Delusive Fate

#009

“What do you mean?”

“I mean we almost never saw each other again. You said we’d be together even after death. You were crying and saying that.”

“I wasn’t crying.”

“Yes, you were.”

“I don’t remember that. I only remember coolly confessing like this: ‘I love you, Lee Han-sol. From now on, I’ll call you by name, not hyung. No objections allowed.'”

“‘Waaah, hyung is like a cocoon,’ you sniffled. ‘Huuung, I’m a chrysalis but I want to kiss the cocoon,’ you wailed.”

“What’s that? When did I ever say that? That’s completely stupid. Honestly, it wasn’t that bad. Don’t exaggerate, why are you slandering me?”

“I’ll give you a kiss, chrysalis. Pucker up.”

“You mock my pure confession and try to make up for it with just a kiss?”

“How about sex then?”

“Now that shows some sincerity. Ten times.”

Ki Baek-woo planted small kisses on my lips while giggling. His playful laughter entered my mouth, tickling the roof of it. It felt like the tickling wouldn’t stop unless Baek-woo’s tongue rubbed against the roof of my mouth. I was so happy I could sigh.

“You want me to die? Twice.”

“Five times.”

“Three times.”

“But I’m in a hurry, so let’s do it on the couch.”

Our bodies tangled urgently on the couch, barely giving us time to breathe. The sound of our giggles never stopped even as we kneaded and licked each other’s bodies in a primal way. It was joy and relief that we were still alive together.

“Hey, Ki Baek-woo, when did you get this hard?”

“Guess when it happened.”

Baek-woo liked to kiss my eyelids. The small mole on my right eyelid. After rubbing his lips there to his satisfaction, his lips would soon move down to my cheek. He liked the mole on my cheek too. Baek-woo would always smile ecstatically, saying that if you connect the mole on my eyelid with the one on my cheek, it forms a perfect straight line. I always thought how fortunate I was to have such moles. In truth, I hadn’t even cared whether I had moles on my face until Baek-woo pointed them out.

I slowly stroked Baek-woo’s nape as he pressed his lips to my cheek like a baby bird, and said:

“When we kissed?”

“No.”

“When I was giving you lots of pecks?”

“No.”

“Then when did you get hard?”

“When I was entering the door lock password.”

“What?”

“Just thinking you might be inside got me hard.”

“Sometimes just thinking about hyung’s name gets me hard. It’s like that when we’re apart for a while. Do you know how troublesome that is during raids? How are you going to take responsibility for this?”

When Baek-woo would say such things with an intentionally serious expression, I would pretend to struggle and make a fuss. But we were still laughing.

“Aah! Police officer, there’s a pervert in our house, please come arrest him!”

“That’s right, I’m a pervert, so I’m going to eat up our delicious Han-sol.”

Waaah. The sensation of him gently nibbling my soft lower belly along with that sound was vivid. I also remember how hot Baek-woo’s palms were as he slowly took off my pajama top.

We were always like that. Before Jung Yi-dam appeared, before I died too many times. We were always like that.

But not anymore.

Even with these past memories, I didn’t feel particularly cold-hearted, nor did I feel sad or hysterical. I just stared at Baek-woo impassively, truly feeling no emotion at all.

The corners of Baek-woo’s mouth, which had been curved up when he entered the house, drooped. His face twitched awkwardly as he tried to force a smile. Still handsome, though.

“What’s wrong, hyung? It’s like you didn’t miss me at all. Come here and give me a hug.”

“What hug? I’m busy. You must be tired… well, tired? Probably not, you probably had fun with someone. Anyway, hurry up and go wash up and rest.”

It became bothersome to even look at him, so I just waved my hand dismissively. I started typing on the laptop on the coffee table again. My noble and sharp eagle-like typing method.

B district… jeon…se. Tap tap tap.

  B district jeonse

Pressing enter brings up quite a few listings.

Oh, good. Nice, nice.

I scrolled through the listings diligently, turning the mouse wheel. If I saw a place I liked, I had to contact the real estate agent without delay.

B district is a safe zone with significantly fewer gate occurrences compared to A district where I currently live. Moreover, it includes land that used to be southern Gyeonggi-do, so the infrastructure is decent. Naturally, it’s populated, so information spreads quickly.

For these reasons, B district is currently the most popular area among non-awakened individuals and C-class or lower hunters who aren’t obligated to stay in A district. Given these circumstances, good real estate listings in B district were so quick to sell that transactions couldn’t keep up with demand.

I didn’t know this, but after carefully selecting houses I liked over two days and leisurely contacting agents, there were no listings left. I was told that four out of five places had already been taken. The remaining one was a false listing.

