Winterfell High

Chapter 46

Cersei Lannister POV

It's Saturday, and Jaime and I are going to talk after he gets home from basketball practice. I'm just writing in bed, I feel like that's the only way I can process what I'm feeling. Jaime walks into my room, and we just look at each other. I know we're waiting for the other person to start the conversation, but this is just awkward.

"So?" I ask him.

"What?" He responds.

"I guess we should talk about our situation."

"Okay," Jaime says, taking a deep breath. He sits on the bed. "What do you want to do?"

"I want to keep the baby," I say without hesitation. "I don't think there's anything else I could do."

There's a pause. I think that surprises him. I know everyone thinks I'm just selfish and crazy, but being a mom is something I've always wanted. I know I'll feel like I have a purpose and I'm worth something if I have a baby.

"Okay," Jaime says. "I know I can't talk you out of a decision if you've already made it. Who will you say the father is?"

"Is there a reason I can't say you?"

"Cersei," he looks at me. "You know you can't do that. We'll be shunned by the community, father won't help us, it's not an option. Plus, are you sure I am the father?"

"I'm positive," I snap at him. "Why would you even ask me that?"

"Because you just broke up with Euron," he's getting heated. "It's a fair question."

I guess he's right, but I know it's his. He's the only one I've taken any risks with, and Euron and i barely had sex. "It's yours," I say. "But I guess I can say it's Euron's." Jaime's right about what he said. I couldn't care less about what people think, but I know Lannister money will be very helpful to me in keeping this baby.

"You're okay lying to everyone?" Jaime asks me.

"People will think it's yours no matter what," I say. "If I don't say who the father is, it'll look even more suspicious. I wish we could be public."

"I know, but you know I'm right," Jaime responds. I just nod. "I'll be here for you through everything." He comes over to me, gives me a kiss and a hug, and walks out of the room. I'll tell Euron soon, but I need to figure out how I'm going to bring it up. I can't believe this is happening to me. I always pictured having Jaime's children, but I always saw it being much further down the line. I've never been so scared in my whole life.

Jon Snow Stark POV

I'm driving Ygritte home from rock climbing practice on Monday, and the thought won't get out of my head that we aren't a good fit together. She's beautiful and funny and independent, but I feel like she doesn't understand my life or the things I have to deal with. And I was right in my assumption that having a girlfriend would just take away time I need for school and my family.

"Are you okay?" She asks me. "You've been really distant lately."

"Yeah, everything's fine," I respond. "Just stressed out about school and family." Not that she would no anything about that or even care.

I help her bring her stuff in, and of course she starts making out with me. We take off our clothes and lay on the bed. As we're about to get down to business and I'm naked on top of her, I realize I can't do this.

"Ygritte," I say, stopping. "I can't do this."

"What's wrong?" She asks me.

"I can't be with you anymore." There's a pause. It feels like the longest silence of my life.

"Why?" She asks.

"I was worried that dating in high school would take away time from other things I need to focus on, like my family and school. I was right. I like you, but I think you deserve more."

There's a long silence. "I guess Tormund was right about you," Ygritte says.

"What are you talking about?"

"He said guys at Winterfell just get what they want and leave, and I didn't listen."

"Ygritte, that's not it."

"Just get dressed and get out." I don't blame her for being upset, but what she's saying isn't true and I don't know how she could think that. I really did and still do like her, this just isn't for me anymore.

Ygritte Giantsbane POV

I'm crying in my room when I hear Tormund walk in. I'm not sure where he goes after rock climbing practice, but I was greatful for the alone time Jon and I would get. I guess that's not happening anymore. I really do like him, and he dumped me right before Valentine's day and my 16th birthday. Both are less than a month away.

I wipe my eyes before Tormund walks by. I would shut the door, but then he'd definitely know something's up. I think he still hears me sniffling, because he stops in my doorway.

"What's wrong?" Tormund asks me.

"Jon Snow broke up with me," I respond. He sits next to me on the bed and puts his arm around me to comfort me. "What are you going to say, 'I told you so'?" He was always warning me about Jon.

"Maybe a little," Tormund says. "But I really just want to make sure you're okay."

"I really thought I was falling in love with him."

"I know, but I always felt like you deserved better. He's pretty, but you're fierce and strong. You're going to be just fine."

I lay my head on Tormund's shoulder. "Thanks."

I know he's right, but it still sucks a lot. Jon is the first guy I've seriously dated. The others were just friends with benefits. I hope he grows up and decides what he wants. If I'm going to be with anyone, it's going to be someone secure in themselves, which he's definitely not. I'll get over this, but that doesn't make it hurt less.

Jaime Lannister POV

I can't believe Cersei is pregnant. I feel bad for questioning if it's mine, but I feel like that's reasonable. We were mostly careful, and I wasn't even sure if I could get her pregnant. I didn't think that was likely. I told her I would support whatever she wanted to do because that's the right thing ro say, but she would terminate if it were up to me. It's not up to me, though, and I realize that.

I told her she should get on birth control more than once, but she didn't want to. That was her choice, but I feel like saying "I told you so" to her. I know that won't help. I'm glad she agreed to say Euron is the father. I love her and I want to be able to be there for her in every way possible, but I know it will be safer for our entire family if we lie about who the father is.

