Just A Friend

#3

* * *

Contrary to his worries, Nam Seonwoo quickly adapted to his high school senior life. It seemed his physical strength had returned to that of a 19-year-old, clearly different from his 30-something self who used to collapse right after work.

He had also grown accustomed to the classroom scenery. He had reached a point where he no longer laughed at the sight of those tacky bowl cuts and what seemed to be mohawks filling the classroom. Of course, his speech habits often betrayed his maturity, but the boys in the class just took it as a joke.

However, what he still couldn’t get used to was sitting for long periods on hard chairs. His back ached terribly, and his buttocks felt like they were being flattened. That’s why Nam Seonwoo favored the tall desk at the back of the classroom, commonly known as the ‘wake-up desk’.

Even during break time, as he stood at the back stretching, one of the bowl-cut heads at the front shouted, his uniform fluttering:

“Wow, it’s really freaking hot. Class president! When can we turn on the air conditioner?”

Despite the distance, Nam Seonwoo felt he could smell the sweat. Another boy was uselessly kicking the non-functioning air conditioner. Feeling as if the fine dust was settling on his uniform, Nam Seonwoo furrowed his brow and answered:

“No matter how much you press it, it won’t turn on. They said they’d only turn it on when it’s over 28 degrees, remember?”

“That doesn’t make sense! Shit. The teachers’ office has their AC blasting!”

You’re making it hotter by jumping around like that. Clicking his tongue, Nam Seonwoo offered some advice that would be good for them:

“If you just stay still, you’ll naturally feel cooler.”

His words fell on deaf ears with the heat-stricken high school boys. They just snickered, saying “What an old man,” before turning their attention to talk about a newly released game.

‘That game, it’ll fail spectacularly in a year.’

He didn’t feel particularly inclined to tell them. They wouldn’t listen anyway. Nam Seonwoo rested his chin on his hand and gazed at the square space that encompassed his view.

The atmosphere of this class, his last classroom as a high school senior, wasn’t bad. In fact, it was rather good. There weren’t any particular cliques formed, and whether it was games or soccer, they grouped together based on their interests at the time. But as always, there were those who didn’t fit in. Usually, it was the socially awkward otakus or the delinquents who had given up on studying. However…

‘Can you really call him a delinquent?’

The outlier in this class was Kang Jihan. It was hard to call him a delinquent because he attended school regularly and didn’t pick fights with teachers or classmates. But it was also difficult to see him as a model student. Rumors of him riding a motorcycle were already widespread, and above all, his appearance didn’t fit the ‘model student’ mold.

Nam Seonwoo’s gaze unconsciously fixed on Kang Jihan’s face, slightly visible from the side. Despite his resolve not to get involved, he couldn’t help but look. It was natural to end up observing Kang Jihan, as he couldn’t suddenly start cramming high school textbooks overnight or giggling with the high school kids.

If one word could describe Kang Jihan, it would be ‘intense’.

It wasn’t that his eyebrows were exceptionally thick or his features incredibly prominent, but he gave off that impression. Of course, there were rumors that he might be on a sports team due to his thick, dark build, but he was far from the typical dull, slow impression of athletes.

Nam Seonwoo’s gaze swept over Kang Jihan’s broad shoulders and returned to his face. Unlike his thick body lines, his eyes with shallow double eyelids always seemed to tilt upwards as if angry. A straight nose bridge and tightly closed lips. All these features combined gave Kang Jihan’s face a mysteriously hazy atmosphere. Amidst the blurry-faced boys in the cramped classroom, Kang Jihan stood out to the point of feeling out of place.

‘If it weren’t for that face…’

Nam Seonwoo shook his head vigorously. While his initial attraction might have been due to Kang Jihan’s appearance, that wasn’t the only reason he had developed feelings for him.

It felt as if there was some invisible line drawn around Kang Jihan. Perhaps due to his bored expression and languid yet heavy gait, even the air particles around him seemed to sink heavily when he passed by.

‘Acting all high and mighty when he’s just another high school kid, how annoying.’ That was Nam Seonwoo’s first impression of Kang Jihan.

Nam Seonwoo thought he was quite good at reading people. But Kang Jihan was the exception. Kang Jihan was quite diligent in group projects and performance evaluations that Nam Seonwoo had assumed he would slack off on, and he was respectful to teachers who nitpicked over trivial things, never talking back.

As he discovered these unexpected sides one by one, Nam Seonwoo found himself paying excessive attention to another male student.

At first, he thought he just wanted to be friends. So during breaks and lunch times, whenever he had even a little time, he would approach Kang Jihan. The classroom floor felt like soft dough as he approached him, and the way back to his seat after a brief conversation felt like walking on clouds.

