Lost

“Uh, really, is that okay?”“Do you want to die?”When I glared at him, Jung Woojin pulled away reluctantly. If I kept acting like this, Jung Woojin wouldn’t sleep either. I crawled under the blanket and rested my head on the pillow. Then Jung Woojin followed suit, hugging me tightly.“Just thinking about not seeing you for a week makes me feel like I’m going to die.”“I’ve never heard of anyone dying from that.”“What if a thief breaks into your house while you’re alone without me?”“…”What a ridiculous thing to say… I sighed, looking at Jung Woojin with a dumbfounded expression.“I’ll cry because I miss you so much, Sunbae.”Jung Woojin started whining, rubbing his face against mine as he clung to me. Ignoring him, I stared at the ceiling for a moment before asking.“How big is the time difference between here and there?”“Paris? Hmm, it’s about seven or eight hours, I think?”I calculated the time for a moment before speaking.“Then if I call you in the morning, it’ll be nighttime for you.”“You’re going to call me?”Jung Woojin suddenly sat up, looking excited. He was the one who insisted we video call at least three times a day, so I didn’t understand why he was so thrilled.“You call before bed.”“Can’t you do it?”I didn’t see much of a difference, but I nodded anyway.“Then text me before bed, and I’ll call.”With that, Jung Woojin hugged me again. I was looking straight ahead, but I could sense him staring at me from the side.Last time, when he was in the hospital for his hand, he fell asleep while we were on the phone. Maybe if we talk on the phone again, he could fall asleep without needing to take medicine. I couldn’t outright tell him to stop taking his meds, so I thought this was the best way to help.But why does this guy even have insomnia? From the way he talks sometimes, it seems like he’s been taking medication since before we met, but I don’t know why. Could he have had some kind of problem? That made me recall when Jung Woojin did drugs in high school. Did that lead him to start taking sleeping pills, too?As I frowned, lost in thought, Jung Woojin asked.“What are you thinking about?”When I glanced at him, he reached out and pressed between my eyebrows. I quietly watched him for a moment before asking.“Hey, why did you end up at the orphanage?”“Huh?”“When you were younger.”A faint memory of the rumors I’d heard when he came to the orphanage resurfaced. There had been talk about him being found with his mother’s corpse… As I was thinking that, Jung Woojin responded with an “Ah.”“My mom told me we’d go see my dad the next day and asked me to go to the store to buy a few things.”“…”It was an abrupt story, but I quietly listened to what he was saying.“I don’t really remember what she asked me to buy… Maybe a toothbrush and some soap… Ramen too, I think… So I went and bought everything, came back, and found her sleeping. I was tired too, so I put down the stuff I bought and slept beside her. But even the next day, she didn’t wake up.”“…”“Not the next day either, or the day after that.”I had thought the rumors were just baseless gossip, but it turned out that being found with his mother’s corpse was true.“I found out later that she had committed suicide. My mom worked at a bar, and my dad ran off with another woman. I guess that’s why she killed herself.”Listening to him calmly explain all this, I didn’t know what to say. Even though it had been a long time since it happened, the fact that he was sharing such details meant he hadn’t forgotten.“So while I was next to her, I even ate the ramen I bought from the store. And after waking up, I was in the hospital. But no one told me where my mom was, and when I asked to go to her, they wouldn’t take me. So I just cried. After that, I ended up going to the orphanage.”After finishing, Jung Woojin looked at me and continued.“It was the same day you told me to wait by the tree, Sunbae.”“…”My body stiffened at the sudden mention of that topic. Why bring that up now, after talking about his mom? As I frowned in confusion, Jung Woojin smiled.“I waited there, too, until I dozed off. It was cold, and I was sleepy.”It wasn’t dozing off—it was more like he fainted. If I had found him any later, he might have frozen to death.“But when I woke up, I was in the hospital again. I kept asking where you were, but no one answered, and when I said I wanted to go to you, they wouldn’t take me. So I cried again.”“…”“After I got adopted, I couldn’t sleep well anymore. Everyone leaves when I sleep.”“…”When I swallowed hard, my face stiffening, Jung Woojin squinted and asked.“You saw the sleeping pills in my suitcase and that’s why you asked, isn’t it?”“…”“Right? That’s why you asked about the time difference and told me to call before bed.”“…”I was too flustered and felt like he’d seen right through me, so I couldn’t say anything. When I stayed silent, Jung Woojin smiled and hugged me.