Tyrion and I are watching TV in the TV room, when suddenly he asks me, "Are you okay? You've been really quiet lately, and you seem stressed." I think he can tell something's up. I can't keep this from Tyrion, even though I know Cersei wants me to. He's going to find out eventually.

"Cersei's pregnant," I say quietly after a long pause. "She found out a couple days ago."

"Woah, what?" He asks, a little too loudly. "Is it yours?" He asks the second question so nonchalantly, because it's so normal to him that we have this relationship. He's gotten used to it, it's our family's biggest open secret.

I just nod. "Yes," I say. "She's positive it's mine."

"Damn", is all Tyrion can say. "Does she know what she's going to do?"

"She wants to keep it. She's going to tell Euron it's his."

Tyrion takes a deep breath.

"Please don't tell father," I continue. "We'll figure out how to tell him. We just need time."

"I won't," Tyrion responds. "He wouldn't believe me anyway." He's right. Father may not care much what Cersei and I do, but he cares even less about Tyrion. He wouldn't notice if Tyrion dropped off the face of the earth tomorrow.

We may have a lot of money, but I'd trade that for a loving and non-toxic home any day. The Starks seem so close, I wish my family could just love each other, or at the very least get along. Cersei and my unborn child are my main priority, I will make sure their lives are filled with as much love as I can give.

Chapter 47

Sansa Stark POV

Valentine's Day is this Sunday, and it's the first time I've been in a relationship for it. Does Ramsay expect me to get him something, or is that his job? If he does get me something, will he expect me to do things for him in return? Probably.

"So I was thinking I could take you to that new Italian place that's supposed to be really good for Valentine's Day," Ramsay says as he's driving me home on Wednesday. "I already made the reservation."

Shit that's a lot of carbs. "Yeah that sounds good," I respond. "I haven't been yet." I feel bad saying no since Ramsay already made the reservation. Plus, I don't have an excuse as to why I don't want to eat that kind of food.

"And then maybe… we could go back to my place. My dad and stepmom are leaving town that night."

"Yeah, sure," I reply. I'm anxious about what'll happen at his place, but I feel like I can't say no. I've found that with Ramsay, it's easier for me to just agree. "I'd love to meet your parents."

"My stepmom is annoying, and my dad is a dick. That pretty much sums them up."

"Well, I want to know more about you," I say. I feel like he never talks about his home life. "You have dogs, right?"

"Yeah we have 5, but I kind of ignore them when they cause trouble. They need to learn how to act before I can give them what they want." That's troubling, does that mean he doesn't feed them or take them out when they annoy him?

"When did your dad marry your stepmom?" I ask to change the subject.

"Last year," he replies. "They're having a baby."

"Oh that's so great."

"It's really not. That's all they'll be focusing on when he's born." Yeah, that tends to happen when people have a baby. We pull up to my house.

"Bye," I say, giving Ramsay a kiss.

"Bye babe." I walk into my house and go up to my room.

"How's it going with Ramsay?" Arya asks when I come in. "Are you excited for Valentine's Day?"

"Yeah, I guess," I reply, setting my stuff down.

"What's wrong?"

"I just…" I start, laying on my bed. "He wants me to do a lot of sexual stuff, which I should have expected. I guess I just hoped he would be understanding when I said I wasn't ready."

"What does he want you to do?"

"Just like, handjobs and oral. I know it's either do that stuff or not have a boyfriend at all, but it still sucks."

"Have you told him you don't want to?"

"Yeah," I say, shrugging. "He gets really upset, it doesn't really go anywhere."

Arya isn't sure what to say. I know she's only 12 and doesn't really know how to respond, but I tell her everything.

"Is this what dating is like for everyone in high school?" Arya asks me.

"I want to say no," I respond. "But I'd be lying if I said that." Arya doesn't respond to that. I feel bad, but I can't lie to her. I'm glad she doesn't have to worry about this stuff yet.

Jon Snow Stark POV

I was going to get Ygritte a flower from the school booth this week for Valentine's Day, but I can't now that we broke up. Every year the student council sells roses that students can buy for their friends and significant others that are delivered for Valentine's Day to classrooms. I'm not a fan of it, it seems very performative.

I agreed to pick up Sansa after cheer today since it coincides with the end of rock climbing practice, and I'm obviously not taking Ygritte home anymore. I'm a little sad that we broke up, but I think it was the right decision. I'm sitting outside on a bench, waiting for Sansa when Daenerys Targaryen walks out of the South entrance. She sits down on the bench next to me.

"Hey," she says to me. "What's up?" I'm not sure why she's talking to me.

"Just waiting for Sansa," I respond. "Where is everyone else?"

"They're still getting ready, I'm just waiting for Cersei. She's almost done with her newspaper meeting, and we're getting dinner tonight."

"Oh cool," I respond. There's a long pause.

"Where's your girlfriend?" Daenerys suddenly asks me. "Normally I see you with her."

"Oh, we broke up."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. She's great, I just felt like we didn't have much in common."

"Really?" Daenerys asks me.

"Yeah, I deal with a lot of stress with my family and I felt like she couldn't relate to any of that or empathize with me."

