I Start with a Bad Hand!

Cedric’s overly harsh rebuke and criticism, his inability to tolerate Dietrich’s unyielding gaze even when he forcefully pushed him, led to an excessive reaction. Even Roxanne, who had never brought up Dietrich in their conversations, suggested that Cedric should apologize to her.

If only his mother’s belongings hadn’t gone missing, he wouldn’t have become so agitated. However, the hairpin Roxanne wore was one of the few items that had returned with his mother’s body. It was the last possession she had. Seeing Dietrich stand there smugly wearing that hairpin was more than Cedric could bear.

Yet, it was a clear mistake.

Considering the disgraceful actions committed by Dietrich and her vulgar biological parents, what he had done was neither more nor less than a mistake. Since then, Cedric had been desperately trying to suppress the intermittent surges of anger and ignore Dietrich.

During those days, a trivial complaint overheard through a window sparked a new phase. 

“I ran all the way from the old building like a dog because they said it was onion steak today, what a joke.”

“Exactly, my point. If it’s called ‘onion steak’, logically, there should be onions served alongside the steak, not onions cooked like steak.”

“Right. If that’s the case, they should just call it roasted onions. This is ridiculous.”

Cedric unwittingly shifted his gaze outside the window at such a trivial complaint that it almost made him laugh.

‘Who raises their voice over such a trivial matter? With such a lack of tact.’

He followed the figure walking near the verdant flowerbeds. The voice was irritated, yet the expression was playful… It was that person. Now that he had identified who it was, he should look away.

An irresistible freshness held his gaze. The liveliness of the expression, the audacious tone, the strides that didn’t seem to realize they were dragging. Even when alone, except for a young maid, or when being dismissed, or even when angry, always speaking in an even tone with an almost indiscernible expression, now that person was grumbling about such a trivial thing. It was refreshing. Cedric frowned.

‘All this over onions.’

Caught unaware, he found himself unable to turn his eyes away, stopping in his tracks. At that moment, his gaze met Dietrich’s. As she continued walking without stopping, she disappeared behind a tall shrub and then reappeared.

In that brief moment, Dietrich had returned to her usual impassive, empty expression. The only lingering trace was sheer contempt.

Dietrich turned her head away. She leaned towards a student with bushy brown hair next to her, chatting about something, and then the two quickly walked off and disappeared.

Watching Dietrich until she completely disappeared, Cedric for the first time considered that perhaps she could hate him too. It was something he had never thought about before. But that didn’t mean he was ready to change his mind.

From a certain point, Dietrich had become the student who arrived at the academy first and left for the dorms last. When Cedric first encountered her in front of the training grounds at dawn, he thought it was a whim that wouldn’t last a day.

Yet, day after day, Dietrich continued to pass through the training grounds before dawn had even broken and headed to the archery range. Even when he couldn’t see her, he knew she was there; the sound of her dragging feet across the grass came every morning.

This constant presence irked Cedric relentlessly. 

With a face that looked as though he might jump out the window at any moment, carrying steps full of weariness, and a back that seemed desperately clinging to something. Cedric knew that desperation. He had a time when, no matter what, he couldn’t fill the void in his heart and had thrown himself into his immediate tasks. He was confident it wasn’t hard to understand what she was hoping for.

Me?

‘Disgusting, what am I even doing?’

He sighed with frustration. ‘Thinking I might understand ‘her’.’ He tried to suppress the anger rising from his own fragility.

News reached him that Dietrich had topped the academy. She was reportedly entangled with the eldest daughter of the Horatius family who was engaged with him, maneuvering behind the scenes. She had even won an autumn hunting festival, an event her mother had once won. She had also become very close with the Second Prince.

‘It’s futile.’

Cedric tried to convince himself. It was all futile. At best, Dietrich could aspire to a baronetcy, but with Elius likely to ascend as the next Emperor, there was little chance Dietrich would catch the imperial family’s eye.

‘The Second Prince will be sent to the northern snowfields as soon as Elius becomes Emperor…’

Then, she would end up in charge of her own small estate, achieving nothing more.

