LIGHTNOVELWORLD Chapter 73 - The Density of Pain
Translator: Elisia
Editor/Proofreader: SemiPickle
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Get a grip. I have to create a happy ending.
The fake Han Si-Hoo sneered.
“Disappear!”
The Saintess shouted.
Bang.
The world burst apart.
The image of the fake Han Si-Hoo vanished, and the scenery changed.
“Now, the real memory will appear.”
Seo-Ah should be here this time.
The Saintess muttered.
A house appeared.
It was the house Seo-Ah used to live in.
Swaaah.
It was raining.
In the concrete yard, Seo-Ah was sitting.
In the rain.
“Seo-Ah—”
“Wait, don’t just start talking to her like that.”
“Why not?”
“Since we’re replaying her memories, if we intervene, the memory itself might be damaged. It’s better to just observe.”
The Saintess also wanted to see the real Yoo Seo-Ah’s memories.
This time, the purpose wasn’t to ruin the recollections.
From a slight distance, they watched Seo-Ah.
The rain didn’t stop.
And Seo-Ah kept sitting there.
She continued waiting for Han Si-Hoo.
Even though she knew he wouldn’t come.
“Ah…”
Seo-Ah smiled.
“Ahaha… Haha…”
Then silence again.
She stayed in the rain for a long time.
“To the next memory…”
“Wait, hold on. Can I at least say something—”
Seo-Ah turned her head toward them.
“Si-Hoo?”
She had seen him.
The Saintess stepped back, looking uncertain.
Han Si-Hoo ran toward Seo-Ah.
“Si-Hoo?”
Seo-Ah greeted him warmly.
“Yeah.”
“Did you come back? Really?”
No.
No, this was just a memory.
But wasn’t it a good thing, if even by distorting memories, a happy one could be created?
“Yeah.”
A lie.
“Ah, haha, hehehe. That’s a relief. Oh, thank you. You must be so busy!”
Han Si-Hoo was beginning to understand the situation.
It was shortly after he had entered the Academy.
When Seo-Ah had asked him to go stargazing together.
“No.”
“L-let’s go inside first! You’ll catch a cold if you stay in the rain.”
You’re the one who should be careful.
Han Si-Hoo followed Seo-Ah into the room.
“I thought you’d come. Right? I trusted you. You’re staying with me, aren’t you? Right? You didn’t grow tired of me, did you? I know you didn’t.”
The words “I trusted you” hurt so much.
Of course, there were reasons he couldn’t be with her, but even those were for Seo-Ah’s sake…
This was the right thing.
This was the right choice.
“You came back because you were worried about me?”
“Yeah.”
That’s right.
It should’ve been this way.
“I know you’re busy. You must have obligations… and I know there must be more reasons.”
“Huh?”
“Since the weather’s like this, we can’t see the stars anyway. Let’s do it later. So, you can go. We can hang out another time.”
This is how it should’ve been.
He should’ve gone to Seo-Ah.
He should’ve actually done this.
While wondering what more he could say, the scene changed.
Bang—!
It burst apart.
They were moved to another memory.
“Ah, did you want to talk more?”
The Saintess walked up beside him.
“Seo-Ah almost made eye contact with me.”
“…I see.”
“And don’t mistake these memories for reality. Just like that strange version of you appeared earlier, something weird might appear again… or these memories might already be distorted.”
Anyway, it was another new memory.
Wasn’t this a good thing?
If all bad memories could be turned into good ones.
If all the memories that disappointed Seo-Ah could be replaced with better ones.
Wouldn’t that be good?
It was Seo-Ah’s house again.
As he entered the room, he stopped.
Seo-Ah was standing in the bathroom, looking at the mirror.
A suffocating silence filled the air.
How much time had passed?
Seo-Ah murmured something.
Han Si-Hoo moved closer to eavesdrop.
“…Help me.”
But there was no one there to help.
“It’s hard…”
Han Si-Hoo wanted to approach Seo-Ah immediately.
But he held back the urge.
He wanted to shout that he could help.
But that would only be a lie.
This was just a memory.
It wasn’t real.
“You can help, can’t you?”
Who could help?
Seo-Ah was speaking to herself.
To something beyond herself.
“Please…”
She spoke in a small voice.
She murmured quietly, but he couldn’t make out the words.
“Really? You’ll help me?”
Then her voice suddenly grew louder.
She asked with hopeful excitement.
“That’s it, right… Ahaha…”
The Seo-Ah in the mirror didn’t answer.
She locked eyes with her reflection in a silent standoff.
And silence.
Yoo Seo-Ah stood still for a long time.
At a glance, she seemed to have fallen asleep on her feet.
Then, she opened her eyes again.
“Sigh…”
She let out a deep breath.
And stared at the mirror.
“I-I’ll figure it out somehow… Ah?”
Her eyes met those of the Seo-Ah in the mirror.
