The Terminally-Ill Lord Desires Hospice Care

Betty brought out steaming hot coffee with a slightly tense expression and placed it before Rizehl and me.
While I didn’t personally prefer beverages like coffee, it didn’t seem like the atmosphere to nitpick such things.
Of course, the same could be said for Rizehl, who preferred tea.

“P, please feel free to talk…”
Since Rizehl had been captured by the bandits, her appearance was unsightly, so I had hastily provided some clothes, but…a gorgeous dress would have better suited her.

“You weren’t mistreated in any way, were you?”
“Eh, eh…?”
“So that I can decide how to deal with those bastards.”
As soon as I saw Rizehl’s disheveled state of being tied up, I unconsciously broke one of the bandits’ arms each.
Her answer would determine how I dealt with the rest of them.

“They didn’t really do anything…just said I was a precious hostage to collect a ransom for.”
“I see.”
If she was unharmed, that was enough.
I would have to apologize separately for breaking their arms.

“Big brother…?”

“Come to think of it, it’s rare for you to call me that.”
“W, well, that’s because…”
I was overjoyed. The fact that she called me ‘big brother’ nearly made me smile unconsciously.
Ever since that unfortunate incident, she had barely called me that, perhaps only a handful of times.
It was a pleasant surprise, which is why I brought it up, but Rizehl shrank back.

“By the way, what brings you here when you must be busy with the succession as lord?”
I had left instructions, but it wasn’t so simple that she could master it in such a short time.
While I had handled the major tasks, some minor budgetary issues remained, so she shouldn’t have been so idle as to leisurely drink coffee.

“To…meet you, brother…”
“I see. To eliminate any consequences, since having a child with me could become a problem in the future. A wise mindset.”
Eliminating factors that could cause issues with the succession was a nobleman’s duty.
Even though I had merely praised Rizehl for having that awareness befitting a lord, she seemed distressed and shrank back further.

“I came to apologize to you, brother…”
“Apologize…? I cannot comprehend those words at all. You, to me?”
“Didn’t I…say a lot of harsh things to you, brother? You only killed that person to protect me.”
“Ah, that matter.”
I wondered what she was talking about, but it seemed to be regarding the second prince I had killed previously.
Regarding that, I did feel guilty towards Rizehl. It had been my mistake to act without considering that she would not understand.
Even now, I regretted it. If I had met her at eye level and properly discussed it, that would not have happened.

“An unnecessary conversation. Your apology is not something I need.”
“Wh, what did you just say…?”
“I said I don’t need to hear your apology.”
Since my mistake had been the major issue, she didn’t need to apologize.
That’s why I rejected her apology. I was not an innocent being worthy of receiving apologies. No matter how much I suppressed my emotions, hatred was something I could not kill, a pitiful man that I was.

“I…see. It won’t be that simple.”
Rizehl dropped her head sadly.
“But where did you hear about that incident? If it was from my friends…”

“I, I looked into it personally. There were some parts that didn’t sit right with me.”
“…..It’s too late now.”
If something didn’t sit right, she should have looked into it immediately. But investigating years later seemed a bit too late.

“Yeah…I was too…too late.”
Rizehl gripped my sleeve with an inscrutable expression.
I didn’t understand. I had given her everything. She now held a position where she no longer had to bow her head to anyone, just as she had wanted.
I had given her a position close to the empire’s highest, so why did she make such a sad expression?

“I want to talk more…”
“Rizehl.”
“As much as I’ve hurt you with my words…! I want to talk amicably that much more…! Like the old days…yes, like when we were siblings…! So…brother…”

Tears began welling in Rizehl’s eyes.
For a moment, I wanted to wipe them away, but I knew she would dislike that, so I didn’t.

“Come back home…The position of lord suits you better, brother.”
“You speak too late.”
The lord’s succession ceremony was over, so it was quite absurd to return now.
Moreover, I had found a sense of stability in this village, which is why I said it was too late.
Yet Rizehl seemed utterly dazed by those words, as if deeply hurt.
Even though I didn’t want to see that.

“As I thought, my words were a great hurt to you, brother…”
“No.”
I didn’t want to see Rizehl’s crying face.
I had been fighting to avoid seeing that.

To keep my fight from being meaningless, I needed to stop her tears.
“Your words did not hurt me at all.”
“What…?”
“Since that day, all the words you’ve said to me.”
I met her at eye level and properly talked to soothe Rizehl.
So as not to leave the same regrets as before.

“Have become unable to reach my heart.”
Those words had merely become nourishment for ‘familiarity’, unable to greatly impact my heart.

“I…see…I’m sorry. I was too hasty…”
Then, as if unwilling to show me her face, Rizehl hurriedly turned her back and left the village in a frantic trembling.

I had made separate arrangements with the coachman and adventurers, so it shouldn’t be an issue, but something felt amiss.
It felt like the sediment remaining at the bottom of my heart had hardened into dregs, leaving me a bit uneasy.
What should I call this feeling? Did I say something wrong? I’m not sure. If I can’t even understand my own heart, how can I understand Rizehl’s?

But upon hearing that story, Camilla burst into raucous laughter, clutching her stomach.
“No, you did well, really well. You’ll have to experience that much someday, even if you untangle it later.”

“I don’t understand. What is there to untangle or experience?”
“We may understand your way of speaking, but that girl is still immature. There’s nothing more painful than a lack of communication, is there?”
“…I think making statements only you can understand is a bad habit.”
“It’s not your line to flap your gums about.”
She said that and chugged down a distilled liquor over 50% alcohol in one go.

“You’re starting to resemble our teacher.”
“…Do you really want to die?”
“I’ll be dead soon anyway, so don’t struggle too much.”
“I really don’t know how I ended up with a weasel like you…”
As if her stomach was burning, Camilla began gulping down the remaining liquor.
Under normal circumstances I would have avoided it, but today, this bitter distilled liquor tasted sweet to me as well.