Just A Friend

#2

It was a third-year high school classroom. There was no way he could forget the place where he first met Kang Jihan. Suddenly, his arm was strongly grasped.

“Nam Seonwoo.”

As the tall figure stood up from his seat, Nam Seonwoo’s head moved along with it. The grip on his arm was so real that it made him wonder if this was really just a pre-death hallucination. Looking up at Kang Jihan who was now towering over him, Nam Seonwoo thought:

“What are you trying to do now?”

Why are you so tall for a high schooler? It’s annoying.

It hurt his pride to have to look up at this kid who was fifteen years younger than him. But more than that, his arm hurt so much. The pain was so intense that tears welled up in his eyes, and he couldn’t help but shout.

“You little brat, how dare you… Let go. Are you going to let go or not?”

To be treated like this by Kang Jihan, and a high school Kang Jihan at that, even in a hallucination. It was utterly miserable. As he groaned with physiological tears in his eyes, Kang Jihan’s grip suddenly loosened. Seizing the opportunity, Nam Seonwoo quickly pulled his arm free.

“Tch, already acting tough… You shouldn’t resort to force right off the bat, you know?”

Of course, he wasn’t one to talk after hitting Kang Jihan on the head earlier, but Nam Seonwoo was confident. After all, this was his dream or something like it.

Dream… Yes, the final dream before death. As if to confirm this fact, the bell rang. The familiar melody seemed to say it was time to go. Nam Seonwoo hurriedly said his goodbye.

“Anyway, live well. I’m going.”

As he patted the youthful face of his lover with the back of his hand, Kang Jihan’s mouth opened slightly. Nam Seonwoo smiled broadly at the look in his eyes, as if he was seeing a crazy person. In truth, he wanted to slap Kang Jihan, but seeing the Kang Jihan from those days of unrequited love with his own eyes, this seemed enough.

But something was strange.

“…?”

No matter how long he waited, the dream didn’t end. Why? In dramas or movies, the screen would suddenly fade to black at some point, but instead, his vision was becoming clearer and clearer. Moreover, the murmuring noise, the door suddenly opening, and then…

“Lunch break is over, you brats. Sit down.”

…Even the homeroom teacher’s voice, all of this was too vivid. Just in case, he squeezed his eyes shut, but the sounds continued.

“Nam Seonwoo, what’s that guy doing? Quickly, make him sit down.”

It was Park Gyuhyeon who shoved the bewildered Nam Seonwoo into his seat. After flashing an apologetic smile at Kang Jihan, Park Gyuhyeon hit Nam Seonwoo hard on the back of his head before returning to his seat.

* * *

The seventh period ended.

Nam Seonwoo stared blankly at the blackboard. Not only did he not understand what was going on, but after sitting in a hard chair for fifteen years and listening to classes, he felt dizzy.

“Those who are staying for night study, remain. And who’s on duty this week?”

Moreover, night study? Who does night study these days? Glancing at the timetable, it went until 10 PM. …He’d rather do overtime at work.

“Right, Jihan. Since that class president seems to have lost his mind today, Jihan, you distribute the phones before you leave.”

The gaze burning into the back of his head was uncomfortable. It was from where Kang Jihan was sitting. If he were the high school Nam Seonwoo, that gaze would have been more than welcome, even exciting, but not now. Unable to turn around, he just glared at the blackboard until the end of homeroom.

At first, he thought it was a dream that would end if he left the classroom. So he got up and left during class, but this dream showed no signs of ending. While being punished in the hallway after being dragged back by the homeroom teacher, he tried other methods. Thinking a strong shock might end it, he banged his head against the wall and even jumped out of a first-floor window. But all attempts failed.

By this point, an absurd thought began to take hold. The thought that all of this might not be a dream, that it might be reality.

He thought it couldn’t be possible. But the pain in his forehead and knees was vivid, and people with very clear features were exchanging specific words. The feeling of things that had seemed unreal gradually becoming realistic was very strange.

‘…Is this possible?’

Even time capsules haven’t been invented yet, let alone time travel. There were no shamans or religious people in his family history. No, that wasn’t important right now. If this really was reality…

“Hey.”

It seemed things had gone to shit.

As he looked up at the voice, Kang Jihan was standing in front of his desk. The already large guy looked even more intimidating from a seated position. Nam Seonwoo gulped. He had no idea how to handle this situation.

“Uh… H-hello?”

Of course, there was no way Kang Jihan would return the greeting. Feeling awkward, Nam Seonwoo lowered his hand, and Kang Jihan held out what he was carrying. It was the phone collection box. Nam Seonwoo hesitated for a moment, looking at the uniformly bulky slide phones. As he stared at those pieces of junk with eyes full of wonder and nostalgia, he felt piercing gazes on him again.

“Ah, sorry.”

He took out his phone, intending to quickly check his messages before handing it over for the start of night study. But Kang Jihan’s expression wasn’t good.

…Why is that? As he was trying to read the situation, Kang Jihan raised an eyebrow and said,

“That’s mine.”

“Huh?”

