The Salted Fish Cultivator: My Pet System Awakens

Understood! I'll include the flashbacks from the second-to-last version you m

Lu Tian groaned as he leaned against a tree near the dormitory, still trying to recover from his system-induced running nightmare. Zhang Wei sat beside him, happily devouring yet another meat bun, while Wei Jingyi stood nearby, arms crossed as she stared at him like he was an unsolvable puzzle.

"I don't get it," Jingyi said, her voice cutting through the soft rustle of the leaves. "How can someone who just ran ten laps faster than most of the class still look like they've never exercised a day in their life?"

"It's a talent," Zhang Wei said between bites, crumbs flying everywhere. "Brother Lu's been like this since we were kids. Lazy, but somehow unstoppable when he feels like it."

Wei Jingyi frowned. "Really?" She turned to Lu Tian, who was slumped against the tree like a discarded rag doll. "You've always been this lazy?"

Lu Tian opened one eye lazily. "Born lazy. Raised lazy. I'll probably die lazy."

"You're exaggerating," Wei Jingyi said, though there was doubt in her tone.

Zhang Wei let out a loud laugh, slapping his knee. "Oh no, he's not. Let me tell you, Brother Lu's laziness is legendary. You wouldn't believe some of the things he's done—no, refused to do—when we were kids."

"Like what?" Wei Jingyi asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lu Tian groaned, dragging a hand over his face. "Don't start, Fatty."

"Too late!" Zhang Wei grinned, his round face glowing with excitement. "Jingyi, do you know this guy refused to walk until he was five? He'd crawl everywhere, or make someone carry him."

Wei Jingyi blinked, stunned. "You didn't walk until five?!"

Lu Tian sighed. "Walking is overrated. Why waste energy when someone else can do the work?"

"Brother Lu called it 'efficient energy conservation,'" Zhang Wei said, barely containing his laughter. "But we all knew the truth. He just couldn't be bothered!"

"That's… incredible," Wei Jingyi said, her face torn between disbelief and amusement.

"You think that's bad? Wait until you hear about meal times," Zhang Wei said, leaning forward conspiratorially. "Brother Lu refused to eat unless someone fed him. He said chewing was too much effort."

Wei Jingyi gasped. "Chewing?! How is that too much effort?"

Lu Tian shrugged. "Chewing takes energy. I was conserving it."

"Conserving it for what?!" Wei Jingyi asked, incredulous.

"Sleeping, probably," Zhang Wei said, laughing so hard he nearly fell over.

---

Flashback – Lu Tian, Age 3

Madam Lu crouched in front of her toddler son, holding a colorful wooden toy. "Tian'er, look! If you stand up, you can reach it!"

Baby Lu Tian tilted his head lazily, his chubby cheeks wobbling slightly as he stared at the toy with disinterest.

Madam Lu jiggled the toy, making it rattle. "Come on, sweetie. Just a little effort."

Lu Tian slowly flopped onto his side, curling into a ball like a hibernating animal.

From across the room, Master Lu watched with a faint frown. "Is he defective?"

"He's lazy," Madam Lu snapped. "Your side of the family's fault."

Master Lu shrugged. "He's efficient. Why waste energy standing when lying down works just as well?"

"You're not helping."

---

Flashback – Lu Tian, Age 2

"Eat, Tian'er! Come on, just one bite!"

Madam Lu, a stunning woman with sharp eyes and a calm demeanor, crouched next to a baby Lu Tian, holding out a spoonful of food with exaggerated cheer.

Baby Lu Tian turned his head to the side, looking completely uninterested. His pudgy little face was blank, as if even opening his mouth was too much effort.

"Come on, just a little! Ahhh—open wide!"

Baby Lu Tian stared at the spoon. Then at his mother. Then at the spoon again. His tiny mouth remained stubbornly shut.

Madam Lu sighed, giving up. "Fine. No food until you're hungry."

From the corner, Lu Tian's father—Master Lu, a tall, imposing man who could silence an entire battlefield with a glance—sat watching with a bemused expression. He leaned back and muttered, "It's unnatural. How can a child be this lazy?"

"It's your fault," Madam Lu retorted, glaring at her husband. "He inherited your stubbornness."

"I'm not stubborn. I'm dignified."

Madam Lu rolled her eyes. "Dignified, my foot."

Baby Lu Tian ignored their bickering and quietly lay down on the floor like a tiny sack of potatoes.

---

Flashback – Lu Tian, Age 8

"Lu Tian, clean your room," Madam Lu ordered, her tone firm.

Young Lu Tian lay sprawled across his bed, staring at the ceiling with the intensity of a philosopher pondering life's mysteries. "I'll do it tomorrow."

"You said that yesterday!"

"And the day before," his father added from the hallway.

Lu Tian raised an arm weakly. "I didn't specify which tomorrow."

Madam Lu's eye twitched. "Lu Tian!"

Master Lu sighed. "Leave him, dear. He'll figure it out."

Madam Lu glared. "Figure it out? At this rate, the only thing he'll figure out is how to grow mold on his bed!"

---

Back in the Present

"And that's how it's always been," Lu Tian concluded, waving a hand lazily. "Laziness isn't just a choice, Fatty. It's an art form."

Zhang Wei was howling with laughter, clutching his sides. "Brother Lu, you're a legend! I can't believe you refused to eat and walk as a kid. Your parents must've gone insane!"

"They did," Lu Tian said. "But they're used to me now."

Zhang Wei's laughter subsided, replaced by curiosity. "What are your parents like anyway? Are they strict? I've always imagined them as crazy martial artists forcing you to train 24/7."

Lu Tian smirked. "They act like an average cultivation family. My dad's always serious about training, and my mom's strict, but… I feel like they're hiding something."

"Hiding what?" Wei Jingyi leaned in, curious.

Lu Tian frowned, trying to remember. "They're too good at everything. My dad once caught a sword with his bare hands during a sparring match. And my mom… well, she's scary when she's angry."

Wei Jingyi narrowed her eyes. "Scary how?"

"She can silence an entire room with one glare," Lu Tian said matter-of-factly. "And once, she yelled at a merchant cultivator so hard that he left our estate crying."

Wei Jingyi gawked. "What?!"

"Normal stuff," Lu Tian said, waving it off. "I've never bothered to ask what they do."

Zhang Wei stared at him. "Brother Lu, you're hopeless."

"Tell me something I don't know," Lu Tian replied, yawning.

---

That night, as Lu Tian walked back to his dorm, the system's voice interrupted his thoughts.

[Host, you've been idle for 6.2 hours. Issuing new mission: Reflect on your current weaknesses and meditate for one hour. Penalty: Pain Calibration Level 3.]

Lu Tian froze mid-step. "Meditation? Weaknesses? Why do you keep asking me to work?"

[Because, Host, you must improve.]

Thunder rumbled faintly overhead.

Lu Tian panicked. "Alright, alright! I'll meditate! Just stop threatening me!"

He dropped to the ground immediately, assuming the world's laziest meditation pose.

From a distance, a few students stared, confused.

"Is Lu Tian meditating in the middle of the road?"

"He's definitely possessed."

As Lu Tian tried to tune out the whispers, he muttered under his breath. "This is the worst day ever.