Winterfell High

Chapter 40

Sansa Stark POV

It's 2 days before Christmas, the day of the Lannister Christmas party and Jaime and Cersei's 18th birthday party. I know there will be lots of holiday food, so I've been really monitoring my diet. I eat a decent amount in front of my mom, but today I've gotten away with eating nothing while she prepares for the Stark Christmas. Talisa and Robb are coming back into town for Christmas, I hope it's not as awkward as Thanksgiving. Christmas is always hard on my dad, I know he misses his sister. She kind of disappeared before I was born, and she and my dad loved Christmas. I don't know many details because he doesn't like to talk about it. He says that Arya and I would have loved her.

Ramsay texted me today asking if I was going to be at the party, and I said yes. He just responded that he couldn't wait to see me with a heart emoji. I really like him, I hope we can talk at the party.

I'm in my room getting ready when Arya walks in. "You look really pretty," she says when she sees me in my dress. "Did you get skinnier?" She asks me.

"I did," I say, beaming. Finally, someone is noticing my hard work. I've already gone down a size. "Thank you for noticing."

Arya sits on her bed. It seems like she wants to talk to me about something. "Can you believe Robb is married?" She asks.

"No," I say. "I was certain mom was going to actually murder him when he said that. Talisa seems sweet, but it's very soon."

"Do you ever think about that stuff?"

"Being married? Yeah, sometimes. I know you don't."

"That's not true," Arya says after a pause. "I do sometimes. I just don't want that to interfere with what I want to do in life."

"What do you want to do in life?" I ask her.

"Travel," she responds. "Write, take pictures. Whatever I damn well please. I'm not getting married at 19, that's for sure."

I don't know what's making Arya think about this stuff so much, but things are definitely changing a lot. Jon has a girlfriend, Robb is married; it's definitely a crazy time. Somehow in all this I still can't seem to get a boyfriend. I just hope my vibe is right about Ramsay.

I don't blame Arya for wanting to stay young and spontaneous. I don't think she's suited for just getting married and having kids. I'm not sure I'm suited for that either, even though marriage and kids is something I definitely want. I don't even know what I'm suited for anymore.

Jaime Lannister POV

When I wake up on the day of the party, it hits me that Cersei and I are about to be 18. Ramsay and Theon slept over last night, we're riding to the party together.

"I'm going to ask out Sansa tonight," I hear Ramsay say as we're getting ready.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yep," he replies. "It's time. It'll do both of our reputations good."

"Why?" Theon asks him.

"Well, I'm popular," Ramsay says matter-of-factly. "She's on her way to being popular, so I would help with the status I know she wants. And she's so kind and innocent, people wouldn't think I'm such an asshole if she was dating me."

He's right, people do think Ramsay's an asshole, because he is. I worry about him dating Sansa, she seems really sweet. It's not my business, it's not like I know her well enough for her to listen to me anyway. I also can't get too close to the Starks, nor do I really want to. I need to focus on getting me and Cersei to college.

When we go downstairs, Cersei, Tyrion and my dad are already ready. Cersei and I coordinated our outfits, we decided to go with red and black. She looks stunning. I don't know how I'm going to keep my hands off of her all night.

Sansa Stark POV

I arrive at the Lannister's Christmas party with Margaery, and we're able to do valet parking since it's at a fancy hotel and we're on the guest list.

When we walk into the hotel ballroom, everything is decorated beautifully. It looks perfect for Christmas, all the decorations are sparkly green and white. It looks too beautiful in here, I don't want anyone to do anything to mess it up.

I end up taking a couple of appetizers that are being passed around. All of these parties are really boring, especially when you can't eat most of the good food. The actual high school parties are the fun ones, I just go to these fancy ones so everyone knows how grateful I am to be invited. And I want to prove myself to them. I need everyone to like me so badly.

I eventually find myself sitting at a table talking to Margaery, Daenerys and Missandei. Missandei is talking about Grey Worm and their relationship, he's talking with the guys. I'm happy for them, but she's one of those girls who forgets she has a personality when she gets a boyfriend. And it just reminds me that I don't have one.

"I honestly thought you'd never lock him down," Margaery says to Missandei. Daenerys snickers. "I mean, I'm glad for you, but I thought you'd be too scared to even let him talk to you."

"Can you blame me?" Missandei asks. "Grey Worm has to be the most handsome guy in school."

Margaery just laughs and says, "He's no Jon Snow, right Dany?"

"Shut up," Daenerys says, laughing. Normally that would irritate her, but I think she's a little tipsy. "I'm actually officially dating Daario as of last week, so you can all relax about Jon Snow."

Missandei gasps. "Really?" Margaery asks.

Daenerys just nods. "He had to stay home and study tonight, so I couldn't bring him," she says. "But we're very much together." It's weird to me that she's dating someone but she never brings them around. I guess she likes the mystery of being a girl in high school with a boyfriend in college.

