Through Bitter Ashes

It was a week before the start of term, and a certain know-it-all had already returned to Hogwarts. A full year had passed since she last set foot within its ancient halls, and the memory of that day remained etched in her mind—a day when the school had transformed into the epicenter of a fierce battle between light and darkness.

When Hermione had made the obvious decision to join Harry and Ron on their perilous quest to find and destroy Voldemort's Horcruxes, she had always known, deep down, that if they somehow managed to survive the war, she would return to Hogwarts to finish her education. It was never a question of if, but when.

Although difficult, considering the things that happened inside the school's walls during the final battle, she couldn't stay away for too long. As soon as she was mentally prepared to return to Hogwarts, a letter from the Headmaster arrived. Said letter informed her she got the Head Girl position that she secretly always wanted and she was required at school for some last minute preparations. Truth be told, the position didn't seem to hold the same meaning as it once did, but she really was thrilled about finally finishing her education.

After the war, the trio was presented with the opportunity to go back and finish their seventh year. To Hermione's surprise and disappointment, she was the only one willing to go back and finish her education. She was extremely happy about the possibility for the three of them to roam once more through the chilly corridors, this time spending their time actually focusing on their studies and not having to worry about dark wizards wanting to kill them at any moment. 

Although sad Harry and Ron were not with her, she knew Auror training for Harry and Quidditch for Ron were the best choices for them as they were never too passionate about academics anyway. Harry was grateful his efforts in the war had at least earned him his position without having to go back for his NEWTs. As for Ron, well, his talent as a keeper was enough to earn him a great position, but he could have easily joined Harry for Auror training. She could have probably pursued something as well, but there was not a doubt in her mind about returning to Hogwarts. 

As for her and Ron, even though she missed him, she knew they could make the distance work in their favor if they really cared about their relationship. And they most definitely did. It had not taken Ron more than a couple of months after they started dating to propose. She was too stunned to speak at the time and a million possibilities ran through her mind, but in the end she just couldn't accept it. She knew she wanted to marry him one day, but she couldn't see herself starting a family without at least finishing her education. To her relief, Ron had taken her response quite well and decided they'd wait until she had finished her seventh year. Of course, she hoped that he would be open to her starting some sort of career before they started their family, but that was a discussion she hoped they would have in the near future. 

Hogwarts was a very quiet place this time of year without the screaming and running around children, but Hermione knew that it wouldn't last for too long. In a week, the students would come back and all the peace and quiet would dissipate. But until then, she would enjoy her little time alone in the castle. Well, not entirely alone for there were professors as well around. Also the prefects. And the Head Boy, Draco Malfoy. She still couldn't understand how he got that position. After the Dark Lord's fall, she heard he had changed, but in her eyes, that did not make him suitable for that position. She just had to see with her own eyes how he had changed.

The first person that she saw when she got back to the castle was her Head of the House, professor Minerva McGonagall. The older witch welcomed her and then helped her find her new rooms. Being the Head Girl was a privilege. She got new quarters, she could stay after curfew a bit more, spend more time in the library. The only thing that bothered Hermione was the fact that she now had to share her quarters with him, the most arrogant Slytherin, Draco Malfoy. Well, maybe not the most arrogant as she was sure professor Snape held that position still, but a close second nonetheless. He might have changed, but it was not like she could easily forget his behaviour towards herself and her friends over the years.

When the two witches got to the new quarters, she was surprised to find that the common room was painted and decorated in the two houses' colors. Even though she did not like him and most of the Slytherin house, she had to admit that the Slytherin green and the Gryffindor gold created some kind of harmony that was pleasing to the eyes.

As Hermione stepped inside her new bedroom, she was surprised to see that it was five times larger than her old room in the Gryffindor Tower which she shared with three other girls! Instead of her old small four poster bed, she now owned a large double bed with a velvet headboard draped in the Gryffindor colors. On the wall to the left side of the bed, she saw a door that must have led to her own bathroom and on the right, there was her own library. There were at least four bookcases lined against the wall and her only thought was to sit in front of the fireplace opposite the bed and read a book from her own private collection. She immediately fell in love with that room. She was about to grab a book from the shelf when a knock on the door interrupted her. Hermione was so amazed by her new quarters and by the fact that she now had a private library, beside the small one she owned back at her parents' house, that she almost forgot about the professor who waited for her outside the door.