"I know what you mean," Daenerys responds. "I'm always dealing with stuff with my dad. It feels like no one understands, so I don't really bring it up anymore." That surprises me, I thought her life was perfect. I knew her father had some issues, but I figured it wasn't a big deal when you're as beautiful and rich as Daenerys Targaryen.

"Sorry about that," I say to her. "That must be rough." I don't want to ignore what she has to say and have her feel like I don't care, but I also don't know how to respond.

Daenerys shrugs. "It is what it is," she says. At that moment, Cersei walks outside and Daenerys gets up to walk with her. "Bye." I wave goodbye to her. Sansa and the other girls walk out shortly after.

"Hey," I say to Sansa. "You ready?"

"Yeah," she responds.

"Is there some reason Ramsay couldn't take you home today?" I ask her. I want to know if he's acting questionable in any way.

"He had a lot of homework to get done," she responds, shrugging. She seems to not want to talk about him. We get in the car and drive home.

Samwell Tarly POV

It's the Thursday before Valentine's Day, and Gilly is coming over to meet my family finally. I'm pretty sure they didn't believe she was real. I'm nervous for her to meet my dad. He can be kind of a jerk, especially when he finds out people are in different social classes from him.

Gilly and I are on our way to my house, and I feel like I want to warn her. I don't want her to freak out, but I think she should know about my father. On the other hand, I don't want her to think that I look down on her social status because her family doesn't have money just because that's how my dad feels. I ultimately decide to not say anything and just hope for the best. My mom greets us sweetly when we come in. My mom isn't the one I'm worried about, it's my dad.

"Hi Sammy," my mom says as we come in. She turns to Gilly. "You must be Gilly, this meeting is long overdue! Sam hasn't stopped talking about you for months." God, really mom? I start blushing.

"It's so great to meet you, Mrs. Tarly," Gilly says, shaking her hand. My mom gives her a hug, which Gilly didn't expect. It catches her off guard, but she welcomes it. My father and sister walk down, which makes me incredibly nervous.

"Gilly?" My dad asks. Gilly just nods. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too, Mr. Tarly," Gilly responds, shaking his hand. My dad isn't the type to go in for a hug like my mom is.

We sit down to eat, and there isn't much conversation happening. That's typical in the Tarly household, there's usually a lot of tension. I guess that's better than yelling, which is usually the other option.

"Gilly, are you a junior?" My mom asks.

"I'm a sophomore," she responds.

"Do you know what you want to do?"

"Not yet. I love drawing with charcoal, but I'll probably have to get a job right when I turn 16."

"Why is that?" My dad asks.

"We struggle a lot financially. We have a lot of sisters and nieces living in the house, so I know I'll need to help out whenever I can."

There's a pause. I know this can't end well. "Where do you live?" My dad asks. I can tell he's scoping her out and trying to find out more.

"I live in the East district in a rental house," Gilly responds. "It's small but it'll make do." Oh no. No no no. My dad has a passionate hatred for the East district and everyone who lives there. He won't like that.

After a pause of silence and a couple more bites of food, my dad speaks up. "It's getting late," he says. "Why don't you take Gilly home?"

"Dad," I respond. "We aren't done eating."

"Go." He doesn't sound happy. I get up, wave Gilly along and we go outside to the car.

"What was that about?" She asks me.

"I didn't want to tell you this," I say as I start to drive home. "But my dad is very classist. He doesn't like associating with people without money. I hate that about him, and I was hoping he wouldn't find out."

"Are you ashamed of me? Is that why you didn't tell him?"

"Not at all! I'm ashamed of him, and I didn't want him to discount you over that."

Gilly starts to tear up. I feel awful. "I'm so sorry," I continue. "I didn't want this to happen."

We pull up to her house. "Bye," she says. "See you tomorrow."

"Gilly wait," I say, grabbing her arm. "You know this doesn't change anything with us, right?"

"It doesn't?" She asks.

"Not at all," I reply. "In fact, it makes me want to date you more."

"Why?"

"Because I love you," I blurt out. I don't know why I said that. "I'm sorry."

She just smiles at me. "I love you too." She gives me a kiss and walks inside.

When I get home, my dad is waiting for me on the couch. He's facing away from me and reading. "Sam," he says when he hears me come in. "Come sit next to me." Shit.

I sit across from him in a chair. "Why didn't you tell me you were dating a lowlife?" He asks me. "You know how I feel about that."

"I didn't think it should matter," I reply. "She's an amazing person."

"I don't care. You are not to see her anymore."

I just pause, then I get up and go to my room. I don't care what he has to say. I'm still going to see Gilly. She's beautiful and amazing, and I love her. Nothing will change that.

Chapter 48

TW: Sexual coercion/ED behavior discussed in this chapter

Sansa Stark POV

I'm sitting in my history class when a girl from student council walks in to deliver Valentine's roses. They sell roses that people can buy every year to raise money for student council. I'm not paying attention until I hear my name called.

"Sansa Stark," the girl says. I just raise my hand and she walks over, placing the rose on my desk.

I open the note attached. "To my rose," it reads. "Happy Valentine's Day, my gorgeous girl. I can't wait for Sunday.- Ramsay." It's signed with a heart and a winky face.

