I’m Not a Saint, Not a Priest, Just a Healer

Bigrind lay on the bed with a pale face in the constantly shaking cabin.
Born in Evian, that place had been Bigrind’s world.
Leaving such a place and coming out into the outside world for the first time, and that too on such a huge ship, Bigrind was going through an ordeal.
Having to check what she had eaten after every meal was no small torment.
Although unintentional, it was quite painful to rush to the railing immediately after eating and pour it out into the blue sea water below.
“Saint, are you alright?”
“…I’m fine.”
Not being able to eat properly was painful enough, but it wasn’t just that; the dizziness and headache were also quite severe.
Yet, not being able to show it was also a pain.
She was a saint, after all.
Although there was still a procedure to receive ordination as a saint in Infula, the legitimacy was undoubted given that the Celestial Deity had directly descended and appointed Bigrind as a saint.
The ordination itself was just a formality, so she was essentially already a saint.
She accepted the water cup offered by the maid.
The cup made of porcelain held a faint warmth, indicating it was warm water.
After vomiting so much that her throat was now sore, the lukewarm water entering her stomach finally gave a feeling of calm.
“If you feel even a little unwell, please call us anytime, Saint.”
“Yes. I will do so. You may withdraw.”
Bigrind waved her hand to dismiss the maids.
After glancing at the maids who quietly bowed their heads and retreated backwards, Bigrind sipped the water little by little.
She had to travel like this by ship for nearly two weeks.
She had heard about seasickness before, but she hadn’t really thought much of it.
But experiencing it firsthand like this was no small matter.
“Phew…”
After finishing the warm water, Bigrind let out a long sigh.
Two weeks, two weeks… Only two days had passed, so she had to stay on this ship for over ten more days, which worried her.
The doctor said that after four or five days, one gets used to the ship’s rocking and it subsides, but that’s just what others say, and for Bigrind who was actually experiencing it, it wasn’t so easy to say.
“This is really driving me crazy.”
She felt like the speech pattern she had been trying hard to hide might slip out.
“Shi-”
And at that moment, a knock interrupted her words.

Knock knock.
“…Who is it?”