As if on cue, Cersei, Jaime, Grey Worm, Euron, Theon and Ramsay walk up to our table. Grey Worm gives Missandei a kiss, and they all sit down in the available chairs except Ramsay. He stays standing.

"What did we miss?" Jaime asks.

"Just Missandei not being able to shut up about Grey Worm," Dany says, laughing. Missandei blushes.

"How are the appetizers, Sansa?" Cersei asks me. "I saw you devouring them, be careful with that."

"Oh, they're good," I say quietly. I only had a couple, was I really eating that much?

"Sansa, would you like to go see the view from the balconies with me?" Ramsay asks me after an awkward silence. I just smile and nod. He starts to walk toward the doors to the balcony and I follow him.

When we get out there, I can see that the view really is beautiful. The sun is setting, lights are strung up outside. I can see people on the patio talking and laughing, but it isn't too noisy. This is such a peaceful sight.

Ramsay stands next to me and lays his hand over mine as we hold onto the balcony rails. "Sansa…" he says timidly. "There's something I've been wanting to ask you for a while."

"Okay," I respond. "What is it?"

"As you know, I broke up with Myranda. She just wasn't giving me what I wanted out of a relationship."

"What is it that you want?"

"I want someone kind and loving, like you; she's just so angry and hostile. I don't have room for that in my life." That makes sense. She does seem like a very angry person.

There's a long pause.

"Sansa," he continues. "I want you to be my girlfriend, I want to date you and show you what it means to be treated right. I already have our first date planned out, all you have to do is agree."

"I…" My heart is pounding, and I'm stuttering. "I don't know what to say."

"Say yes," Ramsay says. "That's all you have to do."

"Okay," I say. "Yes."

Ramsay holds my face in his hand, and leans in slowly. He kisses me, and I feel like I'm floating. The kiss is soft, and tender. He clearly knows what he's doing. I thought he liked me, but I really didn't expect this. Maybe all of this work, my diet and trying to make everyone like me, is paying off. Clearly something that I'm doing is working, I'm dating Ramsay Bolton.

Chapter 41

Jon Snow Stark POV

Ygritte and I are going to the light festival tonight. You check in and maybe have a snack at the coffee shop, and then you walk through different trails where the lights are set up.

After we walk in and get some hot chocolate, we go outside and see all of the lights set up. It's truly beautiful out here, this is very romantic. Ygritte is sipping her hot chocolate, but I can see that she's cold. I take off my sweater and hand it to her.

"What's this?" She asks.

"I can tell you're cold," I say. "Take my jacket."

"But then you'd be cold."

I shrug. "I'm fine. Take it." She sets her hot chocolate down and puts my sweater on. These are the little things about having a girlfriend that I feel like I need to do.

We're walking and looking at the lights when she grabs my hand. I love this, and I'm starting to wonder if I love her. I know it's too soon to say that, but I'm starting to feel it.

"I have to ask you something, Jon Snow," Ygritte suddenly says to break the silence. "Why did you decide to go out with me?"

That question takes me aback. I know I was hesitant to go out with her, but I didn't think she would still be thinking about this.

"I really like you," I say. "Do I need more of a reason than that?"

"Well you were rejecting me a lot at first. I want to know what changed."

"I was very reluctant to date in general, because of my dad. I felt like it was more important for me to focus on other things. And honestly, I was scared of how I felt about you."

That seems to make her smile. She leans in and kisses me. "You have me now," she says. "That's what matters."

"Definitely," I say, kissing her again.

As we keep walking, I see someone I think I recognize. It's Yara Greyjoy, she must be in town from college for Christmas. We make awkward eye contact, I used to be really close with Theon so I know she recognizes me. We were always at each other's houses, I saw her all the time.

"Who was that?" Ygritte asks me.

"That's Theon's sister," I reply. "It's awkward because I used to be best friends with Theon. He, Sam and I were kind of a trio."

"Really?" She sounds really surprised. "What happened?"

"He got a chance to be popular, so he ghosted me once he started high school."

"Oh…" Ygritte pauses. I guess she's just surprised I never mentioned this. "I'm sorry."

I shrug. "It is what it is. My friends are great, the ones that stuck by me." She smiles at me, and we continue looking at the lights.

Sansa Stark POV

Margaery is driving me home, and we're both silent. I want to tell her about Ramsay, and I know she'll be more upset if she hears it from someone else.

"Margaery," I finally work up the courage to say. "Ramsay asked me out."

Margaery lets out a deep breath. "What did you say?"

"I said yes."

"Sansa," Margaery doesn't sound angry, just disappointed. Somehow that's worse. "I don't want to tell you who to date, I just worry about you."

"Why? What is it that's so awful about him?"

"He's just an asshole and a fuck boy. He pretty much used Myranda for sex until he got bored, and he's a complete dick to Theon, in case you haven't noticed."