When I expressed disbelief at how all the houses could be gone in just a day or two, the real estate agent said:

“Listen, in B district, it’s not the early bird that gets the worm. Only those who stay up all night waiting on the street have a chance. You seem unfamiliar with this, but the moment you see a listing you like, you need to put down a deposit right away to have any chance. Understand?”

Even though it was over the phone, I could clearly picture the real estate agent’s expression. An incredibly thick expression treating me like a clueless novice…

Of course, I am a novice. I’ve always lived in A district because of Baek-woo. I only knew about the hot spots in B district that Baek-woo and I visited on dates, but I knew nothing about real estate.

Well, it’s not like I knew much about A district real estate either…

It’s the area we moved to when Baek-woo awakened as an S-class at sixteen, forced by the residency law requiring B-class and above hunters to live in A district. We’ve been living in this house we hastily bought then, so I’ve never had a reason to look into real estate.

Anyway, I scrolled the mouse wheel diligently, searching for a small, comfortable, sunny, and peaceful house located in B district.

“Hyung.”

“You’re still there? What?”

“I really missed you… Didn’t you miss me at all?”

“Well… no, I missed you too.”

“Hyung, give me a hug…”

“I told you I’m busy.”

“You didn’t hug me when you left either. Hyung, why are you suddenly like this? Did I do something wrong?”

This bullshit is getting out of hand…

Ki Baek-woo stood in place without even taking off his shoes, showing uncharacteristic stubbornness.

Annoyed by his persistent bothering, I glanced at Baek-woo. Not even trying to hide my irritation, I looked at him. Baek-woo’s lips quivered. As I was about to turn my head away again since he didn’t say anything, Baek-woo finally spoke urgently.

“I got hurt.”

“What?”

“I… you told me to be careful of water, but suddenly a wave came up and swept me away. It happened so suddenly I couldn’t avoid it… Only me and one other team member fell into this double dungeon, so it was tough dealing with that.”

“So where and how are you hurt?”

Baek-woo hesitantly raised his arm and rolled up his shirt sleeve. His forearm was red. But it didn’t look like bruising from a fight. It was clearly redness caused by human hands. At best, it looked like someone had grabbed him strongly or scratched him with their nails. Small drops of blood were even starting to form here and there, as if he had just been injured.

“It hurts… If you’re angry about something, can’t you tell me? I’m sorry, I don’t know why you’re mad… Hyung, please hug me.”

I watched Baek-woo’s pathetic whining with indifference.

It wasn’t even worth despising. Anyone could see those were scratches from a person. Did he scratch himself? Maybe he got bitten by mosquitoes. Or they could be marks from Jung Yi-dam’s hands.

Destruction doesn’t leave such trivial wounds. I know because I’ve died many times to Destruction. Baek-woo must know I won’t be fooled. Even though I’m just F-class, I’m still a hunter who runs dungeons.

But he must believe it. The past me would have made a fuss even over one of Baek-woo’s hangnails. If Baek-woo got even slightly hurt, I would become depressed as if I had been diagnosed with a terminal illness, even though the injury was on him.

He must be counting on that. He knows that no matter how angry I am, if he’s hurt, I’ll soften up at least forcibly. Even though Baek-woo has grown up and is now twenty-two years old, he’s completely certain that if he shows me an injury on his body, I’ll eventually let my guard down and comfort him in my arms, treating him like the 7-year-old Baek-woo.

This bastard… who does he think he’s trying to fool…

“Ki Baek-woo, go quickly.”

“Huh?”

“I said go away quickly and come back.”

“Me? Where to?”

“The center’s dormitory.”

After I blurted that out and turned back to my laptop, Baek-woo dropped his arm limply and asked:

“Why should I go there? Hyung, I just got home…”

“If you’re hurt, you should go to a healer. Ask Jung Yi-dam to heal you.”

I’m not a doctor, so don’t tell me about these things anymore.

I muttered without even looking at him, and there was no response. I didn’t particularly care.

Around the time I sent messages to three real estate agents asking if I could view some houses, I heard a rustling sound belatedly. Thinking he was finally leaving, I glanced over, but Baek-woo wasn’t leaving. He was slowly heading towards the bedroom. With an expression I hadn’t seen in a very long time.

It was a winter day when Baek-woo had just turned eleven. On a particularly dark and quiet dawn. Unable to sleep that night, I had left the sleeping Baek-woo and gone out to scavenge for something to eat. When I returned, that was the expression I saw.

In the abandoned building where we were hiding at the time. Baek-woo sat motionless like a lifeless doll in a cold corner.

‘What’s this, Baek-woo? Why are you up?’

‘Hyung…’

‘Are you sick? Why do you look like that? Where does it hurt?’

‘I thought you had abandoned me… I thought you finally left me behind because I’m too useless…’