‘How innocent I was.’

A chuckle escaped him. The fateful feeling when he overheard a melody leaking from Kang Jihan’s earphones that only he knew, Kang Jihan’s pitch-black eyes that lingered a bit longer than usual when Nam Seonwoo said, “I like that song too,” and the way his shoulders slightly trembled as his eardrums tingled at Kang Jihan’s neat bass voice that could only be heard during presentations. Back then, he was truly captivated by everything that made up Kang Jihan.

He still can’t forget the day he had a wet dream about Kang Jihan. It was such a shock in his 19 years of life that he even skipped school that day. ‘What am I doing, fantasizing about a man? I must be crazy.’ But such thoughts didn’t even last a day. As soon as he saw Kang Jihan the next day, he had no choice but to accept the nature of the emotions he had been harboring.

Being immersed in Kang Jihan. That alone made each day vibrant with life. He would jump out of bed every morning and rush to school, and instead of sighing at the packed schedule, he was excited about the breaks in between where he could exchange words with Kang Jihan.

“…”

Recalling how fervently he had liked Kang Jihan made him feel strange. Nam Seonwoo shook his head vigorously as if to shake off his reverie.

The class, which had started at some point without him noticing, was already half over. As he stared blankly at the words filling the blackboard, Park Gyuhyeon came to the back of the room, yawning widely. He brazenly rested his arms on the tall desk where Nam Seonwoo was standing.

“It’s cramped. Move away.”

“Did you rent this space? It’s clearly public property, why are you using it all day?”

“First come, first served, you know?”

“I’ll just put my books here, just the books. My arms are tired.”

“Quiet back there. Save your love whispers for after class.”

The class turned around and giggled at the two of them. Only Kang Jihan didn’t turn back. His back of the head, facing straight ahead as if he didn’t have a shred of interest, was irritating.

‘Still annoying.’

Once again, his first impression of high school Kang Jihan was the same. Let’s see if you can hold your head up so high after bombing the college entrance exam. His glaring gaze once again landed on Kang Jihan instead of his textbook.

At that moment, Kang Jihan’s rigidly held head drooped lifelessly. Upon closer inspection, Kang Jihan was nodding off.

‘I guess he worked the night shift again yesterday?’

While Kang Jihan diligently sat through classes, he often spent a considerable amount of that time sleeping with his head down.

Nam Seonwoo didn’t know why someone from a well-off family was working such hard part-time jobs. Kang Jihan wasn’t one to talk about himself much, and even when Nam Seonwoo cautiously asked after becoming an adult, he didn’t get a clear answer. So he didn’t pry further. He just assumed there must be some story Kang Jihan couldn’t talk about.

Anyway, to see Kang Jihan dozing off like this.

His gaze lingered on this scene he hadn’t witnessed in years. Nam Seonwoo continued to steal glances at Kang Jihan throughout the class and until the end of homeroom.

As soon as the homeroom teacher finished the announcements, Kang Jihan stood up with his bag. It seemed he was skipping self-study again today. Nam Seonwoo finally tore his gaze away from Kang Jihan’s retreating figure and went about his usual class president duties. He wrote the number of students staying for self-study on the blackboard, distributed phones, and engaged in trivial conversations with his classmates, but somehow time seemed to pass more slowly than when he was just watching Kang Jihan.

As he was killing time in the classroom, Park Gyuhyeon signaled him. Following him into the corridor, one of the boys who came out after them asked Park Gyuhyeon:

“Did you order?”

“Yeah. I ordered 30 minutes ago, so it should arrive right on time.”

The annex building they snuck into, avoiding the security guard’s eyes, was empty in the evening. The special room on the first floor here was where they secretly ordered late-night snacks with a group on days like today when the school meal was inadequate.

“Oh? The sound of a motorcycle! Looks like it’s arrived. See, my perfect timing.”

Park Gyuhyeon boasted, pushing Nam Seonwoo’s back. It meant that since he had placed the order, Nam Seonwoo should go receive it. Nam Seonwoo went out the back door of the annex building with crumpled bills in hand. As he was freshly realizing how much chicken prices had risen over the years, he spotted the delivery person in the distance.

The man wearing a black helmet was holding a bag in one hand. He seemed to have noticed Nam Seonwoo too, as he approached with long strides. The gait was familiar. He hesitated a few steps away.

In the past, Nam Seonwoo might have been so focused on the chicken that he would have just grabbed the bag, but now something else caught his eye. The man standing there without saying a word – his face and voice were completely unknown. However…

Perhaps because he had been watching Kang Jihan for years, Nam Seonwoo could recognize who he was at a glance.