He had inadvertently picked up the most shabby-looking phone. The fact that one of those bulky pieces of junk was his own phone hadn’t yet registered in Nam Seonwoo’s mind. He hurriedly put the phone back and laughed awkwardly.

“Wow, you use a nice phone.”

But Kang Jihan didn’t even bother to answer and just walked away.

‘…Not even worth associating with, huh?’

Why did I ever like such a jerk? Was this kind of attitude cool back then? As he glared at the annoying back of Kang Jihan’s head, he noticed the bag slung over one shoulder. Looking ready to leave the classroom at any moment, Kang Jihan was taking over the class president’s duties.

‘Come to think of it…’

Kang Jihan didn’t do night study. It was because of his part-time job. When he found out that this guy from a good family was doing delivery work until dawn, it was puzzling, but even that seemed cool at the time. Anyway, Nam Seonwoo, who knew everything about Kang Jihan, also knew that he needed to leave quickly now.

“I’ll do it.”

As he snatched the collection box from Kang Jihan’s hand, a quiet gaze turned towards him.

“Go. You need to leave, right?”

It’s my job anyway, he added. Kang Jihan didn’t say anything in response. He wasn’t expecting a thank you or anything, but watching Kang Jihan’s back as he left the classroom without a word felt really cold.

Maybe that’s why Nam Seonwoo’s lips moved on their own.

“Hey, um…”

He called out to stop him, but he hadn’t thought of what to say. It was always like this with Kang Jihan. But this wasn’t about trying to continue the conversation out of lingering feelings. From Kang Jihan’s perspective, he had been suddenly hit on the head for no reason. How bewildered must he have felt? An apology was necessary.

“I’m sorry about earlier.”

What excuse should he make? I have sleepwalking issues? …That’s lame. You look like someone I know? That’s even lamer. Any excuse would sound pathetic. So he squeezed his eyes shut and said,

“Hit me back. No, hit me twice.”

He said it loudly, but he was actually a bit scared. Even if he was a high school student, this was Kang Jihan. The Kang Jihan who was rumored to be a sports scholarship transfer student due to his physique. His tightly closed eyelids trembled slightly.

“…”

In the ensuing silence, he slightly opened one eye, only to find that Kang Jihan had already disappeared. As he was scratching his cheek, Park Gyuhyeon came over and put an arm around his shoulder.

“What’s wrong with you today? Did you go crazy from studying too much?”

“That’s not bad. I should have said that.”

It was much better than excuses like sleepwalking. Nam Seonwoo decided to use that explanation later. Though Kang Jihan probably wouldn’t care to ask anyway.

Seeing the young Kang Jihan had made him feel a bit uneasy, but Park Gyuhyeon was just Park Gyuhyeon. As the familiar Park Gyuhyeon, who seemed like he had just seen him yesterday, chattered away, Nam Seonwoo quickly tried to organize the situation.

If only you could turn back time. It’s a thought everyone has had at least once in their life. To hit the jackpot with lottery or stocks, or to go back to a regrettable turning point and make a different choice.

But Nam Seonwoo didn’t go around memorizing lottery numbers. He had never even bought a ticket, so how could he memorize them? He suddenly felt like he had lived his life too boringly. Moreover…

‘Why did it have to be the third year of high school?’

This was the time when he had studied even more intensely than when preparing for the teacher certification exam. He had long forgotten all that useless college entrance exam studying that was of no help in life. Even if he took the exam again, there was no way he could get into a better university. There was no place ‘better’ than the university Nam Seonwoo had attended.

In other words, he was in a situation where he had to study like crazy with a brain that had already solidified, and if he was unlucky, his academic background could even become worse.

“Haah…”

It was a waste of time to dwell on how and why he had become a third-year high school student in South Korea. This wasn’t like a final movie played on the path to death, but a reality that had already happened.

So the conclusion he reached was this: It seemed like an opportunity to live life again. If there really was such a transcendent being, maybe it felt sorry for him dying so pathetically after being pushed around by Kang Jihan, and so threw him into this 19-year-old classroom where he first met Kang Jihan.

“Anyway, Nam Seonwoo. You’ve always been bothering Kang Jihan, but I never imagined you’d suddenly go crazy. I’ve imagined Kang Jihan beating you up though.”

There were no remnants of feelings left for Kang Jihan. So he thought he might be able to see things he couldn’t see back then and make different choices.

“Can’t you see how annoyed he is? What good will come from getting involved with him… Stop trying to talk to him from now on.”

“Yeah. That’s the plan.”

In fact, maybe he had known deep down at some point. That Kang Jihan was dating him out of a sense of obligation.

Kang Jihan, who had been just average in class rankings, getting into the same university as Nam Seonwoo was largely due to Nam Seonwoo’s help, to put it mildly. Maybe that’s why he accepted the confession from a guy offered so half-heartedly, and maintained the lukewarm relationship until Nam Seonwoo, worn out on his own, dropped out. Kang Jihan was always clear about give and take.

“Bastard.”

If I help you again this time, I’m the idiot. Glaring at Kang Jihan’s empty desk, Nam Seonwoo made a vow. That he would never get involved with Kang Jihan again.