Surviving as a Useless Bard in a Game

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“…The smell.”

For some reason, it was someone’s careless muttering that woke me from a deep and comfortable sleep after such a long time.

Clear and pure, but not a good voice— it belonged to Fura.

“…You two have been drinking.”

Fura, who woke both Skylar and me at the same time, frowned and glared at us from above with her snowy wings spread wide.

Thanks to her thin negligee, a shadow of her body was slightly visible. The weak silhouette of a body.

I couldn’t help but chuckle.

Her body was far frailer than mine, which was already underweight. It looked like she was a priestess with a physique abandoned by the gods.

“Why are you laughing?!”

“I can see everything.”

Skylar shot a blunt remark from the side while Fura flinched and covered herself with her wings. Her face turned bright red.

“It’s fine. Not as good as me, but quite an excellent body. A noble with a peculiar taste might like it.”

“That’s not comforting at all!”

What a loud morning.

The vital energy was good.

Still groggy, I slowly arranged my clothes and tidied up the blankets.

Finally getting up, what caught my eye was a gray cat shaking its butt on the table, staring into the air.

Anyone who has had a cat would know what was about to happen.

‘…Hunting stance.’

The gray cat immediately leapt into the air, sinking its claws into Fura’s wings.

“AAAH—!”

Fura screamed and twisted her body in midair.

It was a pretty funny sight.

‘…A pigeon?’

Back when I walked through the city, there were many pigeons strolling proudly among people. They’d flap away when approached, acting strangely unless they truly flew. Maybe they couldn’t fly at all. They were incredibly fat.

Lost in my memories, Fura yelled at me.

Actually, she yelled at both me and Skylar.

“Don’t just watch! Help me!”

“What do you expect me to do about a single cat…”

Skylar looked at her with a pathetic expression. It was the same look he gave me in the past.

“It’s not just any cat; it’s a cat with a ‘face!’ It’s the form of a body holder! Why does it act just like a real cat?!”

“…Method acting?”

“You hesitated! You’re not sure either!”

Skylar subtly averted his gaze.

The blame unwittingly shifted to me.

“Hey!”

“…”

“Get this thing off me!”

I also tried to turn my gaze away like Skylar, but unfortunately, there was no one next to me. It meant I couldn’t pass the buck to anyone else.

So, it looks like it’s my turn!

After a moment passed…

“AAAH—!”

The gray cat, proudly showcasing its demeanor while clinging to Fura’s wings, decided to dig its claws into my hair as I crouched down closer.

The curved claws of the fierce beast precisely snagged my tangled hair, and I felt a sharp pain in my scalp as I was pulled toward the cat.

Right. I was screaming.

The cat let out a sound that was different from usual, almost like it was enjoying itself. It was closer to a ‘rolling’ sound than a ‘meow.’

Though I had never had a pet before, thanks to the blessings of some unknown video site’s algorithm, I had an idea about the types of cat sounds and how to distinguish them.

This little jerk was clearly enjoying the situation.

No matter how much I washed and combed, my messy hair was always stuck in a tangled state, so the cat’s claws didn’t really tear or straighten anything out.

To look at it another way, it meant I had to stay like this until the cat decided to let go.

“Fura! Come down!”

“I’m going insane. Really.”

Gradually adapting to the pain, Fura slowly landed on the ground, folding one of her wings completely back into her body.

With one claw still lodged in her other wing, Fura’s nimble hand shot out toward the cat.

Fortunately, the cat was caught by Fura’s hand, and after a skilled operation, its claws were finally removed from both my hair and Fura’s wings.

Throughout this whole ordeal, Skylar merely watched from the sidelines, tearing apart some bread.

Before long, a furious Fura and I threw the cat at Skylar, who immediately ignited a scroll to raise a barrier.

His smirk was infuriating.

Fura seemed to think the same, sneaking a glance at me.

Caught by the impact against Skylar’s shield, the cat collapsed on the floor as I scooped it up into my arms.

Fura leapt into the air and charged toward Skylar at an alarming speed.

She had lightning crackling in her hands.

‘…She means business?’

Skylar, startled, quickly set up his barrier again.

“What the hell are you doing in the inn?!”

“You need to be taught a lesson too!”

The intensity of the lightning in Fura’s hand gradually increased.

Skylar’s scroll was a one-time-use item.

‘In other words, once the barrier goes down, there’ll be a gap until it can be reused.’

I didn’t understand why I was explaining this, but either way, this fight could only end in Fura’s victory.

She slipped past Skylar, who had the build of a child, thrusting her arm between his armpits.

Skylar’s arms were pinned down by Fura, and due to the height difference and her levitating ability, his feet were also lifted off the ground.

In other words, Skylar was effectively deprived of his freedom, looking at me with an expression that said ‘this can’t be happening, right?’

I couldn’t help but return his gaze with a smirk, just like when he had mocked me earlier.

The look on his face stiffened. He realized I was serious.

I hurled the gray cat at Skylar, its claws leaving deep, long marks on his precious black robe as it slid down.

Skylar’s expression became rigid.

A blue light swirled around the scroll.

It flashed.

Stars gathered.

The black ceiling came into view.

“…Skylar?”

“That’s ridiculously expensive.”

“What is?”

Fura sensed the ominous atmosphere and immediately dashed back. Skylar grabbed Fura’s wing with his hand.

I also tried to make a run for it.

“[ Refusing Plants ]”

Vines wrapped around my legs.

I quickly drew my lute.

I played a melody.

ㅡ♩

The magic contained in the short note, and my intention was.

‘[ Enhancement ], [ Speed ], [ Amplification ], [ Solidification ]’

I was not the same person I used to be. I could quickly break out of this kind of binding. The real concern was what kind of attack Skylar would launch at me…

With his calm and collected demeanor, if he was putting on a show like this, the chances of him launching a serious attack in the inn were low.

“Deceive the sky.”

Skylar began to chant.

…But he was using a scroll.

Why was he chanting?

“Beyond the cloud-covered sky, I see it. Though it’s clearly morning, my eyes see night. The starlight whispers to me. Light gathers beyond the clouds.”

The blue light that had been burning the scroll transformed into the color of lightning.

When I say lightning color, most people think of yellow, but what I saw was unsettlingly pure white.

It appeared as white as snow, able to erase everything in the world.

“From the gathered light, it radiates in a straight line. Omnidirectional. [ Radiant Warrior ]”

Flash.

And there was light.

…

After some time, I slowly opened my eyes.

Charred marks.

The smell of burning wood.

Skylar’s sigh.

I got up, and the first thing my eyes caught was Fura, stuck in the corner, suspended in midair.

Her wings looked slightly charred.

“Oh my.”

“…”

“Skylar, this time you were dumber than me.”

“I can admit that.”

It seemed I was going to burn through all the money I had collected so far in this city. How on earth was I going to fix this? Was it even a matter that could be fixed with money?

No, there was something even more important right now.

“How did you chant without a heart?”

“When burning a scroll, some scrolls require a chant. It’s a necessary condition for activation.”

“…That sounds even more expensive?”

“Yes.”

Skylar subtly averted his gaze and burned another scroll.

It was an [ Illusion ].

Having used it in front of my eyes every day, I recognized it immediately.

Right. Skylar was currently using the illusion to restore the room to its original state. More precisely… pretending to restore it.

The moment the illusion’s duration ended, we would be caught.

“What are you planning?”

“…I guess we’ll just blame it on the next guest?”

The charred gray cat stared with wide eyes, alternating between Skylar and my face.

One thought flooded my mind.

Whoever gave this brat the credentials of a wizard clearly didn’t know how to judge people.