She noticed Han Si-Hoo’s presence.
“Han Si-Hoo?”
Seo-Ah bolted out of the bathroom.
Han Si-Hoo shouldn’t be here at this time.
“Ah, yeah. Seo-Ah.”
The Saintess quickly stepped aside.
Seo-Ah didn’t notice the Saintess.
If the Saintess joined the conversation, things would only get more complicated.
“Why are you here?”
Seo-Ah scanned the room.
Used syringes.
Leftover vials.
Things that she couldn’t let Han Si-Hoo see were scattered around.
“When, when did you come in? D-did you see it? Huh? Why are you—”
Han Si-Hoo hesitated, unsure how to respond.
Should he explain that he was peering into her memories?
“Right, yes. Han Si-Hoo, Han Si-Hoo, listen carefully. I don’t know why you’re here, but—”
Seo-Ah’s words poured out urgently, as if the situation was critical.
“Listen carefully! Make sure Seo-Ah doesn’t use the drugs. Do you see these syringes and vials? Seo-Ah is addicted, but it’s not too late to save her. I’m trying, but I’m reaching my limit.”
“Huh?”
It wasn’t what he expected her to say.
“You came back for Seo-Ah, didn’t you? Right? Find a solution as quickly as you can. You’re the protagonist, so you can do it.”
“The protagonist?”
“You have to save Yoo Seo-Ah. Your childhood friend is dying, dammit, it hurts so much. Anyway, save her. Somehow. I was planning to find you, but Seo-Ah didn’t want me to.”
This memory of Yoo Seo-Ah felt off.
It didn’t feel like Seo-Ah was speaking.
It reminded him of something like a split personality.
“She needs you. If I were the protagonist like you, I would’ve done anything to save her. Ah, quit the Academy quickly. They’re all bad people anyway.”
The words sounded as if she were sharing Han Si-Hoo’s perspective.
It was strange, as though she knew the future.
Words that Seo-Ah couldn’t have said at this point in time.
Was the memory distorted?
It was entirely possible.
The Saintess had already warned him.
“What are you talking about?”
“The doctor, that bastard… he’s connected to the Academy and the government… and… Ah, I’m already starting to forget. Damn it. Is this a hallucination too? It’s not, right?”
“Seo-Ah?”
Han Si-Hoo called her name.
“No, I’m not Yoo Seo-Ah… Ah, what was it again? Anyway, I’m not her. Seo-Ah is asleep right now.”
“Asleep?”
“I put her to sleep. She seemed so pitiful. For now, I’ll take the pain in her place. That way, Seo-Ah can at least hold on for a while… I’ll help, so go quickly and bring a proper doctor.”
Yoo Seo-Ah wobbled and clutched her head.
She looked like she was in pain.
“You, are you all right—”
“Go quickly. If I can’t hold on here… I’ll be consumed. The drug’s effects are too strong. Hurry. I don’t want to stay like this either.”
Yoo Seo-Ah urged him.
“When everything is resolved… I won’t be needed anymore. Then you can live happily with Seo-Ah.”
“You, who are you really?”
Someone other than Yoo Seo-Ah was there.
Even Han Si-Hoo could tell that much.
At the same time, he felt a strong will to protect Seo-Ah.
An unknown entity, yet still Yoo Seo-Ah.
A situation beyond comprehension.
“Ah, if you want to differentiate between me and Seo-Ah, ask if there’s a number in front of her eyes. If she sees it, it’s me. If not, it’s Seo-Ah. Got it? Do you understand?”
“Ah, I got it.”
Seo-Ah had mentioned something about a timer in front of her eyes before.
Han Si-Hoo was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information.
He couldn’t make sense of anything.
Bang-!
Once again, the scene burst apart.
It was a new memory.
Once again, inside the house.
It seemed most of Seo-Ah’s memories replayed near her home.
The Saintess stepped back, and Han Si-Hoo approached Seo-Ah.
The house was in chaos.
Seo-Ah was using drugs.
She was injecting a substance into a syringe.
“Ah, Si-Hoo?”
“Yeah.”
“You found a way, right? I’m sure… I think I mentioned it. I thought you could do it.”
No, he hadn’t found a way.
He’d only been wandering through memories.
This wasn’t reality.
“I’m sorry.”
He apologized.
There was no way to help.
It was the past.
“Huh? You didn’t find a way? Am I supposed to keep living like this? Ahaha. It’s fine. It’s not so bad. Seo-Ah didn’t get addicted for no reason.”
No matter how much the memories were altered, the truth didn’t change.
Han Si-Hoo hadn’t been able to help Yoo Seo-Ah.
“I’m sorry…”
“You didn’t do anything because you hated Seo-Ah. You could’ve found a way. Or did you hate me? Sorry for being a contaminant. You didn’t trust me?”
