The Gloomy and Timid Princess Heads to the Academy

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A month and a half. It might seem long, but it wasn’t an eternity. Dokan doesn’t follow me around every day, but he comes at least once a day, and Brother Black Wolf reports in real-time what he’s up to.

So, there’s no big issue. It seems like Dokan isn’t making much progress either. I can tell that he’s only been wasting time up to this point.

Anya seems to have feelings for either Eric or Arin. The church folks might not say it, but there’s definitely some sort of tension in the air.

It bothers me that there’s someone trailing behind us, but since it’s at the level of that subordinate uncle, it’s not a huge concern.

Well. Considering I know there’s no room for interference in a romantic relationship, Dokan’s actions are ultimately destined to fail.

It’s not like I once had the courage to ask a lovey-dovey couple walking arm in arm on the street to move aside, after all.

I just wish Dokan would see me a bit differently. If he outright asked me to bear his child—well, that’d make him run off in a panic.

At the very least… I wish he’d recognize me as a woman.

“…Uh, Lady Ho-yeon.”

“Hmm? What is it? Speak up. Do you not understand my explanation?”

Perhaps the explanation was too difficult for Dokan, who gained communication skills at the cost of his intelligence. It was a reasonable doubt, considering he often asked questions during midterms.

“I feel a bit… too close. Would you mind stepping back a little?”

“What are you talking about? Where’s that confidence you showed when you were flirting with Anya and Cecilia? Is this what you mean by ‘I don’t want this?’”

From what I observed through the window or heard from Brother Black Wolf, he treated other girls at this same distance.

Though he seemed to have gotten slapped by Camilla while trying to flirt.

Of course, I think that… being physically close means we’re already kind of intimate, but we’ve grown distant lately.

So, we need to get closer again. Even if just for a moment.

“W-well…”

How did he know? Or why is he bringing this up now? I don’t really know what he’s trying to say, but it seems to lean toward that kind of topic.

“I’ll turn a blind eye to you. I didn’t say I wouldn’t keep watch. You know that, right? Please understand the feelings of someone who has had to just watch all this time.”

I whispered quietly in his ear so I wouldn’t disturb the others who were studying. I made sure to maintain an intense gaze while doing so.

At this point, it seemed like he didn’t have much to say, and he began focusing back on my lesson.

“Anyway, as I was saying…”

If he was going to continue, I was prepared to mention how many times I’d met with other girls while expressing my feelings.

But seriously, he was smart enough to pick up on things when he needed to. I don’t know why he makes unfortunate judgments when it’s important.

Nonetheless, Dokan was not just good at communication; he was grasping some pretty difficult concepts quickly without issue.

“The equation for shapes can be solved like this. Any questions?”

“No, none.”

Does the similarity in magical power also boost intelligence? It might be better than the intelligence enhancers the scholars in my hometown consume.

Those usually come with the side effect of headaches, forcing the user to take a week off. It does make you smarter, though. I know from experience because I tried it out of curiosity.

It really feels enlightening, in a way. You can see the world differently.

But right now, that’s not important.

“Alright. Then, it’s a 10-minute break.”

Having finished teaching Dokan, and given that Anya had finally recalled her log after a long, painful time, I felt it was about time to rest.

As soon as the word “10 minutes” came out, Anya jumped up, kicked her chair back, and headed outside, with Eric slowly trailing after her while telling her to wait.

“Are you not going outside?”

The church group was meandering about outside, but I was curious why Dokan was just sitting in his chair, looking utterly exhausted.

“…I just don’t feel like it. Things aren’t going well these days… I don’t know.”

With most people gone and only the homunculus shopkeeper remaining nearby, I decided to drop the formalities.

“…Not going well?”

Seeing Dokan directly admit that his romantic endeavors were going poorly put me at ease, but that didn’t mean I enjoyed seeing him sulking.

After saying something so serious to me, it was natural for him to feel embarrassed or downcast if he didn’t have any results.

