Jikirukuto: Takoyuki Arc

Yuki threw her hands up dramatically, acting like she was in a high-stakes Netflix show. "Oh no, the scandal!" she exclaimed, her eyes wide in fake shock. "I've been found out!" She leaned in and whispered, like she was sharing a big secret. "The truth is... I'm in an underground platinum-smuggling ring! My real name? Platy McPlatinumFace! At night, I rob banks and floss with gold thread!"

She kept a completely straight face, daring anyone to take her seriously. It was the perfect way to make the old man's accusations look ridiculous. "Honestly, I've seen better villains in Saturday morning cartoons," she added with a smirk. "And trust me, I've analyzed every single episode with a bowl of cereal."

Prince Gabrielle, watching this chaos unfold, looked like he was questioning all his life choices. Raising an eyebrow, he turned to the old man. "So," he said with royal smugness, "do you actually have any proof? Or are you just enjoying your daily session of random accusations?"

The old man flailed like a fish out of water. "Proof?" he stammered. "Who needs proof when it's obvious? Just look at her!"

Yuki clutched her chest, pretending to be shocked. "Oh no, he's right!" she said, her voice shaking with fake fear. "Just look at me—with my super-normal face and boring outfit. I'm oozing 'thief energy'! If being broke was illegal, I'd already be rocking some platinum designer handcuffs!"

The crowd couldn't decide whether to laugh or believe her. Some people chuckled, realizing it was all a joke, while others genuinely looked confused.

Gabrielle, the only one still serious, fixed the old man with a cold stare. "You've made a serious accusation without any evidence," he said firmly. "Here, that's called slander. And I take slander just as seriously as Yuki takes sarcasm."

Yuki popped up beside him with a huge grin. "Oh, 100%! Sarcasm is my thing. Someone get me a sponsorship deal!"

The old man turned pale and stammered, "Y-you can't arrest me for just saying stuff! That's not fair!"

Yuki rolled her eyes. "Oh, sure," she said sarcastically. "Fairness is your biggest concern, right? Classic 'Karen' move—play the victim when things don't go your way. I'll give you an A+ for effort but a D- for execution. Try harder next time." She paused for dramatic effect, then delivered the final blow. "Trust me, I've seen worse. One time, a woman demanded to see the manager while I was literally holding the manager hostage. Now that was awkward."

By now, the crowd was laughing, the tension completely gone. The old man looked humiliated, Yuki had solidified her spot as the queen of sarcasm, and Gabrielle probably just wanted to escape to his quiet royal chambers. The whole scene was a lesson: sometimes the best way to handle ridiculous accusations isn't anger—it's humor, absurdity, and a big dose of self-awareness.