The Unbelievers

Chapter 19

Eunseong’s body was in perfect condition. He was almost too healthy. These days, he was eating well, sleeping well, and without anyone bullying him, he had even gained some soft weight. His skin seemed smoother and more supple than before. This was because he was sleeping in a clean place, waking up to birdsong, eating and wearing good things, and breathing managed air. It was an environment he couldn’t have imagined in his old home where beer bottles used to roll around.

“By the way, do you always cover your tattoos when you go to work?”

“Hm?”

“The tattoos. On your neck and the back of your hands…”

Eunseong touched his own neck and the back of his hands. Yoo Siwoon’s eyes followed Eunseong’s hand, as if licking his neck and the clear skin on the back of his hands with his gaze.

“It’s not related to work, but I thought it might not be good for your emotional education.”

“…You’re covering them because of me?”

“Isn’t that obvious? If you see bad things, you’ll learn bad things.”

He said it as if it wasn’t a big deal. There were dressing bandages carefully covering the tattoos on his neck and the back of his hands, but they couldn’t hide everything. The pointy wolf ears were peeking out on both sides.

It was an unexpected answer. Eunseong had never thought it was because of him.

“But they’re not bad.”

“What?”

“The tattoos. I… I thought they suited you well.”

“…”

The wolf figure on his neck made his appearance even more mysterious, and the cross on the back of his hand looked like a real cross had been embedded due to his prominent knuckles. If seen from afar, one might have mistaken it for an accessory on his hand.

Eunseong’s face flushed as Yoo Siwoon stared too intently. Eunseong quickly changed the subject.

“I’d like to do some part-time work. Can I? I used to work constantly after school before.”

“Is there really a need for that? It seemed like money was being made by selling things diligently.”

“…”

Eunseong lifted his head in shock. Yoo Siwoon continued eating with his usual indifferent expression.

“Selling even things needed for studying is a bit…”

“…”

He muttered as if talking to himself, then lifted his gaze at Eunseong’s quiet reaction. Surprised eyes were looking at him blankly.

Yoo Siwoon knew all of Eunseong’s intentions. He saw through everything. The face that had prided itself on completely deceiving him turned bright red. It was shameful, as if caught in the act. His heart raced with panic, like being caught by the wrist while stealing.

“Why are you saving money?”

“…Because it’s necessary for living. You never know what might happen.”

“There shouldn’t be any inconveniences in your life here.”

“How can I trust you?”

Eunseong looked at him directly. It wasn’t just that there were no inconveniences; Yoo Siwoon was providing everything excessively. Eunseong was receiving more than enough from him. Everything was perfect, both materially and environmentally. However, emotionally, nothing was being filled.

His father hadn’t filled anything emotionally either, but there had been an exchange of emotions, even if negative. But Yoo Siwoon was excessively quiet, and there was barely any time to see his face except for brief moments in the morning. When Eunseong asked Director Nam anything, he only got selective answers. Eunseong was completely alone here.

“I don’t think I’m treating you so badly that I can’t even earn that much trust.”

“My dad also fed me and gave me a place to sleep.”

“…”

“How can I trust someone when no one tells me properly who you are or what you do? When I ask about you or the company, everyone pretends not to hear. They just change the subject. I can’t find anything even if I search the internet. I want to ask my dad, but he changed his phone number and disappeared. No matter how many times I try, it just says the number doesn’t exist!”

“…”

“Everything you’re saying could be lies. You might be deceiving me. If not, why would my father give up everything and run away with me? Are you hiding me because I might become the heir? Because I might take your place? You say you’re protecting me, keeping me safe, but aren’t you really just hiding me to prevent me from doing anything?”

“…”

Instead of scolding him for saying such ungrateful things when he was doing everything asked of him and granting all his wishes, Yoo Siwoon quietly put down his utensils.

He ran his hand over his face once. After rubbing his face in difficulty, he stared back at Eunseong.

For some reason, Eunseong’s eyes were filled with sorrow.

“Look even now. You can’t say anything. No one explains anything! If it were me, I’d talk, if only to clear up misunderstandings or because I felt wronged!”