“When my mom said we’d go see my dad, looking back now, I think she already planned to die. My mom was really pretty, you know. But then she stopped taking care of herself, didn’t eat much, and her skin became rough.”Jung Woojin hugged me tighter. It was hard to breathe, but I couldn’t push him away.“One day, she brought a man home. At first, there was just one, but the next day there were two. And from then on, sometimes five or six men would come. I’d hide in my room, and when I got hungry, I’d sneak out to grab snacks or drinks and then go back to my room. On the days no men came, my mom would hug me and cry, just saying she was sorry.”“…”“I didn’t know what she was sorry for, but I said sorry too. The next day, my mom told me we’d go see my dad. Before I went to the store, she cut my hair, bathed me, ironed my clothes, and even made me sweet potatoes.”Though Jung Woojin spoke calmly, for some reason, I felt sad. I had gone through hardships as a child and after leaving the orphanage, so I never really empathized with others’ difficult stories or tragedies on TV. But I couldn’t brush off what Jung Woojin was saying.“If you ever leave me, Sunbae, I might end up like my mom—living like that and then dying.”“…”I won’t leave you.Afraid my voice might shake, I couldn’t say it out loud. I just stared straight ahead while Jung Woojin looked up at me.“Before I die, I’ll kill you, Sunbae, and the bastard you cheat on me with. I’ll tear him apart and then kill myself.”I no longer felt much when I heard him say things like this. Not because I doubted he could do it, but because I’d heard it so many times. Based on everything he’d done so far, if I ever cheated, Jung Woojin was indeed capable of murder.Every time I heard things like this, it made me realize how abnormal our relationship was.“I’m not going to be like my mom. I’ll make sure… Sunbae, right in front of you, that bastard—”Jung Woojin’s face twisted like a monster as he began muttering strange things. Before he could get worse, I reached out and grabbed the hand that was clutching my collar like a lifeline. The murderous look on his face softened the moment my hand touched his, and he looked at me.Tears welled up in his eyes, and his contorted face soon turned into one about to cry.“Sunbae, I really love you.”“…”“I really like you. You’re the only one for me, Sunbae.”Jung Woojin was always like this. He would threaten me, saying he’d kill or die, and once he felt a little reassured, he’d beg and plead while crying, practically groveling. That was his way of confessing his love.“I love you.”Jung Woojin started rubbing his face against the back of my hand while crying. I hadn’t even gotten angry or said anything, but it always ended like this. It was because he didn’t trust me, I guess. Maybe he was scared of how I would react. Even just listening to him exhausted me emotionally, so I couldn’t imagine how drained Jung Woojin must feel.“Hey.”Jung Woojin sniffled as he looked at me. A sigh escaped me automatically at the sight of his dumb, dazed expression.“Don’t do this outside, seriously.”“What?”“Someone might think you’re an idiot and try to take you away.”As soon as I finished speaking, another sigh escaped. Jung Woojin kept sniffling, still muttering about how much he loved me and how much he liked me.Will there ever be a day when Jung Woojin trusts me? I don’t know how to make him feel secure or calm. Maybe I should start confessing my love a dozen times a day like him, hugging and reassuring him every chance I get?Just imagining it sent shivers down my spine, almost making me want to throw up. I could maybe do it once, but doing it constantly like Jung Woojin was something I could never manage, no matter how many times I thought about it.As I was lost in these serious thoughts, the sound of Jung Woojin’s sniffles kept getting on my nerves. Why does he cry so easily? If I tell him to stop, he cries harder; if I tell him to go ahead and cry, he just bawls even louder, damn it.Annoyed, I reached out and brushed his tear-soaked cheek. Jung Woojin looked at me with a sorrowful expression, then leaned closer and kissed my lips. It was so sudden, but I stayed still with an awkward expression, fearing that if I pushed him away, he’d start crying even more.His hot tongue gently swept over my lips and slipped into my mouth. The kiss, which had been polite and light at first, grew more intense the longer it lasted. By the time I was panting for breath, I knew I had to stop this, so I gently pushed against his shoulder.Then, just like I had earlier, Jung Woojin reached out and brushed my cheek. I watched him quietly, and as he always did, I leaned into his palm and closed my eyes.If I told him I loved him, would he stop crying? No, he’d probably cry because he’s happy. At least he wouldn’t cry with that sad, pitiful look on his face.I opened my eyes and looked at Jung Woojin, my lips moving silently. But no words came out. As he moved his hand from my cheek to my neck, I noticed the scar on his hand. It was from a few months ago, from when he caused a scene at the bar.The wound had healed, but the scar remained, its red and blotchy marks looking like a tattoo. As I stared at it, Jung Woojin pulled back the blanket and positioned himself between my legs. But I couldn’t say anything, as memories of that time flashed before my eyes.