"I thought that was just guy banter."

There's a pause. "Oh Sansa," Margaery says. "You're so cute." I hate when she patronizes me.

"I really like him, Marg. I feel like all my hard work with my diet is finally paying off, can't you just be happy for me?"

There's a long pause, Margaery takes a deep breath. "I can try," she says. "But you need to tell me if he looks at you the wrong way even once. I'll always love you, and I'll beat his ass into the ground if he does anything to you."

I just laugh. "Noted," I say.

"I'm not trying to upset you," Margaery replies. "I just think you can do better." I know she means well, and I'll be so grateful if she turns out to be right. But I know she won't be right, Ramsay is a great guy.

Jon Snow Stark POV

By the time I get home after dropping off Ygritte (and doing some other stuff with her), it's after 11. At about 11:30 I hear Sansa come home and go into her and Arya's room. I'm walking to the kitchen to get some water when I overhear some of their conversation through the door.

"And then he kissed me!" Sansa says excitedly. "We're officially dating." That gets me intrigued, so I stop to listen even though I know I shouldn't.

"Sansa! That's so cool!" Arya replies. "Are you going to tell mom?"

"Eventually," Sansa says. "She met him when he came by, and I know she's worried because he's older. Once she gets to know Ramsay, I know she'll like him." I know she did not just say Ramsay, as in Ramsay Bolton. No, no, no. I know I'm protective of Sansa because she's my sister, but I would honestly rather see her pick anyone else than Ramsay Bolton.

Sansa walks out of her room and sees me standing there. Her expression drops, because she knows I've been listening.

"You're dating Ramsay Bolton?" I ask her.

"Yes," she says, crossing her arms. "He asked me to be his girlfriend tonight."

"Sansa, I'm really worried about you. He's got a bad reputation at Winterfell, he's known for using girls and then discarding them when he's done."

"He's not going to do that with me," Sansa says, getting hostile. "He said he wanted something real."

"I'm sure he did," I say to her. She just rolls her eyes. "I feel like you're becoming a different person. You drink now, you hang out with Daenerys Targaryen and Cersei Lannister, you hardly eat anymore."

"I'm fine!" She yells as soon as I say that. "I'm just not a kid anymore, Jon! Not everyone can be as moral and boring as you."

"I just want you to be okay," I say to her angrily before turning around.

"At least I have parents that actually care that I was born," I hear Sansa say under her breath.

"What was that?" I ask her. She looks at me, pauses for a bit, and walks back into her room, slamming the door.

I head to the kitchen to get my water, and my eyes start tearing up. I'll never admit this, but those types of comments will always hurt. I'd give anything to not be the outsider in my family, I hate that they all have to deal with me because my dad made a mistake. Comments like Sansa's just remind me that I'll always be the odd one out, the one no one wanted. That will never go away.

Chapter 42

Sansa Stark POV

It's the day after Christmas, and Christmas actually went surprisingly well. I got Fearless (Taylor's Version), and Arya also got a couple CDs and clothes. People were mainly focused on Robb and the boys so they weren't worried about what I was eating. I think Jon is still mad at me, but he shouldn't have been all up in my business.

Ramsay is taking me on our first date today, he planned for us to go to a coffee shop. I love that he takes initiative, he already planned out our first date before even asking me. Mom and dad insisted that they meet him when he picks me up. Ramsay was surprisingly understanding when I told him. When he knocks and the door, both my mom and dad are there to greet him. That's so embarassing, did it have to be both of them? To top it off, Arya is hear "reading" on the couch. I think she just wanted to scope Ramsay out.

"Hello," my dad says when he opens the door. "Ramsay, right?"

"Yes sir," Ramsay replies, shaking his hand. "It's so nice to meet you."

"So you're a junior?" My mom asks.

"Yes, ma'am," Ramsay says. "I'm hoping to study veteranary technician after I graduate."

"Wow, that sounds like a great career," my mom says. "It takes a big heart for animals to do that." Ramsay just nods.

There's a long, awkward pause, and then Arya clears her throat. "Ramsay," I say. "This is my sister, Arya."

"Nice to meet you, Arya," Ramsay replies. After another awkward pause, Ramsay turns to me and says, "We should probably head out."

I head towards the door and my dad says, "Be careful, nice to meet you."

"You too, Mr. and Mrs. Stark," Ramsay replies.

When we arrive at the shop, it looks so cozy. It's a coffee shop and bookstore, I know Arya really likes this place. We're looking around, and Ramsay starts to look at some crime related books. I didn't know he was into that stuff.

"So there's a New Year's Eve party at the Lannister's," Ramsay says to break the silence. "Are you coming?"

"I didn't know there was one," I respond. "Cersei probably didn't want me to know, she doesn't love that I hang out with you guys."