A thought suddenly occurs to me: What if he wants to have sex on Valentine's Day? I'm definitely not ready for that. I'm hoping I can just give him oral, and that will be enough. Surely he doesn't expect me to go all the way yet, right? I can't think too much about that, my plan is to offer him alternatives and see where it goes. I'm more nervous than I was now.

Cersei Lannister POV

I'm sitting in my first class of the day, and it's the Friday before Valentine's Day. I normally don't care about this day, but Jaime always does a little something for me. He doesn't have to, and I'm not even sure why he does since I don't give him anything in return. Well, unless you count sex.

Dany walks into my classroom with flowers. Oh right, student council is delivering those today. As president, Dany always signs up for stuff like this. Instead of calling out a name, she walks right over to me and puts a rose on my desk. I give her a confused look, and she just shrugs. I open the note attached. "We'll make it through this- J."

Obviously it's from Jaime, Dany probably delivered it herself so she could keep other people from seeing it. I haven't told her I'm pregnant, and I also haven't told Euron. I'm thinking of not telling him at all. I feel like I can hide the pregnancy for the rest of the year until we graduate, but I definitely can't hide it from Dany.

When I go to sit down at lunch, only Sansa and Margaery are there. I don't really want to talk to them since I know Margaery hates me and I don't like her either, but I sit down anyway. I'm not going to let that bitch make me leave, and Sansa's just a baby. I can handle that. I don't know where Dany is, normally she tells me if she's eating lunch somewhere else and she usually invites me.

"Hey," I say, sitting down. Margaery just gives me a slight nod. "What are your Valentine's Day plans?" I ask Sansa. I'm curious what Ramsay has planned for them.

"Ramsay made reservations at the new Italian place up north," she responds. "It's supposed to be really good."

"Wow, that's expensive," I say to her. "Be careful, that's a lot of carbs, which won't do you any favors." I know it's mean, but Sansa needs to know where she stands and that we're not friends. She just looks down at her hard-boiled egg and sets it down. I actually feel bad.

"I have to go meet my math teacher to turn in a late assignment," Margaery says, getting up. "Bye Sansa." She walks away, and I know she didn't say goodbye to me on purpose.

Suddenly my phone dings, it's a text from Dany. *Can you come out to the senior lot? I want to talk to you.* It reads. I start to get up.

"Wait, Cersei?" Sansa asks me. I stop. "Can I ask you something?" I'm very confused as to what she would want to talk to me about.

"I really should go," I say. "Dany wants to talk to me." I don't want Sansa thinking we're friends.

"I'll be quick." Damn, she's serious.

"What is it?" I ask, sitting back down.

"I'm nervous for Sunday," she responds. "I've never been in a relationship on Valentine's Day."

"It's just like being in a relationship any other time of year, just more romantic," I respond, shrugging. It then occurs to me that Ramsay is probably her first relationship. "You'll be fine."

"I just," she continues. I can tell she's beating around the bush about something. "Ramsay got me a rose, and it sounded like he wants something to happen on Sunday. I don't know what he's going to expect of me." Oh, I get it now. I don't blame her for being scared, but that's what she gets for waiting so long to lose her virginity.

"Honestly," I say. I'm going to be brutally honest, because I know that's what she wants. Even if she doesn't want that, it's what she needs to hear. "Whatever it is, it's easier to just do it. Guys here are really only after one thing, and you can either do it or face the social repercussions from not doing it. It's up to you." I get up, because I don't want her to think she can actually confide in me.

I walk out to the senior lot and see Dany parked in a spot. She's sitting in the driver's seat, waiting for me. I walk over and get into the passenger's seat. "What's up?" I ask.

"What did the note on your rose mean?" She asks me, just getting right to it.

"What are you talking about?" I ask, playing dumb.

"Cersei, I know something's up. I don't know why Jaime would send you a rose on Valentine's Day, but you're lucky I delivered it and not someone else."

"He was just giving me some words of encouragement. I'm having a hard time."

"With what? I thought we told each other everything, Cers."

I take a deep breath. "You can't tell anyone, I'm very serious," I say. Dany sticks out her pinky and I lock mine with it. It may seem childish, but we've been doing pinky swears since we were six. We only break them out now for serious matters. She made me pinky swear when her dad had a nervous breakdown and when she first told me she had a crush on Jon Snow in 8th grade. I made her pinky swear when I told her I made out with my cousin Lancel the first time I got drunk in 6th grade. "I'm pregnant."

Dany gasps and covers her mouth. "For real?" She whispers. I just nod. "I'm assuming it's Euron's."

"Yep," I reply. "I don't know when I'm going to tell him, though, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything."

"I won't, we pinky swore." There's a pause. "Are you going to keep it?"

"Yeah," I reply. "I don't know how, but I am. I can't imagine anything else, I know I want to be a mom someday."

Dany just gives me a hug. "Let me know if you need anything," she whispers into my ear. "Don't ever forget we're long lost sisters, nothing will change that." I know she means it, but I'll still never tell her it's Jaime's. That will be taken to both of our graves if I have anything to say about it.