“Sunbae.”Jung Woojin called my name. With a wet voice, he kept calling me, as if seeking permission, waiting for my answer. I turned my gaze toward him and moved my lips again, but still, no sound came out. I cursed under my breath and kissed the scarred back of his hand. Jung Woojin’s eyes widened in surprise, but only for a moment.With his other hand, he stroked my chest, parting the loosely tied robe around my waist. He straightened up, lifting my legs and licking from the inside of my thigh. I raised my arms to cover my face and cursed again.Damn it, I have to wake up early tomorrow… Ah, shit. Damn it. Damn it.As I kept cursing under my breath, he sucked on the flesh of my thighs. A sound escaped my lips as he bit and sucked harder. Each time he bit into my skin, my toes curled. After biting the flesh of my thighs and the soft skin behind my knees, he moved down to my calves. Just as I braced myself to kick him, he bit my ankle bone.“Hey, wa—”I lowered my arms, ready to tell him off, but then Jung Woojin kissed the top of my foot. He didn’t say anything, didn’t call my name, didn’t ask me to call him. It was so unusually quiet tonight, and the unfamiliarity of it made my body tremble even more. As I shuddered and squirmed, Jung Woojin licked my heel. He kissed each toe and ran his tongue between them.“What are you—hey! Stop that!”What the hell kind of stupid thing is this? Shocked, I screamed, but Jung Woojin didn’t move. Then, my sole was licked. My body trembled, and I felt a reaction between my legs. I gasped, closing my eyes, but Jung Woojin continued licking and biting his way up my calves and thighs. He licked my half-erect member and left bite marks on my belly and chest. After biting and licking my collarbone and neck, he sucked on my lips and nose. No matter how much I struggled and pushed him away, he didn’t budge.He flipped me over and licked the sweat from my back. He traced each rib, biting along the way before nibbling at my tailbone and licking everywhere, even inside. When I tried to run away, he grabbed my ankle and bit it, and when I flailed and begged him to stop, he sucked the skin behind my knees. He spent ten or twenty minutes licking my fingers, wrists, arms, and armpits. Finally, he even chewed and sucked on my hair. As I lay limp and exhausted, Jung Woojin continued licking, biting, and sucking every inch of my body. He let out a hot breath and kissed my lips, then called me.“Sunbae.”While I gasped for breath, something wet dripped from the corner of my eye, sliding toward my temple. With blurred vision, I saw Jung Woojin looking down at me.“Sunbae.”The moment he called me again, his tears fell, sliding down to the corner of my eye. I reached out, pulling Jung Woojin by the neck and kissing his tear-soaked eyes. While I did, his fully erect member rubbed between my wet folds. Slowly, gently, I felt myself opening up. I was already so soft inside that the dull ache lasted only for a moment. The sensation of him filling me, scraping against my inner walls, blurred my vision even more.“Sunbae.”I bit my lip, holding my breath, but at the sound of him calling me, I let out a gasp. The pressure inside made it hard to breathe, and I panted in short breaths, trying to adjust, but before I could, Jung Woojin started to move his hips. Not yet, damn it. I moaned through clenched teeth, and Jung Woojin asked,“Does it feel good?”“Ahh…!”The sensation of him stretching me from within made it impossible to answer; all I could do was pant. His cock, buried deep inside, pulled out slowly, only to push back in again, spreading me wide. Gripping his sweat-soaked shoulders, I trembled and, unable to hold back, dug my nails into his skin.“Just… go faster…!”“I thought you were in pain.”“I’m not, ahh!”A loud thud echoed as it hit hard. I lifted my head and gasped for air, hearing a chuckle near my ear.“Do you like it?”