"Well, come with me then. You're my girl now." That makes me smile. We go to get some coffee, but I still just get a Diet Coke. Ramsay gets a pastry, and he convinces me to try a bite even though I don't want to. It's going to be harder to keep up with my diet now that I have a boyfriend.

Once we finish up, we get into Ramsay's car. After we get situated, he makes eye contact with me before leaning in and kissing me deeply. He keeps kissing me, and I just give into it because it feels nice. He starts kissing me with tongue, and I feel his hand reach under my shirt behind my back. My heart is pounding. He reaches forward and starts to feel my chest, which is when I pull back.

"What is it?" He asks me, but it sounds more annoyed than genuinely wondering.

"I just," I respond. "I'm nervous. I've never done more than kiss."

"I know," Ramsay replies. "I just really like you and I thought you liked me, but if you want me to just take you home, I guess I can."

He sounds very disappointed, he starts the car. I don't want to lose him like I did Loras. "I don't mind," I suddenly say, even though I'm not sure I mean it. "You can touch me there." Ramsay smiles at me and we start making out again.

Jon Snow Stark POV

Gendry and Sam are sleeping over tonight. We haven't had guy time in a while, so we wanted to plan a get together right after Christmas. Robb and Talisa are hanging out with Jaime tonight, he and Robb were somewhat close when Robb was in high school. I wonder how Jaime will feel about Robb being married.

Sam gets here first, of course. Gendry always has so much going on, so he's usually late. "How are things with Gilly?" I ask Sam as we go up to my room.

"It's going good," Sam replies. "I like her a lot"

"But…?" Something about his response gave me a weird vibe.

"I just," Sam says. "I feel like she's scared to get close to me. She doesn't like to open up about her family, I haven't even met her dad."

"Do you think she doesn't really like you?"

"I think she does. I just wish I knew more about what was going on with her."

When Gendry arrives, we order pizza and start chilling in the living room. "Are you guys doing anything for New Year's?" Gendry asks us.

We both shrug. "Not really," I say. "I don't ever really do anything, but my parents are going to stay the night at a hotel where some of their friends are throwing a party."

There's a pause. "We should do something here," Gendry says.

"Really?" Sam asks.

"For sure," Gendry replies. "It'll be fun."

"My brothers will be here," I reply. "We can't get crazy."

"I just meant us, the girls and maybe Podrick."

I think about it. "Okay," I finally decide. "As long as we can keep most of the party outside on the back porch." Gendry just nods. I love my friends, but I wish I didn't feel pressure to do this stuff because my parents are gone so much. I've never thrown a New Year's party, I just hope it goes okay.

Arya Stark POV

I walk downstairs to get a snack, and I see Jon and his friends eating pizza and playing games. I stop when I see Gendry, I still feel really awkard seeing him. He just smiles at me, which makes me feel better. At least he isn't making it awkward.

As I'm getting my snack, Gendry comes in to get a soda. "Hey, Arya," he says to me. "How have you been?"

"I've been good," I tell him. After a pause, I ask him, "You never told Jon about what happened did you?" I hope he knows what I mean and I don't have to explain more.

"He turns around, closing the fridge. "No, of course not," he says. "Why?"

"I just… wanted to know."

"I didn't," he says, walking out of the kitchen. "You don't have to worry about that at all." That makes me smile. I walk back up to my room.

I'm sitting, reading my book when Sansa comes in. "Hey," I say to her. I want to know everything about her date. "How was it?"

"It went well," she says. "I like him a lot."

"You seem nervous."

"I'm not."

"Sansa."

"Okay, we got to second base."

"Really?" I'm shocked.

"Yeah. I was surprised, but I really like him and I want to make him happy."

"Are you okay with that?" I ask.

Yeah," Sansa says, shrugging. "I mean I know what's expected of Winterfell relationships, I shouldn't get in one if I'm not okay with that."

I can tell she's not sure of what she's saying, and it makes me worry. I hope Ramsay is as good of a guy as she says, I heard her and Jon arguing the other day. I probably won't date at all in high school if this is how it is.

Chapter 43

Jon Snow Stark POV

Today is the day of our New Year's party, and I'm still nervous about it because Bran and Rickon are here and I don't want them to rat us out. I'll probably have to bribe them with McDonald's or something. When Sam gets here, he has Gilly, Gendry and Ygritte with him. I offered to pick her up, but it made more sense that everyone rode together since we'll be drinking. They can all ride home together in the morning.

"We need to do most of the hanging out on the back porch," I say when I open the door. "Bran and Rickon are here." Sansa and Arya are here too, but Sansa is about to leave and Arya usually keeps to herself.

We pour some drinks and then go out to the back porch. It's about 8:30, so we still have some time before the New Year countdown begins. Gilly and Sam are being really affectionate and kissing. I can tell Ygritte wants me to be the same way, but I feel self conscious. I don't want to make Gendry feel like a third wheel.

