Delusive Fate

#007

Ki Baek-woo’s limbs were noticeably long and slender. Whether in the elevator or when lining up for training. People who happened to stand next to him couldn’t hide their desire to touch those well-muscled forearms, just once.

Moreover, befitting a main character, Ki Baek-woo, an S-class awakened, could use not just one, but two abilities. One was telekinesis and the other was water, wasn’t it? A handsome guy who’s also skilled and fights well against the apocalypse. Unless you were a socially maladjusted loner consumed by inferiority, Ki Baek-woo was someone you couldn’t help but like. It would be strange if the perfect Ki Baek-woo, who could be designated as a national treasure without anyone objecting, didn’t have fans.

And Jung Yi-dam. As the world’s only S-class healer, humans who didn’t want to get sick and wanted to live long naturally had to revere him. Healing abilities were so rare that even D-class healers were sought after, let alone an S-class. If Jung Yi-dam wanted, he could stage a coup and take over our country right away. That’s how extraordinary he was.

His appearance also perfectly targeted the tastes of our country’s people with his soft, refreshing tofu-like face, and his calm personality made it impossible for everyone not to love him. That “everyone” included the main characters, including Ki Baek-woo.

The other two are guys I don’t know well, Ji Woo-won and Lim Geon-woo. Anyway, it was natural that those two were also excellent without any particular flaws. So it wouldn’t be strange for them to have followers.

But not Choi Tae-hyuk. I couldn’t understand why they praised such a psychopath with a twisted personality. It felt similar to those strange people who fell into Satanism and worshipped the devil. But they claimed that Choi Tae-hyuk was actually on the level of the Archangel Gabriel. That he had risked danger to save them several times in the gates…

When I didn’t know that this world was a damn dating sim setting. Back then, I was also a little moved by the story of Choi Tae-hyuk and his believers.

‘Is Choi Tae-hyuk actually quite a decent tough guy? A warm frappuccino… Maybe he’s that kind of strange existence.’

Maybe I thought too negatively of Choi Tae-hyuk because I was on edge due to Ki Baek-woo cheating with Jung Yi-dam. Everyone has good points… It’s not enough to only show good sides to Baek-woo, but to show such a petty attitude just because he was called trash… Wait. Did I often do this? Is that why Baek-woo lost interest in me? I even beat myself up like this for a while.

But after realizing that this world was a pre-designed game. After learning that not only Ki Baek-woo, but also Choi Tae-hyuk was one of the pursuable targets and a main character.

‘Of course…’

So, Choi Tae-hyuk’s followers were just his tools. Tools consumed to make Choi Tae-hyuk appear as ‘a man cold to everyone but secretly righteous and warm only to the person he loves’.

For the sake of just one main character, Choi Tae-hyuk, they were forced to be in danger of death, forced to be saved by him and feel indebted, forced to worship and grovel before him. They became fools who laughed off being called trash and useless, because they had to be Choi Tae-hyuk’s decorations.

“This damn genre.”

Everyone here except the main characters is a nobody. Our selves and destinies are all just cheap accessories to decorate the main characters.

“The same goes for me.”

Chewing on the truth makes me feel like shit. It feels like my gloomy mood is emitting a stench. I feel unfortunate. Because I, too, exist merely as a narrative to decorate Ki Baek-woo.

At ten years old. Desperately fleeing while tightly holding Ki Baek-woo’s hand. At ten years old. A stupid child who could barely get five out of ten right in dictation, struggling with all his might to stay alive, to keep Ki Baek-woo, who was even younger, alive. Scurrying around like a sewer rat, stealing and snatching from others, rolling on the ground while bearing all their contempt.

At fourteen years old. Miraculously awakening. Even though it was just a C-class ability, I was so happy that I could somehow work and earn money. Desperately becoming ugly to somehow survive in the gates where no one guided me, to live and not leave Ki Baek-woo alone. Forcing myself despite being afraid and terrified of the apocalypse that devoured my mother. Feeling relieved that I could take care of Ki Baek-woo even when injured, torn, and broken…

All of those continuous hardships I endured, all those times that would make readers unable to hold back their tears if I wrote an autobiography… They all exist to decorate Ki Baek-woo. My pain, my suffering, my sadness and my devotion. All of them.