“Ugh, ah…”Without responding, I bit my lip, and Jung Woojin stuck out his tongue, licking the corner of my mouth. When I slightly loosened my lips, his tongue slipped between them. He licked the roof of my mouth, sucking on my tongue while slowly moving his hips. My mouth was blocked, and I could only let out muffled groans, trying to move my hips in time with his rhythm.As Jung Woojin kissed me deeply, pressing our lips together, he must have noticed the strength leaving my body, as he lifted his head. He then slid his hand under the inside of my knee, bending me further and exhaling. My vision blurred, and as I frowned, Jung Woojin paused for a moment, tilting his head and lightly grazing his teeth over my protruding ankle bone.In the past, Jung Woojin used to rush as if his life depended on it, but lately, he had been acting strange. It was as if he was observing everything carefully, taking his time, adjusting his pace, and behaving more leisurely. Of course, he would still get as frantic as a dog in heat eventually, but compared to before, his urgency had lessened a lot. While the change was less exhausting for me and I liked it, in a way, it also felt a bit too embarrassing, which I disliked.As he gently moved his hips, gazing down at me from above, I turned my head to avoid his eyes. Eventually, I raised my hand to cover my face. But no sooner had I done that than Jung Woojin grabbed my wrist, kissed the tips of my fingers, and made it impossible for me to hide my face. Even then, his movements were so slow, almost nonexistent, that I couldn’t help but frown.“Tomorrow, at dawn…” I panted, barely getting the words out, and Jung Woojin laughed.“Why? I just want to enjoy this moment.”Enjoy, my ass.“Just hurry up, already, ugh!”Just as I was about to tell him to finish, his length slid out from behind. The sensation of it brushing against my inner walls as it withdrew sent a shiver down my spine, and I bit my lip. Slowly blinking, I saw Jung Woojin lie back down on the bed and lift me on top of him. My legs wobbled as I couldn’t muster enough strength in my waist, so Jung Woojin grabbed my waist firmly and licked his lips.“Then, why don’t you do it, Sunbae?”“What?”“Sunbae, I want you to put it in and move for me.”Has he lost his mind? This bastard was serious, though, judging by the look on his face. I turned my head to glance at the clock—it was already late. Given the situation, it seemed easier to just do as Jung Woojin suggested—get it over with quickly by doing it myself so we could both sleep sooner. Frowning, I grabbed his still intimidatingly hard length and slowly pushed it back in. My legs trembled as I tried to lower myself, but the position made it hard to breathe, and I just couldn’t sit down fully.“Need help?”“No, I got this, ugh!”Before I could finish speaking, he pressed down on my waist, and I ended up sinking all the way down. It went in deeper than when we were lying down, and the pressure took my breath away. Bending over, I tried to catch my breath, but Jung Woojin reached out, using his palm to push my erection up against my stomach and rub it. I couldn’t even lift my head, trembling as I tried to stifle any sounds, but then he started stroking me.“Wait, ah! Damn it, hold on, ugh…”“You’re already close, huh?”His hand movements sped up. I braced myself, pressing my hand against Jung Woojin’s stomach, struggling to keep from collapsing. I could barely make any sound besides panting, too overwhelmed to even tell him to stop, while dirty talk kept pouring into my ear.“You’re clenching so hard inside right now.”“Ugh, haa… ah…!”“If you can’t handle thrusting in and out, maybe just try rotating your hips?”I wasn’t in any state to think about rotating my hips or anything like that. My vision kept blurring and clearing again, flickering in and out. I kept my head down, eyes closed, trembling uncontrollably until I eventually came. When I snapped back to reality, I realized my mouth was open and drool was dripping out. I looked up to see Jung Woojin’s stomach splattered with cloudy semen.“Wow, you were twitching inside so much when you came.”“Haah… ugh… haa.”“I really don’t want to go to work tomorrow.”He kept talking about how he wanted to stay like this or how he hated how time was passing so fast, and I just stared blankly at the semen on his stomach. Well, more like I was staring at his stomach itself. Did he lose some weight? He looked slimmer than the last time I saw him. Maybe it’s just because he’s lying down. No, he definitely looked like he lost some weight. I reached out, almost entranced, and lightly rubbed my fingertip over his stomach.At first, I lightly grazed the center of his stomach with my index finger, but eventually, I covered his entire belly with my palm. With every movement, the muscles beneath felt firm to the touch, slickening as they spread the semen.“You’ve lost weight…”Suddenly, my body fell backwards. I closed my eyes briefly, then opened them to find Jung Woojin back on top of me. Still connected, we toppled backward together onto the bed, ending up lying inverted, almost falling off. Startled, I opened my eyes wide, and suddenly vigorous thrusting began. Whatever leisure we had moments ago vanished, replaced by movements so fast I couldn’t even stop the cries.