After a few minutes of drinking and talking, there's another knock at the door. I see Podrick outside, and I go inside and open the front door.

"Hey, man," I say as I greet him.

"Hey," he replies. "I hope it's okay that Gendry invited me."

"Yeah, for sure. We need to hang out more." I like Podrick, he's just a year younger than me and we don't have any classes together.

We go back out to the porch and continue talking.

The conversation eventually splits off between the guys and the girls when Sam and Gendry start talking about video games. That's usually what happens when that stuff comes up. After about 45 minutes of talking and hanging out, Podrick gets up to leave.

"Where are you going?" Gendry asks him.

"I'm going to go crash the Lannister's party," he replies.

"Why?" Ygritte asks him.

"I wasn't invited, but I've always wanted to know what one was like," Podrick says. "You guys can come and try to get in with me if you want."

"That's not really our scene," I say, laughing. "Don't hesitate to come back if you want to." Podrick smiles at me and leaves.

Sansa Stark POV

Ramsay is on his way to pick me up for Cersei and Jaime's New Year's party. I texted Margaery about it, and she said she meant to invite me. It feels like she's been distancing herself from me lately. I hate that she's doing that just because she doesn't like Ramsay.

It's already 9:30, which I thought was kinda late to show up but Ramsay insisted it would be fine. Arya comes out while I'm waiting outside and sits next to me. "Are you excited?" She asks me.

"Yeah, I guess," I say to her. "I just don't like that they seem to be ignoring me since I started dating Ramsay."

"Why would they do that?"

"Well, Margaery doesn't like him, but Cersei never really liked me. I think she still doesn't like me being in the group."

Arya doesn't respond to that, I know she doesn't care about this stuff. Before the silence gets too awkward, Ramsay pulls up.

"Bye Arya," I tell her. She waves at me and I get into Ramsay's car.

When we get to the party, Ramsay splits off to go meet with the boys. I go to find Margaery and Dany. They're standing around with Cersei and Myranda. I'm nervous to go up there, especially since Myranda is Ramsay's ex. I decide to walk up anyway, they can't just ghost me.

"Hey guys," I say. "What's up?"

"Oh, we're just talking," Dany says. "Talking about how I'm deferring for a year if I get into the school where I applied."

"Why would you do that?" I ask.

"I want to do more charity work, and just prepare for college. I feel like I could use a break." That doesn't seem like Dany, but I'm sure she has her reasons. Even if she isn't saying all of them.

"Is Ramsay here?" Margaery asks me.

"Yeah," I reply. "He just went to meet with some of the guys."

"I'm sorry we never reached out to you about this party," Margaery says. "I was super busy over the holidays. I meant to invite you."

"Oh, it's okay," I say, even though it hurt me. "I was really busy too."

After a bit of talking, I go into the kitchen to make myself a drink. While I'm there, Myranda comes in. I can tell she doesn't like me just by her energy. I'm pouring a drink and avoiding eye contact with Myranda when she says to me, "You know why Ramsay is with you, don't you?" I pause and just look at her. "He thinks you're innocent and easily manipulated," she continues. "He wants someone younger that he can teach to do the things he wants. It's what he wanted from me."

"Look, Myranda," I reply. I really don't want to get into it with her, and I know she's jealous of my relationship with Ramsay. "I'm sorry things didn't work out between you two, and I don't mean to cause any trouble. But I can take care of myself."

"I just don't want to see someone else hurt by him."

"I know you still love him," I say, cutting her off. "But if it isn't me, he'll be with someone else. Getting rid of me doesn't make him want you again." I can tell that made her angry, so I try to change the subject. "Plus," I continue. "I have my brother and my friends to protect me if I need it. I'll be okay, don't worry about me."

She just stands there, clearly seething with anger and jealousy. She just walks out of the kitchen after a minute. I think I handled that well. When I come out of the kitchen, I see Podrick in the living room. He goes to school with us, but he isn't in the popular group so I can't imagine him being invited to one of these parties. I also saw him on the back porch with Jon's friends before I left, so that's even weirder. I make a note of that before going to find Ramsay.

Jon Snow Stark POV

I go out to the backyard just to get a break from everything. Everyone is still on the porch, but they're being drunk and loud and I feel like a babysitter. I'm sitting on the grass when Ygritte walks up and sits down next to me.

"How's it going?" She asks me, leaning her head on my shoulder. "We all miss you over there."

"I just needed a breather," I reply. "Thanks for sitting with me."

"Why don't you like to have fun?" She asks me.

"What do you mean?"

"I feel like you never want to let lose and just have a good time. You're always so stressed and tense."

"Well, I've had to be responsible for my siblings for so long. That gets stressful."

"Why can't you just tell your parents that isn't your job?"