“…”

It seemed that Eunseong had been trusting, or at least wanted to trust, Yoo Siwoon, who gave him milk instead of coffee in the morning and tried to fulfill his wants through others, even if not directly. Eunseong’s insides crumbled at Yoo Siwoon’s inability to respond to the statement that he wasn’t trusted, just looking at him in difficulty. It felt like betrayal. Eunseong wished he would scold him for being ungrateful, but he remained silent. Eunseong bit his lip hard, trying not to cry from the surging sorrow.

“That… As I said before, becoming the heir is a painfully unbearable task. That’s why your father ran away and hid with you.”

“…”

“My intention to protect you is sincere. I plan to do so no matter what happens.”

“Why protect me? From whom?”

“…From me.”

“…”

He was saying things that didn’t make sense. But that was his true feeling. Eunseong’s heart sank as he instinctively realized that his words were not a lie.

“I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“It’s better that you don’t.”

“I don’t like that. I want to know. It’s about me, so of course I should know.”

“I’ll explain later. Later… you’ll come to know the details gradually.”

“When is that? When exactly are you going to explain!”

Once again, he couldn’t answer. There was a sense of perfectionism that he wouldn’t lie even if he couldn’t speak.

Eunseong put down his spoon with an irritated clatter. Yoo Siwoon didn’t point out his impertinent attitude. Instead, he picked up his utensils and tried to continue eating normally while adding:

“Later.”

“…”

“Maybe soon.”

“…”

“Not now.”

The sound of rain falling could be heard dully from beyond the blackout curtains. Yoo Siwoon was looking down at the sleeping Eunseong. He had been wary of even entering this room, let alone encountering Eunseong frequently.

“…”

He was recalling what Eunseong had said during dinner. Eunseong had vented his sorrowful frustration as if he knew Yoo Siwoon was deliberately avoiding him. He said he was saving money because he couldn’t trust Yoo Siwoon, and because he couldn’t trust him, he couldn’t rely on him either. Eunseong had confronted him with suspicions that were reasonable given his situation, questioning if Yoo Siwoon was trying to use him. Yoo Siwoon should have soothed the child and somehow made him trust him, but he couldn’t do that.

He didn’t know why those words had slipped out.

It wasn’t that he needed to protect Eunseong from himself, but that he needed to protect him from them.

Now that his father had passed away, Yoo Siwoon was the only one who could protect Eunseong, yet he had pointed to himself, not them.

Saying he would protect Eunseong from himself.

Yoo Siwoon was confused. He rubbed his face and stroked his neck, unable to take his eyes off the sleeping Eunseong.

He stood still in the curtain of darkness, staring blankly at Eunseong.

To think of doing such a thing to a child like this…

It was something he couldn’t even dare to imagine. The more he thought about it, the more disgusting it became. He couldn’t even tolerate such thoughts passing through his mind. He shook his head roughly. He had to prevent it somehow. Erasing Eunseong’s existence from this world could be a way to prevent such things from happening in the first place.

Just hiding him in his private space like this wasn’t a good choice for either Yoo Siwoon or Eunseong. As time passed, Eunseong’s existence was irritatingly stimulating Yoo Siwoon’s nerves. He kept seeing that face, and when he couldn’t see it, he kept thinking about it.

It was just past midnight. Yoo Siwoon took out his phone from his back pocket and called somewhere while watching Eunseong. Director Nam seemed to be awake at this hour too, as his voice was heard before the call even rang a few times.

“Did I wake you?”

“No, not yet. What’s the matter?”

Even at this late hour, there wasn’t even a hint of hesitation in Director Nam’s voice. He trusted Yoo Siwoon and was ready to follow him. Yoo Siwoon had never been conscious of this before, but hearing Director Nam’s voice full of trust while facing Eunseong made him feel burdened, as if a thin string was tightening around his neck.

“It’s about Eunseong’s identity laundering.”

“So you’re thinking of going that route?”

“I think it’s best to go safely.”

“I’ll prepare for it.”

“Yes.”

The conversation ended briefly. Yoo Siwoon stared at the disconnected phone screen before putting it back in his pocket.

At that moment, Eunseong made a pained sound as if having a bad dream. Yoo Siwoon unconsciously approached Eunseong.

“Ugh… ugh… don’t… be careful of the head… don’t hit me.”