The Greatsword Is Not My Main Body!

"Oh, uh, tonight… I'm sleeping in Hephaestus's room. R-Rubia, you can sleep alone—"

Ah.

Was this what it felt like to be struck in the back of the head with a hammer?

No.

No, I've been hit before. I know.

This is worse.

Even being slammed by beasts far stronger than humans…

Even having my arms torn apart, my legs broken, or my insides spilling out—none of that hurt as much as this.

The iron willpower that had carried me through countless near-death situations…

Was shattered by a single sentence from a tiny girl.

The world flashed white.

A wave of dizziness hit me like a tidal wave, and my legs gave out beneath me.

Suddenly, my perspective dropped, and I felt the cold, hard floor against me.

"U-Um, Rubia…?"

Hephaestus's alarmed voice reached my ears.

Hephaestus.

Hephaestus.

Hephaestus…?

"Y-You're… sleeping in Hephaestus's room… just the two of you…? At night…?"

I remembered what Hephaestus had told me earlier. She loved her master, Yuria.

Yuria was a woman.

And Noah… Noah was also a woman.

Of course, I didn't think Hephaestus would ever do anything improper to Noah.

Hephaestus wasn't that kind of person.

But still…

"Uh… Rubia…?"

I looked up. Noah, who had been sitting at the table, was cautiously making her way toward me.

So cute.

She was just too cute.

Could Hephaestus really hold herself back, even after seeing her like this?

The image of Noah sleeping popped into my head.

It was adorable.

Her soft breathing was adorable.

The way her fingers twitched as she slept was adorable.

Even the way her toes curled tightly was adorable.

Could anyone… truly hold back after seeing all that?

My head turned on its own, and my eyes met Hephaestus's.

Her face was full of panic, her expression thoroughly flustered.

"Uh… um… how about we all just sleep together?"

Together?

"Wha…? B-But… tonight, I was planning to… Mmph—!"

Hephaestus quickly clamped her hand over Noah's mouth.

"Well, it'd be a waste to have paid for separate rooms, but let's all stay together tonight! And tomorrow… you two can have some time alone while I'm busy reforging the greatsword. Sound good?"

Tomorrow.

Noah.

Without her greatsword.

"It'll take at least two days. I'll be in the forge all day, up until bedtime."

All day…

"T-Two whole days?"

"Yep. I've got the materials, and I've arranged to use a forge, but the equipment there isn't great. It's going to take some time."

I could feel the blood circulating through my body again.

The thread of my sanity, which had been fraying, slowly began to mend.

I stood up quietly, brushing off my skirt.

"I apologize. I've behaved disgracefully."

I managed to speak with calm composure, my voice smooth and polite.

"U-Um, Rubia… you're bleeding!"

Hephaestus's voice quivered as she pointed.

I looked down.

Blood was dripping from a gash near my ankle, trailing down my leg in thin streams.

Now that I'd noticed it, pain started to creep in—but only for a moment.

Thanks to regaining my composure, the wound quickly healed itself.

"See? I'm fine."

"Oh… huh, you're right. That's incredible…"

"Uh… Rubia… are you sure you're okay…?"

Noah, still looking worried, cautiously approached.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm sorry for worrying you. Let's finish our meal first, shall we?"

"O-Okay… and, um… let's do what Hephaestus said and sleep together tonight. I… I'm sorry…"

Noah reached out hesitantly, her fingers fidgeting nervously.

"No, I was the one in the wrong. You don't need to apologize, Noah."

I subtly pulled my hand back, just out of her reach.

She flinched slightly at the motion, her body trembling.

"Let's eat quickly and get some rest, shall we? Hephaestus is going to be very busy starting tomorrow, so she'll need the energy."

"...O-Okay…"

Noah's hand hovered awkwardly in the air for a moment before retreating to rest near her chest.

"Alright, everyone! Let's dig in before it gets cold!"

Breaking the tense atmosphere, Hephaestus chirped cheerfully and gestured to the food.

Noah, looking a bit deflated, shuffled back to her seat.

I'm sorry, Noah.

But right now…

I can't help it now.

* * * *

After finishing dinner and taking turns washing up, we settled into bed.

I was on the left, Noah was in the middle, and Hephaestus took the right.

The bed was a bit cramped for three people, but thanks to Noah's small frame, it wasn't too uncomfortable.

"Good night, everyone! I'll be heading out early tomorrow morning, so don't freak out when you see Noah's greatsword missing!"

"Mm… but are you really sure it's going to take two days?"

"Yep! If someone else were doing it, it would take at least five days."

"Ugh… fine…"

"Hehe, you can look forward to it. I'll make it into the most comfortable sword for you to wield."

Noah nodded, her hair brushing softly against my arm as she moved.

"R-Rubia… good night."

Noah shifted, turning her body slightly to face me.

"Yes. Good night, Noah."

I gave her a gentle smile and closed my eyes.

Before long, Hephaestus fell asleep first. Then, much later, Noah's breathing evened out as she drifted off as well.

But I couldn't fall asleep.

I carefully got up from the bed and moved toward the window.

The cool early-morning air, which matched the color of my hair, greeted me as I cracked it open.

"Haa…"

I let out a deep sigh, recalling Noah's words from earlier.

Looking back, her words weren't particularly shocking.