Sansa Stark POV

It's Valentine's Day, and I'm getting ready for Ramsay to pick me up for dinner. I'm wearing the new black dress and pink scarf I got for my birthday, it makes me happy to know that it's already getting loose on me. I wish Daenerys was here to do my makeup, I don't really know what I'm doing. I hear a knock at the door, and I hear my mom open it and greet Ramsay. I didn't eat today except for the eggs my dad made and my mom forced me to eat.

I asked Cersei for her advice today because I knew she would tell me the truth, but I would have much rather asked Daenerys. If I had asked Margaery, she would have just gone off about how much she hates Ramsay and how I shouldn't be dating him. I really didn't want to hear her judgement. I know Cersei was right, but it was still tough to hear. I believe Ramsay cares about me, and I'm sure he'll be okay sticking to what we've already done.

I walk downstairs, and Ramsay is sitting on the couch talking to my mom. My dad had to go to a work thing tonight on Valentine's Day, which I know my mom is pissed about. "Hello love," Ramsay says, getting up and hugging me. "You look beautiful."

I just smile at him. "Bye mom," I say.

"Bye, Sweetie," she replies, giving me a kiss on the cheek. "Be home by 10:30."

When we get to the restaurant, it's beautifully decorated. We sit down and take a look at the menu. Cersei was right, everything is full of carbs. I keep hearing her voice in my head telling me to avoid them.

"I was thinking we could go back to my place after dinner," Ramsay says. "You've never been, and my parents left town today."

My heart starts pounding. "Okay, sounds good," I reply. I hope I don't sound as nervous as I am. "I just really need to be home by 10:30, or my mom will be really mad."

"Of course."

I just get a salad for dinner, but Ramsay orders me a piece of chocolate molten lava cake for dessert. It's sweet, but I say I'm full and get it packed up in a to-go box. I'll probably just give it to Arya. We finish up and drive to his house. When we get there, there's already a car in the driveway.

"Shit," Ramsay says. "I guess my dad and stepmom haven't left yet. I can just take you home if you like."

"No," I respond. "I'd love to meet them, if that's okay." Ramsay just gets out of the car. I follow him. His mom and stepdad are walking out of the house as we walk up the sidewalk.

"Dad," Ramsay says. "This is Sansa, my girlfriend."

"Lovely to meet you," Ramsay's dad says, shaking my hand. "I'm Roose, this is my wife. Sorry we have to rush out the door, we're heading out much later than we planned."

"Oh, that's okay," I respond. "It's so nice to meet you." They go out to the car and we go inside. Ramsay takes my to-go box and puts it in the fridge.

"Do you want to go watch TV in my room?" He asks me.

"Sure," I reply. I take off my scarf and hang it on a chair. We go into his room and he gets Netflix set up. He turns on a show called Glitch, which I've never seen. "Do you like this show?" I ask him.

"Yeah, it's okay," he responds. I don't know why he would turn it on if it's just okay, that seems weird. "Want to lay down? I'm full from all that we ate." I just smile and nod. I take off my shoes and we sit against the headboard on the bed. He puts his arm around me.

A few minutes into the show, he starts kissing my neck. We start making out, which is fine since the show was boring me anyway. He takes his shirt off, and unzips my dress. I take it off, and he takes off my bra. Everything is happening so quickly.

"Ramsay," I stop him. "Can we just stick to what we've done?"

"Of course," he responds. That's a much better response than I was expecting. I was prepared for him to argue with me.

He takes off his pants so he's in his underwear, and I use my hands for a bit. Then he takes off my underwear and starts to go down on me. I don't dislike it, but it's still weird to me. He comes up and kisses me. I'm expecting him to ask me to return the favor, but he doesn't.

"Sansa," Ramsay says. "I want to go all the way with you."

Shit. This is what I was afraid of. "Ramsay, I—" I start to say.

"I know you said you aren't ready, but what are we waiting for? There's no logical reason as to why we haven't."

"I'm still just a freshman," I respond. "I thought you were fine with waiting."

"Well, I don't see why we are. If you still want to wait, I don't think I can."

"Why not?"

"If you want this to be a real relationship, we need to go all the way. If not, we're basically just friends."

There's a long pause. I don't know what to say.

"You know, just go home," Ramsay continues. "I have nothing else to say."

"Let's do it," I abruptly say. "I'm ready." I'm definitely not, but I don't want him to dump me. I can't lose a guy over this, and both Cersei and Margaery tried to warn me. In a way I feel like I can't say no, because I signed up for this and people told me what I was in for.

…

As Ramsay is driving me home, I start to tear up. I'm not even sure why.

"What's wrong?" He asks me.

"I just didn't plan on that happening," I respond, wiping my eyes. My makeup can't be runny when I get home. "It wasn't what I expected."

"Well, now we're a real couple. It's a good thing." We pull up to my house, and he kisses me on the cheek. I get out of the car and walk inside with my to-go box. Ramsay made sure I took it home.

Everyone's in their rooms, asleep or chilling when I walk in. I know I said I was going to give my dessert to Arya, but I go in the kitchen and immediately start scarfing down my cake from the restaurant. I felt so hungry, it's almost like I couldn't help myself. After I scarf it down, I immediately feel guilty.