And, on a peaceful night one winter when Ki Baek-woo was approaching adulthood. The stories Ki Baek-woo whispered, curling up his body, which had grown larger than mine, like a child, and burrowing into my arms like when he was young.

‘Hyung, do you know what silkmoths are?’

‘They’re the ones that eat silkworm cocoons, right?’

‘Have you ever eaten them?’

‘No. But I’ve seen some old man eating them.’

Ki Baek-woo seemed to be thinking about something as he hugged my waist then. After just breathing quietly for a while, Ki Baek-woo spoke in an even quieter voice.

‘Hyung, but… I’m a pupa.’

‘You’re a pupa? Why? Did someone say you look like a pupa? Who was it? Is their eyesight like minus 100? Are they nearly blind? How can someone call our beautiful Baek-woo a pupa? Bring that bastard here tomorrow. I won’t let them off easy.’

‘No, it’s just… something I thought of. I’m a silkmoth pupa and you’re a silkworm cocoon.’

I was puzzled by Ki Baek-woo’s sudden words. He didn’t seem particularly interested in insects even when we were wandering the streets as children, so I couldn’t understand why he was suddenly talking about silkworms. Did something happen outside… Or is he confused because he’s about to become an adult? I didn’t know exactly, but I felt sorry for Ki Baek-woo. I stroked his round back of the head, hoping he wouldn’t feel anxious.

‘I don’t like moths. I don’t like cocoons either.’

‘No, but we’re silkmoths. Can’t you just go along with it…?’

‘But Baek-woo, have you ever seen a silkmoth?’

‘No, I haven’t. Have you, hyung?’

‘I think I have. I think we went on a field trip to a silkworm museum or something when I was in elementary school. But I don’t remember well… Anyway, why are we silkmoths? You said you’ve never even seen one.’

‘Well… Don’t laugh when you hear this. I’m being really serious right now…’

‘Okay. I’ll clench my teeth and try not to laugh.’

‘You know… You know that you’re my whole world, right?’

‘Kid, do you like hyung that much?’

‘Yes, I like you… I like you so much that I thought about it… Because you surround me, because I have nothing but you… That’s why I’m the pupa and you’re the cocoon. What do you think?’

Ki Baek-woo, asking for my opinion, looked precarious, like someone being chased. He continued without waiting for my answer.

‘I don’t know anything but you, hyung. Because I’m only inside you, because I’ll only be there, I think I’ll only know you in the future too…. Hyung, we’ll never be apart, right… Because you’ll never abandon me. We’ll be together forever, right?’

‘But Baek-woo… When a pupa becomes an adult, it tears the cocoon…’

‘I won’t do that. I’ll just stay there forever.’

‘Then that’s a dead pupa… Don’t die, Ki Baek-woo. How could I live alone?’

‘No… It’s not because I’m dead. I just don’t want to leave because it’s the best place. I really hate the outside of the cocoon. I want to keep knowing only you, living only with you. I wish no one else would come between us. So hyung, we’ll be together forever until we die, right? Will you do that for me?’

‘Geez, okay. Let’s be together until we die.’

‘Even after death?’

‘I don’t know what will happen after death… They say you get amnesia when you cross the Sanzu River. Anyway, I’ll try my best to ask the grim reaper to let us stay together even after death if possible.’

‘Really?’

‘Really.’

‘Hyung, but…’

Burying his small face in my chest, wrapping his strong arms tightly around my back, Ki Baek-woo whispered that day in a voice full of anxiety and nervousness.

‘Hyung, you know… I love you.’

‘I love you too.’

Ki Baek-woo’s voice, coming out stutteringly as if squeezed, was tinged with tears, as if too desperate to be fearful.

‘Hyung, you know… That’s not it… I want to kiss.’

‘What? What do you want to do?’