Debuffed Farmer

Ripping out its Life Bulb, I pulled my arm out of the decaying creature.

You’re probably wondering how I suddenly managed to locate the Life Bulb. Based on the last thing I said, you may very well believe my revelation regarding a ‘needle in a haystack’ brought me enlightenment. You’d be mistaken.

It was something in the shape of a dildo. Actually, a dildo was just an object in the shape of a penis. So I guess I grabbed a… wait, no, hold on.

Anyway, I’m sure you can extrapolate the rest.

I guess the term ‘life bulb’ was a bit of a double entendre.

*

The three of us sat on three edges of a square table.

“Clara.”

“Yes, Rin?”

“Do you have anything I can clean my hands with?”

“Just spit on them.”

No. I’ve already gone through this once a little while ago when I was discussing strategies to water my beans—it was completely fruitless and a worthless discussion.

“Do you have water or anything?” I asked.

I guess I could’ve used my {Infinite Watering Can}, but I don’t think it had even fully regenerated since the last time I used it on my beans.

No one responded.

Sigh.

“Anyways, how are we going to split the rewards?” I asked again.

“I don’t need anything~” replied Hyocal.

Clara looked at me.

It wasn’t that my vocabulary was limited. In fact, I’d say that my lexicon was quite extensive. However, there was not another word in the Cambridge English Dictionary (or even the Urban Dictionary lol) that could describe her motion. It was something so indescribable that it could only exist as a premonition toward certain demise.

“What do you mean split the rewards?”

And there it was. It was a completely unreasonable statement from the raven-haired cunt.

“We all worked together, so we split the rewards,” I argued.

“I don’t think so.”

“Okay, now you’re just being a prick. We both did work; we both get the rewards. If anything, I did more than you.”

“Hm.”

“I need to eat.”

“I don’t care.”

“Seria needs to eat.”

“Okay, you can have half.”

Oh my god.

Well, all is saved anyway. I guess I’ll take whatever at this point. Based on whatever knowledge I’d gained during my short stay in this unreasonable place, four gold coins would last me quite a while.

She grabbed some coins and opened her palm to me.

—Five gold coins.

Oh damn, she’s pretty generous (when it comes to Seria).

“Oh, um, thanks.”

…

Hyocal stood up and stretched out his arms.

“That was pretty fun~. I’ll play with you guys again, team.”

Without another word, he left the two of us alone. I would attribute it to his mysterious personality but honestly, it could just as easily be justified by the fact that none of our conversations were going anywhere and we weren’t talking about anything interesting. My social ineptitude didn’t help much.

Clara looked over at me (normally this time).

“What are you planning on doing now?” she asked.

Is this small talk?

“Are you flirting with me?”

“Don’t answer my question with another question.”

“Aren’t you supposed to say oh of course not~” I made a fruity gesture of flapping my wrist as I played her part of the conversation.

“I don’t know what picture of me you have in your mind, but it’s clearly inaccurate.”

“Oh, you’re just a normal teenage girl in my mind.”

“Don’t lie to yourself.”

“Oh of course not~” I made a fruity gesture of flapping my wr—

“I’m going to school to grab my textbook. Do you want to come with me?”

Character development?

Is this the beginning of a rom-com? She just asked me to go on a date with her to the school! It always begins like this!

“Of course! Let’s stop by the arcade on the way!”

“What? Why. No, I’m not going to the arcade.”

She glared at me unpleasantly.

Ah, maybe some things aren’t meant to be forced. Oh well, just walking to school is fine then, I was somewhat curious as to how the schools here worked anyway. Maybe I’d be able to register and learn whatever they were learning. I assume that they teach stuff about EM-waves and d-waves and all that jazz.

Like a couple fresh off the boat, we got up and made our way toward the school. Well, actually I followed behind her as she walked toward the school. I had no idea where it was.

“Can I attend the school too?”

“What?”

“I want to go to school. I wanna make friends and stuff—experience youth.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. Get your parents to register for you.”

“You know I don’t have parents here.”

She sighed.

“I’ll ask them about it then. Don’t get your hopes up, it’s like three-quarters of the way through the semester anyway. You probably wouldn’t be able to catch up.”

“Do they teach you how to fight and stuff?”

“Do you know what a school is? Of course, they don’t teach you how to fight and stuff. Go join a dojo or something if you want that.”

Oh, I guess this isn’t one of those battle animes where there’s a cool ranking system in the school and you fight for the top rank. Preferably one with an elusive student council that controls everything from the background, overpowering even the headmaster.

It’s just a normal-ass school here.

What a disappointment. Whatever the case, it’d still be nice to go to class and stuff. I don’t remember the last time I did anything like that.

All I did was stay at home doing nothing back in my old world. I wonder where I learned all of these martial arts skills… and my ability to speak English, and my ability to walk; I feel like I’m missing quite a large part of my childhood—a bit sus if I do say so myself.

We finally arrived at the tall metal gates of Gram High School.