I feel my stomach hurting immediately, so I rush to the downstairs bathroom. If I don't make myself throw up, I'll probably throw up on my own. The guilt of what I just did and what I just ate will consume me if I don't throw up. I stick my fingers down my throat and the cake comes up after a couple tries. I wash my hands, go upstairs and wash my makeup off. I take off my dress and change into one of my dad's large T-shirts, for some reason I like sleeping in those. Luckily Arya is asleep. I lay in bed and cry myself quietly to sleep.

A/N: Sorry that this was a long one. This chapter was the toughest to write so far. I'm sorry if it was hard to read, it felt like it was fitting for the characters. Let me know what you thought.

Chapter 49

Jon Snow Stark POV

I'm trying to focus on school so I don't have to think about Ygritte. I didn't ever want to break up with my first, that's why I was so against dating and having sex. I should probably stick to my old principles, it was better that way.

I'm getting ready to leave rock climbing practice and head to the middle school on Wedneaday, I told Arya I would pick her up from school today after practice. As I'm leaving, Gendry is leaving the theatre side of the school.

"Hey Jon," he says. "Are you going home?"

"No," I respond. "I'm going to the middle school to pick Arya up."

"Oh perfect! Can you give me a ride home? Someone else in my family needed to borrow my car yesterday and today. I live right by the middle school."

"Oh, right. Yeah sure, no problem." We walk out to the parking lot and get into my car.

"So how have you been?" Gendry asks me.

"Pretty okay," I respond. "Still dealing with the breakup, I guess."

"How are you handling that?"

"I'll be okay. Sometimes I miss Ygritte, but I've realized that I miss our friendship more than our dating relationship." We pull up to the middle school, and I stop the car. Arya always takes a couple minutes to walk out after she knows I'm here.

"Was the sex not good or something?" Gendry asks me, which catches me off guard.

"No that was really good," I respond. "I just felt like we were better as friends. Why are you asking me about the sex? It's not like you've done it."

"No reason," he responds, shrugging. Arya gets in the backseat. "You'll be fine, I know breakups suck but it sounds like you made the right decision."

"You broke up with Ygritte?" Arya asks me. "Hi Gendry."

"Yeah," I respond. "I thought we were better as friends."

"Damn, I liked her," Arya says. "She was cool."

"Arya, watch your language." She rolls her eyes.

"How are you Arya?" Gendry asks as we start driving away.

"I'm good," she responds. "You?"

"Just busy as ever." We pull up to Gendry's house. "By Jon, bye Arya. Thanks for the ride."

"No worries," I respond. "Bye, man."

"Why did you break up with Ygritte?" Arya asks me as we start driving home. "She was so cool."

"Not that it's any of your business," I respond. "But I told you, I thought we were better off as friends."

"Isn't the point to date someone who is also a good friend?"

"Well yeah, but—" I'm getting flustered. Why is she all up in my business? "It's more complicated than that, Arya. You don't understand because you're 12, but you will eventually."

I know she doesn't like it when I bring up how young she is, but she needs to know that this is something she just doesn't understand yet. She doesn't respond to my comment. I'm sure I've irritated her, but I feel like I can't say anything to my sisters these days without them getting mad.

Sansa Stark POV

I haven't told anyone that I lost my virginity, not even Arya. When I woke up on Monday, it still looks like I've been crying. I washed my face and put on makeup, which seems to cover it up enough. Ramsay was super affectionate with me that day, always holding my hand and being attentive. He walked me to class and drove me home. I guess that was supposed to make me feel better, but it didn't.

On Wednesday, I get home after cheer and Arya is doing her homework at her desk. I've been really quiet lately, and I think she can tell something's up. After I get changed and sit down on my bed, Arya clears her throat. "Sansa?" She asks.

"Yeah?" I say, looking up from my phone.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I reply looking back down. "Why?"

"I know you're lying to me. You've been really quiet lately."

I just pause and look at her. I gesture over to the closet and we go sit down in our spot. "Okay, I'll tell you," I whisper. "But if you tell mom, dad or any of the boys you're dead to me."

"Of course," Arya says, nodding.

"I lost my virginity on Valentine's Day."

Arya's eyes widen. "For real?"

"Yeah."

"How was it?"

"It hurt, and it all happened so fast. But I've been told it'll get better."

"Who else knows."

"No one, you're the first."

Arya smiles at me. "Thank you for telling me."

"I promised you I'd tell you everything when it happened, didn't I?" Arya can't seem to tell how conflicted I feel, which surprises me. I'm not looking forward to having sex again, but at least I can say I did it.

…

Ramsay took me home from cheer on Thursday, and we had sex in his car behind the school before leaving. I didn't like it, and he didn't really ask me if I wanted to do it. I do still like him, and I know this is what he expects. I just hope I can start enjoying it soon.

Jon and I have had a rocky relationship since our argument the night I started dating Ramsay. We've always fought, but he's been even more distant from me lately. I almost want to ask him for advice about how to get Ramsay less focused on sex since they're the same age, but I feel like I can't now that I've pissed him off so much.