"Hermione, dear, I'm sure you will have time to read that book soon, but I'm afraid that we are expected to be in the Headmaster's office in a few minutes. We must hurry dear."

Hermione blushed slightly and then added "Of course, professor. I'm sorry, but I was so amazed by all of this that I almost forgot".

"Don't you worry! I'm quite pleased that you like it. I took the liberty of arranging and rearranging everything. If you should need anything, please do come and tell me. Or even if you do not, my door is always open and I would like someone to talk to beside Albus and Severus." Hermione thought the professor was going to roll her eyes at that.

She chuckled at that and she responded "Thank you, professor. I certainly will." Then they left for the Headmaster's office.

"Hermione, dear," her Head of House began again as they walked through the familiar corridors, her tone gentle but curious, "have you given any thought to your future? What are your plans after this year?"

The girl paused, considering her response carefully before speaking. "Well, yes, Professor. I've thought about it a lot, actually. I think I'd like to start an apprenticeship here at Hogwarts. I've always envisioned myself pursuing a career in academics, and there's no better way to do that than by teaching the next generation of witches and wizards. Plus," she added with a faint smile, "I love this castle, and I'm not quite ready to leave it just yet."

She left out any mention of Ron, deciding it wasn't a topic she wanted to broach – not with Professor McGonagall, and not when she and Ron hadn't properly discussed their futures together. This decision, at least, felt like her own.

"Oh! That's wonderful, my dear," Professor McGonagall responded, her face lighting up with genuine excitement. "Have you decided on the field? I know you would do exceptionally well in Transfiguration…" She trailed off, a hopeful gleam in her eyes.

Hermione smiled faintly, recognizing the hint in her Head of House's tone. She paused, carefully considering her words. "I'm not entirely sure yet, Professor. I do love Transfiguration, but I also enjoy Charms…" She hesitated for a moment before adding, almost cautiously, "...and Potions."

The admission felt heavier than the others, and Hermione's mind immediately conjured the image of Professor Snape's reaction to such an idea. He would almost certainly scoff, dismiss her interest, and find some sharp way to remind her she was better suited to another field. She suppressed a sigh at the thought.

McGonagall, however, seemed undeterred, her brow lifting slightly in curiosity. "Potions?" she echoed, a note of surprise in her voice. "That's… an interesting choice." Her tone was carefully neutral, though Hermione detected the slightest trace of hesitation—likely imagining the challenge of working under someone as exacting as Snape.

Hermione nodded, looking down at her hands as she fidgeted with the strap of her bag. "I know it's… unorthodox, perhaps. But I've always admired the precision and the challenge of it. And, well…" She hesitated again, feeling the weight of her honesty. "I think I could learn a lot under Professor Snape, even if he isn't the most approachable."

McGonagall regarded her thoughtfully for a moment, then offered a small, approving nod. "Well, Hermione, whatever path you choose, I have no doubt you'll excel. You've never been one to shy away from a challenge."

Hermione smiled gratefully, though her mind was already wandering to how she might broach the subject with Snape – if she dared.

After the war, professor Slughorn went back into retirement, finally being able to settle down as he was no longer on the run and professor Snape went back to teaching Potions. Since the Dark Lord was banished, the DADA position was no longer such a mandatory field of study, but Dumbledore elected an Auror to come to the Castle a couple of days to teach that class. Out of all the classes, DADA was the only one Hermione dropped right from the start. She felt she had enough knowledge and experience to last her a lifetime. Just the thought of going back and even talking about Dark Arts made her stomach turn.

She knew her Head of House and Professor Flitwick were both very fond of her, and the feeling was mutual. Their encouragement and kindness had always been a source of strength for her. But with Professor Snape, it was another story entirely.

Hermione had always sought his approval, though she could never quite explain why. Perhaps it was his exacting standards or the way his rare praise seemed more valuable than any compliment she'd ever received. It had driven her to study harder, perfect every potion, and ensure she knew the answer to every question he asked.

