The Salted Fish Cultivator: My Pet System Awakens

Lu Tian stood at the sink, staring blankly at the mountain of dishes before him. His hands moved sluggishly, scrubbing each plate like it was a personal insult.

"This is real torture," he muttered under his breath.

[Diligence is the foundation of growth, Host.]

"Diligence is overrated," Lu Tian hissed through gritted teeth.

Madam Lu walked past him, pausing just long enough to inspect his progress. "You've missed a spot on that bowl."

Lu Tian groaned. "Mother, I've been scrubbing for twenty minutes. The bowl is clean enough to eat off of."

"Clean enough isn't clean," Madam Lu said sharply. "If you're going to do something, do it properly."

Lu Tian sighed, muttering under his breath. "I should've just let the system zap me."

"What was that?" Madam Lu asked, her tone icy.

"Nothing!"

From the corner of the room, Zhang Wei was practically in tears, laughing so hard he could barely breathe. "Brother Lu! This is the greatest thing I've ever seen! You—washing dishes!"

Wei Jingyi watched silently, arms crossed, though her lips twitched as if she were holding back a smile.

"You're enjoying this too much," Lu Tian said, glaring at Zhang Wei.

"Of course I am," Zhang Wei replied, grinning. "You, the legendary salted fish, actually working? This is a once-in-a-lifetime event!"

"Enjoy it while it lasts," Lu Tian muttered, scrubbing the bowl with a renewed sense of defeat.

---

Later that evening, after the dishes were done, the Lu family gathered in the dining room for tea. Master Lu sat at the head of the table, his expression calm and unreadable. Madam Lu poured the tea with practiced elegance, her sharp gaze occasionally flicking to her son.

Lu Tian slouched in his seat, sipping his tea with the enthusiasm of someone being forced to drink medicine.

"So," Master Lu began, his deep voice breaking the silence. "Tian'er, how has your training been progressing at the academy?"

Zhang Wei perked up, a grin spreading across his face. "Uncle Lu, Brother Lu's been working really hard!"

Lu Tian shot him a betrayed look. "Don't help."

"Oh?" Master Lu raised an eyebrow. "Is that true, Tian'er? Have you been cultivating diligently?"

"Define 'diligently,'" Lu Tian said cautiously.

Madam Lu arched an eyebrow. "Define it however you like. The answer is still no, isn't it?"

Lu Tian scratched the back of his head, avoiding eye contact.

Master Lu sighed, setting his teacup down with a soft clink. "It seems you've fallen behind. Perhaps a sparring session will motivate you."

Lu Tian froze. "Sparring? With you?"

"Yes," Master Lu said calmly. "It's been too long since I've seen where your skills stand."

Zhang Wei nearly choked on his tea, coughing loudly. "This is going to be amazing! Uncle Lu versus Brother Lu? I can't wait!"

Lu Tian glared at him. "You're not helping."

Master Lu stood, his tall frame casting a long shadow across the room. "Come. We'll begin now."

"Now?!" Lu Tian exclaimed, his voice rising an octave.

Madam Lu sipped her tea, her expression neutral. "Go on, Tian'er. Consider it your punishment for taking so long with the dishes."

---

The Lu family's private training hall was a spacious arena filled with weapons, training dummies, and intricate formations carved into the floor. Lu Tian stood on one side of the ring, his shoulders slumped in resignation.

"This is a terrible idea," he muttered.

Master Lu stood on the opposite side, his posture straight and relaxed. His hands were clasped behind his back, as if he didn't even need to prepare.

"Ready?" Master Lu asked.

"Not really," Lu Tian replied.

Before he could say anything else, Master Lu moved. His figure blurred as he closed the distance in an instant, his palm striking toward Lu Tian's chest.

"Too fast!" Lu Tian yelped, stumbling backward.

The attack missed by a hair's breadth, and Lu Tian managed to dodge just in time. His movements were clumsy but effective, his instincts keeping him one step ahead of his father's precise strikes.

Zhang Wei and Wei Jingyi watched from the sidelines, their mouths hanging open.

"Did you see that?!" Zhang Wei whispered. "Brother Lu actually dodged!"

"Barely," Wei Jingyi said, though there was a hint of surprise in her tone.

The sparring match continued, with Master Lu's attacks forcing Lu Tian to stay on the defensive. Despite his usual laziness, Lu Tian's natural reflexes and talent kept him from getting hit.

Master Lu's expression remained calm, but his eyes sharpened as he observed his son's movements. "You're holding back, Tian'er. Stop running and fight."

"I'm not holding back!" Lu Tian exclaimed, dodging another strike. "I'm just trying not to die!"

Madam Lu entered the training hall, her arms crossed as she watched the match. "You're embarrassing yourself, Tian'er. If you keep running, your father might think you've forgotten how to fight entirely."

"Who says I ever learned?" Lu Tian muttered under his breath.

Master Lu suddenly stopped, lowering his hands. "That's enough for now."

Lu Tian collapsed onto the floor, gasping for breath.

"You have potential, Tian'er," Master Lu said, his tone measured. "But you lack discipline. If you don't take your training seriously, you'll never achieve anything."

Lu Tian groaned, too tired to argue.

"Get up," Madam Lu said, her tone brisk. "The floor is no place for a cultivator."

"I'm not a cultivator," Lu Tian muttered. "I'm a salted fish."

---

Later that night, Lu Tian lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. The system's voice chimed in, breaking the silence.

[New Mission: Practice foundational Qi circulation for 30 minutes. Penalty for failure: Pain Calibration Level 5.]

Lu Tian bolted upright. "Level 5? Are you insane?!"

[Motivation requires stakes, Host.]

"I just survived sparring with my dad! Can't I get a break?"

[The path of a cultivator requires constant effort.]

Thunder rumbled faintly outside the window, making Lu Tian flinch. He groaned and sat up, assuming the world's laziest meditation pose.

From the floor, Zhang Wei snored loudly, completely oblivious to his friend's misery.

"This is the worst life ever," Lu Tian muttered as he closed his eyes, resigning himself to his fate.

---