The Main Character Killed The Villain

#047

“Wait a moment.”

Is it okay to tell Kim Sehyun right away that we know his secret?

As I stopped Shin Haejun, feeling a bit concerned, he looked down at me with slightly angry eyes.

“Why are you angry?”

At my question, Shin Haejun briefly scanned my face with his gaze. Then he sighed lightly and said,

“It means I’ll have to keep watching you guide from now on.”

“I guess… so?”

Shin Haejun didn’t seem to like the idea of me watching him and Kim Sehyun guiding. He’s probably worried about me.

I pointed out something Shin Haejun was forgetting.

“Even if we go and confront Kim Sehyun now, this fact won’t change.”

If solo guiding had been possible, Kim Sehyun would have done it long ago. The condition of needing someone else to guide is essentially a weakness.

Hasn’t he been trying hard himself all this time? It must not have worked, so he tied me down with the pair contract.

“So, am I supposed to just sit still when I’m angry?”

“Even if you confront him, nothing will change. Why don’t we just find another S-class guide as you mentioned earlier, so I won’t have to watch the guiding?”

I whispered indifferently. But soon, realizing there was a flaw in my thinking, I muttered disappointedly,

“Well, I guess I’d still be jealous either way.”

It’s just not happening right in front of me, but the fact that someone else is holding my lover’s hand for guiding remains unchanged.

My thoughts became jumbled as complex emotions mixed.

I’m good at knowing my place, so I understand this is an unavoidable situation. But that doesn’t mean jealousy doesn’t arise. Right now, Shin Haejun is only guiding with his hands, but someday in a very urgent situation, they might need to do more intimate contact guiding.

‘When I guided Shin Haejun with a kiss and then guided Hyun Dowoon afterward, I felt a strange sense of guilt.’

As if it were proof that contact guiding doesn’t just feel like work.

In reality, it was common for pairs or frequently interacting Awakened to develop feelings for each other. They don’t necessarily become lovers, sometimes it remains a momentary fling, but physical contact has that much impact.

Will Shin Haejun still be satisfied with hand guiding even after experiencing more intense contact guiding, feeling pleasure, and noticing his body condition improving significantly?

‘I never even thought about this before I started liking Shin Haejun.’

When I was attracted to Hyun Dowoon, there was no need to worry. We were pairs, we could have any kind of contact, and we were under the illusion of mutual attraction.

‘Does Shin Haejun understand these complex feelings of mine?’

Even I can’t sort out these complicated emotions….

Rationally, I think it shouldn’t be a problem since it’s work life, but when I actually watched the guiding scene in front of me, my heart boiled with jealousy. It was unrelated to how much I like Shin Haejun.

As I was deep in thought with my head bowed… Shin Haejun cupped my cheek.

“Why has your expression darkened? What are you thinking about?”

Wouldn’t expressing these feelings put pressure on Shin Haejun? It’s a problem he can’t solve either.

I know I should just endure it alone… But even as I try to soothe my heart, I get irritated again, wondering why I have to deal with these worries in the early stages of our relationship.

‘If only I were a little better.’

Why does the fact that I’m not enough stab me so painfully… At home, at school, at work, I was always an insufficient person. But… I didn’t expect to feel this way in the world of the novel too.

“I wish I were S-class.”

Even knowing it’s foolish, I couldn’t shake this thought. I kept thinking it would be nice to be S-class, even if only half-capable like Kim Sehyun.

I had no intention of throwing a tantrum about an F-class pairing with Shin Haejun. But… it’s okay to feel upset for just one day, right? I have feelings too, what can I do about this burning frustration?

“I told you not to think like that.”

Shin Haejun gently caressed my lips to close them and whispered.

“What can I do for you? Hm?”

Why do you have to be so perfect?

I pouted and pulled Shin Haejun’s cheek. Realizing I had improved a bit, Shin Haejun grinned without even crying out in pain.

“Let’s keep an eye on Kim Sehyun for now. We can use it as a reason for terminating the pair when we do.”

I quietly thought about why I wanted to tell Shin Haejun about Kim Sehyun’s secret. What did I hope Shin Haejun would do with that information?

‘I think I wanted at least Shin Haejun not to feel that I was too inadequate.’

Kim Sehyun’s guiding absolutely required me. I too was a necessary component. So even if I’m F-class, even if I’m always laughed at, I wanted him to think well of me.

It was a somewhat embarrassing thought. Even if I could turn back time, I would probably make the same choice.

“Yes, and?”

Shin Haejun asked, still grinning. I sighed while gently caressing his handsome face.

“I don’t know.”

I really don’t know. I didn’t want to pour out all these jumbled, unorganized feelings to Shin Haejun.

