Does Spring Come Even for a Dying Esper

I should have done the same with Iberis.

Lucas felt a tightness in his chest and took a deep breath in and out. Suddenly, he thought that things had gone wrong from the very beginning.

Yes, it was a problem from the first meeting. He sank completely into the chair and recalled his first day here.

‘Why did I neglect it? My body had been strange for a long time.’

‘When a person is constantly sick, you know, at some point it becomes hard to gauge how serious it is.’

Iberis’s first impression was that of a patient waiting to die, without even a speck of will to live. He was different from the usual people given terminal diagnoses. With no desire for life, how could there be fear of death? It just felt like he was living because he happened to be alive for now.

As Lucas conversed with Iberis, he realized that Iberis was experiencing self-destructive depression and learned helplessness. And that this made him passive about treatment.

Naturally, Lucas didn’t like Iberis’s lack of motivation. Having been given the mission by Winfried to save Iberis, it was problematic if he died.

No, in fact, there was one more reason. Lucas saw his past self in Iberis. Iberis resembled him when he had wandered for nearly a year, unable to cope after losing his parents.

‘Lucas, don’t cry. What happened to Armand and Nadia, and Regina’s illness, it’s not your fault.’

‘But…’

‘The bad ones are those who killed your parents to cover up their corruption. You did nothing wrong.’

It was Winfried who reached out to Lucas, who suffered nightmares every night due to guilt that his sister might have to live with a lifelong disability because of him and regret for not protecting his parents. He took care of the Lucas siblings as if they were his own children. Not only that, but he also vowed to avenge his dead friends.

‘I will avenge them. It’s impossible right now… but someday I will definitely make those who killed Armand and Nadia and did this to you pay for their crimes.’

‘Revenge…?’

‘Yes. I have some data your parents sent me before. It’s likely to be buried if we reveal it now, so I’ll build up my power until no one can ignore me and gather more evidence. It will take a long time, but surely…’

‘I want to, I want to do it too!’

‘What?’

‘I’m my parents’ son. So I want to get revenge with you, Uncle. No, I have to do it!’

‘Are you sure? It’s going to be an extremely difficult path.’

‘It’s okay. If I can avenge my parents, I’d go through hell.’

‘Then I’ll help you. Let’s get revenge together.’

Instead of dissuading Lucas from dreaming of revenge, Winfried helped him. With his help, Lucas created a fake identity and entered medical school. It was also thanks to him creating a special exception that he was able to join the defense force earlier than initially planned.

Lucas thought that without Winfried’s support, the sense of duty to care for Regina, and the goal of avenging his parents, he might have ended up in the same state as Iberis.

From his perspective, the reason Iberis was still alive was due to his sense of responsibility towards his subordinates like Brenda and the families of his deceased colleagues. Ironically, the guilt that had tormented Iberis for the past few years had given him a reason not to die.

Realizing this, Lucas tried to stimulate Iberis’s emotions to persuade him to receive guidance and treatment. However, this was only a temporary stopgap measure.

No matter how self-sacrificing a person is, there’s a limit to living for others. Eventually, Iberis himself needed to develop a desire for life and a will to live for his own happiness, not just for others.

So Lucas conducted occasional psychological counseling sessions in addition to guidance and drug therapy. He learned that Iberis was trapped by guilt for being the sole survivor of the Hidden Dungeon incident and frustration at not being able to properly avenge his dead colleagues.

‘They told me to be happy. Some even said to forget about them and live well on my own.’

‘To be happy?’

‘Yes, to live long for their share too. It’s a very difficult last wish, isn’t it?’

‘…Was there nothing else?’

‘There was a lot. Everyone left a message. Some asked for revenge, others asked me to take care of their daughter…’

‘Is that why you support the bereaved families, Major?’

‘That’s part of it… I just feel sorry. Because of my whistleblowing, the families couldn’t even receive proper compensation. And former Major General Logan got off scot-free.’

‘…’

‘Anyway, that’s roughly what they said. I want to keep their last wishes as much as possible, but it’s not as easy as I thought. I thought I could at least live long if not happily. But to think I’d receive a terminal diagnosis. Life is truly unpredictable, isn’t it?’

The golden eyes darkened as he recalled Iberis talking about his dead teammates’ last wishes. At that time, Iberis showed no resentment towards his colleagues who had placed such a heavy burden on him.

From that composed appearance, Lucas seemed to understand why Iberis was so detached even in the face of death. He was still trapped in the wounds of that day, even after several years.