Margaery and I haven't hung out in a while, so she invited me to hang out with her, Daenerys and Cersei taday, which is Saturday. She said they're just sleeping over at the Lannister's place and maybe getting food. Ramsay wanted to hang out with me, and he got kinda mad when I said I had plans. I just really need this time with my girls.

When I knock on the door, Jaime opens it. "They're all upstairs," he says to me. I walk up to Cersei's room and sure enough, the girls are all sitting in various spots in the room.

"Sansa!" Margaery says as I walk in. She walks up and gives me a hug. "We were worried you wouldn't come."

I sit down in one of Cersei's chairs, for some reason I feel awkward around everyone. "How's it going?" Dany asks me. "How are things with Ramsay?"

"Oh it's going okay," I respond, looking down at my lap. I'm hesitant to tell them everything.

"Are you sure?" Margaery asks me. "It seems like there's something on your mind."

"Well," I respond, still avoiding eye contact. "I lost my virginity to him on Valentine's day." I'm speaking so quietly.

"What?" Margaery loudly asks. A series of gasps from Cersei and Dany echo in the room.

"It's about time," Cersei chimes in. "I'm surprised he waited as long as he did." That irritates me, because he didn't wait. He refused to wait.

"How was it?" Dany asks me.

"Fine I guess," I respond, shrugging. "I don't know. It hurt. We did it again on Thursday in his car, which was really uncomfortable."

"Yeah, car sex isn't always fun," Margaery says. "Guys seem to like it though."

I don't like having this conversation, it feels gross to talk about. I thought my first time would be special, and I thought I'd want to tell my friends everything. But this feels different, I feel almost ashamed to bring it up. While they're continuing the conversation about their first times, Margaery gets everyone's fast food order.

"What do you want, Sansa?" Margaery asks me.

"Oh, I'm good," I respond. "I ate before I came." I didn't, but I'm worried if I eat I'll just throw it up. Talking about sex with Ramsay made me feel nauseous.

I walk into the bathroom to get a breather. I look at myself in the mirror, and I feel like I don't even recognize myself. So much has changed in the last few months. As I'm getting ready to step out of the bathroom, I glance at the trash. It looks like there's a pregnancy test box in the trash can, but I can barely see it. Is Cersei pregnant? She has been acting weird lately. Or is the test Dany's? I could see Dany wanting to take the test somewhere that isn't her house. I make a note of it, but I feel weird bringing it up.

A little while later, Jaime brings the food up to us. "You okay?" I hear him ask Cersei. She just nods, and he walks out. Cersei opens her bag and takes out the burger she got. That seems weird, I never see her eating junk. She opens her mouth, but before taking a bite she runs into the bathroom and throws up. We can hear her cleaning up and the sink running.

"Are you okay?" Margaery asks when Cersei walks out of the bathroom.

"Yeah," Cersei responds, sitting back down. "They just put onions on my burger, I hate how onions smell."

"Okay, but you never react like that," Margaery continues. "I don't want to get sick, and if you just threw up—"

"I'm fine, Margaery!" Cersei yells. "God, will you shut up? You won't get sick, quit being a bitch!" Everyone continues eating in silence, it's really awkward. What if Cersei really is pregnant? God that would be crazy.

Chapter 50

Ygritte Giantsbane POV

Gilly and I are getting ice cream one day after school. I haven't been hanging out with her one on one as much, I missed it. I need social interaction after Jon broke up with me. I still feel sad about it, he was good to me.

"Are you doing okay?" Gilly asks me, after we've ordered. "I know it's been hard since Jon broke up with you."

"I'm working through it," I reply. "I just really, really liked him."

"I know," she responds. There's a pause as we go outside and grab a table. "I'm honestly surprised he dumped you, you guys seemed really good together."

"I thought we were," I say as we sit down. "But he was always distant, even when we were just friends."

"It seems like no one can figure him out," Gilly says. "I like that Sam is never vague about how he's feeling."

"Yeah, how are things with Sam?" I ask. Gilly immediately lights up.

"He's wonderful," she responds. "He told me he loved me recently."

I gasp, that's so cute! Jon never told me that once. "That's so sweet, Gilly! When are you going to have him meet your dad and sisters?"

There's a pause as her face falls. "I don't know, Ygritte. You know my dad is kind of scary."

"I know, but Sam is like, the sweetest thing ever. How could anyone not like him?"

"My dad will find a way," Gilly responds. "But anyway, I'm really nervous for our science test. I don't really understand this unit."

Gilly always does this when her dad or her home life comes up in conversation. She changes the subject, or dodged whatever questions are being asked. It's weird, I've met Gilly's dad once and he was not very personable but other than that, he wasn't that scary. I wish I could figure out why she never talks about her life or her mom, or why she doesn't want her own boyfriend to meet her dad.

Cersei Lannister POV

Jaime and I are laying in bed together one night, and I can tell he's also having trouble sleeping even though he's facing away from me.

"Jaime?" I ask him. He turns to face me. "You can't sleep either?" He just shakes his head.

"Are you okay?" He asks me.

"Yeah," I respond, nodding. "But I made a decision that I wanted to tell you about."

"What is it?"

"I'm not going to tell Euron that I'm pregnant. I told you, I told Dany and I'll eventually tell father. But I'm going to hide it from everyone else."

