Surviving as a Useless Bard in a Game

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When fleeing from someone, what information is most important?

Where are you trying to escape from?

Who are you trying to escape from?

Until when are you trying to escape?

How far are you trying to escape?

‘…I’ll throw off the church members tracking Fura in this city and escape to another city as soon as possible.’

It wasn’t an easy challenge, but I had no worries.

In any situation, the little wizard, Skylar, was always the one to propose solutions and find breakthroughs. I trusted him.

Even now, while he was sweating and fumbling around, I knew he would eventually find a way.

“How many are there?”

“More than ten…”

Skylar stammered in response to Fura’s casual comment.

This was the first time I had seen him so flustered. He was much more rattled than when I told Osidens his eye color looked like pee.

I bit my lip.

If the least panicked person was in a state like that, it was only natural for those around him to be affected.

Ironically, it seemed that Fura, the very cause of this mess, appeared the calmest. She was a far cry from the hikikomori part of her that stayed within the church.

“I know the church’s situation well. They probably moved the knights just because the divine body holder went missing. Not squire-level fools, but actual knights.”

“…Squire, real knights?”

“You’re a bard, you should know at least this much.”

Fura looked at me as if I were pathetic since she didn’t know my background.

‘Ugh, that look… I’ve seen that look a lot from Skylar before.’

I still hadn’t gotten used to it.

Regardless, upon entering her area of expertise, Fura began to excitedly explain everything in detail. Meanwhile, Skylar was pacing around the room, muttering to himself like a madman.

It was a chaotic situation.

“The teleportation magic circles likely have all been sealed. The flow of magic is probably being suppressed by someone. Using scrolls will definitely be detected. There’s also the possibility of a detection barrier over the entire city…”

“Squires are apprentices, while real knights hold noble titles. Every single knight, especially, has similar combat strength to gold badge adventurers. They are moving weapons…”

“Both of you, be quiet!”

Skylar and Fura stopped muttering and stared at me simultaneously.

“Muttering isn’t going to solve anything. We’ll talk later about how Fura didn’t make regular contact and that there are ten knights in the city hunting us. For now, let’s find a way to escape!”

Skylar, already used to my brusque manner, sighed and quietly sat down to think, while Fura sat in a corner of the bed with an expression that said, ‘I’ll see you later,’ and gave me a glare.

Finally, I had some quiet time to think.

There was still a bit of alcohol left. If I drank now, I wouldn’t be able to replenish before the next city… but there was no helping it.

I closed my eyes and forced the lukewarm, tasteless drink down my throat. I had to be careful not to drink too much and get drunk. It needed to be just right.

My mind started to turn again.

I thought about the conditions.

‘I can’t use magic, and using my body is a gamble. If the knights’ strength is on par with gold badge adventurers, it’s not going to last long.’

I approached Fura.

“What’s up?”

“You know the movements of the city and the church the best, Fura. We need your help.”

“…Suddenly? You strangely resemble Skylar.”

“Who says I look like that guy? Anyway, please tell me.”

“Alright. I didn’t have any good ideas either.”

Fura took a moment before she began speaking.

First, she laid out useful information and slowly organized it, looking for any gaps in their plans.

“Knights basically move as one cohesive unit. They never scatter. That’s because of their rules and laws. Those were rules set by the old saint that they can’t break. So, ten of them will be moving together.”

“And then?”

“The only way they could recognize me would be my wings and blue hair. Anyone who knew my face is dead; I haven’t been active in public for more than 150 years.”

“…I didn’t think being a loner would be helpful.”

“Who’s a loner?!”

“Keep talking.”

Fura cleared her throat for a moment and straightened her voice. She had just shouted, so it was about time.

“Anyways… no matter how many church members there are, they ultimately operate as one under a single commander. The most viable option is to scatter.”

“Since the knights are one unit, we can split into three.”

“Yep. But it’s risky. Blue hair is really eye-catching, and there’s no disguising it.”

“I can’t use magic, can’t scatter, can’t stand out, so I can’t just run away… And if we try to leave the city, we’ll hit the barrier. This is tough.”

“Right. It would be difficult using normal methods. Facing ten knights head-on would be…?”

“I’m at most at the level of a silver badge adventurer, and Skylar isn’t much better than me. Don’t you think three knights would be about our limit?”

“We need to come up with something unusual.”

And at that moment, Skylar, who had been listening from a distance, held his breath.

The time we had traveled together had exceeded two months, and the weather was heading towards summer. I had grown sensitive to every little action Skylar made.

I noticed when he swallowed, pondered, and finally reached a solution.

I could see it.

Skylar opened his mouth and said.

“No. No, that’s wrong.”

“…What do you mean?”

“The most common and simplest method will suffice.”

Skylar pulled out a scroll. The magic inscribed was [Dye].

And I quickly realized his thoughts.

I immediately folded a clean outfit neatly and put it in my bag.

Fura, who was sitting beside me, frowned and began to question me. No, it felt more like she was getting angry to hide her embarrassment.

“Hey! Why are you suddenly taking off your clothes?”

“It’s Skylar’s plan.”

“…What? You two looked at each other and didn’t say a word? What plan?”

Wink.

I winked at Skylar.

It was a signal for him to explain instead.

As always, Skylar sighed and reluctantly began to explain.

“We’ll disguise ourselves. As beggars.”

“Beggars…?”

“We’ll dye the hair, hide the wings, and if we dress like beggars, the knights won’t pay us any mind.”

“What are you talking about? The church always looks out for the weak…”

“That was the church from 150 years ago. How much time has passed since the saint and hero defeated the demon king? How long ago was it that the false saint corrupted the church?”

“…I see now. The church has changed. While I’ve been hiding in the church, the knights have started ignoring even the weak on the streets.”

“……Yeah.”

Skylar looked at Fura with pity in his eyes. It didn’t take long for him to change his gaze.

He knew better than anyone that a look of sympathy wouldn’t help Fura.

“Okay. Let’s disguise ourselves. I’ll play along with the plan.”

Fura’s hair was dyed black, and I messed up her hair to look like mine.

***

Skylar, Fura, and I.

Once we’d tangled our hair into a proper beggar’s mess, we completed a beggar-like appearance. Maybe I had a hidden talent for being a beggar.

I ruined the remaining clothes until they were like rags, slashed them with a sword, and deliberately left them looking unkempt.

I checked my appearance one last time in the mirror.

“Alright… Should we scatter?”

“I’ll check the barrier first and come back.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll go out alone. Wait here.”

Skylar went out alone to scout the exterior, leaving only Fura and me awkwardly in the room. It felt uncomfortable.

After a little thought, the answer came quickly. Skylar was like a connection between Fura and me, and as that lubricant vanished, the gears immediately started to grind.

It felt like a friend of a friend—which was a strange feeling.

After a long period of silence, Skylar returned.

“It’s possible.”

Skylar brought back good news.

“The barrier’s function is to monitor those leaving from the inside, and they can only see the exterior. They can’t see our magic or the specifics of our bodies.”

“…Alright. Now let’s check the routes.”

Fura pulled out a map of the city from her belongings.

It was time to escape.