LIGHTNOVELWORLD #048
#048
(Social Account) Corrupted Green Kid @Green_baby02
[Vote closed)
Guide bus is indeed S-class X S-class – 60%
What are you talking about, it’s S-class X F-class! – 40%]
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(Social Account) Corrupted Green Kid @Green_baby02
[According to the voting results… S-class X S-class is decided!]
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Eve @eve
[I feel sorry for the teacher who doesn’t know the taste of S-class X F-class!]
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(Social Account) Corrupted Green Kid @Green_baby02
[Ah, I had a good idea! We can make it S-class X S-class that was once S-class X F-class!
Low self-esteem due to the thought of once being F-class..
But currently S-class, so super strong!]
I first thoroughly searched through the author’s old Twitter posts.
This was a post that came up after the protagonist had changed. It seems that due to that “good idea,” Kim Sehyun had changed from F-class to S-class.
‘What is janaesoo?’
Janae…? Given that I can’t think of any words, it seems to be an abbreviation. Anyway, this is the problem with SNS. Indiscriminate use of abbreviations! People like me can’t understand any of it!
Anyway, one thing was clear. It was obvious that when the author first conceived the story, there was no setting that I was absolutely necessary for Kim Sehyun.
‘Is it a setting created to ensure plausibility for attaching a villain to the side?’
But something’s odd. If that’s the case, why was there no reaction when readers strongly objected?
‘It seems like a person who can’t accept even a bit of negative feedback based on their personality.’
They were the most fragile person I’ve seen. They should have at least whined something on Twitter, but there was no trace.
‘Is it a setting that must be pushed through stubbornly?’
I wanted to read the author’s mind, but it wasn’t easy at all.
(Social Account) Corrupted Green Kid @Green_baby02
A brief story to unravel (1/4)
Changed from F-class to S-class.. Scouted by an S-class top.. Why would such an amazing person come to me?! With the thought, already low self-esteem becomes even more tormented
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(Social Account) Corrupted Green Kid @Green_baby02
(2/4)
throughout.. What makes it even lower self-esteem is that guiding is difficult without childhood friends due to unstable mental state lololol
Coincidentally, that friend, not knowing their place, aims for the top and
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(Social Account) Corrupted Green Kid @Green_baby02
(3/4)
the top crushes them.. Hmm, maybe kills them?
The sub-top appears, hugs the bottom, and tells them to come to him… The top slowly closes his eyes, gets jealous, and belatedly tries to
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(Social Account) Corrupted Green Kid @Green_baby02
(4/4)
treat the bottom well, throwing money around~ That’s the story I plan to write^.^
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Eve @eve
Hmm Michelin~ It tastes like cliché
The thread I discovered next was even upsetting. First of all, if the ‘unstable mental state’ improves, does that mean I’m not needed anymore?
The idea that they plan to kill me was absurd, but anyway, I understood that in the story the author conceived, Kim Sehyun would be able to guide even if I disappeared.
‘Why the death ending specifically? Because it’s more cathartic?’
I think about death at least once a day, but it’s different when the author planned it. I don’t want to die as the author wishes.
‘Still, I understand what Nine meant when he said it changed for the better.’
Everything after “guiding is difficult” in the story went wrong, so the author must have been furious. How bewildering it must be to have your entire planned synopsis completely twisted. Since they wouldn’t think that novel characters are running around on their own, they wouldn’t understand why they’re writing like this.
‘Ah, a new post is up.’
(Social Account) Corrupted Green Kid @Green_baby02
The slump is too severe..
It was the latest post that had just appeared moments ago.
Seeing the author’s mental state gradually crumbling… honestly, I felt pleased. Because I disliked the author even more than Kim Sehyun.
The culprit who arbitrarily changed Lee Jaeha’s life!
‘If they gave Kim Sehyun the fate of an S-class pretending to be F-class… what would they have given me originally? F-class as well?’
Well… it’s a really unpleasant assumption, but there’s a possibility they originally set me as S-class and then changed it to F-class to fit the villain role when they overhauled the story.
It would have been good if they had just written me as the protagonist obediently!
‘But if that had happened… I wouldn’t have had the chance to date Haejun, right?’
After observing readers’ reactions continuously, I was convinced that a protagonist who wavers back and forth tends to face backlash. I don’t know what inner feelings the author wrote for Kim Sehyun, but there was a lot of criticism saying “he has no principles” and “he wavers too much.”
