LIGHTNOVELWORLD #046
#046
Shin Haejun’s lips touched my nape from behind. Perhaps because he had just showered, the kiss felt slightly cool. He then gently bit my earlobe with his lips. As I shivered from the sudden ticklish sensation, I heard a soft chuckle near my ear.
“Wait…!”
I flailed my hands behind me, trying to grab Shin Haejun. However, he caught both my wrists in his grasp instead.
Holding my wrists tightly, he buried his face in my neck and pulled the collar of my t-shirt to the side with one hand. As I slightly hunched my shoulders from the cold air touching them, his tongue tip traced a long line along my collarbone.
“The… the neck of my t-shirt is stretching.”
“Wow, I’m seducing you like this and all you care about is your t-shirt?”
I could see Shin Haejun’s silhouette reflected in the window, his shoulders shaking with laughter.
How could a chaebol understand the mindset of an ordinary citizen who values even a 10,000 won item? I pouted and shook my trapped wrists.
“My shoulders hurt. Let go.”
“They hurt? That won’t do.”
At my words, the restraining hands quickly fell away. After checking that there were no marks on my wrists, Shin Haejun gave my shoulders a final massage and pat on the back.
“All clear.”
“That’s better. If my arm fell off while being seduced, I’d be too embarrassed to go to the hospital.”
Shin Haejun burst into hearty laughter as if I had told some great joke.
“Why would I ever hurt you?”
“That’s a good attitude.”
I nodded at his serious words. Then I turned to face him and patted the sofa cushion.
“Sit down for a bit. I have something serious to talk about.”
At my words, Shin Haejun sat down with a “Hmm,” scratching his cheek and letting out a long sigh. Then he looked at me with an uneasy expression.
“It’s about Kim Sehyun. Haven’t you noticed him failing at guiding sometimes?”
“Until today, it was almost every time. He’d say he wasn’t feeling well, or his body hurt, things like that. I heard guides are very sensitive to their condition, so I just accepted it.”
“Think carefully. There should be a common factor when he succeeds at guiding.”
At my words, Shin Haejun tilted his head. He looked like he didn’t quite understand.
Honestly, Kim Sehyun’s case seemed not just rare, but almost unique. There was no mention of anything like this in the community or guide books. It might be a side effect of the protagonist’s position changing…
“He can’t guide without me there.”
Shin Haejun’s face scrunched up at my words. His expression changed from disbelief to realization as he remembered that I had been nearby every time the guiding was successful.
“Is that really true?”
“If you ask him directly, he’ll probably react somehow. I’m sure of it.”
“But that… how is that possible? Is that why he insisted on living in the apartment above and below?”
Shin Haejun muttered with a shocked expression.
“The closer the distance, the higher the success rate, I guess. Anyway, it’s clear he wanted to keep me close in a way that wouldn’t seem awkward.”
“So that’s why the upstairs apartment… What on earth? Why is it like that?”
“I don’t know either. The sushi incident probably wasn’t meant to kill me either. Honestly, he can’t afford for me to die. Even if he’s S-class, it’s useless if he can’t guide, right?”
Shin Haejun’s face scrunched up at my words.
“Then… is that why he wanted to watch the guiding?”
“Yes. Without me, he would fail at guiding.”
“I was planning to never let him see it again.”
Shin Haejun’s face darkened considerably. The idea that I would have to continuously be involved in guiding situations seemed to be a burden. It was understandable, having to repeatedly show physical contact with another person in front of a new lover.
After hesitating for a moment, Shin Haejun carefully spoke, his lips quivering.
“You know… you’re my lover. Right?”
“A guide is just… a kind of work colleague related to the job.”
“Is… that so?”
“I consume a lot of energy, so I absolutely need a pair guide. You’re a guide, but you’re my lover, and the pair guide is a separate issue.”
Somehow feeling uneasy, I frowned as the flow of the conversation became increasingly strange. As I silently looked at him with my arms crossed as if telling him to say everything he wanted to say, Shin Haejun carefully continued, choosing his words.
“I really dislike Kim Sehyun too. But there’s currently no pool of unpaired S-class guides. I’ll try to contact overseas guides as much as possible for your sake, but…”
“So?”
“But I can’t make you my pair in this situation either.”
Even though I hadn’t begged to be his pair, hearing it out loud made me feel a bit bad.
Honestly, I was jealous of Kim Sehyun, and jealous again. What I was jealous of was the situation where I couldn’t help Shin Haejun because I was F-class, not S-class. Of course, being human, there was also jealousy about having to watch my lover have physical contact with others.
Still, I’ve had social experiences and know what’s more important.
I mean, I know well that even if I want to occupy both the position of Shin Haejun’s lover and guide, I can’t.