"Cersei," Jaime says. "Why?"

"Because we're graduating in less than 4 months, I can hide it until then. Father won't have an issue keeping it a secret. I don't know how we're going to do it, but we can have a baby while we're in school."

"What are you going to do when people here eventually do find out? You know word travels fast."

"I'll figure something out, we'll have graduated by that point."

There's a pause. I can tell he isn't stoked about this plan, but he knows better than to argue with me. "Cersei," Jaime says after a long pause. "I told Tyrion."

"What?" I'm so angry, he knows how much that would piss me off. "Why the fuck would you do that?"

"I was scared, I didn't know what to do. He won't tell father, and father wouldn't believe that if it came from him anyway."

I'm pissed, so I just turn to face away from him.

"Cersei, don't," he continues. "Tyrion would eventually find out anyway, I didn't tell him until you had already decided to keep the baby."

I think about what he said. I can't push Jaime away right now, he's literally all I have. "Whatever," I say. "I just hate all of this."

"I know," Jaime says, kissing my shoulder. "But I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. This is our baby, this is our love, and no one can take what's ours." He's right, I just wish Tyrion didn't have to know anything. I know I'll have to tell father, but if it were all up to me, Jaime and I would run away and never look back.

Jon Snow Stark POV

Spring break is coming up in a couple weeks. I'm really hoping I can do some stuff with friends, I really need it. I'm leaving rock climbing practice with Sam one day, and Sansa, Daenerys and Margaery are leaving cheer practice around the same time so we bump into each other.

"Do you need a ride home?" I ask Sansa.

"No," she responds. "Dany is taking us home."

"We were actually going to get food it you want to come," Daenerys says. "We were just going to stop by the fast food place down the street."

"Do you want to?" I ask, looking at Sam.

"Yeah, sure," he responds, shrugging. "Sounds like fun." I can tell he's trying to act nonchalant, but he's clearly surprised that Daenerys Targaryen invited him somewhere, even just by association with me.

"Okay," I say to Daenerys. "We'll meet you there."

We get into my car, and Sam suddenly says to me, "Are we becoming popular?"

"I don't think it's that deep," I say, chuckling. "But sure, if it makes you feel better."

We pull up, and I see the girls getting out of Danaery's car and walking in. I half expected her to be bullshitting me and not show up. We walk in, and they're finishing up ordering. We order our food and then sit down at the table they found. I've never really paid attention, but Daenerys really is gorgeous. Obviously I knew she was pretty, it's all anyone says about her, but it's occuring to me now how strikingly beautiful she is. Her platinum hair really sticks out against her black, grey and yellow cheer uniform.

"Hey guys," Daenerys says to us as we sit down. "We were just talking about spring break."

"What are you guys doing?" Margaery asks me.

"I'm not sure," I reply. "I didn't have anything planned."

"I was actually thinking we could go to the national park," Daenerys says. "There's a great campsite by there, but it's 5 hours away."

"My parents won't ever let me do that," Sansa says. "Especially not that far away." She's right, mom and dad would put a stop to that before she could finish asking.

There's a pause of awkward silence. "Well, what if you brought Jon and a couple of his friends?" Daenerys asks. That catches me off guard.

"Seriously?" I ask.

"Why not?" Daenerys continues. "You could bring Sam and Gendry, and we could invite Ramsay, Theon and Jaime."

Sansa gives me a pleading look. "I guess we could ask mom and dad," I say. "I'm not sure they'll let us, though."

"We have a couple weeks to plan," Daenerys says. "It's just something to think about." I'll be honest, it does sound like fun. Maybe if mom and dad know Jon is invited, they'll feel like nothing questionable is happening.

"Sansa, are you ready to go?" I ask after we all finish eating. She's barely touched her fries, so I'm not sure she's ready. She nods and we get up with everyone else.

"Can we ask mom and dad about camping tonight?" Sansa asks on the way home.

"Tonight?" I ask.

"Why not? We need to be able to plan."

"Sure, but they may not give us an answer right away."

"That's why we need to ask now." We walk inside and mom and dad are in the kitchen. Sansa pauses before going in.

"What's wrong?" I ask her.

"I'm nervous," she replies. "You should ask."

"Sansa," she gives me another pleading look. "Fine. Mom, dad? Sansa wants to ask you something." She glares at me and we start walking towards the kitchen.

"Mom, dad?" She asks timidly when we get there. "My friend Daenerys invited me and Jon to go camping over spring break with a few other people. Can we go?"

"Who all is going to be invited?" My dad asks.

"Besides us? Theon, Ramsay, Gendry, Sam, Daenerys, Margaery and Cersei."

"Sansa, I don't know how I feel about you going camping alone with your boyfriend," my mom says.

"But we won't be alone," Sansa chimes in. "Jon is invited. He'll make sure we don't get out of hand."

"She has a point," my dad says to my mom. "We could use a few days with just the younger kids, remember we have that work thing. Also, this might be a good chance for Jon and Theon to patch things up." God that sounds so awkward. I haven't had a real conversation with Theon in a long time.

"Okay, fine," my mom finally says. "But only if you ride there with Jon." That seems fair. I'm surprised she agreed at all. Sansa seems very happy with that answer.