"Ygritte, it's more complicated than that." I feel like she doesn't understand what my life is like, and it seems like she doesn't care to.

"How is it more complicated?" She asks me.

"I love my siblings, I can't just leave them," I reply. "My parents have a career so they can provide for us, and they need me and Robb to help."

"Well, I think you should just stop doing it. They'd have to be responsible for their own kids then."

"And then what?" I'm getting irritated. "They ground me? My mom hates me even more? What good can come of that?"

"At least you'll be standing your ground, and you'll be able to have your own life. If my aunt treated me the way your mom does, I would fight back."

"Well I'm glad you have it all figured out," I reply, snapping at her. "I'm glad you have all the answers to things you'll never have to put into practice."

"I'm just trying to help," she says after a pause.

"Well you aren't. You don't know what you're talking about." After a long silence, she gets up and goes back to the porch. I wish Ygritte didn't just say what she was thinking, I wish she could put some things into perspective. She has no idea what my life is like, no one does.

Sansa Stark POV

We're all standing in the living room by the TV as the New Year's countdown begins, it's seconds away from being midnight. Ramsay and I are standing next to each other, this is the first time I'll get a New Year's kiss.

"3…2…1… Happy New Year!" Everyone counts down, yelling.

Ramsay leans in and kisses me. My heart is fluttering. He keeps kissing me until he whispers into my ear, "Would you like to move things to a bedroom?" My heart is pounding, so I just nod.

We go up to one of the Lannister's many bedrooms, and I sit on the edge of the bed. He starts kissing me again, and before I know it we're laying down. He takes his shirt and my shirt off, and moves my hand to the crotch of his pants. I move my hand away quickly in response.

"What's wrong, now?" He asks, sounding irritated.

"I just," I whisper. I'm too scared to tell him what I'm feeling openly, I don't want to make him mad. "We still haven't been dating that long. I want to move a little slowly."

"Sansa, how many times do I have to say I like you?"

"It's not about that, I'm just not ready."

Ramsay exhales. "Can you at least take your bra off, and maybe jerk me off?"

I'm so nervous. I've never done either of those things, I don't know what to say.

"It's going to physically hurt me if I don't get off now that we've made out," he continues. "Please."

I don't want him to be hurt, even though I'm not even sure what that means. I take my bra off, which he seems to like. He unzips his pants, and I do what he asked me to.

When Ramsay takes me home, I don't feel great. I didn't like doing that, but I suppose it was better than an argument or worse, being broken up with. When I walk in, there's no one downstairs and the house is quiet. Jon, Sam and Gendry must have fallen asleep in his room. Thankfully Arya is asleep when I get to our room, she'd be able to see right through me and tell exactly what I'm feeling.

Chapter 44

Jon Snow Stark POV

When I woke up on New Year's day, Ygritte was gone. I think she had Tormund pick her up. She fell asleep in my parents room that night. I was upset that she left, but we talked things out on the phone that night. We're both so different, I'm not sure how long things will work between us.

Ygritte and I are eating lunch with Sam and Gilly, it's the first day back at school after winter break. I've been hearing people gossiping and whispering about some party over the break, but I'm not sure what the big deal is. There's always some party that people are talking about, and it's usually the Lannister's. I honestly couldn't care less what went down. Ygritte lays her head on my shoulder, and I can tell she wants me to put my arm around her. I don't feel like doing that, so I just give her a kiss on the head.

"Gilly," Sam says. "My parents want to have you over for dinner soon so they can get to know you."

"That sounds good," she replies. "I'm excited to meet them."

"I'd love to meet your dad someday soon, I'm sure he wants to meet me."

"Yeah, maybe someday soon." She's brushing off that idea, which seems odd. Why doesn't she want Sam to meet her dad?

"Hey," Ygritte says, nudging me. "You seem quiet."

"Oh, I'm fine," I say. "Just stressed out and thinking about what to get Sansa for her birthday. It's in a couple weeks."

"Oh, I can help you shop for her," Ygritte says. "I may know better what to get."

"Okay, that would be helpful," I reply. I don't want to go shopping with her, but I can tell she means well so I will. I just don't know if this is the right fit for me anymore, but I feel like I should try to work it out with her because I like her. And I can't just leave her without even trying, she was my first. This is so complicated, and it's why I wanted to leave dating for after high school.

Sansa Stark POV

My birthday is in less than two weeks. It's my lucky birthday, I'll be 15 on January 15th. I bring up that my birthday is coming up during lunch.

"What are you doing for it?" Margaery asks me.

"I really didn't have any plans," I reply. "I thought I might just go shopping with my mom and sister or something."

"We should do something," Daenerys chimes in. "You shouldn't be without friends on your birthday."

"I don't know what I would want to do," I say. "I didn't have any ideas."

"Would your mom be okay with some of us coming over?" Margaery asks.

"I'd have to ask, but it sounds fun."