It’s Ludvik.
The hero, Ludvik.
At that voice, Bigrind’s brow furrowed involuntarily.
Honestly, it wasn’t a welcome visit.
But it wouldn’t do for the hero and the saint to be distant, yet getting too close wouldn’t be good either.
‘…I’ll just have to be careful.’
“Come in.”
The wooden door opened with a soft sound.
The shadow of a man taller than the door height stretched long into the room.
“Saint, excuse me.”
He was still a man with a refreshing smile.
The hero Ludvik.
Bigrind got down from the bed where she had been sitting, wrapped a shawl around herself, and greeted him.
“It’s no intrusion for the hero to visit. Please, sit here.”
Bigrind watched Ludvik sit down and tapped a small bowl containing a heating stone.
As she placed a tea set on the brazier with the heating stone that soon started glowing red, water began to boil with a small sound.
“I only have tea to offer, is that alright?”
“Ah, yes. That’s perfectly fine. I’ll enjoy it, Saint.”
He still answers well.
Bigrind stood with her back to Ludvik and sprinkled a few tea leaves into the teacup.
Pouring hot water over this would make the tea leaves expand and infuse the tea.
She then poured water from the boiling kettle into the teacup.
Steam rose, and Bigrind picked up the teacup and placed it in front of Ludvik.
“Please drink.”
“Oh my, I’ll enjoy it. Won’t you have any, Saint?”
“My stomach isn’t feeling well.”
Water might be alright, but if she drank this tea, it would likely come back up soon.
It wasn’t a sight she could show to someone with whom she already had an awkward distance.
“I heard your seasickness is severe.”
“Yes, it’s embarrassing.”
It wasn’t something to lie about, and since Ludvik clearly knew and came to visit, Bigrind honestly nodded. She wanted to add that even sitting face to face with him now was a bit uncomfortable, but that wouldn’t do.
“You seem to be fine, Hero.”
“Yes, well, I am.”
“Have you been on a ship before?”
“No, this is my first time too. It’s my first time, but you know, I’m from an adventurer background. So I adapt quickly to these kinds of environments. Besides, at the gold rank, these environments don’t particularly bother me.”
“I see.”
‘How very impressive of you.’
Bigrind sneered inwardly.
“Well, that’s me, but I thought you might be having a hard time, Saint. That’s why I came like this. To pay a sick visit.”
“I see. Thank you.”
Now would he leave soon?
It wouldn’t do for the hero and saint to have such a poor relationship, but he wasn’t someone to be viewed entirely favorably either.
Even before she became a saint, this was the hero who had drawn Yona closer first, rather than Bigrind herself.
Even when conquering the catacombs, saying that a saint should be by the hero’s side, he had pulled Yona, not Bigrind.
And that’s not all.
It was the same even after she was appointed as a saint.
Bigrind couldn’t feel good about Ludvik prioritizing Yona even when she, clearly the saint, was right beside him.
Moreover, trying to draw Yona into the hero’s party.
The fact that he didn’t even seek Bigrind’s consent in making that decision made her feel very hurt.
Because of this, even now, silence hung between them unless Ludvik unilaterally spoke.
Bigrind had nothing else to say, and Ludvik seemed to have run out of topics as well, just sitting quietly.
“…Hero.”
“Yes, Saint.”
“When you received your appointment as hero from the Celestial Deity, did the Deity descend?”
“Hmm- descent, descent…”
Ludvik recalled that time.
The radiance that suddenly shone before him while he was single-handedly clearing the eastern ancient castle among Marlen’s four ruins.
And the clear female voice he heard.
Although she didn’t reveal her form, to Ludvik’s understanding, it was undoubtedly a descent,
so he didn’t doubt it at all.
“Yes, that’s right. The words telling me to prevent the unprecedented disaster to come were undoubtedly from the Celestial Deity.”
“I see.”
“…Um, Saint, do you perhaps not have good feelings towards me?”
Bigrind closed her mouth at those words.
She thought it might be something that could be said indirectly.
She wondered if this was something to be said so directly.
“Feelings… you say.”
Bigrind closed her mouth.
It wasn’t so much that she was at a loss for words, but she needed time to organize her thoughts on what to say.
“Just a moment.”
After asking Ludvik’s understanding, Bigrind stood up from her seat.
Not much time had passed since she had boiled water earlier, so steam was still slightly escaping from the kettle. Bigrind tilted it to pour water, then returned to her seat.
“What feelings would be necessary between a hero and a saint, but while we dare not casually mention the divine, we are humans with emotions, not gods. If I were to speak based on these emotions…”
Bigrind closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
She picked up the cup, took a sip of the warm water, and very quietly caught her breath.
“Yes, I don’t have particularly good feelings towards you, Hero.”
“Why is that?”
Despite hearing “I don’t like you” to his face, Ludvik maintained a constant faint smile.
Somehow that smile felt annoying, and she felt a desire to tease him.
“Well, it’s because I can’t help but feel that you prioritize someone else over me, the saint who should be closest to you, Hero.”
“Are you talking about Yona?”
Bigrind slightly furrowed her brow.
How could he not speak indirectly at all?
Does he prefer speaking directly, only stating the main point?
‘It’s not like I enjoy speaking in roundabout ways either.’
Bigrind took another sip of the warm water.
“…Yes. That’s right.”
“I see. If you felt that way, it must have been my mistake. I was trying to form the most efficient party composition, but I think my explanation might have been lacking.”
Ludvik seemed to be speaking quite sincerely.
Bigrind felt somewhat embarrassed, as her complaint now seemed like that of a young child, but she felt strange again when Ludvik unexpectedly apologized like this.
“I’ll be more careful from now on. I won’t forget that the one who should be closest to me, as a member of my hero party, is you, Saint Bigrind. Please forgive my foolishness.”
“You, you don’t need to go that far.”
It’s a bit troublesome if he suddenly tries to close the distance too.
“From now on, I’ll pay full attention to you, Saint. Please let go of your anger.”
Actually, she wasn’t really angry.
Bigrind didn’t say that, but slowly nodded and drank the warm water.