Instead of rambling on, I pressed my lips against Shin Haejun’s.

“Mmm…”

Shin Haejun purred contentedly. I had only kissed him to stop myself from talking and forget my thoughts, but Shin Haejun seemed to read it as a signal for mood change and gently pulled the back of my head.

Shin Haejun swallowed the breath I exhaled. A soft, wet sound echoed around us. Shin Haejun thoroughly licked the inside of my mouth. It felt like an animal licking to comfort.

“Mmnh…!”

A small moan escaped as there was a brief gap between our lips. Shin Haejun, who seemed to be comforting me at first, soon became excited and started to delve deeper.

I wondered where to put my hands, but at some point they naturally wrapped around his neck. It felt like my body was out of control.

It was amazing how my upset feelings melted away just from touching Shin Haejun. Is this the power of skinship? Just skin-to-skin contact made me feel fulfilled.

“Ah, ungh… Shin Haejun, Haejun.”

Shin Haejun’s hands parted my clothes and touched my back. The hands that were gently caressing suddenly moved to the front as if unable to resist and firmly pressed against my chest. I called out Shin Haejun’s name repeatedly in surprise. He then removed his hand from my chest and tickled my side.

“Ah, ahaha, stop… hahaha!”

I screamed from the tickling, and Shin Haejun grinned.

“How do you feel now?”

“Where did you learn to comfort with your body?”

I asked, glancing at him, and Shin Haejun tilted his head.

“Looks like it worked as comfort.”

“Hmm…”

“Where would I have learned? You’re the first person I’ve been with.”

The first? With that face?

I looked Shin Haejun up and down, not believing it. He was just too handsome.

“I thought people would have flocked to you…”

As I looked at him suspiciously, Shin Haejun shrugged and leaned back against the sofa. I frowned as I fell back with him, pulled by his movement.

“It’s true. What can I do if no one likes me?”

“Then why did I like you?”

“Well, I kept thinking about you.”

He whispered, lightly brushing my cheek with the side of his index finger.

It didn’t seem like a lie, so I grabbed that finger, and this time the fingertip tickled my palm. As if he was desperate to keep touching me.

“Go home now.”

“Should I live here?”

Constantly being this close to Shin Haejun was too stimulating. But we couldn’t stay far apart while in the same room either.

Even as I gently pushed him away, Shin Haejun stubbornly held his ground. Then he suddenly asked with a serious face.

“Doesn’t it bother you that I’m next to Kim Sehyun? I mean…”

“I’m fine with it… but what will you tell the Center?”

Awakened were beings who could easily harm ordinary civilians. So all Awakened, especially Espers, had to report to the Center whenever they moved their residence.

Shin Haejun, who had been living with his pair guide, suddenly moving to the upstairs apartment, which happened to be the home of the recently controversial F-class guide? I couldn’t even imagine how much gossip it would generate.

When I pointed this out, Shin Haejun sighed, “Ah.”

“What do you take me for? Do you think rumors about me would spread?”

“Wow, that really sounded like a third-generation chaebol just now.”

I giggled. Then I blurted out, ‘Still, there’s no such thing as an eternal secret or a rumor that absolutely won’t spread.’

Am I being too cautious and overthinking about others’ eyes?

But having recently experienced nationwide cyberbullying, I couldn’t help but be sensitive to others’ gazes.

‘Come to think of it, Shin Haejun and I really are different.’

Shin Haejun probably never had to be mindful of others while growing up, right? With money, power, and strength. That’s probably why he grew up to be such an honest and confident person.

Maybe the saying “extremes meet” exists for us. After all, what drew me to Shin Haejun was that honest confidence.

It was a personality that could make people faint, get hurt, and had many flaws in various ways… but at least not having to be mindful of others was a big advantage to me.

When I was with Hyun Dowoon, I had to be constantly tense because I couldn’t tell what he was thinking or why he was acting a certain way towards me. He was older than me, and even though he flirted, he never clearly explained his reasons.

But Shin Haejun tends to be true to his feelings and thoughts in the moment, so it was transparent what he was thinking.

“I do think things through sometimes.”

“If you didn’t, why would you even have a head?”

I chuckled and gently stroked Shin Haejun’s hair. Then I stood up and pulled his wrist.

“Now get up and go home. Let’s rest for today.”

I was tired from thinking too much, berating myself, and going to the dungeon. Above all, I was the type to digest emotions during my alone time out of habit. Right now, I desperately needed time to myself.

“Sleep well. Get some good rest.”

Shin Haejun kissed my cheek and left, looking back regretfully several times.

‘Now… I have a lot to do.’

First, should I spy on what the author is thinking?