“Ah, wait, just a moment, ah! Oh, oh, oh!”Reflexively, I reached out and grabbed Jung Woojin’s shoulder. Each forceful thrust made my grip tighten intensely, the sounds echoing loudly. I gripped his shoulder with fingers like hooks, alternating between gripping tightly and pushing away. It was too fast and urgent; I couldn’t even match the rhythm with my hips.Eventually, sprawled out, I tore at the blanket with my hands, screaming almost like a cry until Jung Woojin finally climaxed deeply inside. Only then could I catch my breath, gasping intensely as my body trembled. As his member slipped out, I knew it was over. What time is it now? Still trembling, I tried to calm myself and check the time, but my body was flipped upside down.“What, wait…!”Realizing he was about to go again, I thought about escaping and started to crawl forward, almost falling under the bed. As I grabbed the edge of the blanket like a lifeline, my hips were pulled inward, dragging me back. Clinging to the blanket, I had no choice but to tumble forward. Already thoroughly penetrated, his member entered me again. I buried my head into the bed, gripping the blanket tightly.“Ah, I really like this.”Jung Woojin let out a languid breath, pressing close behind me and whispering in my ear, “When you feel too much and want to stop, just hold on.”“Are you crazy…!”“If you keep holding on like this, you’ll end up crying. You’ll think you’re going to die.”“That really hurts, ugh!”“It’s not that it hurts; it’s because it feels so good. I know all about it.”Before I could even retort, he thrust inside me again. The repetitive sounds of flesh colliding and the relentless penetration made it impossible for me to think straight. Each thrust pushed my body up, causing the blanket to ride higher. With no respite, the constant thrusting eventually made me cry out, just as Jung Woojin had said.“Stop, please…!”“What is it?”“There, that, ah!”“Here?”“Uh, ugh! Ah, ah, ahh!”“Here?”“Uh, uh, ah…!”Due to climaxing twice, embarrassingly thin liquid dripped down from his member, too watery to call semen.It had been a long time since Jung Woojin had erased the fact that he had to take an early morning flight tomorrow from his mind.＊＊＊I opened my eyes well past twelve o’clock. As I tossed and turned, my whole body ached, and when I lazily opened my eyes, I checked the clock and jumped up in shock. Jung Woojin was already gone, and the space beside me was empty. The house was quiet.Groaning as I got off the bed, I noticed a note on the bedside table.[Sunbae, I left since you were sleeping. I’ll call you later. I love you.]I stared at the note for a while before checking the clock again. Did he leave on time? Oh, shit. I only wanted to do it once, but it seemed like we ended up going at it until dawn. How did I manage to get up and leave?Frowning, I stood there for a moment before quickly washing up and heading to the living room. When I checked my phone, I found a text message. It said he was getting on the plane now, and at the end, there was a “I love you” again.[I’ll contact you when I arrive.]I started to type a reply, wondering if I should add something more, but then just hit the send button.As I thought about what I would do during the week without Jung Woojin, I flopped onto the sofa and turned on the television. I watched a boring comedy show and then searched on my phone. How long does it take to get from here to Paris? I searched that, too, as well as what the weather was like there, whether it was a dangerous place to travel, and other random information. After that, I turned off the TV and got up from the sofa.The silence of my phone felt strange. Should I go out for a bit? It’s cold; maybe I should just stay home. No, I should eat something first.Standing in the middle of the living room with my phone in hand, I frowned. I had never been without Jung Woojin for a day, so I had no idea what to do by myself. Even when I tried to be alone, Jung Woojin would always contact me or suggest meeting up, so I hadn’t really done anything alone lately.What did I do before meeting Jung Woojin? I just hung out with friends, drank, and ate… I think I also went to an internet cafe to play games.With no choice, I sat back down on the sofa and turned on the TV again. I watched a variety show, then a drama, and after a long time had passed, I finally got up with a heavy body. I hadn’t eaten all day, but I didn’t feel hungry. What should I eat? I just boiled some ramen.As I finished cooking the ramen and was about to eat, my phone vibrated. I quickly answered before it could vibrate three times.“Hello?”— Sunbae, I’ve arrived.I checked the clock again. It was past nine in the evening, almost ten.— Have you eaten? What did you do today? What are you doing now?Before I could say anything, Jung Woojin started firing off questions. I quietly listened to him chatter away and then said, “I’m eating now.”— Eating? What are you having? Something you like from the fridge…“Ramen.”— What?“I’m eating ramen. Just cooked it.”