"Let us know," Daenerys says. "It would be fun to do something."

I really do want to do something for my birthday, even though the food aspect gives me anxiety. I've been throwing away most of my lunch at school since my mom is on to me.

"Oh!" Margaery suddenly yells. "Did you guys here what went down at the Lannister's New Year's party?"

"About the foursome?" Daenerys asks. "Yeah, that was nuts!"

"What?" I ask, suddenly tuning in. I have no idea what they're talking about.

"Some guy who wasn't invited crashed the New Year's party and had a foursome with three girls in one of the bedrooms," Margaery says, turning to me. "Apparently it was his first time."

"Whoa, what?" I ask, shocked. "How did I miss that?"

"You were probably off with Ramsay," Cersei says. And she's right, I was. "Everyone was kind of off doing their own thing, it was after midnight aparently."

"Who was it?" I ask.

"He goes to our school," Margaery says. "P something."

"Podrick," Daenerys says. "Everyone's talking about it. If people don't know his name now, they will."

I'm shocked. Podrick is one of Jon's friends, I can't believe someone he knows did something like that. Jon doesn't hang out with people like that, this is seriously crazy.

Cersei Lannister POV

I don't want to be with Euron anymore. I never really wanted to be with him, but now he either bores me to death or he just annoys me every time he breathes. The sex isn't even that good, we honestly don't have that much sex because he's not good at it.

"I'm breaking up with Euron after school today," I tell Jaime as we're walking to class after lunch. "He's supposed to take me home, but I wanted to ask if I can ride with you."

"Of course you can," he replies. "Why are you breaking up with him?"

"I'm so bored, Jaime. I never really liked him, and the sex wasn't even good." I can tell he's trying not to show how happy he is.

"Well you should break up with him if you're unhappy."

"I will. Will you pull up to the back parking lot after school so I can get in the car after I dump him?"

"Yeah of course." We stop at my class and he gives me a very subtle and quick hug.

Euron meets me outside of my last class when the bell rings. We get out to his car, I need to do this before I get in.

"Euron," I say. "I don't think we can be together anymore."

"What?" He asks me, stopping.

"I don't think this is right for me, I'm about to leave for college and I need to focus on my life beyond high school."

He takes a deep breath, I can tell he isn't happy. "Is this about Jaime?" He asks me.

"What?" I'm playing dumb. "Why would this be about Jaime?"

"Don't play dumb, Cersei. I know, okay? Everyone knows, and you can at least tell me the truth." As if on cue, Jaime pulls into the parking lot.

"It's about me and my life," I reply, walking off. "That's it."

"Cersei!" He calls after me. I get into Jaime's car and we drive off.

…

I'm trying to fall alseep, but I'm having a hard time. I always sleep better when I'm with Jaime, but I can't go in there every night. It doesn't make sense that I can't sleep, I'm so tired. It's not that I'm sad that I broke up with Euron, I actually couldn't care less about that. I don't feel like myself, and my stomach has been bothering me too. I think I'm just about to get my period, it was supposed to come a few days ago.

I'm honestly counting the days until we graduate and get to leave for college. I can't wait to be away from father and Tyrion. I know Jaime will want to come back and visit, but we would never set foot back in this house if it were up to me. I feel lucky that my family has enough money to pay for college and to pay for me and Jaime to live in an apartment together, but that doesn't change the fact that I can't wait to leave. I'm so glad I won't be stuck here, like Dany. I feel bad that she feels like she has to stay here, but I would never make that sacrifice. Maybe that's selfish, but it's what you have to do to get anywhere in life.

Chapter 45

Sansa Stark POV

Today is my 15th birthday. I don't actually feel that excited about it, I was hoping I would have lost more weight by now. I asked my mom if Margaery, Dany, Cersei, Jaime and Ramsay could come over and she said that was fine since it's Friday. Cersei and Jaime said they couldn't because of basketball practice, but the others are coming over after cheer practice.

When we get to my house, there's decorations up that I can tell were Arya's idea. We try to go all out for each other's birthdays, one time I almost burnt the house down trying to bake her a cake for her 8th birthday when I was 10. Robb and Jon were so upset.

"Happy birthday, Sansa!" Arya yells as we walk in. I would be embarassed, but Cersei isn't here and what she's doing is sweet. I walk up to her and give her a hug. My mom brings out Alfredo pasta with chicken, which was my favorite growing up. Of course that makes my anxiety skyrocket, but I take enough to not draw any questions.

Eventually after food and boring conversation, my mom brings out red velvet cake (my favorite) with candles. I can't bring myself to grab a piece after everyone sings me happy birthday.

"Sansa," my mom says to me as everyone else is getting cake. I think she can tell I'm struggling to get a piece. "It's your birthday."

I don't want to upset her, so I have her cut me a small corner piece. After I sit down with my plate, Arya hands me a bag. "Open it," she says. "I saved up to get this for you."