But despite her efforts, he had never acknowledged her. No matter how hard she worked, his reaction was always the same: irritation when she raised her hand, an impatient sneer when she spoke, and the faintest suggestion of disdain when he passed her desk. He barely even looked at her, as though her contributions weren't worth his attention.

Once, during her fifth year, she had been on the verge of confronting him about it, driven by a mix of frustration and hurt. She had even rehearsed what she would say, preparing to ask why he ignored her when she worked so hard to excel in his class. But when the moment came, she had faltered, the sharpness of his gaze and the chill of his demeanor stripping away her courage.

Hermione sighed at the memory. Her desire for his approval hadn't waned, despite everything. And now, the idea of seeking an apprenticeship in Potions felt even more daunting—not because of the work itself, but because it meant subjecting herself to his scrutiny, knowing full well that his acknowledgment might never come.

After the war, everything changed. When Harry had shown her and Ron the memories Snape had entrusted to him, Hermione's perspective on the man had shifted entirely. She was certain that, had Snape known he would survive, he would never have shared such intimate pieces of himself. But that didn't change the fact that she had seen them—they all had.

At the time, they hadn't known if Snape was going to make it. Yet, in those fleeting moments, the puzzle of his life had begun to fall into place. The man they had once viewed as an enemy—a cruel, vindictive presence looming over their school years—was revealed as something far more complicated. Misunderstood. Brave. Tragic.

Not all of his actions, especially toward Harry, could be excused. That much Hermione knew. Some of the things he had done and said would always be questionable, even reprehensible. But the knowledge of what he had endured, and the sacrifices he had made, left her feeling something unexpected: sympathy.

Hermione couldn't help but feel sorry for him, having borne so much pain and carried so many burdens alone. The glimpses into his memories had shown her the depth of his suffering, the sheer weight of his loyalty and love for Lily Potter, and the impossible choices he had faced.

Now, knowing he had survived, she found herself oddly relieved. For the first time, it seemed possible that he might have a chance at something better—a chance to leave behind the shadows of his past and live a life not ruled by secrets and war.

She just hoped that in this new chapter of his life, she no longer irritated him as much as she had before. Perhaps, with time, she might even find an opportunity to have a normal conversation with him—a real conversation, free from sarcasm and disdain. It wasn't much, but it was a start. And for Hermione, that small possibility was enough to keep her hopeful.

"Oh, I'm sure professor Flitwick would be more than happy to have you as his apprentice!" Minerva interrupted her thoughts. "He always said that he was proud of your performance in class and that he admired your ambition. As for Severus, I am sure that he would like to have you too…" the woman paused, distracted by a thought before ending, still distracted "When you have made your decision, please let me know so that I can help you."

"Of course, professor, thank you". Hermione responded. She noticed the pause in the professor's reply and she understood what she thought of. Professor Snape would not like to have her as his apprentice. But she still had a full year ahead of her before she had to make a decision and she wanted to focus on her exams first. Hermione continued hoping to end the discussion on the matter.

Minerva nodded, then she stopped in front of the gargoyle outside the Headmaster's office and whispered "lemon drop". The statue moved aside, letting the two women climb on the circular moving staircase up to Dumbledore's office.

The professor didn't have time to knock and the door opened. The room was full of people: all the prefects were there, the Head Boy, the Headmaster, professor Flitwick and professor Sprout. Headmaster Dumbledore motioned Hermione to sit down on the chair in front of his desk, next to Malfoy. She sat and turned her head to the left and caught Malfoy as he was staring at her with a strange look on his face. She wondered what was going through his mind. Physically, not much seemed to have changed in the Slytherin. The only thing that caught her attention was the fact that his face seemed more relaxed, he was even smiling from time to time!