Though it’s good news for me. Trying to match up people who already have feelings for someone and those who have no feelings at all is tiring for both sides.

I wish he’d just give up. It’s not like anyone is holding a knife to his throat, yet Dokan seems to have no intention of backing down.

“…Uh. Sorry. I made such bold promises to you, and this is the lackluster result.”

No. If there had been any success, I probably would have been angrier. The failure left him in a more comfortable state. If anything, why not fail spectacularly and come to me instead?

That would be welcome.

“…Yeah, it seems like things aren’t going well for you. I can’t say “hang in there,” but if it gets too hard, come to me anytime. If I can… I’ll help you.”

Not for relationship advice, though. Honestly, I wanted to tell him to just drop it and come to me, but I didn’t want to crush his spirit.

I want to respect a friend’s courage, even if it’s not someone else.

“Thanks. Then… can I ask you one thing?”

“Of course… What is it…?”

Honestly, I didn’t expect him to ask for something right away. But since he had asked, I wouldn’t back down as a man.

Wabara.

“…If you had to go somewhere right now, but all the paths there were cut off, what would you do?”

With a serious expression and a low tone, he asked such a trivial question, and I found myself wondering why he was asking so intensely.

“What do you mean, what would I do? I’d just not go.”

“But if not going there would bring bad things to everyone… then, should I just ignore that? If I’m the only one who can stop that bad thing?”

Somehow the conversation seemed to be getting complicated and dark… But still, I should answer sincerely.

I sat next to him and told him my answer.

“…In that case, I’d try to find a path first. If I really can’t find one… then isn’t it enough to be satisfied with that? You’ve tried your best.”

If you’ve done all you can and still can’t succeed, you should just think that the heavens are being unreasonable and give up. What else can you do?

Just like how I couldn’t make friends in my past life. While effort may make most things possible, some things simply won’t work out.

“…Then, let me add just one condition. If a misfortune befalls everyone, but there’s a safe space for you, and no one would ever know you ran away… would you enter it?”

Dokan’s expression at that moment looked like that of a tortured elderly person. Is this an indication of the protagonist’s struggles?

I can’t remember the original story and haven’t seen it all, but even from that short amount of time, there was a subtle darkness highlighted.

Perhaps there’s some darkness in this continent too. It seems to trouble him.

If I try, I can save everyone, but honestly, there are comfortable ways to just live. Would you still go through all the trouble to save everyone… Is that the sentiment behind his question? I couldn’t give him a definitive answer.

Such complicated philosophical issues keep me busy from what my mother gave me. I still haven’t figured out the problem of whether humans can live without gods.

“…I really don’t know. But I’ll be on your side no matter what choice you make, as long as you keep your promise.”

Thus, all I can give is a raw sense of empathy. Usually, when someone asks something like this, they’ve already got their answer in mind.

They’re simply seeking confirmation because they lack confidence.

I stepped behind Dokan and gently placed my hand on his shoulder.

I felt him flinch a bit at what I’d done, but quickly, as he realized I wasn’t applying pressure, he relaxed.

This time, I wouldn’t break his shoulder. I gently patted his shoulder in that sense.

Then I wrapped him in a warm embrace from behind.

“…Ho-yeon?”

“Don’t try to handle everything by yourself. We’re friends, right? If it’s tough, just say so. I don’t really know if I can help, but I can at least comfort you.”

I’m not sure if friends do things like this, but… Still, if this brings us closer, then why not?

Besides, after running around so much lately, someone should reward him.

As I held him quietly, he accepted me silently.

It’s warm, this thing called human body heat. My parents used to give me lots of this when I was young. But I haven’t felt it much as I grew up.

Thinking back, I don’t think I’ve shared my body heat with anyone else. So maybe that’s why Dokan feels so special.

…But I guess we held onto each other for too long, as ten minutes passed.

Meaning, the other kids came in and witnessed whatever we were doing.

So, to show off to them, I tightened my grip on Dokan and hugged him a bit more firmly.

This is mine.

I’m not giving him to you guys, no way.