Delusive Fate

#011

In this life, I decided not to be with Ki Baek-woo.

I need to separate myself from Baek-woo. I won’t see him as much as possible. I won’t feel any emotions. I just want to be comfortable now. I’m sick of being shaken. I want to rest alone where there’s no one else. Even though this damned game and story will eventually drag me in front of Baek-woo and kill me for his love, I’ll do this until I face that tiresome death that’s now even boring.

Let’s live as myself. Let’s forget all those childhood promises to live for Baek-woo, which haunted me like a ghost. Baek-woo doesn’t keep such promises anyway.

“You said to sign here, right? The owner isn’t coming?”

“Yes, young man, just sign there. The owner won’t come. I’m their proxy. Check this power of attorney.”

“Where should I sign… here?”

“Yes, there and below that. You’re really lucky, young man. If I didn’t have kids, I’d live here myself. The owner is a handsome rich guy, you know. He lives next door, you’ll recognize him right away when you see him. And there are lots of restaurants nearby. It’s really great to live here. Can’t compare to A district. Wait a moment. Oh my, I forgot to give you the account number. You can deposit the down payment to this account. You said you weren’t taking out a loan, right?”

“What about the realtor fee?”

“That’s after you move in. On the 1st of next month, check the date written here. Yes, sign here too. That’s it.”

I made the final signature and put down the pen. Ms. Bu Dong-suk handed me a yellow file labeled [Trustworthy Pro, Bu Dong-suk Real Estate] containing my copy of the contract and the down payment receipt. I felt a strange feeling and opened and closed the file a couple of times. A thin file containing a life separate from Ki Baek-woo.

If I can’t escape the inevitable ending anyway. If it’s my inescapable fate to be trivially consumed for Baek-woo forever… I don’t want to be sad, desperate, or struggle alone anymore. This life isn’t worth that.

“Young man, you’ve had it tough, right? Being in that hell-like place. It’s time for you to be comfortable now.”

“…Pardon?”

“Life is futile anyway, so you should at least live comfortably. Don’t you think, young man?”

Ms. Bu Dong-suk, sitting across from me sipping instant coffee, said nonchalantly.

I wonder what she knows to say that?

Even though I knew it wasn’t the case, I felt my breath quicken a bit. If this was comfort… it was the first I’d heard while dying and living and struggling alone more than twenty times. While I fell at Baek-woo’s feet, begging and clinging and feeling empty more than twenty times, no one told me to be comfortable. Not even myself.

Ms. Bu Dong-suk shrugged her shoulders as if it was nothing special and smiled.

“Why do you look so surprised? I mean A district. What else could be hell?”

“Ah, A district… Yes, I guess so.”

“You must have suffered a lot in that harsh place. Even as a hunter, you’re only C-class. That place just doesn’t suit you, young man. You’ll only have happy things happen in B district now.”

I nodded and smiled. Yes, it really doesn’t suit me. I want to be happy now. Actually, I’d just like to be able to rest quietly. As I was mumbling weakly, my phone on the table vibrated. The message content appeared on the lit screen.

chat

[Ki Baek-woo: When are you coming home, hyung? We’re eating dinner at home, right? I’ll make dinner in time, your favorite.] Now

chat

[Ki Baek-woo: Baek-woo style kimchi stew after a long time haha How about it, sounds delicious, right? lol] Now

chat

[Ki Baek-woo: Come quickly, I miss you Lee Han-sol] Now

I turned the phone face down and looked at Ms. Bu Dong-suk.

“After suffering so much, I should be comfortable now. I’m still human, after all.”

Whether I’m a supporting character or a decoration or whatever, I’m still a living person right now. So I should have some peace, even if just for a moment.

In three weeks, I will leave that house I had endured for 6 years in this life, and over 30 years across all lives. If I can’t break up with Baek-woo, I’ll at least distance myself. At least until I die again, I will be at peace.

***

Ki Baek-woo was noisy throughout the meal. No, not just during the meal. From the moment I came home, that bastard’s mouth had been moving non-stop.

The city that collapsed when Destruction appeared was rebuilt later, but it couldn’t be the same as before. The roads took the biggest hit. The highways connecting provinces, the tunnels connecting cities, the railways branching out in all directions. It was impossible to repair all of those shattered pieces.

The population decreased, and the roads were a mess. The state couldn’t maintain the administrative districts divided into 6 provinces. That’s why the existing administrative districts were bundled together and called meaningless names like A district and B district.

Anyway, because the road conditions worsened, distances that used to take only an hour or two now took twice as long to travel. Jae-i noona, whom I got to know when I was wandering the streets with Baek-woo, used to complain like this:

‘Wow, this is crossing the line. Even if the roads are messed up, this isn’t going from Seoul to Gyeonggi-do, it’s like we’re going down to Haenam, isn’t it? Auntie! I know it’s a bit weird to say this when I’m just hitching a ride, but are we really driving normally right now? I’m confident about traveling since I’m from Gyeonggi-do, but this is a bit too much!’

