Chapter 149: The Well-Endowed Are All Guilty
"Where are my serpent fangs?"
"And my flying wings!"
"I really didn't take those..."
"Then how do you explain the silver arrows, ore, and jewels on you?"
"Uh, found them on the road?"
After searching a large pile of miscellaneous stolen goods on Hermes, the two victims finally ran out of patience with this god of thieves' repeated dodges, shifting from scolding to a righteous beating.
Hearing the thud of flesh and bone behind him, along with Hermes's cries for clemency, Luo En, who had already put some distance between himself and the commotion, couldn't help but mourn in his heart for a full half a second for the ancestor of thieves who had taken the blame for him.
If he guessed right, this god of extreme speed with a kleptomaniac streak probably frequented the treasure rooms of the gods, casually helping himself to a few things, which was simply part of the routine.
So, whenever something went missing from Olympus's possessions, nine times out of ten, it was the work of Hermes.
If he said he didn't steal it, it probably meant he wasn't beaten hard enough.
For not only is he the god of thieves, he is also the god of trickery, and lying is second nature to him; Apollo had been a victim of his deceit before.
Back in the day, Hermes had just been born for a short while when he stole fifty cattle from Apollo's pen. As he drove the herd away, he would sometimes make them go forward, then back, and then sideways, constantly changing directions to confuse their tracks and make it impossible for the owner to discern the direction the cattle had gone. Fearing his tiny footprints would be discovered, he crafted a pair of large straw sandals to wear, making his tracks resemble those of a giant.
Upon reaching his destination, he settled the herd in a distant pen, slaughtered two cattle, roasted and ate them, and then cleverly used a handful of sand to extinguish the fire, leaving no traces behind.
A seamless performance, he was a natural-born grand sage and master thief.
So, when Apollo caught up, even though he knew the petty thief Hermes was the culprit, the lack of evidence left him helpless and without recourse.
Perhaps owing to these old grievances, the god of light was quite ruthless in his punishment.
In no time, Hermes was left bruised and swollen from the beating by Apollo and Hephaestus, forced to raise his hands in surrender and agreeing to compensate for their losses, which finally brought the farce to a close.
As the dust settled, Luo En, thinking of the half-damaged "Wings of Icarus," "Teeth of Pityon," and other anonymous items in the warehouse, couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief, his mind tinged with sarcasm.
Look at that, even Olympus has a master to balance the accounts.
If I could extract more good stuff from the gods' storeroom in the future, I might have to trouble you again.
While jesting, Luo En also roughly understood the mechanism of the "Dice of Chance" blessing.
—Using reasonable logic and actions to alter an insignificant small probability "possibility," and then embedding it into the framework of "inevitability."
For instance, if Hermes visited the gods' treasure house and, after taking part of the collection, left precious items and casually tossed the unwanted loot to some corner or roadside, that gave the "Dice of Chance" an opportunity to let these objects, which otherwise would rot or vanish, eventually end up in his hands.
Therefore, as long as he wasn't too ostentatious, there was basically no need to worry about the aftermath of these stolen goods.
Having confirmed the answer, Luo En confidently straightened his back and continued on towards the Great Temple.
Along the way, with Athena's introduction, he successively met two of the Twelve Olympians whom he hadn't encountered before.
One was Demeter, the goddess of agriculture, composed and dignified with an approachable and gentle temperament of a nurturing elder, but her eyes brimmed with a faint sadness, often silent, as if she had lost interest in everything.
The other was Ares, the war god, who fit Luo En's stereotype of a brainless brute, tall and muscular, with exaggerated sinewy muscles like cast iron, full of explosive power, acting with limbs before brain, the archetypal brute.
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However, this War God, who looks like a fierce and malevolent deity, is now being savagely thrashed by a seductive and alluring Goddess, who is chasing him down without giving him a chance to fight back.
"What is this?" Luo En asked knowingly.
"It's the God of Love Aphrodite…" Athena mentioned the heroine's divine name indifferently, and then, with a hint of schadenfreude surfacing in her eyes, she watched the commotion unfolding in front of her, "The pretty boy she keeps outside has been roughed up by a boar again. Although he was lucky enough to survive, he's been scared out of his wits…"
"Again?" Luo En caught a key word.
"Yes, for the second time," Athena nodded, looking at Ares, who was scurrying away, and a mocking smile appeared on her face, "And, what's strange is that both these boars possessed War Divinity? How odd, isn't it?"
As the mastermind, Luo En immediately understood and nodded in agreement, while secretly giving a salute to Ares, whose face was stamped with the marks of a beating.
Big brother is so righteous, your grandnephew here is grateful!
He had disguised himself with the War Divinity, transformed into a demonic boar, and attacked Aphrodite's beau, all just to muddle the tracks.
Unexpectedly, not only did Ares take the fall for him, but he also recreated the scene, solidifying the accusation.
Such a good brother and great-grandfather should be tricked a few more times; not doing so would be an insult to his impressive IQ of 250.
As Luo En and Athena were enjoying the show, two golden deer pulling a golden chariot swooped down from the sky.
Before the chariot even touched the ground, a tall and fiery figure threw the reins aside and leaped off, her face bursting with excited laughter as she headed straight for someone in the square.
"Bang~!"
However, with a dull collision sound, Artemis felt the almost imperceptible cushioning against her chest and froze momentarily, her silvery eyes meeting a pair of bright purple ones, and her expression darkened immediately.
Athena? Her again!
But before she could react, a melancholy whisper reached the ears of the Goddess of the Hunt.
"Don't move! This is Olympus. Do you want to kill him?"
"…!"
In a flash, Artemis's pupils constricted, realizing the hidden danger in the current situation, and the fire within her was extinguished. She came to her senses, opened her arms affectionately, and hugged Athena close.
"Haha, Athena, long time no see. I'm so glad to see you're alright!"
"Me too…"
Athena struggled to lift her slightly squished face, caught between two mounds, and forced up a smile that spoke of sisterly affection, while gritting her teeth.
Due to the difference in height and stature, when the two embraced, Artemis, tall enough to dwarf Athena, shoved her into her bosom, and with the help of two excessively heavy "meatballs," managed to attract the resentment and hatred of the Goddess of Wisdom.
What's so great about an accumulation of fat? It hinders movement and seduces the opposite sex, an evil presence, right?
While mentally criticizing, Athena tried hard to break free from Artemis's large embrace.
However, whether intentionally or unintentionally, the Goddess of the Hunt seemed to truly see a long-lost sister and held onto Athena, refusing to let go, instead starting a warm conversation.
With no other choice, Athena haphazardly responded and, hand in hand with her intimate "friend," walked into the Great Temple together.
Luo En was left alone, standing disheveled in the wind.
Since when did they become so close?