— ……There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone after my words. I put down my chopsticks and leaned back in my chair.“What are you eating?”— I’m just having the in-flight meal… Why are you eating ramen?I hesitated to say I had no appetite and then came up with a vague excuse.“Just too lazy.”— It’s just heating it up after taking it out of the fridge. What’s so lazy about that?As he said that, I heard someone calling Jung Woojin on the other end of the line. Normally, I would have told him to hang up, but I didn’t say that this time. I picked up my chopsticks again and stirred the ramen.“Where are you now?”— At the airport. I called you as soon as I arrived.“Where are you going now?”— I’m going to my accommodation. I’ll unpack and won’t work today; I’ll start tomorrow. What did you do today, Sunbae? Did you miss me? While I was on the plane, I took photos of the sky to show you and even took pictures of the in-flight meal before I ate it. But every time I took a picture, I wanted to see you so badly that I thought I was going to die. Oh, can I write you a letter and send it? I want to write a postcard and a letter, too, and oh, what’s your email address, Sunbae? You don’t have an email, right? Then I’ll just make one for you and send you the ID and password so you can log in…Jung Woojin started talking non-stop. The more he spoke, the more pointless his words seemed. Anyone would think he hadn’t seen me for months or years. He was just coming back after a week, and yet he was talking about letters… And it would take way longer than a week for a letter to arrive from there to here. I didn’t understand why he wanted to do that.— If I write a letter and a postcard and send it, will you reply?At that moment, Jung Woojin, who had been excitedly talking, asked with an unexpectedly insecure voice.“Just send a text. Why go through the trouble of writing letters, postcards, and emails…?”— We’re going to text each other every day anyway. I can’t do things like letters on normal days, so I might as well try writing them now, when else would I?Jung Woojin would probably report everything he did in detail via text anyway. But was there really anything to write in a letter or an email? I thought about it with a frown and nodded.“Okay, then just send an email. Letters and postcards take a lot of time and are a hassle.”— Really? Will you actually reply?“I’ll reply at least once a day. So, you only send me a message once a day too.”I thought I didn’t have anything to do anyway. Letting out a sigh, I heard Jung Woojin gasp.— Really? Really? You said you’d send it. If you don’t send it, I’m really going to go straight to Korea. Ah, Sunbae, I love you. I really feel like I’m going to die because I miss you so much. I was watching you sleep this morning and was going to stay, but I thought you might get angry…Jung Woojin started passionately confessing his love again. I nodded vaguely to his spontaneous declarations and twirled my already soggy ramen with my chopsticks. Then I heard someone calling Jung Woojin again. Nevertheless, Jung Woojin’s declarations of love showed no sign of stopping. Reluctantly, I cut off his words and spoke.“Someone’s calling. Go check it out. Send a text when you arrive at the lodging.”— Sunbae, I miss you.I miss you too.After hesitating for a moment, I spoke.“Let’s contact later.”— Sunbae, don’t eat anything like rice noodles, just eat proper food.“Got it.”— And keep staying at our place. Don’t answer the doorbell or open the door for anyone, even if they ask you to, and don’t order delivery food, just in case. Oh, also, I saw on the internet that sometimes people pretend to check the gas and ask to open the door briefly, but even if such a person comes, don’t open the door…Jung Woojin started to babble again. It seemed endless, so I tried to cut him off, but Jung Woojin called me.— And Sunbae.“Why.”— … Who are you going to meet?“What?”— No, it’s not that I’m telling you not to meet anyone, I’m just curious who you’re meeting… Could you let me know if you meet someone? Also, take a picture of where you’re going, send it to me, keep texting, and it’s dangerous at night, so at least go home by six in the evening. Keep talking to me on the phone until you arrive home…“…”It was unbelievable. If this continued, he might even tell me not to go if someone offered to buy me something delicious. Oh, now that I think about it, I think I’ve heard this before. I think Jung Woojin said this when he lost his memory.When I didn’t say anything, Jung Woojin said defensively.— I’m not forcing you, I’m just worried about you, Sunbae. Even if something happens to you, I can’t just come out right now because I’m not even outside the country… Even if I say I’ll go as soon as possible, it’ll take twelve hours… I’m really outside the country right now. If I can’t contact you, I’ll be devastated.I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of him sobbing. When I laughed as if incredulous, Jung Woojin slowly started to make threats.