She had simply been angry at me and wanted to avoid the discomfort of sharing a bed—so she said she'd sleep elsewhere.

It was such a simple statement.

But why had I reacted the way I did?

Why had such messy, clinging emotions clouded my mind?

It's hard to describe this feeling.

If I had to name it, I'd call it… obsession.

But it wasn't the kind of feeling I'd had toward my younger siblings in the past.

Nor was it a lighthearted affection one might feel for a friend.

So, why?

Was it because she was the first friend I'd ever shown my true self to?

Or because I felt a sense of kinship with her?

Or maybe… it was because she had become a kind of guidepost for me?

I didn't know.

Regardless, one thing remained true:

Because of this messy, clingy emotion, I'd burdened Noah.

Hephaestus had said that Noah might be afraid of being abandoned by me.

But what if it was the opposite?

What if it was I who was afraid of being abandoned by Noah?

After all the pressure I'd put on her, after making her upset, it wouldn't be strange if Noah left me.

But even if I wanted to confirm how she truly felt…

Noah, with her endlessly kind heart, wouldn't give me an answer that might hurt me.

She'd likely hold it all in, thinking she was sparing me pain.

But then… when Noah reaches out to me first…

What is she feeling in those moments?

When she grabs my hand,

When she sees me injured and gets so angry on my behalf,

When she tells me she'll protect me for the rest of her life,

When she lifts me up when I'm at my lowest…

What kind of emotions are behind those actions?

When Noah wept, gagged, and even killed someone who attacked me…

What was she feeling then?

I didn't know.

It was all too complicated.

I'd never built relationships like this before.

I was the revered priestess, someone placed on a pedestal.

I didn't know how to understand people's true intentions.

I didn't know how to read their hearts.

And worse, I didn't even understand my own feelings.

I didn't know what this messy, suffocating emotion within me truly was.

I turned my head to look at Noah, who was sleeping soundly.

Because the bed was so small, and we had to put her greatsword aside, she was hugging my pillow tightly.

Her small body curled up even tighter, making her look even smaller.

The way she scrunched her face, lightly chewing on the strands of hair that had fallen into her mouth, was unbearably cute.

I walked over slowly and carefully removed the strands of hair from her lips.

Then I gently stroked her head.

Noah's expression softened immediately, and seeing it brought a warm smile to my face.

But deep inside, that clinging, messy feeling stirred again.

Hephaestus's words came to mind.

She had asked if I loved Noah.

Not as a friend, not as a comrade—but romantically.

It was ridiculous.

The love I'd seen and heard about was sweet, tender, warm, and soft.

This… this wasn't any of that.

This was messy. Clingy. Stifling.

It couldn't be love.

I didn't understand my feelings.

I didn't understand Noah's feelings either.

So…

Maybe I needed to take a step back.

I needed to sort through my thoughts and emotions.

This might not be the right answer.

It could even be a mistake I'll never be able to undo.

But I had no choice.

If I let this messy emotion get out of control again, it might ruin my relationship with Noah.

And I wanted to stay by her side for as long as I could.

I gently brushed the stray strands of hair off Noah's face.

Then, I wiped away the small line of drool at the corner of her mouth.

I lay back down in bed and closed my eyes.

But even as the hours passed, I couldn't fall asleep.

I stayed awake until everyone else began to stir.

* * * *

When I opened my eyes, the greatsword was gone—just as Hephaestus had said it would be.

But… Rubia wasn't beside me either.

Even after a long time had passed…

Even after I shifted and made it clear I was awake, she didn't come over.

"R-Rubia?"

No answer.

I could hear her breathing nearby… but she didn't respond.

"Rubia…!"

"…Ahem. Yes?"

There was a loud clatter from the desk as Rubia's voice finally answered.

The sound came from far away.

"Oh… uh… it's nothing."

"If you need anything, just let me know."

"…O-Okay."

Rubia was acting strange.

Why… why was she so far away?

Normally, she'd be right next to me, clinging like always.

Was it because I got so mad at her yesterday?

Ugh…

I found my hand drifting toward my hip instinctively.

But, of course, the familiar weight of my greatsword wasn't there. My hand just hovered in the empty air.

"Um… R-Rubia."

"Yes?"

I wanted to ask her to hold my hand.

But after I'd gotten so angry and said I wouldn't sleep near her, and now, just because my greatsword wasn't here, if I started looking for her… she'd probably feel bad, right?

Yeah… I'd feel bad too, if I were her.

"Ah… never mind."

Once again, silence filled the room.

The stillness was broken only by the steady sound of Rubia's breathing and the faint voices of people bustling outside the window.

There hadn't been a moment like this between us before.

Not until now.

And it left me feeling unsettled.

I pulled the blanket up over my shoulders until it covered me completely.

I hugged my pillow tightly to my chest.

But… it wasn't enough.

I reached out and grabbed the pillow Rubia had used.

Burying my face in it, I breathed in deeply.

The pillow smelled like Rubia.

But it didn't carry her warmth.

Just a little.

Just a tiny bit…

It felt lonely.

It's ridiculous for me to feel this way now, after everything.

But…

I wish Rubia would hold me.

So close that I could feel her heartbeat.

Without a single gap between us.

So tight it would take my breath away.

Even if I couldn't see anything, I'd still be able to feel her with all my senses.

Rubia…

Please.

Hold me.