I Became a Villainous Character with a Limited Lifespan

Episode 60

“While thinking that would be the case, why are you asking? If you can confirm it without asking, you should. Do you have to hear it from my mouth to feel good?”

Jae-young was just silently listening to Seung-hyun’s words. Seung-hyun continued speaking without even having time to think about what that silence meant.

“Do you all think I’m a monster obsessed with work, with no humanity? I don’t like that kind of life. That’s why I left everything behind, isn’t it? I absolutely hate getting involved in troublesome things and even if it’s not, I don’t want to get involved with other people. No matter what answer you want, this is my answer.”

To others, whether they misunderstood or not, he would have given up the conversation without trying to clear it up. Whether they thought of him as a monster, a cold-blooded or pathetic fool with no blood or tears, he didn’t care.

That’s why he gave up talking to Taeseong early on. After all, if it’s long, they’ll know what useless worries he had in a year at most.

“…So don’t worry. I have no intention of harming Mr. Lee Seon-hu.”

But it was different for Jae-young. Seung-hyun sighed after a long outpouring. He probably won’t believe it either. He didn’t say it thinking he’d believe it.

Still, he wanted to talk. Even if it’s a story that doesn’t make sense to the listener, wouldn’t it make sense to the speaker? Rather than ending it without any effort, he wanted to pour it out like this.

In one corner of his heart, he might still be hoping. If he was special to Jae-young, just as Jae-young was special to him, then maybe he would give a different answer from others.

‘That’s a foolish thought.’

Seung-hyun thought so and smiled slightly. It was fortunate that Jae-young couldn’t see his face now. If his face was seen, wouldn’t he be considered a really strange person?

―…That’s not why I asked. I…

Jae-young’s tone felt cautious. What would he say, no matter what answer comes back, it would be back to square one. Even though he thought so, Seung-hyun, who couldn’t let go of a little hope, didn’t hang up the phone.

―…Are you at home?

Jae-young asked. Seung-hyun didn’t answer, nor did he hang up, just quietly looking at the screen where the call was still connected.

Actually, he was afraid of what kind of answer would come back. Even though he thought it was natural for a bad answer to come back, he hoped the answer he thought of wouldn’t come back.

How long had it been like that? A tear that had quietly flowed down at some point fell from his cheek to under his chin.

The phone was still not disconnected, but there were no words coming over. Seung-hyun stared at the quite long call time and hung up the phone.

A new life with a limited period, did he take it too lightly? If it was going to be like this, it would have been better to die at once. Seung-hyun thought so and wiped his tears.

But sorrow, once it bursts, does not easily subside, and tears continued to flow silently.

“…?”

Then, the sound of a door opening was heard from a short distance away. No one is coming. The surprised Seung-hyun got up from his seat, opened the door and came out.

“……”

When he opened the door, it was Jae-young, whose face was slightly flushed as if he had run over. A tear that hadn’t been wiped away fell to the floor with a plop.

“Why are you crying?”

“…I don’t know either. Why am I crying…”

Seung-hyun was flustered and rubbed his still damp cheeks. That’s right, it was something he knew and thought was natural, so why was he so sad?

“Don’t cry. When Mr. Han Seung-hyun cries… I don’t know what to do.”

Jae-young took a step closer to Seung-hyun. Seung-hyun lowered his head and asked.

“Why. Because I’m not someone who would do that, because it’s different from what you knew?”

“…I don’t know much about Mr. Han Seung-hyun. I don’t think I know him well.”

Seung-hyun flinched at Jae-young’s words. A slightly trembling voice made Seung-hyun unable to move.

“Just by experiencing a little, I could tell he was different from the rumours. I… don’t know much about Mr. Han Seung-hyun. So I wanted to hear it directly from you.”

“If it’s about Mr. Lee Seon-hu…”

“I didn’t ask because I was worried about Seon-hu. I never thought the day would come when I would say this in my life… It’s been quite a while since I thought about Seon-hu.”

Seung-hyun slowly raised his head and met Jae-young’s gaze. The terribly shaking eyes let him know that he wasn’t lying.

It was the face of someone who was surprised that sincerity leaked out without being able to release it.