"We're doing presents already?" I ask, taking Arya's bag. It's the seagull necklace from Taylor Swift's 1989 merch collection. I've been saying I wanted it, I can't believe she remembered. "Thank you Arya." I give her a hug.

"Jon and Ygritte got this for you," my mom says, handing me another bag. "I don't know what it is." I open it, it's a pink scarf with heart decorations. Ygritte must have picked this out, it's pretty.

I take out my phone and text Jon, *Thank you for the scarf, it's really pretty. Tell Ygritte I said thank you as well.*

My mom hands me a bag. "This one is from me, dad and the boys," she says. I know that means the boys had no part in this. It's a black dress with gold trim. "I hope it's the right size."

"I love it," I say to my mom. "Thank you." I look at my phone, Jon hasn't responded to my message.

Cersei Lannister POV

I still haven't gotten my period, and it's over two weeks late. I'm trying to ignore that. I start to get emotional as I'm waiting in my car for Jaime to come out of basketball practice. I'm not sure why, but when he gets in the car he can see that I'm crying a little.

"What's wrong?" He asks me as soon as he sees.

"I don't know," I say. "I just feel so tired, but I still haven't been able to sleep well."

"Did you start your period?" I just shake my head.

"Come on," Jaime says after a pause. "We're going to the store."

"What?" I ask.

"I'm not letting you avoid this. We're finding out right now if you're pregnant."

"Jaime, no! I'm not!"

"Cersei, we need to make sure. Would you rather not know and have it be too late?" I just look at him, and drive off to the store.

Jaime is kind enough to go buy the test for me. I can't imagine going in and getting it myself, and we can't go in together.

"You know it will be okay no matter what, right?" He asks me when he gets into the car.

"I know it will," I reply as I pull out of the parking lot. "It will be fine because I'm not pregnant."

When we get home, no one is there. That's weird, Tyrion is usually home. He probably went out with Shae. Whatever, I'm not complaining. We go to the bathroom in my room. It's safer that way, less likely for Tyrion or dad to go there. I go into the bathroom while Jaime sits on my bed.

I can tell he's scared, but honestly I'm not. I know I'm not pregnant, there's no way. I'm pretty sure he and I couldn't have a baby together even if we wanted to. I don't think it's possible. I wait in the bathroom for 3 minutes after peeing on the stick like it says. When it's time, I get up and look at the test. There's two lines on it.

Sansa Stark POV

After we have cake and I eat as small of an amount as possible, my mom agrees that we can go out for a bit. We drive out to where the treehouse is, hoping no one else will be there. We walk to it, and luckily no one is in there hooking up.

We climb up the ladder and start smoking weed.

"I should probably get going," Margaery says to Dany. "Are you okay to drive?"

"Yeah for sure," Dany replies. She gets up and they go to the treehouse entrance. "Happy birthday, Sansa." They climb out and down the ladder. I can hear them walking away.

Ramsay immediately starts kissing me. His mouth moves down to my neck, which catches me off guard. "What are you doing?" I ask him.

"Just kissing you," he replies. "Do you like it?"

"Yeah," I reply. It does feel good, but he's being so forward and intense about it. "I guess."

Ramsay positions himself in front of me and reaches underneath my skirt, taking off my underwear. He starts going down on me, and I freeze in shock. I can't say it's a bad experience, but I probably would have stopped him if he wasn't so quick about it.

It feels really good, and eventually he stops. He comes up and kissed me. "What was that for?" I ask him.

"Just something I wanted to do for your birthday," he replies. "Now what are you going to do for me?"

I pause. "What?"

"Now that I've done this for you, it's only fair that you do the same for me."

I guess he has a point, but I'm nervous. "Ramsay, I don't think I'm ready for that."

He looks very disappointed, which is what I was afraid of. "Oh, okay then," he replies. "Well, happy birthday. I guess I'll see you Monday." He starts to leave.

"Where are you going?" I ask him. He still needs to take me home.

"Well I was trying to do something nice for you," he replies. "I just think it's kind of uncool that you won't do the same in return."

Maybe he's right, maybe I should do it just this one time. It's the least I can do since he did it for me, but I don't want to do it.

"Hey don't leave," I say, stopping him. "I'll do it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you're right. You did it for me, I feel bad." That seems to make him happy. He walks back over to me and takes his pants off. I don't know what I'm doing, but I guess I have to do my best to figure it out. I need to just get used to this, it's expected of me in high school relationships. That's the case no matter who I'm with, so I just tune out and try to make him feel good. I guess it works because eventually it's over.

"Was that okay?" I ask, standing up. I feel like I'm going to throw up, but there was no where for me to spit.

"That was more than okay," he responds, kissing me. He puts his pants back on and we walk out of the treehouse. I look at my phone when we get into his car. Jon never texted me back.