If I had been the protagonist, I probably would have become the main couple with Hyun Dowoon, and Shin Haejun would have just been a sub-character. But even then, I think I would have wavered tremendously between them.
Whether the author set them up as “unparalleled beauties in this life” or not, my heart would inevitably pound just from seeing Hyun Dowoon and Shin Haejun smile slightly! Even now that I have feelings for Shin Haejun, I can’t deny that Hyun Dowoon is truly a handsome man.
Of course, the person I like is Shin Haejun.
“…Will it be okay?”
As I lay stretched out on the sofa alone, slowly gazing at the ceiling, my mood sank more and more. I like Shin Haejun. But the obstacles between us kept bothering me.
‘Is it painful because I, an extra, desire the protagonist?’
Shin Haejun seemed to be a person with extremely high self-esteem. That’s why he probably couldn’t accurately grasp the point I was struggling with.
‘He talked about value, didn’t he…?’
What’s my value to Haejun? Someone he likes?
But even love has an expiration date. Then what happens after that? How will my life flow?
‘If I can’t return to the real world… I have to keep living as Lee Jaeha.’
There will be no one to call me by my name, Lee Yeonsoo, and I’ll have to flow along the trajectory of Lee Jaeha’s life, with all the life I’ve lived completely gone.
The only thing that makes Lee Jaeha’s life valuable to me now is because of Shin Haejun. If by any chance he, and I, lose our feelings… how should I live?
‘It’s difficult.’
I turned on my side and looked at the table. If… if a chance to return to the real world comes. Would I want to betray Shin Haejun and return to my original world?
It was my habit to always assume the worst possible situation. Both my doctor and counselor advised me countless times to let go of this habit, but I ultimately couldn’t change it.
Because of that, only the worst situations kept floating around in my head.
‘Does Shin Haejun really have the intention to find a new guide?’
I trust his honesty. I know he’s not the type to lie to me unnecessarily. But… as he said, S-class guides don’t just fall from the sky.
Above all, Kim Sehyun’s advantages weren’t just in being an S-class guide. 98% matching rate. Just as the 99.9% that Shin Haejun and I recorded was an astonishing figure, 98% was also an impossible number. It was a number only possible because he was the protagonist.
‘After receiving 98% guiding, could he be satisfied with guiding that’s less than that?’
If the psychological barrier that is me disappears, wouldn’t he reconnect with Kim Sehyun again?
During the day, he spends time with Kim Sehyun, receiving everyone’s approval. And at night, during intimate hours, he returns to my side.
‘I don’t want to think about it, but….’
It’s just like having a mistress. As soon as I thought that, I felt a pang of guilt.
What the author, and everyone else blesses, is the relationship between Shin Haejun and Kim Sehyun. If Shin Haejun hadn’t deviated from the trajectory the author drew, they were originally supposed to be together. If that had happened, none of the things I’m worrying about would have occurred. They would have naturally become a good match.
‘Can Shin Haejun be satisfied with me?’
I’m not the main protagonist. Can I really change Shin Haejun’s fate just by changing the story?
‘I feel like I’m sinking.’
Shin Haejun will never understand me like this. He’ll try to be faithful to me as a lover, but….
I reached out and grabbed a cushion, hugging it deep in my arms. The feeling that had been sweet all along seemed to have hit reality. I felt like a person with a heart as small as a seed, unable to understand even holding hands.
‘I’m sorry, Haejun.’
I’ll continue to be like this in the future…. I’m already full of negative thoughts because of depression, what if I end up tormenting Shin Haejun?
Suddenly, a numb sadness washed over me. I tightly covered my face with the cushion and held my breath, just like my clogged feelings.
***
Beep beep beep beep-.
When I came to my senses, it was morning. I had fallen asleep right there on the sofa. I got up, rotating my stiff waist from side to side, and grabbed my phone to turn off the continuing bell sound.
‘It wasn’t an alarm, but a phone call.’
I frowned and glared at the phone number. It was a number I’d never seen before.
“…Who is this?”
– Hello, is this Guide Lee Jaeha?
“Yes, it is?”
– I’m Lee Jina, the head of the Guide Management Team from the Awakened Management Center.
Guide Management Team head? It was the first time I’d heard of this person. But… why would the team head call me?
“Hello, Team Leader. Do you have some business with me…?”
– First, I have one thing to confirm, and one thing to recommend, so I called you.