“More than Seon-hu, I’m more concerned about Mr. Han Seung-hyun’s affairs. To the extent that the things I thought about Seon-hu feel like a distant past, no, to the extent that I don’t even think about that time.”

“……”

“I asked because I wanted to hear it directly from Mr. Han Seung-hyun. It wasn’t to confront you or to get angry.”

“…Those words.”

Seung-hyun bit his lip slightly with a bit of a choked up feeling. It sounded like he would understand everything, and he wanted to put his hopes on Jae-young who was asking about him.

“No matter what I say, it sounds like you’ll believe me.”

At Seung-hyun’s words, Jae-young stiffened a little. The moment Seung-hyun was about to take a step back from him, thinking it was too much expectation after all, Jae-young pulled Seung-hyun.

“Don’t cry. If Mr. Han Seung-hyun cries… I don’t know what I can do for you.”

Was I crying again? Seung-hyun blinked, nestled in Jae-young’s arms. A large hand began patting his back as if to comfort him.

“It’s not that you don’t know what to do?”

“…I want to do something, anything… for you, but I don’t know what I can do for Mr. Han Seung-hyun.”

Seung-hyun smirked at the slightly strange words. Even with that smile, Jae-young couldn’t be reassured and hugged him tighter as if Seung-hyun would disappear.

“I believe you. Whatever Mr. Han Seung-hyun says.”

“…!”

At the following words, this time Seung-hyun froze like that. It was something he wanted to hear, but thought he wouldn’t be able to hear.

“In a state like now, I’ll probably believe it even if you say you made soybean paste with red beans. I think it’s strange even to me… Really, it is.”

“……”

“Is there anyone who knows how meaningless rumors are as much as I do? No, is that too arrogant of a thought?”

Seung-hyun slowly shook his head. There are many people who know ‘Han Seung-hyun’, but the only person who knows Seung-hyun now is Jae-young. Without noticing that small movement, Jae-young continued the story.

“I came because I wanted to believe, I wanted to believe whatever you say. I know I have no right to do this to you. Because I’m not Mr. Han Seung-hyun’s friend or anything. Still…”

The hand that was patting his back stopped. Jae-young, who couldn’t figure out what to say, said in an unconfident voice,

“To Mr. Han Seung-hyun, I may be just a sex partner, but to me, Mr. Han Seung-hyun is…”

“No, you can’t.”

Seung-hyun hurriedly raised his head and cut off Jae-young’s words. Even without hearing it, he knew, but still, he couldn’t hear these words.

If he heard those words, he wouldn’t be able to pretend not to know anymore, even if it was just for show, and he wouldn’t be able to hold onto Jae-young.

No matter how much he thought about it, even if he thought it was a selfish decision, Seung-hyun still liked Jae-young and needed him.

Just by his drooping voice, he would come running to find him, and even in a situation that was hard to understand, he would say he would believe whatever I say, how could he not love this warm embrace?

However, saying I love you could only be a sentence that ends this relationship. Seung-hyun shook his head desperately and said,

“Just don’t say those words. Please.”

Anyone else would surely click their tongue, saying they’re sick of the unkind attitude that doesn’t even give a reason, but Jae-young was also far from normal thinking.

A lot of the composure and belief that everything will be fine has disappeared, but one thing. He was sure he didn’t want to let go of this relationship.

“…Okay.”

Jae-young nodded without saying more. He was curious about what he was so afraid of that he desperately tried not to hear the words I love you, but if he could stay by his side just by not saying those words, he could refrain from asking.

‘But rather than being anxious alone, it would be nice to share the anxiety even a little.’

Now he just didn’t want to make him, who was so timid, tremble with anxiety. He wanted to be by his side, even if it meant getting into that gap.

It was okay even if he was called by a name he didn’t want, or by a relationship he never thought of.

“I won’t say it. If Mr. Han Seung-hyun tells me not to say it, I won’t say it for the rest of my life.”

“……”

“So stop crying. Your fever will rise again.”

In the end, the two who could not properly express their anxieties or push each other away were the same. Jae-young hugged Seung-hyun and comforted him for a long time even after his trembling subsided.

The evening of the two people who had the same heart and the same anxiety, but in the end could not fully understand each other, was passing by like that.