LIGHTNOVELWORLD Chapter 3: "Where am I?"
I remain still for a moment, searching for a way to restore some semblance of normalcy.
"I... I need you to understand me, to trust me. This is not my body... or at least not in the way you think."
Shame and fear of being discovered almost paralyze me, but I try to stay calm, as if this were something only I could handle.
The distance between us grows slightly, but I still strive to keep my eyes fixed on yours.
"Please, don't be afraid. I'm the same, just... I can't be fully transparent yet."
I run, terrified, my hands desperately trying to cover what should not be revealed. Panic swirls within me like a storm. The shock is immense, and the waves of the sea continue to envelop me, amplifying my sense of disorientation.
I never imagined this could happen—that the carefully maintained disguises to protect my secret could be so easily broken, especially by the alkaline reaction of the seawater.
What happened... what you are seeing now is something I've always tried to keep hidden. I feel vulnerable, completely exposed, unsure of what you must think of me.
Doubt eats away at me. Will you still see me the same way? Have I lost your trust, or... will you think I'm something entirely different, something I should not be?
My mind is in total chaos as I, filled with desperation, keep running in the opposite direction, trying to find a solution, a way to fix this. The cold water surrounds me, as if trying to push me away from you, but it's the fear that truly drives me to flee.
The weight of the secret suffocates me, and the uncertainty about your thoughts torments me.
When you call my name, a part of me wants to stop, to run back and try to explain, but the fear of your reaction stops me. I... I can't, not yet. All I can do is run. Inside me, fear takes over—a mixture of guilt and insecurity, making me wonder what you must think of me in this moment.
In the distance, I see you collapse onto the sand after your effort to escape the water. The sight stirs me, and I forget myself completely—forget my nakedness that shames me so deeply—and run toward you, reluctant, yet driven by the feeling that I need to help you more than anything I might want for myself.
When I regain awareness of my actions, I feel your body trembling under mine, and as you begin to wake, a wave of relief and concern sweeps over me.
When I see your eyes open, my heart races, but the intensity of the moment makes me hesitate. I'm still trying to understand what happened and what it all means.
Before I can say anything, you pull me close with unexpected strength, attempting to kiss me.
I feel the pressure of your lips on mine for a few seconds, and though I don't want to, the desire and desperation in your eyes touch me deeply.
However, a strong, self-controlled impulse makes me pull away slightly, my expression now more serious, my eyes trying to avoid yours in a way that's almost painful.
I feel desires for you, and my body seems to battle with my mind, craving your touch, something I find more than inappropriate at this moment.
"No, my dear," I say in a soft but firm tone, trying to regain composure amidst the intensity that overwhelms us both.
"We can't do this, not now... we can't go beyond where we are."
The atmosphere around us feels heavier, as if our emotions are creating an invisible barrier between us.
"I... I'm not who you think I am. And this... this isn't the right time."
I speak these words in a low voice, trying to contain the conflicting feelings rising within me.
"I need you to understand, as much as I want to... we can't go beyond this, at least not now," I repeat with a tone of sadness.
The moment is charged with tenderness and confusion, a tangle of emotions that I somehow try to balance. Your sad gaze, the tear running down your face, feels like internal pressure, making me want to calm the storm brewing between us.
I feel that, perhaps in this moment, what you need most is silent comfort, more than words or explanations I cannot yet give.
"It's okay, my dear," I say, my voice gentle as I approach you cautiously, knowing how difficult this is for us both.
I gently stroke your face, wiping away the tear, and then allow our lips to meet softly, like a silent promise—unhurried, without demands.
The kiss is light, almost timid, as if the world around us needed to disappear for a moment, leaving only the two of us.
I pull away slowly, my eyes searching yours, and you, so naturally, wrap me in an embrace. "Tomorrow will be another day, master," I say, my voice calm, trying to give you some peace as I dim the light and draw an improvised curtain, making the space feel more serene and welcoming.
"But wait, where am I now? How did we leave the beach and end up here? And where is here?"
But the sense of euphoria is replaced by something lighter and more intuitive. I know I've been captured, and now there's nothing I can do. It seems my past will surface, and all I can do is wait.
My mind, almost succumbing to desire, manages to form a last line of defense against my own foolishness. Feeling happy with my dear one, I had let my guard down.
The price for this would be enormous, along with the certainty that I had been drugged with something altering my perceptions and judgment. It was too late now—this was the effect of those algae that had tried to pull us into the depths of the sea.
The effects of the algae, "Algarrare non fugidios," unknown to most, increased stimuli, creating fears and hallucinations. Since each human body reacts differently to its touch, my despair grew.
My dear one lacked the resistance I had built over time, something crucial in my past, aiding my performances.
Even so, the toxin injected into my body was overwhelming. Knowing I might faint at any moment, I decide, despite being naked, to lie beside you, curling up against your body, feeling the warmth of your presence next to me.
"I'll tell you everything tomorrow," I murmur, more to myself than to you, as our bodies fit together in the darkness of the night.
And in that moment, all the chaos, doubts, and fears seem to fade slowly as I close my eyes and drift into peaceful sleep, hoping that, the next day, the right words will come, even if the reality of the moment is different.
I don't know if it's morning or if I've simply awakened due to my internal fears. Now awake, I can better assess the surroundings.
The room is dark, a dim and flickering light from a dirty lamp hanging from the high, oppressive ceiling. The air is heavy, carrying the scent of something old and stale.
The distant sound of something trickling down the walls is the only noise breaking the silence. I see my dear one restrained, shirtless, with hands raised and chained.
The cold metal cuts into his wrists. His feet touch the cold cement floor, but the weight of the chains immobilizes him, as if the world around him has stopped to observe his plight.
His breathing is heavy but clear, as though his body is reacting to the tension of waking up in such a state.
His face is slightly bruised, a small cut on his cheek, as if someone had struck him while he was unconscious, deepening the confusion of the moment.
I imagine the pain in his hands is sharp, and his muscles, once relaxed in sleep, now seem tense and ready for action.
But there's nothing he can do except endure the chains' weight and try to understand where he is, why he's there, and who could have done this to him.
The room around him is empty, yet it feels full of something—an invisible presence observing, waiting. The flickering light adds to the oppression of the scene. In the distance, I hear an indistinct sound, a faint noise I can't identify.
A door creaks open, muffled footsteps echoing down a distant corridor. Who could it be? And why is all this happening to us?
Deep down, I know the answer, but I hadn't expected it to come so soon—at least not in this way, not with this intention to destroy what I spent years building. A relationship with the best of men, a sincere and faithful bond... With my man, with my beloved.