Surviving as a Useless Bard in a Game

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Fura makes contact with the ground.

There’s no hostility…

“What’s the plan?”

“The Body can be transferred by its holder to another person. There’s no need to kill.”

“You’re saying to give the body to one person?”

“Yes.”

To capture the strongest, we gather all Body Holders currently existing in the world in one place. And we’ll persuade them, each for their own reasons.

To funnel all bodies to one person—that’s the idea.

‘Of course, it won’t be as simple as I think. The chances of them fighting each other are high.’

Humans are greedy, selfish, and unpredictable creatures who value emotions over reason. Therefore, they are both easy to handle and difficult at the same time. It’s a contradiction.

What I planned is a somewhat cruel, yet heroic tale.

As the myth of the most famous bard depicts the scene of a goddess’ wrath, what I intend is to create a table where even weak me is guaranteed a minimum chance of winning.

I’ll incite beings I can’t face head-on to fight each other, then rob the weary ones of their bodies.

One of the selfish scenarios I haven’t told Skylar.

‘I really don’t want to use it.’

Strictly speaking, the backbone of my plan was something else. Borrowing the power of dice and the Status Window, and fittingly hypnotizing with a decent option.

This plan is merely a precaution.

Possibilities, outcomes.

Every time I calculate one, regret increases.

If it were my past self, I could have dealt with it in an instant.

My head feels fuzzy. The once sharp gaze has dulled.

In a moment of thought, Fura stood in front of Skylar and me. The translucent magic barrier dispelled. Fura’s expression was… ambiguous. It’s unreadable.

No, it just takes time to read. There is nothing I can’t read with my eyes.

—

It just needs time.

—

“And afterward?”

“…they’ll probably fight each other.”

“If we could choose a human to take all the bodies without fighting, that would be great, but it’s unlikely.”

“Yes.”

“Even if by some chance we succeed in killing the Mad King, thinking about the second round afterward lowers the probability of me accepting this task. You understand that, right?”

“Of course… no, more importantly, why are you using the phrase ‘by some chance’?”

“Even if all the Body Holders gather, we can’t guarantee victory.”

“…?”

Perhaps I am, no, we are, facing an existence far greater than we anticipated. The emotion of fear, long forgotten, surges like a wave.

I felt like crying.

Only now do I understand Fura’s feelings. I want to be a recluse.

“But there’s a possibility.”

“Does that mean we can win?”

“Yeah.”

“And if everyone’s exhausted, you believe you can take their bodies.”

“I won’t lie. Yes. If after the Mad King is dead a proper agreement isn’t reached, I’ll make my move.”

“That’s fine.”

Our primary objective is to kill the Mad King.

The secondary objective can only be considered after achieving the first.

Why should someone who hasn’t even cleared Act 1 of the main quest worry about Act 2?

Fura extended her hand.

I grabbed that hand.

I could feel warmth.

The brutal recluse angel who moments ago had mercilessly struck down upon us felt nothing like that now.

Humans are surprisingly soft when holding hands like this.

Skylar watched our exchange with a meaningful expression.

After pondering for a moment, Skylar carefully opened his mouth. He seemed reluctant to break the atmosphere but acted like someone who had to say something.

“I have a problem.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, while we can somehow conceal the eyes, what about the wings?”

“Skylar, can’t we figure something out?”

“Putting a magical illusion that lasts for several hours on specific body parts is hard enough, let alone needing extremely advanced scrolls that are undetectable by high-level wizards. Moreover, you’d need several of them.”

Fura, glancing back and forth between Skylar and me, secretly folded her wings and tucked them into her body.

Skylar and I stared at her blankly.

She scratched her head with an awkward expression.

My eyes rolled sideways. Did Skylar share my thoughts? Our eyes met simultaneously.

We both shouted in unison.

” “You should have told us that right away!” ”

“I thought it was best to hide as much information about the body as possible….”

Skylar seemed shocked that he hadn’t even told his past self, his mouth hanging open as he froze.

The church with half a ceiling blown off and the charred marble floor.

The shattered front door.

Even the silver candlestick rolling around randomly on the ground.

The empty church now held no one.

—

After entering the lodging, Fura took out her wings.

They kept bumping against the columns and walls of the narrow room.

“I can’t quite grasp it.”

“You’ve been in a spacious church all this time.”

“Yeah. By now, the church must have realized my disappearance since they haven’t received regular contact.”

“…What?”

“Yeah?”

I immediately grabbed Skylar, who was washing his face in the bathroom, by the nape and dragged him into the living room.

At first, Skylar flailed his limbs and tried to shake me off, but he soon accepted it.

He realized there was no way I could drag him if he didn’t want to come, and he knew very well that I had a reason for behaving this way.

After spending a considerable time together, his intuition had become almost as sharp as mine.

“Skylar.”

“…Yes.”

Water dripped from his face.

He looked like a drenched cat, and I felt like laughing, but I desperately held it in. More important matters took precedence over mocking him.

“Fura hasn’t made regular contact, and the church is aware of her disappearance.”

“…What?”

“Yeah.”

“Did I hear that wrong?”

Skylar looked at Fura with a blank expression.

Fura, who seemed to notice eyes on her while munching a fruit from the lodging, turned around. Her expression—stupidly staring at Skylar—looked like something out of a sitcom.

We immediately began to move.

“What’s going on?”

“You just said you hadn’t made regular contact. It’s obvious the church would come looking for you.”

“Oh, right.”

“It’s not just ‘oh, right.’ We’re leaving this city immediately. Once we get to another city, they won’t be able to track us. If we need to, it’s okay to seek help from the Emperor.”

A gray cat rubbed against my leg.

Could it be because I mentioned the Emperor? It seemed oddly proactive today.

While it rubbed between my calves, it jumped up onto my thigh.

‘Are my legs soft?’

Skylar looked at the cat with sharp eyes, his hands trembling slightly. He seemed somewhat frustrated… but I didn’t understand the reason.

I felt like I had never seen him with that expression before.

Anyway, we didn’t have time to waste. Since Skylar was already moving, I should check what items I needed to gather. Although I didn’t have that much to collect.

‘At most, just food, a wallet, a musical instrument, and a sword.’

The lighter my load, the better. Especially for travelers.

‘I hope I can utilize cooking someday.’

Would Skylar be surprised if I fed him my cooking? He had never seen me cook before. I should definitely treat him if I get the chance.

‘If I mix medicine into delicious food, um, yeah, that’s enough of that.’

While I was lost in pointless thoughts, organizing my belongings in my bag, Skylar hurriedly started collecting scrolls scattered around the room.

Fura continued munching on her green apple with a foolish expression.

She was acting like a true recluse.

‘Was she really the person who was trembling the moment we left the church?’

I didn’t pay much attention as I ignored her, but it seemed like Skylar had a hard time trying to drag her along.

She’s pretty, but has a bad personality and is a recluse… not exactly threatening.

So far, no one has emerged who could pose a threat to my customization and character. Hmm, I’m truly amazing. A perfect being.

“Selina, let’s get going.”

“Yeah.”

Crunch crunch.

Meow.

Is this a zoo or an adventurer’s party lodging?

I can’t tell the difference.

Just as we were about to open the door and step outside.

Skylar suddenly stops.

Rigid as a statue, he was sweating.

“Skylar?”

“…There’s a massive magical reaction.”

At Skylar’s words, Fura and I simultaneously turned our heads toward the window. The green apple held by Fura’s hand dropped to the floor. With a dull thud, the apple rolled away.

A massive magical reaction at this timing.

“Teleportation…!”

With Skylar’s words, our faces turned pale.