Yet, when Cedric saw Dietrich again after the holidays, still with a ghastly pale face, he felt strangely. Seeing Dietrich from afar, she stopped when she saw him and, without hesitation, jumped out of a window.

At first, he thought he was hallucinating from lack of sleep. But when he realized that it was only the first floor and saw Dietrich’s figure moving away peacefully, and after witnessing this behavior several times, he had to accept it was really her.

Eventually, Cedric was consumed by an impulse.

He hoped she wasn’t living on vain hope.

“I hope you don’t sink any lower than this.”

At least not in front of me.

***

“Dietrich!”

I heard the rapid footsteps approaching from behind. Without needing to look back, I recognized the refreshing voice and leisurely stopped walking. Klaus’s face was flushed as he caught up, breathing slightly heavily with a smile. His hair had grown a bit longer since the last time I saw him, now covering the forehead that was usually bare.

“It’s been a while.”

I’ll listen. Klaus, taking some of my load, wiped his sweat with his collar as he matched my pace. His exercise clothes, fitting snugly as if painted on, caught my eye.

‘Did you come straight from the training grounds?’

Suddenly, I was engulfed by a sense of incongruity. A feeling that something that should be there was missing.

“You seem very clean.”

“Huh?”

“You just exercised, but you smell good.”

Taken aback by my somewhat abrupt remark, Klaus sniffed himself and bashfully rubbed the back of his neck. His long neck flushed red.

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s strange.”

How did you survive there?

The source of the incongruity I felt from Klaus was an odorless freshness. Instead, a subtle scent seemed to emanate from his collar. Was it the smell of grass? Klaus said this with a smile. Glancing sideways, he seemed to have grown a bit taller.

“Have you been well?”

“Of course. Why haven’t you been at the academy lately?”

“Just some personal matters.”

Hmm. I knew this question would come. My vague response made Klaus hesitate before speaking.

“…I was worried.”

His eyebrows were slightly furrowed.

“It’s nothing serious. Really.”

I gently patted Klaus’s arm.

“How about you? How did you spend the vacation?”

“Just, taking some lessons for the successor….”

A hint of embarrassment colored his voice, causing me to almost stop walking, but I quickly continued. So Klaus was now taking lessons for the successor. I briefly ran my tongue over the rough inside of my mouth before changing the subject.

“Are you going to get lunch?”

“Yeah. What about you?”

“I have to review a class. I missed several sessions and it’s been tough. So, I’ll eat later.”

“What class?”

Klaus asked as he held the door open for me to enter the academy.

“Basic Theological Language.”

I hadn’t realized theological language was a mandatory course. I certainly wouldn’t have taken it otherwise. Klaus, noticing my troubled expression, asked nonchalantly,

“Hey, I took that last semester. Want to borrow my notes?”

“…Really? Are you sure?”

“Of course. So don’t skip your meal.”

Klaus handed back my belongings with a smile. I had been in a bind, as Agnes was in a different section and I had no one close enough to ask for notes. His uncreased smiling face sparkled in the sunlight.

“Thanks. I owe you one…”

“It’s okay, that’s what friends are for.”

Klaus patted my arm in the same way I had done to him, but more tentatively. Trying out this new gesture, he briefly met my eyes and then smiled shyly.

But as always, the comfort of an easy smile was fleeting.

“Degoph.”

As I watched Klaus leave, someone from a group that had just emerged from the training grounds called out to me. They wouldn’t dare approach when I was with Klaus.

The group included Logan and Devon. As I stared at Logan, he, as usual, absurdly wiped his sweaty upper lip with his sleeve.

‘What is he doing that his upper lip is always so sweaty?’

Aiden stepped forward, resting his hand on Logan’s shoulder. His eyes glinted with an indiscernible malice, as shiny as Logan’s wet upper lip.

“You seem busy. With Logan, and Devon…”

Still, I was glad I could talk to these foul-smelling fencing guys only when Klaus was not around.

“And now even trying to rise in the ranks through the Baronet. Makes you wonder how hard you’re trying to elevate your modest status.”

I didn’t want to show Klaus that his kindness could lead to such remarks, and I asked,

“Does that make you feel better?”