I tried not to show my worsened mood, but Shin Haejun seemed to notice first.
“Um… ah, should we take your medicine first before talking?”
“Just say it. Why? Is it something that will break my mental state if you say it?”
Maybe it was because I was in a bad mood. My body, which had been heating up until just now, cooled down, and every word Shin Haejun said sounded disgusting. Suddenly telling me to take medicine in the middle of a serious conversation. He probably meant it as consideration in his own way, but to me listening, it felt like he was blatantly saying, “You have a mental illness, don’t you?” and it made me feel bad.
Well, I am a patient, but is it because he’s young? He really can’t distinguish the right time. Honestly, I felt like confronting the Hae Group chairman and his wife who let him loose in society in this state.
“No… um, well. I need a pair guide. I feel uneasy without one. If I go berserk… it becomes a big problem, right?”
So, what am I supposed to do about that?
I asked in an irritated voice.
“So I can’t do the guiding?”
I had no intention of doing it, but it was a blatant sarcasm. However, Shin Haejun didn’t seem to understand at all and spoke in a flustered voice.
“Of course, your guiding felt incredibly good… to the point where I thought it must be 99.9%. But thinking about it, if I go berserk, I don’t care about other people getting involved, but you can’t be involved. So…”
“If you go berserk, dying is the primary problem.”
“Oh, that too, but…”
“You know you’re stuttering a lot right now? What exactly do you want to say?”
I asked directly, as he was uncharacteristically trying to wrap his words nicely, and it seemed his brain wasn’t cooperating. Shin Haejun then said with an apologetic face.
“Functionally, I have no choice but to choose a high-ranking guide. I consulted with the director of the Awakened Research Institute, and they said I must choose an S-class no matter what.”
I already know it’s not possible, so why bring up this topic and make me feel bad for no reason? If he had just said he would contact overseas guides, this conversation wouldn’t have dragged on like this. I just wanted to tell him about Kim Sehyun’s secret and spend some happy time together with Shin Haejun.
“So you’re saying it won’t work because I’m F-class?”
At this point, I was also pushing for a fight. Rationally, I felt there was no need to go this far, but once the situation unfolded, I couldn’t just let it go calmly.
If he had spoken indifferently, it might have been fine, but that face looking as if he’s worried I might be terribly hurt! Seeing that expression made me feel even worse.
‘Who said they wanted to be his pair?’
Making people feel bad for no reason!
“Do you have to belittle it like that? Your value isn’t in being a guide, you know? You’re by my side as my lover.”
“Value?”
Every word Shin Haejun said was a minefield.
The problem was that he didn’t realize he was doing anything wrong. He probably thought he was communicating efficiently and honestly. It was just a way of speaking that didn’t consider others at all.
“Haejun. Shin Haejun.”
When I called his name seriously, Shin Haejun seemed to finally realize something was very wrong and sat up straight.
“Uh, yes?”
“Can’t you think before you speak?”
“Um…”
“The memory of the yuzu marmalade incident is creeping up on me right now. Are you trying to fight with me?”
At my question, Shin Haejun shook his head.
“Absolutely not.”
“If you’re going to bring it up clumsily, just don’t say anything.”
“Um…”
This time he nodded repeatedly.
I sighed and glared at Shin Haejun’s blank face, not knowing specifically what he did wrong. He seemed to at least understand that I was angry, as Shin Haejun smiled awkwardly.
“Don’t be angry, bro.”
“It’s cute when you call me ‘bro’, but you only use it when you’ve done something wrong or when you’re trying to sweet-talk me. Just don’t do things that make me angry so you don’t have to call me ‘bro’ in the first place.”
“But Jaeha, you look kind of sexy when you’re angry…”
“What?”
It was such an unexpected comment. The problem was, looking at Shin Haejun’s face with his sparkling eyes as he said that, as if he was completely smitten, my anger subsided a bit.
I laughed hollowly, feeling ridiculous that my anger had melted away like cotton candy.
“Your anger’s gone now, right?”
Shin Haejun seemed to have an uncanny ability to read my mood and grinned. Then he subtly snuggled up next to me, trying to improve my mood further.
“Everything was my fault. Should I bow my head?”
“Tsk. I still have something to say, so move away a bit.”
As I pushed him away, his large body clinging tightly to my arm, Shin Haejun looked at me with passionate eyes.
Seeing his eagerness to listen attentively, I decided to end this first argument here. Surely after Shin Haejun leaves, I’ll end up digging another hole…
“Anyway, Kim Sehyun deceived you.”
As the fight settled down, Shin Haejun seemed to recall Kim Sehyun’s secret again.
“We need to clearly address the fact that he deceived me.”