“I’m serious. If we can’t contact each other, I’ll go overseas and marry you, Sunbae.”“Why are we suddenly talking about marriage here?”When I asked incredulously instead of laughing, Jung Woojin said bluntly. Then I heard Jung Woojin being called again with a sharp, irritated voice. I sighed and said with annoyance.“Okay, hang up now. Contact me when you arrive at your lodging.”“Yes? You got it? Marriage? Will you marry me?”“No, damn it! Seriously! Hang up, you idiot!”I couldn’t bear it anymore, even though I tried to endure because he was working overseas. I was absolutely unable to endure it. It was meant as a plea for him to stop, but whether he heard it or not, Jung Woojin softly shouted somewhere after taking his phone off.“Sunbae is going to marry me!”“No, wait…!”Then there was a sound of beeping from the phone. I looked at the screen that showed the call had ended with an expression of disbelief. Did this guy just hang up first? Without even saying he was hanging up? Incredulous, I stared at the screen and sighed. Then I tried to eat ramen, but it was all swollen and the broth had completely boiled away.“Ah, damn it.”I threw away the swollen ramen and rummaged through the fridge. I felt like I was going to die of hunger, even though just a while ago I had no appetite.＊ ＊ ＊When I woke up in the morning, I opened my computer after seeing the ID and password sent via text. There was an email from Jung Woojin. Even though we texted and called every day, I still couldn’t understand why he wanted to use email. But since I knew he would keep whining until I did it if I said no, it was easiest to just do what he asked.I slowly scrolled down reading what Jung Woojin had written. Despite all the talking we did over texts and calls, there wasn’t a single thing in his email that wasn’t already said: words like “I love you,” “I miss you,” and concerns for my safety. Then a text came to my phone.It was several photos sent by Jung Woojin.[I meant to send these by email but forgot.]Several photos of the sky that seemed to be taken from an airplane, a few photos that looked like inflight meals, a photo of me taken at the airport and other various landscape photos. I was absent-mindedly swiping through the photos Jung Woojin sent when suddenly a photo of my sleeping face appeared on the screen.“…”As I blinked, he sent me another text message.[I’m sorry, I sent it accidentally.]Seeing the desperate text, I looked again at my photo. There was no mistaking that the photo was taken on the day of departure. Just seeing my face lying flat out like that, apparently fast asleep, I sent a reply.[How many did you take?]I sent the text and was waiting for a reply when strangely my phone became silent. Not long ago, there was a big mess because there were a lot of strange photos on my phone, and I deleted them all at once. They were photos that were obviously taken secretly with the focus off and all with strange expressions.Then the reply came.[Twelve.]In the midst of his busy schedule, he took twelve photos.[Send them all.]I was half undressed and in disarray, but he took twelve photos of me. I shuddered to think what kind of photos he could have taken and a firm reply came back.[I don’t want to.]As I looked at that, I finally called him. There was a signal tone for a long time before he finally picked up.“Hey, I told you not to take such photos, didn’t I?”— …“What kind of photos did you take? Damn it, did you take ones where I was naked?”— …“Hurry up and send all twelve.”— …Jung Woojin remained silent. After waiting for a while without a response, I gritted my teeth and spoke again.“I’ll delete all those photos when you come back to Korea.”— I set a password for the album.I couldn’t help but chuckle at his confident voice.“Your password is probably either my birthday or your bank account number.”What a simple-minded guy. I sneered, and Jung Woojin replied.— I set it with letters, so even you can’t guess it, Sunbae.I wondered if the shock of having the album deleted last time was why he had changed it to a text-based password. After a moment of thought, I responded.“Isn’t it ‘I love you, Sunbae’?”— No.“‘I like you, Sunbae.’”— No, that’s not it.“Kang Seoju.”— ……In just three exchanges, Jung Woojin lost his words. Is it true? I momentarily pulled the phone away from my ear, staring at the screen in disbelief. I could easily imagine the expression Jung Woojin was making. After a moment of contemplation, I placed the phone back to my ear.“……Are you eating well?”I couldn’t help but worry if this idiot was getting bullied abroad or if he was crying about it. What if he was scammed? Clicking my tongue, I suddenly noticed the time. 8:54.“Where are you now?”— In my room. I’ll change the password later.“Even if you change it, it’s still probably something like ‘I love you’ or ‘Seoju is mine,’ you idiot. Anyway, go to bed quickly; it’s dawn there, right?”