The four prefects were scattered around the room and they were chatting with their Head of the houses. That was when she noticed that Snape was not present. She then realized that the last time that she saw him, he was dying by Nagini's bite. As soon as the snake had disappeared and they were left alone with him, she quickly cast her Patronus to alert her Head of the House. His injuries were so severe that only a miracle could keep him alive. Even though Harry and Ron needed her, she wanted to stay and help him, to do something. All she managed to do was close his gaping wounds and empty into his mouth a few healing and blood replenishing potions she had been carrying in her bottomless satchel. She couldn't just watch him die, something made her act right away. They then had to hurry away, so she wasn't sure her efforts even paid off until after the Dark Lord was banished and professor McGonagall informed her he was being treated at St. Mungo's. The effort to save him was apparently great, but successful due to the fact that they had already developed an antidote of sorts to Nagini's venom after it had attacked Arthur Weasley. In the end, professor Snape ended up spending a couple of months there before returning to teach at Hogwarts.

The Headmaster cleared his throat, interrupting Hermione's thoughts, and all the eyes were fixed on him as he started talking. As he did, her thoughts flew away again, thinking of the time he had made them all believe he was dead. What they had learned after the war was that he got the idea to fake his own death in order for Draco's mission to succeed and make Snape look as if he was on Voldemort's side completely. What they didn't initially know was that the Dark Lord was extremely dissatisfied with Snape's performance ever since the Death Eater's failure at the Ministry even though he did not partake in that mission. But he had to do a great gesture to secure his position. Him being the Occlumens that he is, he managed to fool the evil master to believe he actually killed the Headmaster. Nobody suspected anything since the spell Snape used was Avada Kedavra. But they had planned for months a way for Dumbledore to survive by using a device to entrap the magical force of the spell into it instead of the Headmaster. The professor just had to make sure he targeted that tiny device they created instead of Dumbledore. His fall and the 'dead' state was easy to fake and no Death Eater bothered to check his 'corpse' anyway. 

As the Elder wand was retrieved by Snape and given to Voldemort after Dumbledore's 'death', the spy rose to be the second in command. That was until the Headmaster resurfaced at the Hogwarts battle out of nowhere and with him he brought the tiara Horcrux of Rowena Ravenclaw which they immediately destroyed. He then also informed Harry his belief that the boy himself was a Horcrux. When Harry found out that information, he decided to go after Voldemort alone and surrender, but Hermione and Ron never left his side. That was when they came upon the horrible scene in the Shrieking Shack. Harry retrieved Snape's memories and they got back to the castle. 

"My dear students and colleagues." the Headmaster started and Hermione had to really make an effort to focus on his words. "I think you are all aware why I gathered you here today. As you well know, a new year is about to begin. The last one was a difficult one. We have suffered, we have bravely fought, we have lost friends, family, colleagues, but alas, life, as it always does, it moves on, never faltering. We can only be grateful that in the end, we have won and we did not have to live to see the world in a different light. Now, to return to our present, I think you already know your duty as prefects. " At the last sentence, the prefects nodded slowly." As for the new Head Girl and Head Boy, please let me congratulate Miss Hermione Granger and Mr. Draco Malfoy. I hope that the two of you will be an example for the other students and you will try to extinguish the fire between your houses." he said with a small smile. 

At his last remark, Hermione came to realize how it was that Malfoy got the position after all. It was common knowledge that everyone seemed to hate on people who had connections to the Dark Lord. It didn't matter that not every Slytherin was affiliated to him, the house as a whole was regarded as corrupted due to Salazar Slytherin's convictions and due to the real statistics that most people in Slytherin did join Voldemort's ranks. In the case of the students currently studying at Hogwarts, it was mostly the case of their parents or other family members, but the prejudice against them remained. So it had seemed like the Headmaster was aware of said prejudice and wanted to do something about it by setting an example. After all, if he could forgive the persons who were supposed to have been his executioners, everyone could put aside their bias towards the Slytherin house. 

Hermione noticed the familiar sparkle in Dumbledore's eyes as he addressed the room. "May I count on you too, Minerva? Severus?"

At the mention of his name, Hermione instinctively turned her head toward the doorway. There stood Snape, his dark robes blending seamlessly with the shadows behind him. She half-expected him to roll his eyes at the Headmaster's request, but his expression remained impassive, unreadable.

It was the first time Hermione had truly looked at him in over a year. During the war and its chaotic aftermath, nobody seemed to know exactly what Snape had been up to in those final months when the school had been shut down. Yet now, standing before her, he somehow looked different – almost younger, though she couldn't quite pinpoint why.

