desert.

I have failed.

***

Morning has come.

I open my eyes.

“…I can’t remember again.”

I seem to have successfully gone to bed.

It’s a bit concerning that narcolepsy hasn’t acted up lately, but if I can sleep at night, it doesn’t matter. The annoying penalty has just vanished.

Let’s think positively. I don’t want to add another worry.

“Skylar.”

“Yes.”

“Why are you still lying in bed after waking up?”

“…Because I don’t want to get up.”

“Really?”

“More than that, there’s a smell today… no, never mind.”

“Hmm?”

“It smells similar to when I was ‘on my period.’ But it feels oddly different. Like various types are mixed… And I think the cycle seems irregular, so I might need to check my health status.”

“…Skylar. Please.”

“Oh.”

Skylar let out a short groan and buried her face in the blanket. She belatedly realized her behavior. A bit dull in strange parts, as expected.

I didn’t particularly feel embarrassed or ashamed.

After all, I used to get super angry when my emotions ran high and were hard to control.

Now I could calmly manage my feelings. I’ve become an ‘adult’! If I can’t even control a natural function, how can I call myself a man?

“Wait, that’s strange.”

First, the schedule was different.

When I calculate the cycle, today isn’t the day. So Skylar shouldn’t be able to smell anything. Because it simply hasn’t happened.

And, oddly enough, the material of the robe was different.

As someone who always wore a black robe on my shoulders, I knew. It was the basic equipment I had chosen during character creation.

It was definitely slightly worn and of poor quality.

‘…High-end?’

It felt soft. Like it was made by a skilled artisan.

Putting aside Skylar’s calculations on her unpleasant cycle and smelling, I now had a mystery to solve: why has my robe changed to a high-quality item, and why is there a coppery smell coming from my body?

I had raised some questions to resolve.

Slowly, I sat up.

“…Ugh.”

For some reason, a groan slipped through my lips despite my intentions.

My whole body hurt too much. Did I fall from a high place? No, did I get hit? I hadn’t even exercised vigorously yesterday! What’s going on suddenly?

While my sleeping habits weren’t the best, I definitely didn’t wake up feeling this way in the morning.

Just tossing and turning shouldn’t make my entire body sore or in pain.

Today was way too different.

It wasn’t just about the pain and sensations, the contradictory coppery smell, or the changed clothes being a problem.

It felt like something more fundamentally changed. Thoughts? Sensations? Feelings? Delusions? No, I have no idea. I couldn’t figure it out. What was the cause?

“Status Window.”

I opened my status window immediately.

It had been a long time since I’d seen it.

–

[ Selina ]

[ Female, Bard ]

[ 22 years old ]

–

[ Strength: 0 ]

[ Intelligence: 2 ]

[ Skill: 2 ]

[ Charm: 8 ]

[ Health: 0 ]

[ Speech: 10 ]

–

[ Equipment: Strength Ring (+3), Health Ring (+5), Uncommon Lute ]

–

[ Recalibration Cooldown: 5 hours 8 minutes 12 seconds ]

–

‘…What the hell.’

Recalibration cooldown.

The new term created by mixing three words I knew turned into something I have no idea about.

It felt like my brain went blank when I first saw the joke in a community that “there’s a marquis above a peasant, and above him is the landlord.”

–

Master of Possibilities.

Welcome back.

–

The status window calls me that. ‘Master of Possibilities.’

I… don’t really understand it.

Can you explain yourself clearly?

I seriously hate when game dialogues are filled with insider jargon. That’s just a bunch of authors’ delusional ramblings instead of a story or script.

What the status window is doing feels just like those idiots.

If you’re going to refer to someone not by name but by title, you better explain why that title exists and what makes you call me that. I should at least figure out what it means, just from glancing!

“Let’s do better? Huh?”

–

Silence.

–

The status window displayed a two-letter word and then disappeared again.

The only being that could give me answers has fled just because I pushed a bit.

I feel like I’ve been tossed into a cesspool.

Frustration rises.

In the end, all I can do is recall my original purpose.

We’re going to pull out the body-having Fura, the hikikomori angel, from inside the church.

It’s time for the second attempt at persuasion.

Let’s do what I can now.

Let’s push the stuff I can’t resolve right now to later.

I called out to Skylar. My body felt sore, and my head throbbed. It felt like I had a hangover from drinking last night.

“Skylar, let’s go.”

“…Yes.”

“There’s no tree that doesn’t fall after ten hits.”

“There is. I understand what you mean, though.”

“Stop taking my jokes seriously. Skylar, your way of talking lacks social skills!”

“Do you think I have social skills, Selina?”

“Sure. With a face and body like this, even the voice is social in itself.”

Skylar fell silent.

She probably didn’t expect me to be this boldly self-praising. And, of course, she couldn’t argue with that!

***

We discovered a new lock on the door of the Southern Central Church.

Fortunately, there were no guards around.

“Let’s break it.”

“You’re speaking my language after a long time.”

“I say this all the time, though?”

“Is that so.”

“The way to break it is obviously… Explosions!”

“You can’t be serious… right?”

“I am serious.”

Skylar hesitated for a moment and then rummaged through her scroll bag.

She started to think for a moment.

Then she mumbled.

“…It might be okay?”

“Let’s do it right now.”

When a guy who’s all guy on the outside and another guy who’s a guy on the outside gather together, their ideas usually lead to ‘explosions.’

That’s just how guys work!

Boom—!

With a huge explosion, Skylar and I entered the church.

Thanks to setting up a ‘silent space,’ sound didn’t leak outside.

No one noticed us.

Floating in mid-air, in a fetal position, was the hikikomori angel, Fura, asleep.

Skylar opened her mouth, trying to wake her up. But I had something I really wanted to say in this situation, so I stopped her.

“…Why?”

“I want to be the one to wake her.”

“I don’t care, but…”

I slowly approach Fura, who was curled up in mid-air, and shouted loudly.

“Fura! We’ve come to trade—!”

Skylar shot me a cold, blank stare, but I completely ignored her attitude and grinned looking at the air.

Awoken by the sudden loud sound, Fura stood straight up in mid-air, her messy hair in disarray.

“…Trade?”

“I judged that you wouldn’t confront the Mad King with mere persuasion. So I proposed a trade.”

“What do you have? Even if you say you have something that I don’t, you think I can’t obtain it? And why is your speech shorter even though we just met yesterday…?”

“That’s true. Though you’re a shut-in who last went outside 150 years ago, you are still the owner of the church. You must have plenty of power and money.”

“Yeah, but I asked why your speech is shorter.”

“That’s just my personality.”

Fura frowned.

She wasn’t angry or upset.

It was the expression of a person who got tangled up with an annoying character.

I had already seen that look from Skylar many times; I had grown resistant to it.

“…What do you have?”

I came here to roll the dice.

That means I’m gambling.

“Whoever collects all bodies can become a god.”

That was basically telling religious believers, “You too can become a god.”

In an instant, the church fell into silence.