— If you promise not to delete the album, I’ll go to sleep.I sighed internally, holding back the urge to suggest he just change the password to something harder.“Alright, turn off the lights and lie down. Have you showered?”— I showered earlier. Are you really not going to delete it?“I’m not deleting it. Now sleep. What time do you have to wake up tomorrow?”— 7 o’clock.At that, I frowned and calculated the time. What time is it in Paris now? They said there was an eight-hour difference… It’s almost one in the morning there. Even if he goes to sleep right now, he can only get six hours of sleep.“I’ll call you again later at the right time, so just go to sleep.”— I miss you.“Didn’t take your meds?”— I want to sleep hugging Sunbae.“Stop with the meds; if you keep taking them, you’ll really be in trouble later.”— I want to suck Sunbae’s cock.“Do you want to die, you crazy bastard? Just sleep and stop talking nonsense!”But even after that, Jung Woojin kept spouting out strange nonsense. His voice was clear, so it seemed like he wasn’t really thinking straight. Meanwhile, the time had already turned 9:30. I thought I’d have to wake up by seven at the latest and decided to use my last resort.“Hey, Jung Woojin.”— Please call me Woojin.“Woojin, if you eat well, sleep well, and work hard while you’re there…”— Will you marry me?“No, you idiot. Aside from asking me to marry you, I’ll do one thing you want.”I was about to say I’d do one thing he asked when I realized that would be a big mistake. I couldn’t tell if I was raising a child or dating right now.— Then when I go to Korea, can we live together?“Forget that.”— Ah, you’re taking out everything I want.I frowned at his muttering. Just because we have separate homes doesn’t mean we aren’t practically living together already. We eat and sleep together at least five or six times a week at either my place or his. I didn’t understand what he was dissatisfied about.I checked the time again and said.“Okay, we’ll live together.”— Where? At my place? Sunbae’s place?“Anywhere.”— Really?“Yeah, so just go to sleep, please…”— Will you really live together?“Yes. Did you turn off the lights?”— I turned them off. If you say anything different when I go to Korea, I won’t let you go home.“Then cover yourself with a blanket and close your eyes. Don’t open them.”— I closed my eyes and covered myself with the blanket. Should we change our bed? I saw a really pretty cup a while ago, and it was a couple’s set…Why would we change our perfectly fine bed? It’s already huge. And what’s with the cup all of a sudden… I sighed and rubbed my forehead.“If you’ve turned off the lights, covered yourself with a blanket, and closed your eyes, then shut your mouth and fall asleep quietly.”— Can’t we talk for just ten more minutes?“Uh, no. So shut up and sleep.”— Sunbae, I miss you.I was about to curse but stopped myself. Why is he talking so much when I told him to just sleep? Is this bastard really planning to stay up all night? I sighed internally and suddenly recalled the email Jung Woojin had sent earlier. I looked at it quietly, then said.“I miss you too.”— Huh?“I said I miss you too.”— ……After that, Jung Woojin was silent for a while. I couldn’t tell if he had fallen asleep or was just pretending. I held the phone for more than thirty minutes, and when I heard his steady breathing, I finally hung up.I stared at the pictures of Paris that Jung Woojin had sent me earlier, lost in thought. It really was beautiful, just like he said in the email. I glanced back at my computer screen, where I had written that I wanted to walk with Sunbae, then looked at my phone screen again.I should probably go get a passport later.＊ ＊ ＊A week passed with daily phone calls, texts, and emails. At first, Jung Woojin couldn’t sleep well even after talking for a long time, but now he would fall asleep just thirty minutes after we started talking. When I woke him up in the morning, he would whine that he wanted to sleep for just ten more minutes, so it seemed he was sleeping well. This was the best change since Jung Woojin left for Korea.— I’m at the airport now.“What time are you arriving?”— The arrival time in Korea… Wait a moment. Ah, it’ll be the next day at 5:40 PM. By the time I get my luggage and reach home, it should be around 8 PM.“Then we should eat when you arrive.”Should I just go out and eat together? I thought about it and said.“I’ll come pick you up at the airport, so let’s eat dinner nearby or somewhere else before heading home.”— You’ll come pick me up? Really?“How long do you think it takes to get to the airport…”— Are you really going to pick me up?No matter how many times I said I was going, Jung Woojin kept asking in disbelief. Then, amidst his declarations of love for Sunbae and how much he missed me, I exchanged a few more words before hanging up the call.