Chapter 58
Days passed with no gain, and it was around the time I became a Pigeon Master, having passed the phase of being a pigeon maniac. The pigeons’ wingbeats seemed to have changed. Glancing sideways, I saw a cleric pushing through the pigeons to approach me.
He stood tiredly beside me, sprawled out. I took a quick look and then turned my gaze back to the sky.
“Aren’t you going to the academy?” he asked.
“I no longer aspire to learn….”
“Please, get up. How can a noble lady lie down just anywhere like this?”
“Who can tell I’m a noble or whatever? Lying here, I might as well be mistaken for a commoner.”
“Even if no one sees, you should behave in a manner befitting your status.”
“I was originally from a lowly family in the world. This posture suits me well….”
Clenching his teeth, the cleric said, “This won’t resolve anything. I will send someone to the academy if a solution is found, so please return home….”
I turned away in disdain at his words and lay back down. The cleric sighed as if he were lifting a heavy weight from his diaphragm. Then, he covered my exposed legs with a thin shawl.
“Whatever world you came from, there are manners and laws to be observed here,” he said in a brisk tone. Though I couldn’t see his face, I knew what he meant by his words. But oddly, I felt even more inclined to respond rudely. Despite knowing how childish and pathetic it was.
“I didn’t come here willingly, nor do I live this way because I want to.”
“The only debt I owe in this world is to the owner of this body. I’m not interested in anything else. Manners, laws.”
He was silent for a long time.
“Then all the more you should consider the original owner of the body…”
“If she’s already gone, what’s the point of me alone observing manners? It’s just a comforting self-deception.”
With that, I completely covered myself with the shawl. His quiet sigh was the last I heard before his footsteps faded away.
The sunlight was still warm, and the shawl he had draped over me felt soft. It just left a rough patch in my heart.
From that day on, the cleric would stiffen his expression whenever he saw me, merely nodding his head and passing by emptily. Regardless, I continued my daily routine until a familiar voice called out to me.
“What are you doing here!”
With a baffled expression, Agnes was looking at me from a distance. I responded while sprinkling bread crumbs.
“I’m feeding the pigeons.”
“I know that. But why are you feeding them?”
“They have to eat to live, too.”
“What are you talking about…”
Agnes muttered incredulously as she carefully stepped around the pigeons to come closer.
“You haven’t been to class for days, and you’re not in the dormitory either!”
“Do you know how worried Senior Irene is about you? She was going to report you to the security force because you weren’t coming home late at night. I stopped her.” Agnes chattered as she firmly sat down beside me.
“Do you know how hard it is to pretend to be you every time they call attendance? Yesterday, I think one of the professors noticed.”
I stared at Agnes as she boldly talked about proxy attendance.
“How did you know I was here?”
“I followed you!” Agnes declared confidently. I was left speechless by her audacity.
“What… What happens if a student misses classes?”
“What do you mean? You were the first to skip.”
I had nothing more to say. As I continued to feed the pigeons, Agnes looked at me with a worried expression.
“Why are you like this? Is something wrong? You look awful.”
“There’s nothing wrong…”
“The girl who would stay up all night drinking tea by the potful to maintain her scholarship suddenly skips classes and isn’t seen at the academy. And when followed, she’s just feeding pigeons…”
“What’s wrong with you, really?” Agnes’s voice softened now. Passing clerics glanced at us curiously. It seemed Agnes noticed their piercing looks.
“I’m worried about you…”
Suddenly raising her voice, Agnes sounded out of place. Hearing that, my heart, which had softened upon seeing her after so long, suddenly felt weighed down by a rock.
“Hey, why are you suddenly like this?”
“I forgot we’re outside the academy.”
Agnes replied a bit rudely, yet nonchalantly. Her words reminded me of one of the countless reasons I desperately wanted to leave this place. The shallow boundary of the academy walls made even a close friend formally address me, and I hated this world for it. It wasn’t the formal speech I detested, but the hierarchy that made it necessary was something I could not adapt to.
‘I really want to get out of this cursed book.’
I felt like crying.
“Is it because there are other people around? If that’s the case, when it’s just us…”
“Even in the academy, I know how to address nobility appropriately,” Agnes replied.
Her words made my chest feel even more constricted, almost to the point of bursting. I truly wanted to leave this world as soon as possible. No matter how I thought about it, this world’s system did not suit someone who had lived without a class system for over twenty years. It was one thing for me to elevate my speech to others, but it felt all the more oppressive when a friend had to speak so formally to me.
‘But still…’
I took a moment to catch my breath and responded with a sense of resignation, “…Alright. It doesn’t matter to me. As long as you’re okay with it. Do whatever you want in front of others, elevate your speech or whatever. I don’t want to make things difficult for you just for my comfort. But if you’re really elevating your speech to me because I’m nobility, because that’s what bothers you…”
I rambled on, but somehow my throat tightened, “Don’t. If you do that, too…”
The unspoken words, ‘then I won’t have anyone I can speak comfortably with,’ hung in the air as I turned away and laid my head on Agnes’s lap. I hoped Agnes hadn’t seen my expression. But even so, my thoughts wouldn’t stop.
‘What’s the point of saying this? After all, Agnes belongs here and right now, it’s me who’s…’
My thoughts were abruptly halted as Agnes smacked my forehead. Surprised, I blinked open my eyes, and Agnes glanced around before leaning in and whispering quietly.
“Hey, why stop talking? You started this, no backsies.”
“What?”
“When else would I get to talk back to a noble outside the academy? Since you started it, you can’t complain later.”
With that, Agnes, who claimed to understand etiquette, quickly shifted her demeanor, looking both cheeky and somewhat excited. I stared dumbfounded, unable to expect such a response. Whether I reacted or not, Agnes seemed not to care. Then, in rhythm, she tapped, tapped on my forehead.
Her fingers kept hitting my head, making it impossible for me to think any further.
And that was fine.
“Hey, but…”
Just then, Agnes grimaced seriously and leaned in again, making me tense up slightly as I waited for what she might say next.
“Your head smells. When’s the last time you washed it?”
With that, the tension broke, and I couldn’t help but let out a snickering laugh.
“It hasn’t been a week yet.”
“Ah! You must be crazy!”
Upon hearing my response, Agnes screamed and began tapping her feet on the ground, apparently trying to dislodge my head from her lap without actually touching it with her hands. Although my head felt the impact, my heart was at ease.
As my head continued to be bounced by Agnes without any particular thought, I noticed the pigeons’ movements change again. The flapping, the tranquil cooing, and the pace of footsteps—it seemed to be that cleric.
Sure enough, the cleric stood before us, offered a greeting, and then spoke to me without hiding his reluctant expression.
“This person is…”
“My friend.”
His face darkened, and he began muttering as if to himself.
“It’s like pigeons multiplying. Doesn’t the academy manage its students…?”
Comparing a person to a pigeon—that was too harsh even for pigeons. I pretended not to hear and changed the subject.
“Why are you here again?”
“This is originally my…!”
He stopped himself and sighed deeply before continuing.
“I’ve found a way.”
“Really?”
I abruptly got up from Agnes’s lap, surprising her. She looked at me, bewildered, while she briskly wiped her knee with a handkerchief she had pulled out.
“Can you wait a moment? I’ll be back soon after you staying with them a bit.”
“Them? The pigeons?”
Who else would she stay with? Agnes looked baffled and then snatched the piece of bread from my hand, replying in a sulky tone.
“Hurry back, I’m bored alone.”
Her pouty demeanor was oddly endearing, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Alright, I’ll be quick.”
I followed the cleric as he led the way.