Perhaps it was the absence of the ever-present scowl that used to seem etched into his features, or the fact that his hair looked slightly less greasy than she remembered. Or maybe it was something deeper: the weight of serving two masters, the constant risk of discovery, and the crushing label of traitor were no longer pressing down on his shoulders. He no longer seemed as if he were preparing for battle at every moment.

Hermione frowned slightly, questioning her own observations. Perhaps it was all in her head. After all, she had never dared to examine his face this closely before. Her thoughts drifted back to the memory of him in the Shrieking Shack, pale and bleeding out on the dusty floor. She had been sure he was going to die that night, and yet here he stood. Had that really happened?

A voice pulled her from her thoughts – Professor McGonagall was saying something – but Hermione couldn't focus on the words. Her gaze lingered on Snape, still standing silently in the doorway, his expression unreadable. She was startled when his sharp eyes met hers, and a blush immediately crept across her cheeks.

The faintest flicker of irritation passed over his face, the familiar scowl returning as if on cue. Embarrassed, Hermione quickly averted her eyes, her heart fluttering uncomfortably in her chest.

From the corner of her eye, she noticed him stepping further into the room, his boots clicking softly against the floor as he began pacing near the back of the office. The rhythmic sound filled the space while Dumbledore continued his speech, though Hermione found it increasingly difficult to concentrate on anything but the man she had just been caught staring at.

When everything was finally settled, the gathering was dismissed; the only people asked to remain were professor Snape and professor McGonagall. The door closed behind the group of students and Hermione found herself standing by herself next to the gargoyle in front of Dumbledore's office. 

Everything was quiet around her. Outside it was almost dark and she narrowed her eyes to distinguish anything in front of her. She cast a quick Lumos to help her find her way back through the darkness and she started walking towards her new quarters. Normally, Hermione wasn't afraid of the dark. She had faced far worse things than shadows in her young life. But something about Hogwarts at night unsettled her now in a way it hadn't before. The memories were too vivid—blood on the stone floors, cries echoing through the corridors, the weight of so much loss pressing down on her. The castle, once a place of comfort and wonder, felt heavier now, haunted by what it had witnessed.

Her steps faltered as a question crept into her mind, unbidden but persistent: Had she made the right choice in coming back? She had been so certain, so eager to return to the castle, to finish what she had started, but now, the weight of its past – of her past – pressed down on her with every step.

She had changed. Everything had changed.

Lost in thought, Hermione didn't hear the soft footsteps behind her until a hand landed firmly on her shoulder. She gasped, spinning around instinctively, her wand snapping up to eye level, her heart pounding in her chest.

Her light illuminated the stern face of Professor Snape, his arms crossed under his chest and the familiar scowl etched deeply into his features. He stood there, unflinching, as if entirely unsurprised by her reaction.

"Miss Granger," he said coldly, his tone laced with irritation. "I would appreciate it if you refrained from assaulting me with your wand in the corridors."

Hermione immediately lowered her wand, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "Professor Snape! I – I'm sorry," she stammered, her heart still racing from the shock. "You startled me."

His dark eyes flicked to her wand before returning to her face. "Clearly," he replied dryly. "One might think you'd learned to expect the unexpected by now, given your penchant for danger."

Hermione bit back a retort, gripping her wand tightly as she forced herself to calm down. "I didn't hear you approach," she said instead, her voice quieter now.

"Perhaps you should pay more attention to your surroundings, Miss Granger," he said sharply. "Hogwarts may no longer be a battlefield, but that is no excuse for wandering about like an oblivious first-year."

Hermione exhaled slowly, reminding herself that snapping back wouldn't help. "Yes, sir," she said, her tone neutral.

Snape narrowed his eyes slightly, as though gauging her sincerity. Finally, he stepped back, his hands still folded across his chest. "Get to your quarters," he said curtly. "I trust you can manage the rest of the way without further incident."

"Yes, Professor," Hermione replied, her voice steadier now.

As he turned and strode away, his robes billowing in the dim light, Hermione remained frozen for a moment, her heart gradually returning to its normal rhythm. Shaking her head, she muttered to herself, "Some things never change."