Although he might not have been aware of it himself, Iberis seemed to think that he too should have died with his team members back then. Nevertheless, the reason he had persevered until now was because of the words his colleagues left as they were dying. Those words had become shackles, keeping Iberis alive.

This was also why he showed an attitude of not avoiding death when it came, even though he lacked the courage to take his own life. Perhaps when Iberis received his terminal diagnosis, he felt not only despair but also a sense of liberation.

“Tsk.”

Suddenly overcome by inexplicable irritation, Lucas clicked his tongue. This time, he hoped his guess was wrong. The fact that Iberis wanted death was deeply unsettling to him.

Hasn’t he been getting better lately? Or not?

Lucas bit his lip with an inexplicable sense of urgency. All this time, he had been trying to restore Iberis’s will to live.

Knowing the pain of losing loved ones, Lucas thought the reason Iberis couldn’t overcome his grief was because he had no adults to rely on or colleagues to help him at the time.

When Lucas lost his parents, he had Winfried, the Caleb brothers, Regina, and others. But Iberis had no one. There was Brenda, who had gone through the same experience, but she was someone he had to protect, not someone he could rely on.

Because of this, Iberis, after escaping the Hidden Dungeon, had to deal with all the issues alone – whistleblowing, trials, supporting the bereaved families. It was the same after he was demoted to N-Zone.

Through several counseling sessions, Lucas could understand what Iberis needed. He needed peace of mind and someone to whom he could show his vulnerable side. He needed to find some enjoyment in daily life and develop a will to live.

And right now, Lucas was the only one who could play that role. Indeed, he was a demanding patient.

Lucas willingly decided to sacrifice himself for effective treatment. In fact, it wasn’t that difficult. He was already guiding Iberis daily, personally taking care of his meals and medicine. It was just a matter of paying a little more attention.

The strange thing was that taking care of Iberis wasn’t as bothersome as he thought it would be. Rather, it was quite enjoyable. Iberis, who was awkward in interacting with others, showed big reactions to each of Lucas’s words and actions.

Despite being uncomfortable with Lucas’s bold attempts to close the distance, Iberis tried to accept them somehow, his heart as gentle as his face, when he could have simply refused if he really disliked it. Sometimes he even approached first, awkwardly, as if wanting to return the kindness shown to him.

So Lucas found himself engrossed without realizing it. He wondered if this was how it felt when a stray cat that had always been wary and avoiding you suddenly came and rubbed against your leg.

As time passed, it became fun to see Iberis becoming more comfortable with him, and he felt proud seeing Iberis gradually opening up to him. Stupidly, not knowing it would come back to him like this.

“Sigh.”

Lucas felt a throbbing in his head and pressed his temples firmly with his hand. To be honest, it wasn’t Iberis’s fault. It was he who had failed to draw the line properly.

No, far from drawing a line, he often broke down the walls Iberis had built and invaded at will. After learning that Iberis was weak to people who cared about him, he pushed his own way even more. Living together was just one example.

Why on earth?

Lucas frowned, looking confused as he crossed his arms. He hadn’t realized it at the time, but looking back, he kept becoming emotional in front of Iberis, unlike how he was with others.

Why?

Lucas pondered and pondered to find out why Iberis had become more special to him than others. He felt that understanding the nature of the emotion shaking him now would help him decide how to move forward.

Come to think of it, he had been interested in Iberis from the beginning. Although he had forgotten about it for a while due to being busy, he couldn’t help but feel favorable towards the person who had exposed the corruption of Livio, who was likely responsible for his parents’ death.

Therefore, as Winfried said, he thought it wouldn’t be bad to establish a good relationship with Iberis and gain his cooperation. However, when he actually met Iberis, he was surprisingly lacking in enthusiasm for life and didn’t want to receive treatment from him. This sparked his competitive spirit.

Yes, at first it was clearly a sense of mission as a doctor and a sense of duty as a guide. When did that emotion change? As his contemplation deepened, a deep furrow formed between Lucas’s neat brows.

Was it when he thought it was nice to see color returning to Iberis’s corpse-like pale cheeks after receiving his guidance? When he realized that Iberis had a special connection with his deceased parents beyond what was known? When he felt a strange satisfaction seeing Iberis depend on and cling to him after a battle?

No, reasons don’t matter anymore. What’s the use of analyzing this now? What was certain was that he was now attracted to this person called Iberis.