“I…”
“Seo-Ah is asleep again. I’ll use the drugs instead of the real Seo-Ah. Seo-Ah is too scared of needles anyway. One addict is enough.”
Seo-Ah’s hand holding the syringe trembled violently.
Her hand was full of scars.
The bathroom mirror that was intact in the previous memory was shattered.
Had she broken it?
“Who is that—”
Yoo Seo-Ah looked behind Han Si-Hoo.
White hair was peeking out.
The Saintess’s presence must not be revealed.
They had to move to the next memory.
Bang!
The scene changed again.
It was still inside the house.
But the interior was even more dilapidated.
The lights didn’t work.
The night was dark.
Even so, faint outlines were visible.
Seo-Ah was tied up with chains and ropes.
She was bound to a steel structure.
Seo-Ah was restrained.
In her own home.
Why? Who did this to her?
A key lay tossed far away on the floor.
It was for unlocking the rusty padlock on the chains.
“Seo-Ah?”
Han Si-Hoo approached Seo-Ah.
“Hey, don’t just rush in like that—”
The Saintess tried to stop him, suggesting they observe the situation, but it was too late.
Han Si-Hoo was already checking on Seo-Ah.
Whoever tied her up, Han Si-Hoo finally understood the chains in Seo-Ah’s house.
“Ugh?”
Seo-Ah reacted to Si-Hoo’s presence.
She was awake.
Yoo Seo-Ah was vividly and painfully awake.
“Are you okay? Who did this?”
“Drugs, quickly, drugs, drugs, give me.”
“Where are they?”
“I threw them away. Seo-Ah did. Over there, in the sewer next to the house. Quickly. I’m going to die. It hurts. I didn’t know it’d hurt this much.”
Yoo Seo-Ah had thrown away the drugs herself.
Han Si-Hoo realized who had tied Yoo Seo-Ah up.
None other than Yoo Seo-Ah herself.
There was a line in her diary about throwing away all the drugs.
Was it from that time?
“It was a mistake. Drugs. Please. There’s a key over there. Unlock me, and I’ll go get it myself. Aaah, it hurts…”
It was just a memory.
Even one distorted by Han Si-Hoo’s intervention.
He hoped it wasn’t something that had actually happened.
“Twelve minutes have passed. Ah. It hurts. Ahhh… Hurry, hurry. I can’t breathe, hurry—”
The timer had been counting negative for 12 minutes.
Yoo Seo-Ah had barely been holding on.
“Drugs, drugs, any substance.”
“—Let’s move on.”
They couldn’t watch any longer.
The Saintess agreed.
Han Si-Hoo couldn’t help the Seo-Ah in the memory.
Bang!
A new memory.
Seo-Ah was still tied up.
Her mouth hung open as she craved drugs.
“…The memory is the same?”
He asked the Saintess.
“No, it’s definitely a different memory… Maybe it’s because it’s such a traumatic one… Let’s move on to the next memory.”
Bang!
The same location appeared.
Seo-Ah was still tied up.
Bang!
She was still in the same spot.
The only signs of movement were the traces of her struggle.
There was some fluid and blood trickling down.
Bang, bang, bang…
They skipped the memories over ten times, but it was still the same place.
The nightmare didn’t end.
Seo-Ah was still tied up, her face frozen with saliva dripping halfway.
A puddle of bodily fluids gathered on the floor.
“…T-this…”
The Saintess spoke in a trembling voice.
“The focus is on vivid memories, but… just how long did this go on for…”
Usually, there are long gaps between memories.
But the density of pain was so high that this happened.
Still, even so, it usually only repeats two or three times before moving on to another memory.
With Yoo Seo-Ah, something was profoundly wrong.
“She was trapped here…”
Of course.
There was no one to save her.
Han Si-Hoo was at the Academy, and now no one else was there.
It was a reckless thing from the start.
Even if she stopped using drugs and recovered, she couldn’t escape on her own.
She had thrown the key far away.
Bang.
The memory shifted.
Seo-Ah was still in the same spot.
“If that’s the case, who ended up saving Seo-Ah…”
The Saintess asked.
If no one came to save Seo-Ah, she would have died in that miserable state.
But Seo-Ah didn’t die.
Which meant someone had saved her.
Who?
It wasn’t Han Si-Hoo.
He felt like he knew the answer.
Bang!
The Saintess tried shifting the memory again, but only painful memories of Seo-Ah replayed.
The same place.
The same person.
“Three…”
Seo-Ah mumbled suddenly.
With a despairing smile, she spoke.
“Three o’clock…”
It was now minus three hours.
She had already attempted suicide long ago but failed.
She had learned that biting one’s tongue wasn’t enough to die.
At least thirty years seemed to have passed.
The timer was lying to her.
That’s how Yoo Seo-Ah felt.
Until someone came to save Yoo Seo-Ah, for her, it was thirty hours.