And yet, as she resumed her walk, a small part of her couldn't help but wonder if she had changed too much to ever feel at home here again – or if, perhaps, she was simply seeing the castle, and its people, in a new light.

The Gryffindor stepped into the common room and froze, her eyes landing on an unexpected sight. There, sprawled on the couch in front of the fire, was her new roommate, Draco Malfoy, soundly asleep with a book resting on his chest.

Hermione blinked, momentarily stunned. She had to admit, she'd never pictured Malfoy reading, ever. The fact that he appeared to be engrossed enough to have fallen asleep mid-read was baffling in itself. More surprising still was the realization that she must have spent far longer in the corridors than she thought—Malfoy had attended the same meeting earlier, and yet here he was, already settled in.

Her eyes drifted to the book on his chest. From the look of the cover, though she couldn't make out the title, it appeared to be of Muggle origin. Her jaw nearly dropped at the realization. The thought of Draco Malfoy owning, let alone reading, a Muggle book was nothing short of astonishing.

For a moment, she debated leaving him undisturbed. But curiosity burned within her, and she considered stepping closer to confirm what he was reading. After all, how often did you catch a Malfoy in such an incongruous position?

Quickly making up her mind, she took a book she had been carrying in her small backpack and threw it loudly on the table next to him, causing him to jump from the couch with a panicked look on his face.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you" she started innocently.

"I'm sure you didn't…" he responded after he took in his surroundings and figured out what happened.

Hermione noticed that he was hiding his book at his back and she once again wondered what it was that he was reading, so she simply asked "What are you reading?"

He looked away, blushing slightly. "Nothing, just something I borrowed from a friend of mine, it's none of your business.", he responded in his well-known defensive tone. 

At that, Hermione started getting angry. By his suspicious behavior, he did not seem changed or remorseful. Also, what was the matter with him? It was just a book. She decided to let it go and tried again "How come you returned to school?" she asked bluntly, hoping to get a different behavior. 

He thought for a second before answering "Father wanted me to finish my education and made me return to Hogwarts. He also said something about family tradition, blah, blah." he rolled his eyes.

"So you didn't want to return to Hogwarts." She voiced her thoughts. 

He frowned. "Not really, no."

"I hate to say this but I actually agree with your father on that one. Education is very important!" she said as she paced back and forth in front of the Slytherin. He watched her with a worried look on his face. She looked like she was going to kill him and he sensed there was more to it than just the education comment she made. 

He didn't want to talk about that anymore, afraid that he might say something that he will regret later and he tried to change the subject instead. "I see that your beloved friends haven't returned to school." he pointed, hoping that she will let it go.

She shot him a quick look of disapproval before responding with a frown on her face "No, they had… other things to do." she sighed. 

"I see. Look, I didn't really have the opportunity to speak with them after the war, or to you, for that matter, but I really want you to know that I apologize for everything. I am really sorry for all the bad things I did and for all the… unkind words I addressed to you. I will try to make up for everything if you give me the chance. And I would like them to know that too."

The Gryffindor watched him in silence. She wasn't expecting that confession and she didn't know what to say. She wanted to believe him and let everything behind them, all the bad things and words, she wanted to forget them all, but it wasn't that easy. All those years, she never heard a good word from him and now she couldn't forget and forgive him so fast. Maybe in time she thought and then started "I hope that what you say is true and you are truly sorry, but I can't just erase everything that happened and I'm sure my friends can't either. I only hope that time will make it better."

He listened to her carefully and only nodded as she finished. She was obviously right, but he really wanted their forgiveness. He promised to himself that he would gain her trust and hopefully the others' as well. He would do anything to make it all go away. "I understand," he started "and I hope that this situation, the living together, isn't very tiresome for you." he knew that it wasn't easy living with what she thought of him until almost a year back, the enemy. Actually, for all he knew, she was still considering him the enemy. He hoped that she didn't, though. Even though they were only sharing the common room, the situation could be considered irksome for others, him included. Being the only child in the family could have that effect on him.

"Well, I would be lying if I'd tell you that I enjoy this, but sharing a common room isn't so difficult. I think that everything will work out just fine. " she said as she let out a sigh.

"I think so too," he agreed.