The house I returned to after contracting the B district jeonse property through Ms. Bu Dong-suk, retracing the road Jae-i noona had complained about back then.

I was prepared when I heard a crashing sound from inside as soon as I touched the door lock in front of the door.

This bastard Baek-woo… seems like he’s going to be really annoying today.

I frowned in advance as I opened the door, and saw Baek-woo with an unusually bright expression right away.

“Hyung!”

Baek-woo ran out to the shoe rack barefoot. He was like a dog greeting its owner. If he had a tail, it would have been spinning like a propeller. I couldn’t understand at all why he was acting like this.

“Hyung, you’re home? You’re a bit late. I’ve been waiting because you left without saying anything this morning.”

I stared at him, finding his behavior pathetic. Then this shameless bastard even tried to hug me, pretending to be happy to see me.

What the hell?

I laughed in disbelief. The series of actions flowed so smoothly that I didn’t have time to feel strange. Since hugging after coming home was our long-standing habit, I was about to naturally hug Baek-woo back when I hesitated.

If I hadn’t noticed that the muscles of his neck and arms right in front of me were stiff with tension, I might have really hugged him without thinking. After belatedly understanding the situation, I couldn’t even breathe.

Did this bastard Baek-woo throw away his conscience in the dungeon… Is this sly bastard trying to play games with me now?

Feeling very displeased with his antics, I pushed Baek-woo’s arm away with the back of my hand.

“Tch. Don’t you clean this up?”

Baek-woo seemed to hesitate for a moment at my grumpy tone, but soon smiled as if nothing had happened and snatched my bag.

“Hyung, you’re a bit late. But where did you go? You didn’t tell me when I asked in the morning, and you didn’t reply to my messages… Isn’t that too much? Who did you meet? I don’t think you had a raid today.”

“I went on a raid.”

“Come on… you didn’t. Did you secretly go somewhere without me?”

“How do you know whether I received a raid call or not to say it doesn’t seem like it?”

“Well… I had to contact the center and asked if you went on a raid, just out of curiosity. I didn’t call just to ask that, it was just by the way while I was calling.”

“Does the center just tell you that?”

“Huh?”

Baek-woo tilted his head as if puzzled. A stupid expression like he didn’t understand anything. I found it despicable and turned away irritably.

“Isn’t that not supposed to happen? Do hunters have no personal information or anything? Why would they just tell such things to others who aren’t even the person involved?”

“Uh… well, the center knows about our relationship, so we’re not strangers…”

“What if we’re not strangers.”

“No, that’s not it… Ah, right. Are you hungry?”

Baek-woo, who had been stumbling over his words with a bewildered attitude, awkwardly changed the subject. He seemed flustered because I was drawing a line on something we had never questioned before and had taken for granted. Baek-woo’s complexion paled a bit. Still, he tried to smile as if nothing had happened and eagerly changed the subject.

“You saw my message, right? I made kimchi stew today? Doesn’t it smell delicious? I’m Chef Ki, the King of Cooking today.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, so just wash your hands and come quickly. I also made rolled omelette and seasoned bean sprouts. And when I checked the center community, they had fish at the market today. I thought it had been a while since we had fish, so I bought mackerel and cutlassfish right away…”

“Baek-woo.”

“Yes?”

“How far are you going to follow me?”

I turned on the bathroom light, which I had already reached, and stopped Baek-woo. He was following me so closely that it seemed like he was about to come into the bathroom to see whether I washed my hands or not. Judging by his behavior, if left alone, he would probably offer to wash my hands for me or wait with a towel to dry them.

Moreover, Baek-woo was too noisy right now. I had expected him to be noisy, but it was worse than expected. It felt like my ears were about to bleed…

I seriously wondered why Baek-woo was acting like this.

What was he trying to do by watching my every move and being so eager to please me? It’s not like we could go back to how we were before. No, there’s no need to go back.

Lee Han-sol and Ki Baek-woo. “Us” became an empty shell with no meaning the moment Jung Yi-dam appeared. Now that Yi-dam has appeared, Baek-woo no longer loves me. Of course, I don’t love Baek-woo anymore either. We have no reason to try at all.

Standing in front of the bathroom, I stared directly at Baek-woo, and he was quiet for a very brief moment. Then he stepped back half a step and smiled brightly again. With his long eyes curving like crescents, he replied, “Okay, hyung.”

“Wash your hands and come. I’ll serve the rice.”

I turned around without answering. “I’ll wait in the kitchen,” Baek-woo said one more time reluctantly. I turned the sink water to the strongest pressure. I liked that Baek-woo’s presence was drowned out by the sound of water.